In Search of Scandal (London Explorers #1)

by Susanne Lord

  Charlotte hugged Lucy around her precious bundle. “Oh, Lucy, I’m so sorry, I am well. Are you all right?”

  “Yes, love, everyone’s ecstatic. Meet Edward. Isn’t he perfect?”

  Charlotte eased back the swaddling. The baby’s fathomless gaze blinked at her gasp and her heart flooded with love. “He’s the reddest thing I’ve ever seen.” She laughed through her tears.

  Another baby…Lucy’s baby.

  Another nephew.

  She slumped on her knees beside the bed, her head dropping onto the mattress, and she began to laugh. And then cry.

  “What is it, dearest?” Lucy asked, stroking her head.

  “Charlotte?” Wally’s voice came from behind her.

  She wiped her cheeks and rose on unsteady legs, prepared for a scolding. Instead, her brother gathered her into his arms and pulled her from the bedside so they’d not be heard. “I was so worried, dear heart. Do not ever frighten me again. Where were you? Are you hurt?”

  “I am not hurt—not at all. I will explain everything.” She left his arms to kiss Lucy’s brow, then followed him to his sitting room.

  To her dismay, Will was waiting within.

  “Are Lucy and the baby well?” Will asked.

  She nodded. Oh dear. Will had not changed his clothes. That fact would not go unnoticed by—

  “Why are you not dressed?” Wally scanned him, his face turning grim. Slowly, he faced her. “Tell me what happened last night, Charlotte.”

  “Will you not sit?”

  “One of you tell me right now.”

  Her brother’s cheeks darkened, a telltale purple she did not dare to disobey. She took a breath. “Hugh and I were on the nature walk and it grew dark. Mr. Repton came along with a lantern and Hugh took it. We could not see the path to come home.”

  “Tell him everything, Charlotte,” Will said.

  She looked at him, silently pleading to spare Wally those details.

  “Tell him or I will,” he said.

  Her brother stood straight-backed, appearing braced for a blow. “Hugh did not accept my decision to end our courtship. I could not make him understand we had to leave the wood before dark. He grabbed me and pulled me to the ground—”

  “He dared touch you?”

  “No, Wally! Will found us then. I wasn’t hurt.”

  Wally searched her eyes. Then turned to Will, who nodded grimly in confirmation.

  Wally pivoted to pull the bell for a servant. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse with rage. “I want that man out of our home. If he ever comes near you again, I will kill him—his money and title will not protect him.”

  Wally began to pace, and she sank onto the settee. A minute passed before her brother regained enough of his composure to speak. “And what transpired in the wood after Spencer left?”

  “We were able to make our way to the hermitage and slept until daybreak,” she said.

  “Slept? You both have love bites on your neck.”

  Mortified, she pulled the ends of her collar together. “Will saved me.”

  “Saved you? Charlotte, he has ruined you.”

  Will jerked his head up. “She isn’t ruined, Wallace, I swear it.”

  The men locked stares, until Wally wiped a weary hand down his face. “Christ God.” He sighed. “I believe you, Will. I do. But a dozen members of the ton downstairs know you two were together. All will believe you seduced her away from Spencer.”

  “So she will not marry Spencer,” Will muttered. “I don’t see that as much of a loss.”

  Charlotte closed her eyes. Will did not understand. But it appeared her brother was about to enlighten him.

  “True,” Wally said. “She will not marry Spencer. She will likely not marry any Englishman of breeding, education, and respectability.”

  “Of course she will. And why the hell did she have to reject Spencer alone? Why did you let Spencer near her? You should have protected her. Surely you know men better than him!”

  “You think I—”

  “Hell! I could’ve done better for her, Wallace! Matteson’s a decent man and rich enough, and what about—”

  “You could do better?” Wally’s face was nearly blue now.

  “Wally…please,” she said.

  “You could do better, Will? Here is what I propose so this idiocy does not ruin my sister. You marry her.”

