I'm with the Band

by Melanie Brown

  I looked at myself in the mirror on my dresser. I grunted at the thought that most boys don’t have a vanity in their room. I was dressed as myself to make getting through airport security easier. I’d become Michelle at the hotel. I had my hair pulled back into a tight pony tail. I frowned because even without trying I still looked girlish.

  I dragged my bags into the living room. I looked out the door and watched Dad try to figure out the logistics of how all our luggage was going to fit in the trunk of the car. I looked back at my stuff on the floor and began to wonder if I should leave one or two of them at home and Dad could ship them later.

  It was then I noticed that one bag was missing and I couldn’t leave it behind! I rushed back to my room, did a quick scan and noticed it wasn’t there. I rushed into the bathroom and there it was. My pink make-up bag. No way was I going to L.A without my make-up.

  From the hallway outside the bathroom, I heard a voice call, “Michelle? Where are you?”

  I looked out the door and there was Kayla. I stepped out into the hall, carrying the pink bag.

  “Kayla! How’s it going?” I asked.

  “I came to say good-bye and wish you good luck,” she said.

  “Thanks.” I gave her a quick smile and said, “I’m going to miss coming over for hair and make-up lessons.”

  Grinning she said, “I’m going to miss that too! But you’re a real pro at it now.”

  I nodded and looked down at my feet. I looked up and said, “We don’t have much time, but I want to talk to you about something.” I gestured toward the bed.

  We sat down and Kayla looked at me expectantly. After a moment, I said, “Kayla, I’m worried about pulling this off.”

  Looking puzzled, she asked, “Worried about what?”

  I looked at my hands and said, “Pretending to be a girl. Doing it for a week was one thing. Now it’s going to be for the next couple of months… maybe longer. I didn’t have to talk to very many people before. Now, I’m sure we’ll have interviews and concerts and all kinds of public appearances. I just don’t know if I can keep up an act for that long.”

  Kayla grinned and smacked the palm of her hand against my forehead. “Hello! You weren’t acting when you came over to my house the past month or so, were you?”

  Rubbing my forehead I said, “No. So?”

  Shaking her head, but still grinning Kayla said, “Silly! You don’t have to act. Just be yourself for crying out loud! Just act like you. Mike and Michelle is the same wonderful person. If you act like you, you’ll act like Michelle. And don’t worry about Tommy either. Just relax.”

  I nodded and said, “You’re right.” I looked at my feet again for a moment.

  Kayla said, “Don’t forget about me as you become a big star, okay?”

  I picked up her hand and touched together our fingers that she’d poked with a needle weeks ago. I grinned and said, “I won’t forget you. We’re sisters, remember?”

  Kayla threw her arms around my neck and hugged me. It was a sisterly hug, one shared by close girlfriends. It was a very warm moment, and I couldn’t stop a tear from running down my cheek.

  When Kayla pulled away, she looked at me and said, “It’s a good thing you’re not wearing mascara!”

  Before I could say anything, Dad burst into the room, “Oh, sorry Mike. Didn’t know you had company. Is that all your luggage out there?” I nodded and he said, “Great. I’m going to need your help tying some of that stuff on the roof of the car. Do you have any rope in here by any chance?”

  “Nope Dad. Sorry.” I said

  Kayla got up and said, “Well, you guys are busy, so I best be going.”She gave me another hug and as she turned to go, she suddenly stopped, turned back to me and reached behind her neck. “I almost forgot! I was going to give this to you.”

  She handed me a golden necklace with a small, dainty chain and a small cross as the pendant. “Kayla, I can’t take your necklace!”

  “Sure ya can! This way, in some small way, we’re together.”

  I put the necklace around my neck and fumbled with the clasp a moment. I said, “Thanks Kayla, but I don’t have anything for you.”

  “That’s okay. Hey, see ya! Good luck!”she said as she flashed a smile.

