by Tim Bradford
‘Muswell Hillbilly’ 136
Muswell Stream, the 132, 133, 138, 142
Mutton Brook 263
my Gran’s ciggies 153
Myddleton, Hugh 25, 26, 33, 39
mystical powers 157
naked hippies 68
Narnia 78
national anthems 419
National Front 301
nationalism 270
Neckinger 11, 324–335, 414
Nelstone, Arthur 244–5, 246
Neolithic 12, 68, 108 (flint tools)
nervous twitches 201
New-Age synth music 12
New Den, The 353
New River 11, 13, 15, 16–39, 53, 66, 146, 147, 187, 413, 417, 425
New River Company, the 27, 28, 34
New Tunbridge Wells 117
New World Order 48
Newby, Eric 120
Newton John, Olivia 137
newts 371
NHS glasses 19, 20. 21, 325, 369
‘Nice and Easy’ 231
Nipple Erectors (Nips) 209
NME 18, 260, 320, 356
Nonsuch Palace 288
Normans 12, 327
Norse symbolism 247
North Circular Road 269, 270, 281, 393
North London Short
Story Workshop 85
North London TV villains 123
North Sea 5, 92
Northern European voodoo 407
Northerners 131, 132
Norton Folgate 194
Norwood 399, 404
Notes and Queries 436–42
Notting Hill 285
Carnival 233
Nottingham 221, 272
nuns 114, 142, 232
nurses 123, 132, 133, 142–3 (pretty)
O Brother Where Art Thou? 300
“O” gauge (the home of) 357
Oates, Captain 260
O’Brien, Flann 198
obsession with rivers 34, 140, 349
Occam, William of;
(his Razor), 76, (his Shaving Brush), 76
ocean pinks 338
offal 119
Old Deer Park 424
old maps 318, 326, 336, 359, 383, 409, 424
old men 7, 79 (in electric wheelchairs), 101, 110, 114, 117, 122, 419
Old Oak Common 245, 249
Oldman, Gary 221
Oliver Twist (Dickens) 102, 329
Olivier, Sir Laurence 341–4
omphalos 106
‘On the Famous Voyage’ 105, 119
‘One Tree Hill’ 345–6
online dream analyst 3, 20, 21, 49, 50, 74, 137
‘Only way is up’ 62
Ono, Yoko 152
optimistic-pessimism 87
Orb, the 144
Ordnance Survey Maps 132, 424
Orwell, George 354
otters 119
Oval Cricket Ground 415
Owen, Malcolm 215
Owen, Robert 228
oxygenation 376
oysters 90
Paddington 22, 210
Paganism 5, 9, 76, 90, 226, 257–8, 310
offerings 109
stag night 168
Page, Jimmy 24
Paice, Ian 403–4
Pancras Wells 109
Pankhurst, Emmeline 238
panty-liner retrieval unit 374
Paradise 15
Parrrpppp-ee-oowww rarrch-honk-blaaaaa! 201
Parr’s Ditch 242, 250, 423
Passport to Pimlico 405
Paxman, Jeremy 76
Peabody Trust, the 72, 126, 220
Peasants’ revolt 263
pebbles 387
Peck, Gregory 351
Peck, the 344–54, 355, 414
Peckham 349
Peckham Rye Common 347–8
pendulum 143, 145, 147, 149
penis-shaped helmets 190, 192
Pepys, Samuel 327, 339, 354
Petrocelli 40–1
pheromonal odours 136
Phoenix Café 400, 410
photography magazines 287
Picasso, Pablo 90
Pickwick Papers, the 102, 232
pie and mash shops 84
Piecemeal Society, the 370
pigeons 40, 84 (dead)
pig’s intestines 27
Pimlico 219
Pingu 35, 36
piss 28 (in a river), 35 (heads), 69 (-stained towerblocks ), 107, 127, 152 (odours), 209 (smell of), 335, 373, 384
pissedory 326
Pitt, Brad 171
plague 350
Plantagenets 57
Playboy 18
Pleasance, Donald 106, 109
pleasure gardens 107, 115, 118
poetry 62, 106, 140, 214 (dour Yorkshire)
Pogles Wood 101
Pogues, the 113, 209
pointlessness of tennis, the 302
poltergeist activity 82