  She gaped, speechless, but Will surged to his feet. “The hell I will! I sail in three months.”

  Oh no…no, no, no— “Wally, what are you doing?”

  But Wally stood and stalked Will. “If you wed, her reputation will be tarnished, but she will not be labeled a trollop.”

  She blinked. “A trollop? I am not even allowed to wear rouge.”

  “You found her where no one else thought to look,” Wally said. “You rescued her. It is easy enough to proclaim you her lover already.”

  Will looked at her and her undoubtedly pale, rouge-free face. “No. No, there must be another way.”

  “There is no other way!” Wally said.

  “Enough.” Charlotte stood and dragged Wally to the end of the room, whispering so Will could not hear. “That is enough. Please, you cannot punish him.”

  “But if he married you—”

  “I love him.”

  Wally stared, his eyes huge with surprise. “Charlotte…what did he do?”

  “Nothing.” With her eyes, she pleaded with him not to reveal her secret. “He does not know. I loved him the moment I saw him but I cannot marry him. He is leaving—he will break my heart.”

  Wally’s eyes, so like her own, blazed with frustration. “Oh, Charlotte…”

  She attempted a smile but it would not come. “It is our family’s fatal flaw: to follow our hearts no matter where it may take us. I am sorry I disappointed you.”

  “No, dear heart. I am the one who is sorry.” He stroked her hair gently. With a tired sigh, he faced Will. “Forgive me. I was not thinking clearly. I thank God you found my sister in time. I do not know what Spencer would have done to my dear girl.”

  Will looked confused by the sudden reversal. “That bastard deserves—”

  “Yes.” Wally held up a staying hand. “Yes. He thought he could have my sister any way he chose.” He sank into his chair. “And that is my fault. No doubt you know of my past?”

  “The trial? Yes—”

  “And the truth.”

  She grabbed her brother’s hand. “No.”

  Wally looked straight at Will. “I am called diseased and insane and possessed by evil because I loved a man, and I have marked Charlotte and Lucy with my own defect from birth. Blood will out, they say. And when this news gets out, that is what they will say again.” Wally turned to her, his voice breaking. “I wanted everything for you—”

  “I have everything.” She turned her back on Will, the better to ignore his presence in the face of their shame. “I have you, and the children, and Lucy and Ben.”

  Wally rocked her in his arms. “Oh, my dear heart. I am so sorry.”

  Will was quiet behind her and Charlotte moved from Wally’s embrace to face him. He stood silent and grim, but his eyes never wavered, a flame of something like determination blazing there. Determination to run, no doubt. The man would be so relieved to be away from Windmere.

  “Will, we will not discuss last night with anyone downstairs, odd as that might feel. Hugh and his family will be gone and people will inquire as to why. Let me speak to them. I am sorry for any discomfort you and your parents will feel—”

  “That’s not good enough.”

  “You must trust me in this.”

  “Wallace is right. You can’t throw away your life, your finishing schools, your friends. You belong with those people.”

  “No—”

  He turned to her brother. “Will this work? If she marries me? She’ll not be climbing the social ladder.”

  Wally sighed. “Forget all that, Will.”

  Will looked at her. She had m
isunderstood the determined look in his eye. He didn’t want to flee.

  He wanted to save her.

  She shook her head, but he came to her as if beckoned. “What if we say we’re in love? And you can file for abandonment when I leave or…we can say consummation was impossible due to my injuries.” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “Not that it’s true. I’m perfectly sound in that regard.”

  Charlotte gaped at him. What was happening? “This is ridiculous.” But Wally and Will were silent, assessing the idea. “Wally? Tell Will this is ridiculous.”

  “Charlotte, I know this isn’t your plan.” Will’s voice was gentle and placating and so unlike his usual tone, it stretched her nerves all the more. “It’s certainly not mine, but you said yourself to leave room for the unplanned.”

  “I said to leave room for whimsy and serendipity, not for thoroughly deranged notions such as yours.”

  “Will this salvage your reputation?”

