The Groundwater Diaries

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The Groundwater Diaries Page 37

by Tim Bradford


  electric guitar 281

  electricity pylons 293, 394

  electro-magnetic currents 13, 384

  Elephant and Castle 330

  Elephant and Castle

  Mean Time 380

  Elizabeth I, Queen 65, 345, 367, 400, 411

  emu people, the 363

  Energy 157 (lines), 383–90

  Enfield 23

  England/UK/GB all mixed up thing, the 351

  English Punk Heritage 204, 206

  enlightenment 386–7

  entrepreneurial

  inadequacy 222–3

  Environment Agency 86, 96, 98, 293

  Epping Forest 383, 387

  Eric Random and the Bedlamites 22

  ESB 252

  Escape to Victory 77

  Essex 84, 361, 383, 389

  estate agent telepathy 316

  Etymologists (of Bishopsgate Library) 436–42

  European arty films 262

  evil water spirits 37

  evolutionary consciousness 397

  Exmouth Market EC1 106

  extra-strong lager 33, 35, 36, 93, 107, 109, 143, 277, 303, 327, 330, 335, 338, 370, 384, 405, 405, 410

  factoid 86

  faded Homer Simpson

  comedy towel 268

  fairies 263

  failed love affair 139

  Falcon Brook 11, 308–25, 414

  Falcon, The (superhero) 318

  Fantastic Voyage 106

  Fanthorpe, UA 106

  farmers 5, 6, 10, 119, 328, 336 (tan), 339

  (farmer’s fingers)

  Farringdon 268

  fat

  (-arsed/tiny-bodied dead people), 30

  (blokes), 84, 93 (lads with long sideburns), 22

  (rich, red-faced landowners), 32

  FBI 370

  fear of rivers 422

  female sexuality 258, 277, 353

  feminism 268, 424

  feminist water nymphs 300

  feng-shui 13

  fertility rites 189

  fickle 18th-century

  hypochondriacs 107

  fighting 139, 212, 349, 406

  Finsbury Park 8, 12, 18, 26, 27, 30, 31, 63, 81, 299, 418, 425

  Fire Engines, the 5

  fish 32 (dead), 95

  (offcuts), 100 (raw), 225, 328, 336, 377, 394

  fish and chips 349, 355

  fishermen 48

  Fitzcarraldo 394

  Fitzstephen, William 118

  Flashing Blade, the 187, 336, 407

  Fleet (Holebourne) 11, 13, 22, 104–21, 141, 413, 421–7

  flies 388, 390

  floods 5, 20, 86, 96

  floppy-haired country rockers 253

  flow rates 427

  Football 10, 14, 28, 29, 45–77, 45–77, 106, 107, 126, 143, 238, 268, 316, 350, 366, 378, 386, 391, 404