police 113, 122–3, 162, 190, 192, 193, 195, 198 (oppression), 234 (violence), 249, 322, 425
Police, the 207
Policemen in little rowing boats (underground network of) 198
Pollock, Jackson 84, 216
pollution 335
pool 109, 396–7
Pope, the 340
porn
(literature, French), 249 (mags), 18, 20
Portnoy’s Complaint 136
Portobello Market 222
positive thinking 83, 87, 88, 89
postmen 268
post-punk feminist bands 257
Praed, Michael 406
prams 8, 70, 83
Pretenders, the 215
pretty nurses 142, 143
primary sedimentation 375
Prime Minister 300
primordial jelly 90
prog rock 145, 375
proletarian revolution 65
prostitutes 112
protests (anti-global capitalism) 191
Prozac 258
Prussian blues 71
psychic 35 (map), 173 (palm reader), 327
psychoactive 55 (funguses), 357 (toads)
psycho-geographic buffer zone 83
pubs 7, 28, 84, 93, 98, 106–21, 135, 137, 138, 232, 250, 266, 318, 352, 355, 396–7 (opening hours), 402, 415, 424
puddles 67, 329, 330
Punch 331, 332
punk 5, 92, 175–81, 204–21, 281
punk-reggae bollocks with helium vocals 207
Purple Tuesday 196
Purves, Peter 187, 188
Pymme’s Brook 150, 425
Q 62
Quaggy River 425
quasi-Egyptian mausoleums 226
Quinn, Niall 66
rabbit (how to skin a) 192
rabies 139
Race, Roy 153
racist van drivers 295
radiation 13
Rafferty, Gerry 170
railway 61, 70 (arches), 109, 111, 147, 150, 276, 277
rain 20, 52, 230, 418, 419
Raleigh, Sir Walter 367, 400, 410
ravens 247, 313, 367
Ravensbourne 367, 414
Raynes Park 285, 286, 287, 295, 297, 300
real ale 36, 118
Rebel, The 98
Reclaim the Streets 193
Record Breakers 54, 85
Red Stripe 114, 201, 424
Reed, Lou 137
Reggae 71, 213
Reich, Steve 400
reiki 385
reincarnation action 226
rejection (by publishers) 22
relativity, theory of 380
religion 4, 18, 61
reservoirs 29, 137, 394
revolution 66
Revolver 291
Rice, Anneka 135
Richard the Lionheart, King 166–7
Richmond Park 298
Rickman, Alan 171, 200
ring main system 32
riots 7 (of 1968), 149
‘Rising Damp’ 106
Ritzy Bar Niteclub 272, 356
river goddess 256
<
br /> river of punk 204–221
river of the dead 224–39
river of wells (Fleet) 104–21
rivers (as boundaries), 17 (of beer), 55, 71 (of dub), 71 (of piss), 111
Roach, William 249
Rocque, John 54, 97, 142, 147, 331, 359, 409, 424
Rogue’s Well 360
Romans 12, 188, 189, 190, 192, 197, 199, 327, 354, 367
Rose Theatre, the 341–4
Rosetti, Dante Gabriel 90
Rotherhithe Mill Streams 336–340
Rotten, Johnny 207, 221
rotting heads of traitors 27
Rough Trade Records 213
Rourke, Mickey 335
rowing clubs 299
‘Roxanne’ 207
Royal family 168–9
Rugby 229 (League), 254
(Union)
‘Rule Britannia’ 252
rum and black 208, 231
Rupert the Bear 18, 27, 234
rural 132, 150
landscape 404, 408
Ruskin, John 303
sacred 48 (spring), 57
(plants), 170
(geography), 177
(sites) 310 (spring)
sad-eyed cockney
princesses 331
Sadler’s Wells 116
Salvation Army 67
Sartre, Jean-Paul 90
Satanists 110
sausages 139, 314
‘Save All Your Kisses For Me’ 348
Saxons 12, 50, 58, 83, 95, 98, 142, 188, 199, 354, 389 (with high-pitched voices), 400, 406
Scalextric 102
school (on course of river) 66, 293, 351, 404
Scooby Doo 232, 372
