Works of W. W. Jacobs

by Jacobs, W. W.

  Peter wouldn’t believe at fust that the old man wasn’t really the worse for liquor, ‘e was so lifelike. Many a drunken man would ha’ been proud to ha’ done it ‘arf so well, and it made ‘im pleased to think that Sam was a pal of ‘is. Him and Ginger turned and crept up behind the old man on tiptoe, and then all of a sudden he tilted Sam’s cap over ‘is eyes and flung his arms round ‘im, while Ginger felt in ‘is coat-pockets and took out a leather purse chock full o’ money.

  It was all done and over in a moment, and then, to Ginger’s great surprise, Sam suddenly lifted ‘is foot and gave ‘im a fearful kick on the shin of ‘is leg, and at the same time let drive with all his might in ‘is face. Ginger went down as if he ‘ad been shot, and as Peter went to ‘elp him up he got a bang over the ‘cad that put ‘im alongside o’ Ginger, arter which Sam turned and trotted off down the Hill like a dancing-bear.

  For ‘arf a minute Ginger didn’t know where ‘e was, and afore he found out the two men they’d seen in the gateway came up, and one of ’em put his knee in Ginger’s back and ‘eld him, while the other caught hold of his ‘and and dragged the purse out of it. Arter which they both made off up the Hill as ‘ard as they could go, while Peter Russet in a faint voice called “Police!” arter them.

  He got up presently and helped Ginger up, and they both stood there pitying themselves, and ‘elping each other to think of names to call Sam.

  “Well, the money’s gorn, and it’s ‘is own silly fault,” ses Ginger. “But wotever ‘appens, he mustn’t know that we had a ‘and in it, mind that.”

  “He can starve for all I care,” ses Peter, feeling his ‘ead. “I won’t lend ‘im a ha’penny — not a single, blessed ha’penny.”

  “Who’d ha’ thought ‘e could ha’ hit like that?” says Ginger. “That’s wot gets over me. I never ‘ad such a bang in my life — never. I’m going to ‘ave a little drop o’ brandy — my ‘ead is fair swimming.”

  Peter ‘ad one, too; but though they went into the private bar, it wasn’t private enough for them; and when the landlady asked Ginger who’d been kissing ‘im, he put ‘is glass down with a bang and walked straight off ‘ome.

  Sam ‘adn’t turned up by the time they got there, and pore Ginger took advantage of it to put a little warm candle-grease on ‘is bad leg. Then he bathed ‘is face very careful and ‘elped Peter bathe his ‘ead. They ‘ad just finished when they heard Sam coming upstairs, and Ginger sat down on ‘is bed and began to whistle, while Peter took up a bit o’ newspaper and stood by the candle reading it.

  “Lor’ lumme, Ginger!” ses Sam, staring at ‘im. “What ha’ you been a-doing to your face?”

  “Me?” ses Ginger, careless-like. “Oh, we ‘ad a bit of a scrap down Limehouse way with some Scotchies. Peter got a crack over the ‘ead at the same time.”

  “Ah, I’ve ‘ad a bit of a scrap, too,” ses Sam, smiling all over, “but I didn’t get marked.”

  “Oh!” ses Peter, without looking up from ‘is paper. “Was it a little boy, then?” ses Ginger.

  “No, it wasn’t a little boy neither, Ginger,” ses Sam; “it was a couple o’ men twice the size of you and Peter here, and I licked ’em both. It was the two men I spoke to you about last night.”

  “Oh!” ses Peter agin, yawning.

  “I did a bit o’ thinking this morning,” ses Sam, nodding at ’em, “and I don’t mind owning up that it was owing to wot you said. You was right, Ginger, arter all.”

  “Fust thing I did arter breakfast,” ses Sam, “I took that di’mond ring to a pawnshop and found out it wasn’t a di’mond ring. Then I did a bit more thinking, and I went round to a shop I know and bought a couple o’ knuckle-dusters.”

  “Couple o’ wot?” ses Ginger, in a choking voice.

  “Knuckle-dusters,” ses Sam, “and I turned up to-night at Tower Hill with one on each ‘and just as the clock was striking nine. I see ’em the moment I turned the corner — two enormous big chaps, a yard acrost the shoulders, coming down the middle of the road — You’ve got a cold, Ginger!”

