Requiem

by London Saint James

  “It’s not real, you know.” Cayden murmured against my throat, his mouth pressed against my skin. “The fame is not real. It is only an allusion, smoke, mirrors, and lights. Fame, it is a flash and nothing more. It’s not who I am.”

  “Um….”

  “This is real.” He took my hand and pressed it to his face again. “This is substantial.” He skimmed his nose across my collarbone. “And this is beyond any and all expectation of me, being here with you.”

  I started to protest. “But—”

  “Winter.” Cayden took my face between his strong hands again. “You are beautiful, not broken. Everything about you holds me, captures me, and completes me in ways I can never even begin to explain. I don’t want just anyone. I want you, Winter. You are what I want, what I need, what I have been waiting for. Why can you not believe that? You are perfect. How can you not see that?”

  “I….”

  “You need to see who you are to me. You need to see who I am.” Cayden moved closer, keeping my face secure within the palms of his hands. “This is who I am,” he said as his mouth pressed firmly to my lips.

  Cayden kissed me without hesitation, lacking mercy. I had no will to stop him. His hands tangled in my hair. He pulled my face forward, securing me against his face with his hand at the back of my neck, cupping my neck, massaging my neck, urging me to stay. I shivered when his other arm enclosed around my waist, tightly. Cayden had taken possession of me.

  I draped my arms around his neck and tucked my fingers into his hair, feeling the sweet sensation of his lips moving with mine. I gasped, parted my lips and with a moan of pleasure I experienced his warm breath in my mouth. I felt his tongue moving in familiar motions, dancing with mine. It was a long dance. A dance I missed only now knowing how much I missed this. As impossible as it may be, I missed him.

  I became aware of a tearing desire shudder over every portion of my flesh. My hands moved to his face, finding purchase. It felt as if I would burst from my skin if I did not have him. Every molecule within my body knew this, knew him. The raw need for him burned so much so that this feeling, while reminiscent, was almost terrifying.

  Cayden’s tongue, his taste, ran through my senses like a flash flood. I could not contain myself. My hands made their way down his neck, over his strong shoulders, feeling his biceps, his chest. In a fevered pitch, he kissed me with a sense of desperation, harder, longer, with fire raging from beneath his skin. We burned with desire for each other. Within seconds the flames of desire consumed us. More powerful than anything I had experienced in so very long. It was painful, acutely so.

  I craved every part of Cayden. I needed to feel his body on every inch of my body. I wanted all of him. I welded my body against his and reveled in the strong hard line of him. My heartbeat increased. It thrummed beneath my breasts and beneath my skin with inflamed palpitations. The beat, bringing me to life with each thump. With each hammer of my heart something grew. It gave way to the rapid heat and pounding desire. This pounding became evident in my throat, in my wrists, and even between my legs.

  Cayden released me for a moment. He gazed at me, breathless. His chest heaved with the effort of gaining air. Need radiated from his body only to find mine.

  “Winter,” he whispered.

  Even within the pale blue hue emanating from the alarm clock I saw the scorching fire of cerulean blue lash out from his eyes, burning into my eyes. It was me. I finally saw myself. My eyes melted into his eyes. I grabbed at his shirt. My heart cried out for him. My body hungered for him.

  “Winter, I have dreamed of nothing but you,” he whispered.

  “Please,” I said, “I need you. I want you, Cayden.”

  Cayden ripped his T-shirt over his head and brought the beauty of his muscular chest into view. The blue glow of the clock skipped across him. I was enthralled within the rapture of his perfect skin. My hands slid over the surface of his chest, down the length of his washboard stomach, and shook with remembrance of my past life. My past and my future had met.

  My eyes feasted. For I had been a woman starved. Cayden is glorious, I thought as my lips found his chest. I kissed the firmness of him, the smooth line of his throat. My tongue needed to taste him. I licked his neck, allowing my tongue to follow his jaw line to his ear. I took his earlobe into my mouth then began whispering his name.

  “Cayden….”

  Cayden shivered when my tongue outlined his earlobe.

  “Again, say my name again,” he requested.

