Dying to Live

by Roxy De Winter

  The four men left the room, Frank and Pete still smirking at each other and Harry’s face reddening again when the girls noticed his attire.

  “Here, try this one,” Andy offered, handing him a plain, black t-shirt from his open car boot. “It should fit. You may as well put these in that truck of yours whilst we’re at it. I’ll explain later,” He added, before hoisting a box from the trunk and passing it to a confused Frank. Harry hurriedly tore off the shirt and pulled on the new one, whilst the remaining box and the single bag were transferred to their vehicle. When they were done, Andy slammed his trunk shut and lit up another cigarette.

  “Shall we go?” He asked.

  “We’ll meet you there,” Frank nodded, and headed for the driver side of the truck. “C’mon, Hazza. You get to ride shotgun.”

  22.

  ‘Bryce don’t take shit from no one, aight? Whoever those jagoffs were, I’d get a hold of ‘em and they’d wish I hadn’t. Me and my boys, we wanted those weapons, and they was ours to take. We went to the trouble of sending that stupid li’l nerd over there to lure out the zom’s. They ain’t got no right to sweep in there before us. We got a fair trade to offer ‘em, though. A nice delivery that they ain’t gonna forget.’

  “Pedal to the metal, JJ. We nearly there,” Bryce hollered at the car riding alongside the truck he was in.

  “No sweat, boss,” JJ called back, putting his foot down.

  They would roll into town in about an hour, maybe less by Bryce’s estimation. They’d definitely come this way, he just knew it. The other boys may be thick as dog shit but he was not.

  The noise in the back of the truck was beginning to irritate him. He hammered on the metal partition with his loaded SMG rifle. Maybe he wasn’t as clever as he thought. The noise of his banging only triggered more excitement in the back.

  23.

  ‘They’d got me on lookout, but at least it was a nice evening. The breeze was just right for the time of year. Andy asked me to take his turn. The kid works hard, so I didn’t mind doing it. He should get a night off at the bar occasionally. I was sat, right up, on one of the train carts, watching the road and thinking of Rosa at home with the baby. Thomas Elkin, definitely come a long way in life. I’ve got a family of my own, The Lord by my side and now a job protecting my town.’

  “You seriously listen to this kind of music?” Harry asked Andy, his eyebrows raised.

  “What’s wrong with it?” Andy chuckled. He was leaned back in his seat, tapping along to the raucous musical assault of pounding drums, screaming guitars and the accompanying shouted lyrics.

  “Alright, I’m next. I’ll show you some proper music,” Harry told him, getting up from his seat to drop his fifty cents into the jukebox. It felt like a long time since they had heard music, had company, or just been in a situation that felt normal even if it wasn’t. The bar was no longer running as a business. Since the outbreak, money was useless, communications were down and nobody had news of the outside world. The bar felt more like a get together at a friend’s place. The drinks were free and the barman had given them a handful of change and told them to put some music on.

  Lucy and Frank were at the bar. Frank had convinced her to do a couple of shots with him.

  “How long has it been since any of us could have a real drink?” Frank asked her. “Come on, last one since I have to drive the truck back later. Ready?”

  “Ugh, I guess so. Do I really have to drink this?” She asked him, sceptically examining the tiny glass pinched between her fingers.

  “Yes, on three,” Frank urged her. She raised the glass to her lips and on his count, drained it down and screwed up her face. He laughed at her puckered lips and scrunched up eyes.

  “You didn’t even drink yours!” She exclaimed, slamming the shot glass onto the bar. He laughed some more.

  “I just wanted to watch you do yours. It’s so funny,” he said, before picking up his own glass. “Cheers,” he said, tipping it to her before gulping its contents.

  Pete made his way back to the table with two tumblers of whiskey, which had come highly recommended. A guy, who had introduced himself as Al, had stopped him when he made his order, and told him he simply had to try this one rather than the one he was ordering.

  “Here,” he said to Xin, as he slid one of the glasses over the table to her. “You’re a whiskey girl, if I remember correctly?”

  “Thanks,” she smiled back. “Am I paranoid to think that we shouldn’t all be drinking?”