  “What of your reputation?”

  He appeared bemused by the question, sharing a look with Wally. Which she did not appreciate. Not at all.

  “I’m a plant hunter, Charlotte. No one would fault me for falling in love with the most beautiful woman in London. And only my doctor knows of my injuries. A strategic whisper I’d been left unmanned—not that I have—and in time, you can marry again.”

  Wally spoke in her horrified silence. “Sit down, dear heart, you look pale. Will, if we do this—”

  “If?” she cried.

  “—it ought to happen quickly. In the next fortnight or so.”

  “I agree,” Will said.

  “And you must sleep in separate chambers,” Wally added.

  “Absolutely,” Will said quickly.

  Rather too quickly, in her opinion. Enough! She rounded on Will and lowered her voice to a whisper. “You do not want to do this. You said you wish we had never met.”

  “I didn’t mean that exactly.”

  “You did.” Her words broke and she steadied her chin against emotion. “I know you did. Besides”—she affected a cool expression—“I do not wish to marry. I do not need you to save me. This is absurd.”

  Will aimed his stare over her head.

  She drew to her full height. “I said I do not need to be saved.”

  “I say you do and so does your brother. You might listen to us for your own good.”

  Her jaw dropped. “I won’t listen.” She made for the door. “My own good—honestly! If you men wish to pretend you will decide everything, fine. I will not play the role of spectator to my own life.”

  “For God’s—listen to me.” He caught her elbow and steered her into the hall. “Why not marry? I’m leaving in August, I’ll take nothing from you.” He probed her eyes, something weakening his stare. “Is it so impossible to pretend to love me?”

  She flinched at the well-aimed words. “It is you who would never be believed in love with me, as dismissive and unnoticing as you are. See! You cannot look at me for longer than a blink. No one will believe you love me or even like me with any consistency.”

  He stepped closer, his eyes steady and blazing into hers. “I can make them believe. If I let myself, I could make even you believe. You already know I desire you.”

  Desire. Her eyes dropped to his neck. The deep red mark her lips had left on the tendon looked so vulgar. Yet at the time, she wanted to weep from the glory of tasting his skin.

  Desire…that was all. And desire wasn’t love.

  “It’s the best solution,” Will said.

  “To marry you?”

  “Yes.”

  “And sleep apart?”

  “Yes.”

  “Will we even share the same roof?”

  He frowned. “We wouldn’t have to. You might stay here. No one would know we were apart.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, needing someone’s arms about her. Of course Will would leave her. Nothing would keep him next to her, not even marriage.

  “Charlotte? Please. I can’t be responsible for this.”

  “You are not responsible.”

  “Please. Marry me.”

  His soft coaxing banded her heart and tugged. If only he were truly asking. She closed her eyes. “How long?”

  “How—? Uh…July? Or August? In time to annul before I sail.”

  August. Nearly three months with Will beside her. Could three months last her a lifetime?

  “Charlotte?” Will’s hand settled on her shoulder.

  Could she bear it? Could she marry him and watch him leave her?

  She looked into the face of the man of her dreams and there was the answer. “Yes.” The word was out of her mouth before she could stop it.

  His hand dropped from her. “I…good.” His tone was relieved, but his manner was suspicious.

  “I will marry you, and I will thank you for it.”

  He swept her face cautiously. “All right.”

  She would have her husband, her love… “But I have requirements.”

  He stood very still. Then with a quick nod of his head, he widened his stance and crossed his arms. “Yes, of course. Name them.”

  Stay with me. “Yes…I, uh…” Was she really doing this? “They are conditions, actually, which are perhaps more forceful than requirements. And they are not negotiable, but before you become too alarmed, there is only one—no, three—that I demand. I suppose ‘demands’ would be the more appropriate term if we are to—”

  “Charlotte. The conditions?”

  “Yes, right.” She clasped her hands to keep from fidgeting. “First, you must agree to talk to me.”

  “Talk?”