Scott, Captain 260, 292
scrofula 142
Seasonal Affective
Disorder 81–2
Second Summer of Love, the 356
secret policeman’s bar 122–3
Sedgwick, Edie 424
Segal, George 262
semen (in large container in afterlife) 140
Serpentine, the 215
seventies football card
collection 95
sewers 22, 73, 76, 120, 360, 369, 370, 421, 423
sex 84, 135, 153, 227, 252, 258, 260, 280, 288, 315, 357
sex File 18, 20
sex goddess 263
Sex Pistols, the 218, 301
sexual repression
(Victorian style) 226, 258, 353
Shakespeare, William 239, 341–2
sheepskin coat 101, 134
shellfish 109, (half-eaten), 338, 367
Shepherds Bush Market 172–3
shifty-looking hot
tempered adolescents 222
shit 11, 27, 73, 120, 188, 220, 248, 268, 326, 338, 369–79, 394
Shoreditch 191–2
shouty blokes 409
Sikes, Bill 334
Silk Stream 263
Simonon, Paul 216
Singing Ringing Tree, The 232
Singleton, Valerie 187
‘Sister Ray’ 208
‘Sitting By the Riverside’ 141
sixties, the 58, 148, 151, 270, 373, 424
ska 419
skin cancer 209
Skol Super 35, 407
sky 60, 62, 81, 92, 147, 387, 425
‘Slave to the Rhythm’ 252
slipper baths 353
smashed cars 70
small-town French
beauty 249
Smith, Mark E. 213, 214, 215
Smith, TV 210
Smithfield 106, 119, 120
‘Smoke on the Water’ 403
Smollet, Tobias 248
Snarzelweckumfuzz, Mr 102
snogging 10, 14
socio-urinary historians 111
Soho 28
‘Some Lost Rivers of London’ 11, 189, 205
Soundtracks, Epic 208
soup 296, 407
South America 222, 244, 394
South Bank Centre 328
South Harrow Market 172
Southwark Park 336
Spa Gardens 117
space-time continuum
(like in Back to the Future) 384
Sparks, the 266
spatulas 158
Special Brew 33, 35, 55, 187, 193 (visions), 199, 370, 410
Spitalfields 199, 363
Spitfire (beer) 118
spliffs 35, 144, 247, 349, 356
Spring Place Estate 115
springs 104–21, 138, 226, 310, 316
squat blond blokes 112
St Elmo’s Fish Bar 249, 253
St John, Knights of 220, 323, 333
St John’s Wood 158
St Pancras Gardens 110
St Pancras Station 47
St Paul’s 199
St Saviour’s Dock 335
St Bartholomew’s
Church 120
St Bride’s Well 120
St Chad’s Well 112
St Pancras Church 106, 109, 110, 323
Stamford Bridge 238
Stamford Brook 242–253, 297, 414, 423
standing water 56, 58, 146, 149, 325, 329
Staples Corner 274–5
Star Trek 64
statuesque blond women 166
Stepney 362
Stevens, Shaking 158
Stiff Little Fingers 213
Sting 207
stink glacier 136
Stockhausen, Karl Heinz 181
Stoke Newington 14, 21, 28, 29, 32, 33, 67, 201–2, 299, 386, 424–6
stone circle 60, 61
Stone, Oliver 300
Stonebrdge Park 276, 277, 278
storm drain 121
Stranglers, the 219, 220
Stratford 73
stream of ideas 142
Streatham 312, 317
Strongbow 14
Stroud Green 138
Strummer, Joe 211
Stukeley, William 47
submarine (miniature – in Donald Pleasance’s bloodsteam) 106
suburban melancholy 267, 286, 287, 289
suburbia 131, 132
Suffragettes 238
‘Summertime Blues’ 338
Sunderland FC 66
sun-dried tomatoes 315
supermarket trolleys (in rivers) 294, 392
superstitions 106, 182–4
Sutherland, Donald 227
swans, special
relationship with Queen 168
Sweden’s diplomatic
triumphs 325
Swedish DIY fascism 281–2
Sweeney, The 58, 257
Swell Maps 181, 208