  “You’re not paranoid, no.” Pete shrugged. “But who knows when or if we’ll ever get to do it again?”

  “I suppose you’re right.” Xin looked at the glass and gave in to the desire to take a sip.

  “So... Are you always this cynical? Or is it just the whole ‘end of the world’ situation?” He asked her with light-hearted curiosity. He had a way of making it so that he wasn’t being unkind.

  Xin let out a bitter laugh. “I know. I’m the miserable one. But believe it or not, I used to be fun... Before all of this.”

  “I believe it,” Pete smiled. “And I don’t think you’re the ‘miserable one’. I just think that maybe you should take the opportunities you get to have a little fun, whenever they come along. I know everything is...” He paused to think. “There’s no way to say it without it sounding understated, so I’m just going to say it. Everything is messed up. But we’re alive, which means we should live.”

  Xin took some time to think, while she drank a little more of her drink. The warmth that worked its way down her throat, all the way to her stomach, seemed to unwind her a little. Those who lived in luxury had massages, for her the whiskey worked just as well.

  “I know that I’m being annoyingly uptight,” she sighed. “I want to lighten up. I just don’t know how to do that. You guys don’t seem to struggle with it but you said it yourself, everything is messed up. How can I not feel tense and on edge? Who knows what tomorrow will bring? Who knows what the next five minutes could bring? Things might never be normal again.”

  “Exactly,” Pete said quietly, reaching out and placing one of his huge hands over her comparatively small one. “What more reason can there be to live in the moment?”

  “But that’s so easy for you,” She said, placing her free hand over his and sandwiching it between both of her own. “You’ve lived like that, in the moment, for a long time. You told me so, on the plane. I don’t know how to be like you, or them...” Xin nodded her head toward Frank and Lucy. Lucy was now sat on Frank’s knee and the pair laughed at a joke one of the locals was telling.

  “You don’t need to be like anyone else,” Pete told her, extricating his hand from hers. He took both of her hands in his and looked into her face. “We all deal with things in our own way. But you need to find a way to forgive yourself for the things you cannot change. You have to find a way to adapt to how things are and accept that this is life now. You can sit around and worry about every passing moment or seize it as though it’s your last. I’m not saying that it’s easy, but you don’t need to punish yourself. Maybe we will all die tomorrow, maybe we won’t. Nothing can change that if it’s going to happen, but right now we are alive. Nobody’s life should be over until they’ve actually stopped breathing.”

  A tear leaked from Xin’s eye. Pete still had her hands so she couldn’t hide it. He reached up and wiped it away with his thumb.

  “I hate this,” She said simply.

  “Me too,” He smiled sadly.

  She took another drink, the warmth again finding its way into every crack and soothing her. Without thinking, she told Pete “I wish I could have met you before all of this.”

  His sad smile evolved into a more genuine one. “Me too, but at least we did meet, all of us. And we wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for the current circumstances.”

  “True enough,” Xin managed a smile. “I think I know two other people who are glad to have met.” She nodded again at Frank and Lucy. Franks arms were wrapped around her wa
ist and Lucy was planting a light kiss on his cheek.

  Pete snorted. “Well, they might be glad they met but if they start getting smoochy all the time, I might not be.”

  “Oh, but it’s me that needs to lighten up, is it?” Xin raised her eyebrows defiantly and smiled.

  “Absolutely,” He laughed, getting up from his chair. He leaned over and kissed her lightly on the head. “I’m just going to talk to Andy, okay? Maybe you should go and pull Lucy away before people start vomiting?”

  Xin laughed, as he walked away and Lucy beckoned her over.

  “Xiiiiin, come and have a shot of this awful stuff with meeeee,” she cooed, giggling drunkenly. Xin rolled her eyes and went to join her.

  “Hey guys,” Pete said, joining them by the jukebox. “Whose God awful song choice is this?”

  “Oh, this one is all Harry” Andy sniggered.

  “Hey!” Harry said indignantly, “This is a classic.”

  “No, this is boring,” Andy responded with a laugh, patting Harry’s back sympathetically.

  “I have to agree, man.” Pete shrugged apologetically at Harry. “So, Andy...”