  My mouth kissed down his neck. My nose pressed into the curve of his neck and shoulder. I took in the scent of his skin, basking in it before I moved my lips to his chin, to his mouth, forming the words and releasing them again.

  “Cayden, Cayden, Cayden….”

  His name felt right as I freed it from my tongue. Searing his name into my soul, allowing the vibration of his name to buzz across his lips then reverberate back onto mine. There seemed to be electricity between us, sparking between our bodies in each point in which we connected, mouth, hands, chest, legs. It was tangible. Familiar.

  Cayden kissed me, pulled back, and said, “Again, Winter.”

  “Cayden.” I complied and kissed him in return. No doubting who he was.

  “Winter.” He breathed my name before he molded his mouth to mine.

  He kissed me deeper, establishing the burn of my name and his name into the depths of my soul. Cayden’s hands were at my shoulders, my chin, raising my face so his lips could nuzzle my neck. His teeth graze over my soft flesh where he bit softly. He sucked with a gentle motion, encompassing the entirety of my flesh into goose bumps. His tongue licked the stinging flesh of the spot he just bit, the spot he just sucked. Cayden ran the tip of his tongue up my throat over my chin, outlining the line of my bottom lip with his lip. My body shivered from deep within. My core moistened.

  “So sweet,” he muttered.

  The words he spoke sent a heat through me. Something I experienced before, fire and ice. The burn, the chill, the culmination breathtaking, heart wrenching, and my body knew the feeling. I wanted more, and my body demanded more. I rubbed myself against him. There would be no doubt I burned for him.

  “Cayden, I….”

  Cayden’s hands caressed me, shimmied down my arm, over my waist then around my back.

  I lost my ability to speak. He pressed one hand firmly to the small of my back. With his other hand, he reached for the strap of the black dress I was wearing and removed it. The silky strap slid down over my left shoulder. He kissed down my neck, down my shoulder, sending heat, shooting sparks of energy, flooding the surface of my skin in each place he touched or kissed.

  “Oh God…please, Cayden.” I breathed into his ear. My hand caressed his jaw. “Make love to me.”

  Cayden froze for a moment. He reached around me and turned on the light which hung on the wall over the side table of the bed.

  “I need to really see you, Winter,” he whispered. “Not just dim pieces of you.”

  While the room was dark with muted light which did allow the shadowed outlines of our bodies to be seen, this would not give Cayden satisfaction or me.

  “I want you to see me,” I returned.

  He looked at me with an expression upon his face as though my words had set him free. His fingers moved down the plunging neckline on my dress and traced like a gentle breeze against my flesh. He made this erotic line coming to the top of my navel then slid back up to my collarbone still outlining my skin. His eyes widened while the pupils, dark black, surged as he touched me. His gaze followed his touch.

  “You feel like silk, so soft,” he murmured.

  I grabbed his hand and lifted it to my face. I kissed the middle of his palm. Cayden leaned in closer. He kissed my lips tenderly, his tongue swiping mine before he kissed me harder. Cayden plunged into my mouth as if he needed to consume me, take me into him. His hands tangled into my hair, pulling, urging my head back for a deeper penetration of his tongue. I took it, wanted it, longe
d for it. We kissed this way for quite some time. Hungry. Our kisses moved from gentle to hard, to deep, to gentle, but never moving from each other until we were both breathless.

  Cayden passed his thumb over my tingling lips, and he watched me, my face. “You are breathtaking, Winter.” I closed my eyes, feeling his touch, holding onto his words. Cayden’s fingertips brushed the corners of my eyes. “Look at me, please.” I opened my eyes to see him. “Let me in,” he whispered.

  Cayden moved his hands over my face, tracing the arch of my brow, the bending curve of my eye, the line of my cheekbone, my jaw. He smiled as his other hand, his fingers, tracked the line of my nose before he savored the swell of my lips once more. He did this as if he were memorizing every nuance of my features while he stared into my eyes, locking me within his gaze, melting me with his touch. I lifted my quivering hand, and reached out to touch his face, skimming along his jaw line, his mouth.

  “You can’t be real,” I uttered.