  “No, I ain’t,” ses Ginger.

  “I pretended to be drunk, same as the tec told me,” ses Sam, “and then I felt ’em turn round and creep up behind me. One of ’em come up behind and put ‘is knee in my back and caught me by the throat, and the other gave me a punch in the chest, and while I was gasping for breath took my purse away. Then I started on ’em.”

  “Lor’!” ses Ginger, very nasty.

  “I fought like a lion,” ses Sam. “Twice they ‘ad me down, and twice I got up agin and hammered ’em. They both of ’em ‘ad knives, but my blood was up, and I didn’t take no more notice of ’em than if they was made of paper. I knocked ’em both out o’ their hands, and if I hit ’em in the face once I did a dozen times. I surprised myself.”

  “You surprise me,” ses Ginger.

  “All of a sudden,” ses Sam, “they see they ‘ad got to do with a man wot didn’t know wot fear was, and they turned round and ran off as hard as they could run. You ought to ha’ been there, Ginger. You’d ‘ave enjoyed it.”

  Ginger Dick didn’t answer ‘im. Having to sit still and listen to all them lies without being able to say anything nearly choked ‘im. He sat there gasping for breath.

  “O’ course, you got your purse back in the fight, Sam?” ses Peter.

  “No, mate,” ses Sam. “I ain’t going to tell you no lies — I did not.”

  “And ‘ow are you going to live, then, till you get a ship, Sam?” ses Ginger, in a nasty voice. “You won’t get nothing out o’ me, so you needn’t think it.”

  “Wot on earth’s the matter, Ginger?”

  “Nor me,” ses Peter. “Not a brass farthing.”

  “There’s no call to be nasty about it, mates,” ses Sam. “I ‘ad the best fight I ever ‘ad in my life, and I must put up with the loss. A man can’t ‘ave it all his own way.”

  “‘Ow much was it?” ses Peter.

  “Ten brace-buttons, three French ha’pennies, and a bit o’ tin,” ses Sam. “Wot on earth’s the matter, Ginger?”

  Ginger didn’t answer him.

  SENTENCE DEFERRED

  Fortunately for Captain Bligh, there were but few people about, and the only person who saw him trip Police-Sergeant Pilbeam was an elderly man with a wooden leg, who joined the indignant officer in the pursuit. The captain had youth on his side, and, diving into the narrow alley-ways that constitute the older portion of Wood-hatch, he moderated his pace and listened acutely. The sounds of pursuit died away in the distance, and he had already dropped into a walk when the hurried tap of the wooden leg sounded from one corner and a chorus of hurried voices from the other. It was clear that the number of hunters had increased.

  He paused a second, irresolute. The next, he pushed open a door that stood ajar in an old flint wall and peeped in. He saw a small, brick-paved yard, in which trim myrtles and flowering plants stood about in freshly ochred pots, and, opening the door a little wider, he slipped in and closed it behind him.

  “Well?” said a voice, sharply. “What do you want?”

  Captain Bligh turned, and saw a girl standing in a hostile attitude in the doorway of the house. “H’sh!” he said, holding up his finger.

  The girl’s cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkled.

  “What are you doing in our yard?” she demanded.

  The captain’s face relaxed as the sound of voices died away. He gave his moustache a twist, and eyed her with frank admiration.

  “Escaping,” he said, briefly. “They nearly had me, though.”

  “You had no business to escape into our yard,” said the girl. “What have you been escaping from?”

  “Fat policeman,” said the skipper, jauntily, twisting his moustache.

  Miss Pilbeam, only daughter of Sergeant Pilbeam, caught her breath sharply.

  “What have you been doing?” she inquired, as soon as she could control her voice.

  “Nothing,” said the skipper, airily, “nothin
g. I was kicking a stone along the path and he told me to stop it.”

  “Well?” said Miss Pilbeam, impatiently.

  “We had words,” said the skipper. “I don’t like policemen — fat policemen — and while we were talking he happened to lose his balance and go over into some mud that was swept up at the side of the road.”

  “Lost his balance?” gasped the horrified Miss Pilbeam.

  The skipper was flattered at her concern. “You would have laughed if you had seen him,” he said, smiling. “Don’t look so frightened; he hasn’t got me yet.”