  “Uhuh...” He smiled back expectantly.

  “Did you talk to your people about them meeting with us?” Pete asked.

  “I wanted to talk to you about that actually,” Andy said, clicking his fingers and pointing as though he had just been reminded.

  “Oh?” Pete was distracted before he got an answer. There was a disturbance by the doors as a panicked and harassed looking man bustled in.

  “Is Andy in here? Andy?” The man called, looking quickly around the room. “Christ sake, ANDY?”

  “I’m here. What’s up, Tom?” Andrew waved to get his attention as he lifted himself from his seat.

  “You gotta get out here, something’s wrong. Are you armed?” Tom asked urgently.

  “No. What’s going on?” Andy looked worried now.

  “I don’t know but I don’t like it, c’mon,” He replied. “Folks, you need to lock this place up and stay inside,” he warned the whole crowd, who were now all listening.

  Andy looked at Pete.

  “We’ll come too,” Pete nodded. “Frank, are you coming?”

  “Aye, give me a sec.” Frank slid Lucy from his lap and kissed her forehead. She staggered slightly and looked confused. “Xin, can you make sure she gets back to the truck?” He asked, as he rose from the bar stool.

  Xin nodded and placed an arm around Lucy’s waist. “Come on, we have to go,” she told her.

  “No more shots?” Lucy frowned.

  “No,” Xin said firmly.

  Harry rose too and he, Frank and Pete followed Tom and Andy from the Bar. Xin half dragged Lucy out after them and into the stark evening air. Once outside she heard the door being locked behind them.

  “We’ve got a big ass truck approaching and a couple smaller cars coming with it like a fucking entourage,” Tom explained. “Driving like maniacs, they’re all over the road and coming up fast. I think one of them was waving some big gun from the window too.”

  “Shit,” Andy frowned. “Did you send word to the others?”

  “No, I didn’t have time to get up to the depot. That’s why I ran down here. They’re gonna be here any moment, what with the speed they were going at.”

  Frank was already in the driver side of the typhoon, triggering the controls for the ramp. “I guess now’s a good time to tell you we’re armed up to the eyeballs back here?” Frank gestured with his thumb.

  “Can we...?” Andy questioned.

  “Come on, quick, get in,” Pete told them all. Thomas joined Frank in the front and the others climbed quickly into the back. Andy helped Xin pull Lucy up the ramp and sit her down. Then they were all sealed safely inside, as Frank closed the ramp behind them.

  “These boxes look pretty official,” Andy said, looking inquisitively at the enormous crates they had brought with them. “Nevada Military Airbase,” he read from the side of one. “Oh. Okay, this probably isn’t the best time to ask, but please, just tell me that you’re the good guys?”

  “We are,” Xin told him, looking him straight in the eye.

  “Good to know,” he nodded back.

  “Harry, give me a hand?” Pete asked, as he hurried to unfasten the clips holding one of the boxes shut. They could hear the squeal of tires not far away now, and the shouting and laughing of men.

  Together the two men got the box open and found it to be the one they had filled with various armour.

  “It’s as good as any,” Pete shrugged. “Pass it around.”

  “What about Lucy?” Xin asked.

  Pete looked at Lucy, who was now fast asleep where she sat. “I don’t think she’s going to need any. She won’t be getting out and whoever they are, they won’t be getting in here. She’ll be fine.”

  Harry passed Andy a heavy, armoured vest and Andy looked surprised.

  “Me?” He asked.

  “Put it on, you might need it,” Pete instructed.

  Frank drove the vehicle into the road and headed out to greet the convoy that was approaching. In the back, the others were opening a second box which contained a portion of their weapons.

  “Frank, pull over. We can wait for them here,” Andy advised him, noticing that they were almost at the edge of town.

  “And put one of these on,” Pete said.

  Once they stopped, Frank put on a vest of his own. He accepted a much bigger gun and glanced nervously over his shoulder at Lucy.

  Tom, however, refused to accept anything other than what he already had.

  “Those guys won’t have armour on, and neither will I,” he said stubbornly.

  “Proud old fool,” Andy whispered, almost inaudibly, under his breath.