  Ford, Henry 223

  Foucault’s Pendulum 77

  Fox, Michael J. 297

  Foxton, Bruce 215

  France 140, 249

  Franz Ferdinand,

  Archduke 65

  Fred the Cat 238–9

  free jazz 22, 137, 266

  free-jazz pool 396–7

  French accordion music 95

  Frognal Rise 262

  Fulham Cemetery 238

  Fulham FC 45

  fumes 113

  fun! 87

  funerals 229, 230

  fuzzbox 202, 429

  fuzzy whiskers 32, 139

  Gainsborough, Thomas 6

  Gang of Four 260, 269

  Ganges River 6, 257

  gardens 107, 115, 127

  gargantuan Johnsonian turds 248

  gas holders 147, 362, 394

  gelled mullets 396

  Genocidal Marsupial 365

  geo-cultural boredom factor 286

  Georgians 12, 29, 362

  Germanic deity, a less than fantastic 246

  Germans 126, 370, 424

  ghosts 92, 232, 233, 334

  giant suburban turkey god 294

  Gillan, Ian 403–4

  Gillespie Park 60–1

  Gilmore, Gary 210

  Gilmour, Gary 210

  girls in French waitress

  outfits 406

  gizzard 111

  glamorous barmaids 84, 108

  Glastonbury festival 359

  Glaswegian deer 298

  Glitter Band, the 320

  global finance

  (alternative system) 365–6

  global warming 9

  GMT 380

  God 18, 90, 168, 387

  ‘God Save the Queen’ 351

  Goddess 6, 7, 65, 115, 257, 263, 265, 267, 270, 274, 280

  Godwin the Hermit 209

  ‘Going Underground’ 215

  Golden Bough, The 36

  Golders Hill Park 266

  goldfish 236, 378

  golf 257, 279, 294, 347, 391, 394

  Good Friday Agreement 262

  Good Life, The 267

  Good Queen Bess

  fetishists 346

  graffiti 53, 289, 346, 392, 408

  Grand Union Canal 227

  Graveney, the 425

  gravestones 67, 145, 227, 230

  Gray, Eddie 97

  Great Fire of London 119, 327

  Green Man 190

  Greer, Germaine 273

  Griffin, Sid 430

  Grossmith, Weedon 244–5, 246

  Guinness 8, 319, 356, 396–7

  Guinness Book of Record 54, 85, 370, 425

  Guinness, Alec 319

  guitars 402, 403, 413

  Gustavus Adolphus 325

  Gwynn, Nell 252

  Gipsy Hill 402

  Hacka (Saxon chieftain) 50, 388

  Hackney 26, 47, 54, 55, 68, 69, 71, 78, 385, 388, 409, 419

  Hackney Brook 34, 38, 44–77, 79, 388, 413, 417, (pub walk) 432–3

  Hackney Downs 69

  Hackney Marshes 71, 99

  Hackney Wick 55, 72, 260

  Hades 119

  haiku poetry 387–94

  Hallal Brook 419

  Hammer Man 246

  Hammersmith 250, 251, 297

  Hammersmith Creek 252

  Hampstead 105, 207

  Hampstead Heath 261, 263

  Hampstead Heath Spring 108

  Hampstead Wells 107

  hand-printed wallpaper 252

  Hanger Lane 278

  Hanwell bedroom

  computer shop 140

  hard blokes with dogs 108–9

  Hardcore London

  feminist river walkers 258, 259, 260, 269, 273, 394, 412, 424

  Hare Krishna food

  delivery van 23

  Harper, Charlie 219

  Harris, David 142, 146

  Harrison, George 88

  ‘Harvest for the World’ 231

  Hastings, Battle of 327

  Hawaiian shirts 310, 326

  Headon, Topper 216

  healing 105–21 (springs), 138 (the world), 384–386

  Heath, Ted 263

  Heaven 98, 141

  heavy metal 403–4

  helicopters 322

  Hell 98

  Hemingway, Ernest 8, 252

  Hendon 268

  Henmania 301–2

  Henry V, King 166–7

  Henry VIII, King 288, 367

  Hermit Bridge, Kilburn 209

  Herne Hill 406, 407

  Herne the Hunter 407

  heroin 215, 253

  Herzog, Werner 394

  ‘hidden stuff’ 48

  Hidebourne/Hidaburna

  (Falcon Brook) 321

  high-density housing

  projects 70

  Highbury 7, 12, 30, 32, 37, 47, 63, 138, 248, 263

  Highbury Stadium 47, 63, 75

  Highbury Vale 31, 55, 425

  Highgate 8, 138, 142

  Hill, Christopher 325

  hippies 13, 250, 347, 385

  history 75, 327–328, 399, 400, 411, 420
<
br />   History of Muswell Hill, The 132