  Filled with the knowledge even if he was somehow flesh and bone beneath my touch, I could never keep hold of him. I found my desire, my fear, mingled into one throbbing ache which lingered deep and twisted within my soul.

  “I’m real.”

  Cayden’s mouth found my neck, nuzzling there, breathing me in, causing me to quiver. He pulled me closer into his touch. He placed a kiss to the hollow below my ear.

  “Who’s arms are you in?” he asked.

  “Yours.” I moaned. I felt the strength of his biceps before my hands roamed up to his shoulders.

  Cayden sucked the flesh tenderly on the side of my neck. His lips glided over the top curve of my shoulder while his other hand pressed between the span of my shoulder blades.

  “Whose mouth is on your flawless skin?”

  “Yours, Cayden.”

  I wanted to explode when Cayden slid his mouth down my arm, brushing my hair through his fingers before placing his mouth to mine. Once again kissing me, deeply. My breath hitched. He pulled back enough to look into my eyes.

  “And who am I?”

  “Cayden Cain.”

  He smiled tenderly all the while running his finger along the bottom swell of my lip. “And who are you?” he asked.

  “Winter.”

  Cayden swiped his palm over my cheek. “Yes, and we are real,” he said in a low tone. He placed his mouth to my throat. “This is real.” Cayden kissed, licked, nuzzled. “What we are feeling is real. Don’t fight this, Winter, let me in.”

  My body quaked. His body absorbed my every shake. Cayden’s hands outlined my shoulders in a quest. He slowly removed my dress an inch at a time. He revealed a piece of my flesh then kissed each spot he exposed. Cayden kissed the hollow of my inner shoulder, my collarbone, and slid his tongue along the curve. I moaned, unable to contain myself.

  “Mmm….” He murmured upon my flesh.

  Cayden’s mouth found my right shoulder before moving to the left shoulder. My fingers found solace within his silky hair. I molded my fingers into his hair, taking in the feeling, the pleasure, while bronze strands danced, twined into my fingers.

  “Don’t stop,” I said.

  “I won’t.” He assured with a kiss to my throat.

  Cayden moved the material of my dress, exposing my breasts then his mouth kissed the top curve of my breasts; my hair fell forward and brushed across his face. He smiled, moved my hair and kissed me between my breasts, stopping where my golden locket hung. I grasped the locket in my hand and closed my fist tight around it. Cayden’s fingers still moved, explored my body. He peeled black silk material from my skin. He slid the dress down past my waist, still outlining with his fingers. His mouth kissed my navel, my sides then Cayden’s tongue caressed me between kisses. His tongue tapped against my skin, intermittent, before a hot warm kiss skimmed my navel once again.

  “Cayden.” I moaned.

  “Yes,” he returned. Establishing once again he was here with me.

  I moved so Cayden could pull the dress from my hips. He gave a smile as the black garment hit the floor. I leaned back upon the bed, wearing nothing but a satin black thong and garters with black stockings. He had undressed me, removed the dress like I was a gift, as if he were unwrapping me. His stunning eyes appraised me while his long strong fingers outlined my shoulders.

  “Winter.” He murmured. Cayden slid his hands down my breasts, painting my skin with his touch.

  My breasts responded to his touch. He watched this. A slow smile spread across his angelic face. I felt as if I would crack, shatter into a thousand shards of pleasure.

  “Wow.” He murmured adoration. His fingertips strummed against my pink burgeoning flesh.

  I trembled at his touch. He cupped me, held my breasts within the palms of his large hands. I remembered this sensation. He completely concealed my breasts from his view, confirming my breasts were indeed his possession.

  My hands moved to his thighs, feeling the coarse denim. I gave my hands permission to move to his waist, to the top button of his jeans. Cayden leaned in toward me, his warm mouth followed. I arched toward him. A low moan of pleasure escaped my lips when his tongue swiped over my hard nipples.

  “Your breasts,” he said, lapping his tongue around one tip. He sucked a nipple then pulled his lips free with a wet sounding pop. “Damn Winter, they are perfect.” He crooned against the curve of them, pushing them up, pressing them together with his two large hands while his tongue outlined the cleavage he formed.