  “They’re on us,” Frank informed everyone, as the truck screeched to a halt in front of them. “What the hell is this?”

  “What?” Pete asked from the behind him.

  “He’s turning the truck around,” Tom answered for him. “I don’t like this one bit.”

  The sizeable vehicle struggled on the small road, but manoeuvred until, bizarrely, it was facing away from them. Then two cars pulled up beside it. For a short time nobody moved, nobody spoke and all that could be heard was a strange clattering. Then the driver’s side of the offending truck swung open. The man that hopped down from the cab was big, black and muscular with unkempt facial hair. He leered at their vehicle as though challenging any of them to get out and face him.

  “I’ll go and talk to him,” Tom said, wiping a handkerchief across his creased brow and tucking it into his pocket. “You all can stay here.”

  “Are you sure that’s...” Andy started.

  “I’m not gonna hide in here and let him think Caliente is full of pussies, and I sure as shit don’t need backup if he doesn’t,” Tom cut in. “I’ll face him like a man and the good Lord will see that no harm befalls me.”

  “I really don’t think that’s a good idea,” Andy sighed. But Tom was already out of the car and striding over to greet the stranger. Frank cracked the sunroof open again to try and hear the exchange.

  “I came to reclaim some of my property.” The intruding stranger spoke as though he was in on a joke that they weren’t party to. “Judging by your wheels, I got the right people. I’m betting y’all didn’t just happen upon a military grade ride.”

  “I’m sure that I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Tom retaliated boldly.

  “Come on, y’all don’t wanna play it like this. Hand over what you took and we can be on our way.”

  “I didn’t take nothing. We’re a good people out here...” Tom was saying.

  “They’re from the base,” Xin hissed quietly so that her voice wouldn’t travel out through the window. “They must have found out that we took the weapons. We have to do something, Tom doesn’t know what they’re talking about.”

  “Like what?” Frank whispered back even quieter. “There are at least six mor
e of them from what I’ve seen. What do you think’s in the back of that truck? I don’t like that he turned it to face us.”

  “We need to get Tom back. Why didn’t he just take the armour?” Xin wasn’t frustrated at him, she was afraid of the deceptively calm maniac who was stood only a few feet away from him.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, my mistake,” the big guy smiled at Tom. “I can see that I was wrong. We’ll be on our way.”

  “What?” Pete frowned. “They’re leaving?”

  “Something doesn’t seem right,” Andy said, craning around to see through the windshield.

  The bearded stranger was striding back to the cab of his truck. The door was still hanging open. Tom stood bemusedly in the road and turned to look questioningly back at them.

  Suddenly, the back end of the truck began to roll up in front of them. The air filled with the familiar hum of groaning bodies and trepidation washed over them. Once the back of the truck was fully opened they all gasped. Inside was a space filled with grotesque, drooling, bloodied zombies.

  “Shit!” Tom yelled.

  “Y’all should have cooperated. Now I’m just gonna take that stuff back from your dead bodies,” The stranger called, hanging out of the cab of his truck.

  “Tom, get back here!” Andy roared. But Tom was frozen in place and the first monster had spotted him. It lurched forward, staggering at first and then more determined. The others followed suit and descended towards him.

  “We have to help him!” Pete was already out of his seat and checking the chamber of his gun. “Come on. Frank, drop the back.”

  “It’s too late,” Frank told him, quiet with shock. Andy sucked in a deep breath, his eyes shooting wide open.

  Pete looked back. Tom hadn’t even been able to scream. The first of his attackers had dived straight at his throat and blood now bubbled out of a gaping, ragged hole and spilled to the ground. After the initial aggressor was knocked aside by the others, the rest of the zombies fought over him like wild animals. It was like watching piranhas swarm a carcass. Monsters clawed and bit and pulled at him from all sides. A pair of the corpses were locked in a sick game of tug-of-war, their teeth clenched into an arm each, clutching their gnarled hands into his shirt and pulling in opposite directions. More and more joined in, until Tom’s limbs tore off like chicken wings. As his helpless body slumped to the ground, others dropped to their knees, oblivious to all but their delicious, fresh kill.