  history plaques 354

  Hitchcock, Alfred 253

  Hoxton 191

  Hogarth, William 243

  Holborn 105

  hole in pan-dimensional

  space-time 289, 300, 333

  Holebourne (Fleet) 104–21

  Holloway 31, 47, 53, 55, 323

  Holloway, Stanley 319

  Holmes, Sherlock 159, 170–1

  holy river 257, 278

  holy well 116, 226, 330

  homeless people 77

  Honey Brook 317

  Honor Oak Park 345

  Hood, Robin 114, 405

  horned god 168, 206, 407

  Hornsey 23, 31, 32, 425, 143–6,

  Hornsey Wood 81, 425

  horseshit 162, 254, 390

  Hospital for Tropical

  Diseases 109

  Houndsditch 199

  house prices 78

  Huguenots 361

  Humber, River 50

  Hungarian barmaids 356

  Hunter, Holly 300

  hurdler’s knee 76, 228, 229, 230

  Hurst, Geoff (Sir) 171

  Hyde Park 214

  ice cream 66, 68, 329

  Icke, David 170

  Idol, Billy 219

  IKEA 281–2

  ‘I’m A Wonderful Thing’ 231

  I Spy Book of Trees 297

  Imbolc 271

  IMF 302

  immortality (Victorian style) 226

  Imperial War Museum 326

  inadequate explanations

  of the multi-faceted nature of time 190

  incontinence 111

  insomnia 13

  internal navigation systems 207

  international property firms 341–2

  invisible boundaries 17

  Iran-Iraq war 348

  Ireland 385

  Irish 65, 84 (music), 113

  (women), 153 (pubs), 341 (workmen), 361

  Ironside, Edward 279

  Isle of Dogs 362

  Isledon 58

  Islington 26, 33, 34, 58, 75, 401

  Islington lands 115

  Islington spa 117

  Italian women 106

  ‘I’ve Changed My Address’ 214

  Ivimey, Alan 11, 189, 205, 443

  J18 Protests 193

  Jack Straw’s Castle 206, 263

  Jackson, Glenda 262, 263

  Jacob’s Island 327, 334

  Jags, the 216

  Jam, the 214, 215

  Jamaicans 411

  Jamaican grandads 8, 62, 402

  ‘James Bond Theme’ (3rd Baritone style) 348

  James I, King 21, 22, 25, 67

  James, Sid 319, 323

  Janus 19

  Japanese tourists 380

  Japanese busker 429

  Jaruzelski, General 282

  jazz (Hogarthian) 243

  JCB digger-type thing 57

  Jehovah’s Witnesses 14, 38

  jellied eels 90, 91, 98, 99, 100, 194 (jellied eels from outer space)

  jelly 296

  Jerk, The 167

  Jerome, Jerome K. 220

  ‘Jerusalem’ 351

  Jews 361

  jogging 152–3, 251, 254–5

  Johnny (and Jemima)

  come-latelies 184

  Johnson, Samuel 7, 106, 248, 253, 254, 314, 354, 394 (ghost of)