  “Thanks! Mom’s taking the notebook this time, so I’ll send you some email. Take care!” I said as she turned ran down the hall.

  * * *

  I turned away from the plane’s window and looked across the cabin. Mom was next to me, and some stranger sat next to her. John and Fritz were on the opposite aisle. Sammy and Juan were somewhere behind me. I sighed and looked back out the window.

  I couldn’t believe what was happening. We were finally on our way back to L.A. where we’d either make it big, or be trivia on some future VH1 ‘One Hit Wonders’ show. The band’s song was slowly climbing up the charts to number twenty at last count. My song was already in the top fifteen of the Country chart and thirty-five on the Pop chart. A couple of cosmetics companies were hoping I’d sign on to endorse their products.

  How has my life come to this? I’m more successful than I ever could have imagined, but how did my little boy dreams of becoming an astronaut or a member of the Special Forces turn into a girl selling tampons and mascara?

  I was also glad to see John seemed to finally be happy. He loved walking into Taco Bell and giving his two seconds notice. He better hope our CDs sell, because he won’t be able to work at Taco Bell again. He was even being civil to me.

  Mom… well, Mom looked tired. I don’t think she really believed we’d hit the big time when she agreed to be our manager. Still, I don’t think she’d give it up.

  Dad stayed at home to run his insurance business. If we do well, he’ll sell the house and move in with us. If we don’t, well, we’ll have a home to come back to.

  I jiggled the necklace as I looked out the window. I shook my head and thought, I must be completely insane.

  * * *

  Chapter 12

  I just sat there a few moments after brushing my hair, staring at myself in the mirror. Take a good look at yourself, Mike ol’ boy, I said to myself. This is the last time anyone will get to see you for two or three months.

  I looked down at the array of cosmetics spread before me, no longer the icky goo that I used to consider it. I studied my image one last time, then picked up the foundation and started to apply it.

  From behind me, my brother said, “I still don’t see how you can stand to put that crap on your face.”

  I frowned at John’s image in the mirror and said, “Well, at first, I didn’t like it at all. I didn’t like the way it felt, or smelled or anything. But this stuff is a lot of fun. And it’s amazing what you can do with it.”

  John was unconvinced as he repeated, “Well, I still don’t see how you can stand it.”

  “It’s what you get used to. Besides, if we do any TV appearances, you’re going to have to wear make-up, too.” I looked at John’s reflection in the eye and said in all seriousness, “If you want, just for fun and to see what it’s like, I’ll be happy to do a make-over for you sometime.”

  Looking horrified, John said, “I think I’ll pass.” He started to walk away, and then added, “I don’t know why you’re even bothering with all that today. We have a visit this morning to Mr. Winter’s office for a meeting, then the real estate agent is going to show Mom some places.”

  Now it was my turn to look horrified as I said, “There’s no way I’m going out in public without my make-up on, or my hair fixed!”

  “Try not to get too used to being a girl, Mike,” John said as he started walk away. “It ain’t healthy.”

  I shook my head as I watched him go. After finishing my make-up, I settled for a simple white top and a short pink miniskirt and tennies.

  As I was brushing my hair out, I thought about how different this trip to L.A. was compared to the first one. This time we had to rent
a car when we arrived at the airport. No limousine was going to pick us up to take us to Mr. Winter’s office. We were going to have to get there on our own. In fact, getting their own car was a high priority for the guys, and I guess for Mom, too. I was still too young to drive, and I already knew I would have no say in what kind of car either Mom or John bought.

  * * *

  After his secretary notified we had arrived, Mr. Winter’s opened the door to his office and greeted us each with a hearty handshake. Well, except for me where he just took my hand and gently squeezed it. He motioned for us to enter his office and directed us to find a place to sit.

  His office was very large with a couch along one wall and several plush chairs sprinkled across the room. His desk was huge and had a large flat panel computer monitor on it. I was surprised that with the exception of a few neatly stacked sheets of paper, there was nothing else on the desk.