  “Ah….” I moaned as he worked my left nipple with his lips and tongue.

  “And this, oh God this.” Cayden’s tongue flicked out, tapping the urgent tip of my right nipple once again. This sent sensation shooting throughout the entirety of my being. “Sweet,” he muttered.

  Cayden kissed my breasts like he kissed my mouth. He savored. Lingered. Dined upon my breasts. He enjoyed them without hurry while his tongue outlined the pink blush of my areola before curling his tongue around my plumped nipples. He sucked again. I bit my bottom lip only to find myself moaning at this long forgotten sensation.

  “I’m going to lay you back, baby,” Cayden said. He placed one hand between my shoulder blades for support.

  He called me “baby.”

  I gave Cayden my weight. He laid me back on the bed. His hand slid up to the back of my neck, holding me secure. He bent down to kiss my mouth lovingly before he moved his hands softly, slowly over my waist. Cayden’s gaze followed his hands all the way to the top of my panties. His touch sent shivers over the canvas of my skin. He made a low sound of appreciation while his fingers outlined the skin of my thigh. He moved them around the top of the stocking, fingering the line of the garter.

  “I wanted to do this, hours ago,” he said in a low tempting voice.

  I could not help but smile. “Take them off,” I whispered.

  “With pleasure.”

  Cayden unclasped the garter from my left thigh, leaned down, and started kissing my exposed skin. It was clear he wanted to keep his touch upon my thigh since his fingers lingered on my flesh. Another kiss to my thigh buzzed across me before he tucked his finger slightly under the top edge of my stocking. He traced his fingertip along the line before he rolled the stocking down my leg. When his hand wrapped around my ankle, my skin burst into goose bumps.

  “So delicate, so beautiful.” Cayden murmured before he kissed the inner hollow of my left ankle. I watched as he pulled the stocking free from my foot. He dropped the black stocking to the floor. “Winter,” he whispered on the top of my foot. His two hands meandered up my bare leg before he placed my foot upon the bed.

  He repeated this exact pattern on my right leg, only his hand sauntered down the back seam line while he peeled off the stocking. I moved my foot, twisted, so he could not see the scar on the inside my right ankle. Cayden’s mouth moved up my leg making low appreciative sounds until his tongue tasted my thighs.

  My eyes closed.

  “Oh…God.” I breathed, feeling Cayden’s mouth on my thighs.
His hand roamed over my stomach, stretching up to cup my right breast. He flicked my nipple with his thumb before apply tantalizing pressure, squeezing.

  “Winter.” He muttered against my inner thigh. “So beautiful.” My back arched with his touch. “Don’t hold back from me, Winter. I want to see you, hear you, feel you, all of you. I need all of you.”

  I opened my eyes to see Cayden’s mouth pressed against my inner thigh, higher, then higher. He stopped. His eyes and his hands came to my panties. He outlined my panties. He kept his fingers on the soft flesh of my stomach along the top edge of the black satin. The muscles in my stomach jerked in response. Cayden smiled at my reaction as he unhooked the lacy garter belt. Slowly, he freed it from my flesh.

  I watched his face, his mouth, as his tongue swiped his lips and set them glistening. His expression was as if he were enjoying, savoring every moment, every look and every touch, not only as if this were his first but his last time touching me. I felt Cayden hook his fingers into the side of my panties. I lifted my hips. The feel of satin kissed my thighs and wound around my ankles. I moved my feet. Cayden pulled. He let go. The garment flittered to the floor.

  Cayden’s hand brushed softly over the manicured triangle of my womanhood, up the curve and over the concave of my belly then shimmered down my sides. He stared at me, really looked. I allowed him, lying completely bare before him. No man, but Austin, had ever seen me this way. I felt…resplendent.

  Cayden cupped my hands in his. He kissed my right wrist, lifted my hands, and placed them above my head. I pushed my breast out for his pleasure and cocked my hip. The curves of my body were presented for his gratification. He gazed at me and followed every line, each curve, every swell, and breath of my body. He watched the rise, the fall of my respirations. Cayden looked upon me like I was his world. I heard his intake of breath.