  Jones, Grace 252

  Jonson, Ben 105, 119

  Joshua Tree, The 346

  Joy Division 208, 231, 238

  Joyce, James 90

  Joyce, William 419

  jujitsu 419

  Kamasutra, The 338

  Kawasaki 143, 145

  Keats’ house 108

  kebabs 102

  Kendall, Kenneth 135

  Kennedy, John F. 291

  Kensal Green Cemetery 226

  Kensit, Patsy 249

  Kent, Nick 320

  Kentish Town 105

  Kerouacian adventures 385

  Kestrel Super 35, 36

  Kid Creole and the Coconuts 231

  Kidman, Nicole 90, 100

  kids 67, 127, 373, 402

  Kilburn 206. 208

  Kiley, Bob 370

  ‘King of Snake’ 413

  King, Jon 260, 269

  kingfishers 96, 98, 292

  King’s Cross 105, 112, 328

  Kingsland Road, Dalston 191

  Kinks, the 132, 133, 136, 137, 141, 146, 150

  Knights of ‘Sinjun’ 321

  Knightsbridge 215

  Konk Studios 146

  Korg MS10 synthesiser 400–5, 412

  Krays, the 10 (Reggie), 361, 414

  Kyoto (Climate Change Protocol) 98

  La Motta, Jake 182

  Labour Party 263, 419

  Ladbroke Grove 10, 210, 233

  lakes of urine 335, 430

  Lambeth 329, 361

  landscape 194

  lard power 63

  Latin 195

  laughing skull (visions of a) 347

  laundrettes 58, 145, 163, 423

  Lavender Hill Mob, The 319, 323

  Lea, (Lee) river 47, 50, 73, 83, 93, 144, 150, 388, 394

  Leary, Timothy 35, 226

  leathery old blokes 289

  ‘Leave the Capitol’ 213

  Led Zeppelin 24, 322

  Leeds United FC 22, 97, 112, 182–4, 366

  Leg of Mutton Pond 265

  Leicester Square 182

  Lenin 113

  Lennon, John 35, 152

  leopardskin leggings 272, 276

  leprechauns 385

  ‘Let Me Be’ 150

  ‘Let’s Build a Car’ 208

  ‘Letter to Robin’ 143

  leylines 198

  Leyton Orient FC 45, 98

  Leyton Wingate FC 96

  Leytonstone 22

  Lib-Lab Pact 301

  libraries 53, 86, 286, 320, 405, 420

  light romantic comedy 190

  Lillee, Dennis 210

  Limehouse 358–64

  Lincolnshire 8, 9, 10, 112, 119, 140, 210, 230, 287, 301

  Lipman, Maureen 132

  Lithuanian suits 67

  Little Dorrit 57, 140

  Little Wormwood Scrubs 234

  Live and Dangerous 403

  Livingstone, Ken 370–1, 425

  lobsters 78, 79, 102

  Lock Stream 335

  Lofty (EastEnders) 132

  ‘London Calling’ 205

  London Scottish RUFC 134

  ‘London Song’ 137

  London Spa (gardens) 117

  ‘London Traffic’ 215

  London Transport

  (Estates) 184–5

  London Under London,

  Trench and Hillman 369

  London Zoo 170

  Long Ryders, the 430

  ‘Looking Through Gary

  Gilmore’s Eyes’ 210

  Lord, John 403–8

  Lords Cricket Ground 158

  Lordship Park,

  Tottenham 148

  Lost Rivers of London, The (Barton) 34, 47, 443

  Lost Rivers of London, The (Bush) 264

  Loughborough Junction 409, 410

  love-making manual 195

  LSD 35

  Lubricate Your Living Room 5

  luck 182 (magical rituals for), 183

  lucky barmaid 117

  lucky heather 162, 402

  lucky pubs 106–7, 183

  Ludgate Monthly 244

  Mace, Jem (The Swaffham Gypsy) 140

  MacGowan, Shane 209, 212

  MacMillan, Harold 266

  mad country folk 13

  magic 10, 76, 122, 260, 275, 407

  magic Beatles plate 170

  magic galleons 135

  Magic Orange 401, 407

  magnificent goth chick 202

  Major, John 51, 291, 300, 418

  Man With Two Brains, The 167

  Manchester United FC 118

 
; manhole 421

  manic depressive 7

  Manor House 28, 66

  Mansion House 197

  Manze’s Pie and Mash shop 100, 331

  Mappin and Webb 197

  maps 9, 11, 14, 23, 30, 35, 45, 326, 336, 359, 389, 409, 424

  Market Rasen 9

  Marquess Estate 33

  marshes 338, 347

  martial arts 19, 72, 139, 183, 419

  Martin Chuzzlewit 250

  Martin, Steve 178

  Marvel Comics 246

  Marx, Karl 114

  Marxist football tans 150

  masochistically patriotic

  music hall songs 261

  masons 65, 72, 76, 177, 186, 198, 410

  Matlock, Glen 221

  Mayday 132, 190

  maypole 191, 192

  McCartney, Paul 151, 402

  McDowell, Malcolm 190

  McGregor, Ewan 221

  McKellen, Sir Ian 341–2

  McLaren, Malcom 218, 220–1

  McWhirter, Norris 55, 85, 187

  meat 119–20, 273

  medicinal herbs 61

  medico-surgical

  procedures 161

  medieval 334

  mediocre watercolours 140

  Meek, Joe 56

  Meet the Ancestors 194

  melancholia 122, 146

  melancholic downbeats 83

  Melly, George 243

  Merton Abbey 99

  Metropolitan Board of Works 32

  Metropolitan Free

  Drinking Fountain Association 28

  Middle Ages 68 (brothels), 119, 190, 335

  Middle class 226, 299

  (hip hop kid), 361

  Midlands, the 139

  Midnight Express 134

  Mile End 323, 360

  Military Industrial complex, the 45

  Mill River 97

  Millennium Dome 380–1

  Milligan, Spike 62

  Millwall FC 45, 353

  miracles 106, 118

  Miro, Joan 90

  Mirren, Helen 190, 221, 300

  Mithras, temple of 189, 195, 197, 198, 199, 250

  Mockney villains 257

  Model railway shop 296, 357

  Modernists (those bastards) 29, 148, 174

  Molby, Jan 180

  ‘Molly Malone’ 430

  monks 333, 334, 336, 338, 339

  Montgomery, Field

  Marshall 328

  Monument 189

  Moonlight Club, the 207–8

  Moore, Roger 159

  morbid stuff about funerals 230–1

  Morecombe & Wise 236

  Morden Priory 292

  morphing machine 380

  Morris, William 81, 90, 92, 98, 99, 100, 138, 252

  Morrissey 93

  Moselle River 45, 130–151, 413

  Mossy Well, the 138, 143

  Mother Nature 265, 280

  ‘Mother’s All Funked Up’ 356

  moustaches 27, 139

  Mozart 218, 305–6

  Mr Byrite 123

  muggers 69, 152–3, 265

  Munich 1860 182

  murder 143

  murky water 408

  muscular Christians 139

  Museum of London 68

  Music Lovers, The 262

  Muswell Hill 131, 132, 136, 137, 138, 142, 143, 272, 297

 

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