  “No,” said the girl, slowly. “Not yet.”

  She gazed at him with such a world of longing in her eyes that the skipper, despite a somewhat large share of self-esteem, was almost startled.

  “And he shan’t have me,” he said, returning her gaze with interest.

  Miss Pilbeam stood in silent thought. She was a strong, well-grown girl, but she realized fully that she was no match for the villain who stood before her, twisting his moustache and adjusting his neck-tie. And her father would not be off duty until nine.

  “I suppose you would like to wait here until it is dark?” she said at last.

  “I would sooner wait here than anywhere,” said the skipper, with respectful ardor.

  “Perhaps you would like to come in and sit down?” said the girl.

  Captain Bligh thanked her, and removing his cap followed her into a small parlor in the front of the house.

  “Father is out,” she said, as she motioned him to an easy-chair, “but I’m sure he’ll be pleased to see you when he comes in.”

  “And I shall be pleased to see him,” said the innocent skipper.

  Miss Pilbeam kept her doubts to herself and sat in a brown study, wondering how the capture was to be effected. She had a strong presentiment that the appearance of her father at the front door would be the signal for her visitor’s departure at the back. For a time there was an awkward silence.

  “Lucky thing for me I upset that policeman,” said the skipper, at last.

  “Why?” inquired the girl.

  “Else I shouldn’t have come into your yard,” was the reply. “It’s the first time we have ever put into Woodhatch, and I might have sailed away and never seen you. Where should we have been but for that fat policeman?”

  Miss Pilbeam — as soon as she could get her breath — said, “Ah, where indeed!” and for the first time in her life began to feel the need of a chaperon.

  “Funny to think of him hunting for me high and low while I am sitting here,” said the skipper.

  Miss Pilbeam agreed with him, and began to laugh — to laugh so heartily that he was fain at last to draw his chair close to hers and pat her somewhat anxiously on the back. The treatment sobered her at once, and she drew apart and eyed him coldly.

  “I was afraid you would lose your breath,” explained the skipper, awkwardly. “You are not angry, are you?”

  He was so genuinely relieved when she said, “No,” that Miss Pilbeam, despite her father’s wrongs, began to soften a little. The upsetter of policemen was certainly good-looking; and his manner towards her so nicely balanced between boldness and timidity that a slight feeling of sadness at his lack of moral character began to assail her.

  “Suppose you are caught after all?” she said, presently. “You will go to prison.”

  The skipper shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t suppose I shall be,” he replied.

  “Aren’t you sorry?” persisted Miss Pilbeam, in a vibrant voice.

  “Certainly not,” said the skipper. “Why, I shouldn’t have seen you if I hadn’t done it.”

  Miss Pilbeam looked at the clock and pondered. It wanted but five minutes to nine. Five minutes in which to make up a mind that was in a state of strong unrest.

  “I suppose it is time for me to go,” said the skipper, watching her. Miss Pilbeam rose. “No, don’t go,” she said, hastily. “Do be quiet. I want to think.”

  Captain Bligh waited in respectful silence, heedless of the fateful seconds ticking from the mantelpiece. At the sound of a slow, measured footfall on the cobblestone path outside Miss Pilbeam caught his arm and drew him towards the door.

  “Go!” she breathed. “No, stop!”

  She stood trying in vain to make up her mind. “Upstairs,” she said. “Quick!” and, leading the way, entered her father’s bedroom, and, after a moment’s thought, opened the door of a cupboard in the corner.

  “Get in there,” she whispered.

  “But—” objected the astonished Bligh.

  The front door was heard to open.

  “Police!” said Miss Pilbeam, in a thrilling whisper. The skipper stepped into the cupboard without further parley, and the girl, turning the key, slipped it into her pocket and sped downstairs.

  Sergeant Pilbeam was in the easy-chair, with his belt unfastened, when she entered the parlor, and, with a hungry reference to supper, sat watching her as she lit the lamp and drew down the blind. With a lifelong knowledge of the requirements of the Force, she drew a jug of beer and placed it by his side while she set the table.

  “Ah! I wanted that,” said the sergeant. “I’ve been running.”

  Miss Pilbeam raised her eyebrows.