  I chose the couch and felt the coolness of the leather against my legs. Per drilling from Mom (and even from Kayla) I quickly crossed my legs and uselessly tugged on my skirt. Mom sat next to me and John next to her.

  After we were all situated, Mr. Winters said from his desk chair, “Congratulations everyone! Your CD is a smashing success. Radio stations across the country are giving your single lots of airplay. We’re expecting it to go double platinum. And Michelle’s song is rising even faster on the Country charts. All your hard work has really paid off.”

  The usually unflappable Fritz let out a “Whoop!”

  Mom clapped and John jumped up and said, “All right!” He slapped Fritz on the back and then sat back down. Sammy high-fived Fritz. Juan just sat there and smiled.

  Mr. Winters stood up and walked around to the front of his desk and leaned back against it. He looked around the room at us as he said, “Guys, I can almost guarantee the studio is going to request a follow-up album. We also need to start getting you guys some gigs on T.V. We’ve already started talks with The Tonight Show, The Late Show and Saturday Night Live. In a few weeks, you’ll be flying out to New York where you get some more television exposure as well as joining some other bands in a Central Park concert. Posters are selling well and all the teen magazines are asking for publicity photos. And Michelle has some contracts for product endorsements she need to look over. All-in-all, great job!”

  Fritz frowned and said, “Why does Michelle get all the endorsement gigs? There’s some good money in that.”

  Mr. Winters frowned right back as he said, “Well, Fritz, if you really want to, I can try to get you some ads endorsing tampons, lipstick, mascara and nail polish. It might be a hard sell though.”

  “Speaking of Michelle,” said John as he leaned forward from the couch. “How long should we wait before we replace her?”

  Looking surprised, Mr. Winters said, “Excuse me?”

  I looked around Mom and said, “What are talking about, John?”

  John laughed self-consciously and gestured toward me as he said to Mr. Winters, “Seriously, you can’t expect Mike to keep pretending to be a girl indefinitely, do you? At some point, we need to have a real girl do this.”

  “John! What the hell do you…” I started to shout, but was cut off by Mr. Winters.

  “Young man,” Mr. Winters said condescendingly, “you can’t possibly be serious. Do you want to torpedo your band before you even get a good start?

  In a defensive tone, John shot back, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, man. When we start doing concerts and going on talk shows and that shit (sorry Mom), there’s no way people are going to buy Mike as a girl! I mean, look at her… him.”

  Mr. Winters glanced over at me before he said, “I see a very pretty young woman sitting there. And quite frankly, John, so does everyone else. Posters of just Michelle are outselling the whole band’s by three to one. While everyone seems to love your song, and Michelle’s voice is a major component of that, you have a ton of people interested in the band because of Michelle. We have pre-teen girls who think she’s a great role model, and they love the way she dresses, and they want to wear their hair and make-up like her. We have adolescent boys who are buying her posters as soon as they hit the shelves.”

  Mr. Winters fell silent a moment as he scanned the faces in the room. He then said, “I’m not trying to sound harsh, guys, but without Michelle, you’re just another garage band.”

  I sat up a little straighter on the couch and smiled. John flashed me a withering glare, but I didn’t mind. I just sat there and smiled around the room. Sammy and Juan smiled back, but Fritz and John just frowned. I didn’t frown back at them, but I briefly entertained the idea of leaving the band and going solo.

  Mr. Winters then went on about more of the financials and schedules to appear on local radio stations. We were scheduled to shoot a video in two weeks. They were still working out the concept. I had some more commercials to shoot and of course, some more photo shoots.

  * * *

  “Honey, you don’t need to go with me with the real estate agent,” said Mom. “I know that sounds pretty boring.”

  “So does hanging around this hotel room!” I said.

  “How about if I drop you off at the mall?”

  “That’s a good idea,” I said. “I could go shopping. I mean, it’s been like hours since I bought my last dress.”

  Mom rolled her eyes and said, “I think it’s been longer than that. Still, they do have movie theaters there.”