Swift, Frank 126
‘Swinging Safari’ 348
Swiss Cottage 158
Symbionese Liberation
Army 159
synthetic-organic tarmac 353
‘tagging the mullet’ 406
tai chi 10, 14, 22, 384
Talgutt, CF 139–41, 144
Tao te ching 383, 424
Taoiseach 262
tattooed shouty
longhairs 118
tea 58, 356
Tebbit, Norman 327
Teenage Fanclub 298
Templars 58, 75, 219, 321, 333
Tennents Super 35, 36, 55, 62, 93, 167–8, 277, 338, 405, 424
tennis 301–2, 338
Terry and June 267
Thames 22, 45, 99, 105, 121, 199, 245, 250, 251, 252, 264, 286, 309, 319, 327, 334, 355, 360, 377, 388, 421
Thames Water 32, 52, 305–8, 310, 379, 404, 421
Thatcher, Margaret 87, 291, 300, 327, 328, 396
Thatcherite bastards 191, 335, 342
thick floppy-haired ex-public schoolboys 365–6
Thin Lizzy 20, 403
third baritone 337, 347–8
Thomas, Dylan 234
Thompson, Jeff 210
Thor 246
Thorney Island 156, 165
Third Man, The 77
Tibetan Book of the Dead 35
‘Tie a Yellow Rib
bon
Round the Old Oak
Tree’ 348
time travel 167, 187, 349
tiny Raquel Welch clones
in miniaturised submarines 384
‘Tomorrow Never
Knows’ 35
Tooting Common 312
Tooting Myth Cycle, the 311
Tottenham 27, 93
Tottenham Hotspur FC 45, 65, 148, 149, 150
tower blocks 69, 70, 109, 321, 330, 351, 354, 355, 373, 409, 425
tractors 6
traffic 274, 278–9, 297, 393
travel writing 22, 139, 327, 418
trees 263, 290, 292, 299, 347, 387, 392,
trendy vicars 321
Trent, River 4
triviality (of seaching for lost rivers in the context of major world events) 415
trombone 419
trousers pulled up to the nipples 229
Tubular Bells 77
Tudorbethan architecture 110, 266–7
Tulse Hill 410
tunnels 121, 152, 417
Turkish grocers 29
Twilight Zone, The 318
Two Ronnies, The 236
Tyburn (Tyebourne) 11, 154–71, 260, 414, 423
Tyburn Stream 214
U2 115, 346
UK Subs 219
Ulster Unionists (Tokyo Branch) 162
ultra-competitive second baritone 347
Untitled III 412
Universe, the 4, 18, 151
(interdependent one-ness of), 350
(unexpected beauty of), 366
urban biodiverse parkways 193
urban pioneers 33
urine 40, 65, 73, 107, 111, 127, 373, 384
USA 98, 101
used car depot 147
USSR 329
Usual Suspects, The 313
utilising Black Hole
Technology 349
Val the barmaid 94
Vale of Health,
Hampstead 108
‘Vale Royal’ 106
Vauxhall 399
vibrant earth juices 258
vicars’ wives 110
Victoria 287
Victoria Park, Hackney 72, 419
Victorians 12, 14, 27, 29, 32, 48, 56 (department stores), 67, 68
(do-gooders), 70, 76, 109 (public urinals), 111 (crazed
enthusiasts), 115, 132, 134, 139–40, 148, 226, 232–235 (urinals) 258, 277, 303, 331–2
(bric-á-brac), 334, 337, 348 (ironwork), 351, 353 (depraved craziness of), 422, 423
Vikings 12, 50, 83, 84, 90, 95, 98, 142, 199, 246
villages (London as a collection of) 410, 428
violence 212
Visionary writings 139
visions 193 (specialbrew fuelled) , 347–348
Wade, Virginia 301
Wakeman, Rick 145
Walbrook 11, 186–200, 413
Wales 67
Walker, Max 210
Walters, Doug 210
Walthamstow 27, 80–102, 287, 297, 393 (dog track), 396–7
Wandle, River 45, 303, 414
Wandle Liberation Army 303
Wandsworth 309, 320, 377, 423
wankers 31
water cycle 373
water gremlins 116
watercress beds 71, 172–3