  “After some sailor-looking chap that capsized me when I wasn’t prepared for it,” said her father, putting down his glass. “It was a neat bit o’ work, and I shall tell him so when I catch him. Look here!”

  He stood up and exhibited the damage.

  “I’ve rubbed off what I could,” he said, resuming his seat, “and I s’pose the rest’ll brush off when it’s dry. To-morrow morning I shall go down to the harbor and try and spot my lord.”

  He drew his chair to the table and helped himself, and, filling his mouth with cold meat and pickles, enlarged on his plans for the capture of his assailant; plans to which the undecided Miss Pilbeam turned a somewhat abstracted ear.

  By the time her father had finished his supper she was trying, but in vain, to devise means for the prisoner’s escape. The sergeant had opened the door of the room for the sake of fresh air, and it was impossible for anybody to come downstairs without being seen. The story of a sickly geranium in the back-yard left him unmoved.

  “I wouldn’t get up for all the geraniums in the world,” he declared. “I’m just going to have one more pipe and then I’m off to bed. Running don’t agree with me.”

  He went, despite his daughter’s utmost efforts to prevent him, and she sat in silent consternation, listening to his heavy tread overhead. She heard the bed creak in noisy protest as he climbed in, and ten minutes later the lusty snoring of a healthy man of full habit resounded through the house.

  She went to bed herself at last, and, after lying awake for nearly a couple of hours, closed her eyes in order to think better. She awoke with the sun pouring in at the window and the sounds of vigorous brushing in the yard beneath.

  “I’ve nearly got it off,” said the sergeant, looking up. “It’s destroying evidence in a sense, I suppose; but I can’t go about with my uniform plastered with mud. I’ve had enough chaff about it as it is.”

  Miss Pilbeam stole to the door of the next room and peeped stealthily in. Not a sound came from the cupboard, and a horrible idea that the prisoner might have been suffocated set her trembling with apprehension.

  “H’sh!” she whispered.

  An eager but stifled “H’st!” came from the cup-board, and Miss Pilbeam, her fears allayed, stepped softly into the room.

  “He’s downstairs brushing the mud off,” she said, in a low voice.

  “Who is?” said the skipper.

  “The fat policeman,” said the girl, in a hard voice, as she remembered her father’s wrongs.

  “What’s he doing it here for?” demanded the astonished skipper.

  “Because he lives here.”

  “Lodger?” queried the skipper, more astonished than before.

  “Father,” said Miss Pilbeam.

  A horri
fied groan from the cupboard fell like music on her ears. Then the smile forsook her lips, and she stood quivering with indignation as the groan gave way to suppressed but unmistakable laughter.

  “H’sh!” she said sharply, and with head erect sailed out of the room and went downstairs to give Mr. Pilbeam his breakfast.

  To the skipper in the confined space and darkness of the cupboard the breakfast seemed unending. The sergeant evidently believed in sitting over his meals, and his deep, rumbling voice, punctuated by good-natured laughter, was plainly audible. To pass the time the skipper fell to counting, and, tired of that, recited some verses that he had acquired at school. After that, and with far more heartiness, he declaimed a few things that he had learned since; and still the clatter and rumble sounded from below.

  It was a relief to him when he heard the sergeant push his chair back and move heavily about the room. A minute later he heard him ascending the stairs, and then he held his breath with horror as the foot-steps entered the room and a heavy hand was laid on the cupboard door.

  “Elsie!” bawled the sergeant. “Where’s the key of my cupboard? I want my other boots.”

  “They’re down here,” cried the voice of Miss Pilbeam, and the skipper, hardly able to believe in his good fortune, heard the sergeant go downstairs again.

  At the expiration of another week — by his own reckoning — he heard the light, hurried footsteps of Miss Pilbeam come up the stairs and pause at the door.

  “H’st!” he said, recklessly.

  “I’m coming,” said the girl. “Don’t be impatient.”

  A key turned in the lock, the door was flung open, and the skipper, dazed and blinking with the sudden light, stumbled into the room.

  “Father’s gone,” said Miss Pilbeam.

  The skipper made no answer. He was administering first aid to a right leg which had temporarily forgotten how to perform its duties, varied with slaps and pinches at a left which had gone to sleep. At intervals he turned a red-rimmed and reproachful eye on Miss Pilbeam.