  “Yeah, I can do that,” I said. “Just don’t spend all day picking out a house. Pick one and let’s move in.”

  Mom looked at me funny and said, “Even if I found a good one today, we couldn’t move into it tomorrow. You can’t buy a house like you buy a toaster.”

  “Why not?”

  Mom smirked and said, “Because lawyers aren’t involved in buying a toaster.”

  

  * * *

  Mom dropped me off at the mall near the movie theater. At first, I felt very conspicuous, wandering around the mall by myself, dressed as a girl. Then I realized that nobody was going to think it odd to see a teen age girl in a mall, which is what I appeared to be.

  I walked up to the theater and examined the marquee. I had seen most of them. One title caught my eye though as it had just been released. It was Tommy’s latest movie. Since I’ve dated the guy, I guessed the least I could do would be to go see his movie. I was curious if he acted as well as he kissed. Wait… scratch that...

  Anyway, I had a little over an hour before it started, so I thought I’d wander around the mall a bit. I had never been to this one before, and it was huge. It was certainly larger than the mall back home.

  I passed a couple of shoe stores and a dress store before coming to a music store. I wondered if they were selling our CD, so I decided to go take a look.

  Sure enough, there was our self titled, “John Gray’s Band”CD nestled in the rack. On the cover was a nice group photo with a gray background. I guessed the record company picked gray for a background color to match our last name. I’m glad we weren’t named “Fuchsia”.

  I looked at the price tag. Ouch! I’d probably download this myself if I hadn’t been given a complimentary copy. I put the CD back in the rack.

  I wandered around the store for a few minutes. At the back was a poster rack. I wondered if our poster was there. I hadn’t seen any of them, although Mom had to approve which images were used.

  I flipped through the posters. There were the usual sports posters, posters of nearly naked women, posters of nearly naked men, and alcohol related posters, which I flipped past without pausing. Then I came to a series of posters of Tommy. A couple were movie posters and the rest were obviously staged publicity photos. One in particular that caught my eye was of Tommy in just a swim trunks standing on the beach. His muscles were certainly well defined. I guess he has a personal trainer.

  Then I came to the band’s posters. These were the pictures taken at that old fa
ctory or whatever it was. The pictures were great. It was the first time I’d seen them. I flipped a couple more panels, and then said out loud, “Oh my God!”

  These were the posters of just me. Mom approved these? They were studio photos of me in various suggestive poses. I was suddenly not happy that adolescent boys were buying my poster, as I had a very good idea what they were doing with them!

  I suddenly felt dirty. There were no naughty bits showing, since I don’t really have any girl type naughty bits to show. However, the poses were very sexy. I couldn’t take my eyes off them. I was definitely going to have a talk with Mom about these.

  A salesman broke my reverie by asking, “Can I help you with something, miss?”

  It took a moment or two before I acknowledged that the salesman existed. I looked over at him and said, “No thanks. I’m just looking.”

  He smiled, nodded and said, “If you need anything, just let me know.” He started to walk away, and then suddenly stopped. He looked at me, then looked at the poster and said, “Excuse me, but are you Michelle Grayson?”

  I closed the panels together and quickly said, “No. I just look like her.”

  He looked at me closer and asked again, “Are you sure? Because you look so much like her!”

  I held up my hands half way in a gesture of surrender and said, “Okay, okay. Yes, it’s me.”

  His eyes lit up as he said, “Awesome! I’m a huge fan! I have one of your posters. Would you mind signing it?”

  Wow. My first encounter with a real fan, if you don’t count Kayla. I had been practicing writing in a feminine style, so I felt I was ready to do signings. I said, “Sure, I’d love to.”

  The salesman ran back to an office behind the counter and returned momentarily with a poster in his hand. It was the one with the most suggestive pose, of course. As he rolled it flat for me, he said, “Please make it out as, ‘To my good friend Matt’” He handed me a marker.