  “Conversation, I mean. A half hour each day and not warnings about the weather. And I should like it to be uninterrupted, and you should initiate the topic from time to time.”

  “Because?”

  She raised her brows, hoping to disguise her nervousness with annoyance. “Because that is what a wife would naturally require, and this particular conversation will grow tedious if you question every condition I set forth.”

  He pursed his lips, studying her face as if he might discover her reasoning there. Seeing nothing in her careful expression, he frowned. “Fine.”

  “Second…”

  “Second?”

  She heard Wally’s words again. She’d not forgotten a one: He loved me as I loved him, and there was not a day we let pass without telling each other that. It was in every embrace…in every good morning and good night…

  “Charlotte?”

  “I require you bid me good morning and good night. Every day. With a kiss.”

  Will blinked. “What do you mean?”

  “Exactly that.”

  He rubbed a hand over his face, mulling her demand for a thoroughly insulting amount of time.

  “Oh, honestly! It is not as if I have asked you to wear a pink pinafore and skip through Hyde Park with a hoop and stick.”

  He sighed. “All right, agreed. And third?”

  She began to speak, then had to start again. “We will sleep in the same bed.”

  “Absolutely not. What happened this morning would only happen again.”

  “And?” she asked, heartsore at his reaction.

  His mouth dropped open to speak, but no sound came out.

  Gathering the remnants of her shredded pride, she straightened. “Did you not notice I enjoyed myself? And you seemed to somewhat enjoy…that, too.” What word might she use? She really ought to consult a dictionary. Very likely she would. Later, of course.

  Will closed his eyes and expelled a harsh breath. “Of course I enjoyed that. I enjoyed it too well and I may not be able to stop myself from taking you next time.”

  Her breath caught. What a marvelous thing to say! “Are you suggesting you would force me?” she asked breathlessly.

  “No! I—no!”

  She smiled at the resurgence of his spirit. Here was the Will Repton she admired and loved. Everything was going to be all right. �
��Then there is no danger, is there? I promise to never allow you to take me, as you say. I will simply say no. So if we marry, you will not object to our sharing a bed?”

  “If we marry? We will marry and I still object. We cannot—it is—I am not an easy sleeper. I have dreams and thrash about.”

  “I know. I enjoyed the thrashing about.”

  The man actually blushed. “I dream of other things. Of…nightmares, Charlotte. I’ve flung myself from my own bed trying to escape them. I might hurt you.”

  “You will not hurt me.” Will looked so miserable, she almost surrendered. “How often do you have these dreams?”

  “Almost every night.”

  Pain crimped her heart. “Not last night.” Her voice was small with hope.

  “No, not last night.” He held her stare, and an awareness of their passionate morning seemed to flow between them.

  “I will wake you.” She straightened her shoulders. “As soon as you start dreaming. That will be better than suffering that unpleasantness. I come awake when Jacob and Abby cry all the time.”

  “Charlotte—”

  “If we are to marry—”

  “We will marry—”

  “—then I want the experience of marriage. If you insist”—she grimaced and rushed through the rest of her words—“I will remain a virgin, but I have no use for an arrangement where we are apart. You do not seem to dislike me in that way, and though I realize this is inconvenient, you say you wish to help me. I wish to be of help to you.”

  From the stubborn set of his jaw, he was obviously not yet persuaded to share her bed. “I promise to never utter romantic nonsense or say I love you if that is your fear.”

  He looked straight at her, his eyes softening with amusement. “You promise, do you? So I must promise as well?”

  She kept her chin up. Even managed a smile. “It would only be practical. And I shall endeavor to be unlovable once or twice a day so you will not be deluded into believing yourself in love.”

  He grinned, but she sensed his reluctance to do so. It did not matter. Her heart was already fluttering, celebrating. This wonderful, ungovernable man would surrender to her. She felt it. And thank God, because there was nothing she wanted more, in all the world, than to marry Will Repton.

  “And how will you make yourself unlovable to me?” Will asked.