by S. K. Lessly
Copyright © by SK Lessly. Publisher: Jessica Watkins Presents. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages to be printed online, in a newspaper, or magazine.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be assumed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Jessica Watkins Presents
My Addiction
Second Chance Series
S.K. Lessly
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
God is still allowing me to express myself the way that I do, and I thank him for that. I know I wouldn’t be able to do what I love if it wasn’t for his Grace.
I want to thank Jessica for seeing the potential in me and giving me this opportunity to express myself and share my crazy imagination through my writing. I’m having the time of my life, and it’s still unreal that I’m following a dream. Thank you to all of my fellow JWP authors. We may write for different audiences, but we have the same passions. I’m honored to support you all and happy to do it.
Love you, family: the Russells, Taylors, Bowras, Cottons, & Tiptons/Blanks. Thank you for your support and love.
To my fans: You bless me every day with your kind words, well wishes and slight hints that you’re waiting impatiently for Desired Too. I’m working on giving Angel’s story the attention it needs so you’ll turn that last page and be content. I hope you’ll continue to be patient, and I hope to make the wait worth it.
Special shout to all of my FB families, especially my Alpha Addicts. You ladies keep me laughing every day and entertained all day. Love your support and your candid honesty. I feel like I’m among like minds every time I enter the group.
Special thanks to those that took the time to read for me. Your opinions and suggestions really helped me transform this story and gave me the ideas I needed for the future. Your honesty and realness, when you tell me that I suck, just encourages me to do better and be better, so “thank you” sincerely!
Special love sent to my sorors and frat… (I said my sorors, you’re looking good today)
DEDICATION:
I will forever dedicate my writing to my family. You all allow me to do what I love, and I’m blessed to have you in my life.
Dad, I feel like you’re so close. All you have to do is reach out, and you’ll have it. You’re a brilliant writer, and I think the world is ready to see just how brilliant you are!
Prologue
“I’m pulling up to the last motel on the list. I’ll let you know if she’s here,” I told my brother quickly before I hung up the phone.
I pulled my Audi A7 into the lot and headed to the office. Once I parked, I stopped and took a deep breath. I can’t go down this road again. I know I can’t. I ran my hand through my hair in frustration. I felt my past repeating itself, and I couldn’t let that happen. However, I had to give her the benefit of the doubt. I had to know that this wasn’t what I thought it was – that I had been mistaken.
The moment I looked around this area though, I had a gut feeling I wasn’t wrong… Shit!
I grabbed her picture sitting on the passenger seat along with my phone. I looked around the area and made sure no one was lurking around. Not knowing how much this would cost me, I had an enormous amount of cash on me, which made me a little nervous in this neighborhood. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not a punk. If it came down to it, I would defend myself with no problem. I never shy away from confrontation. However, it would be a pain in the ass if someone got hurt or killed by my hands.
My brother would be even more of a pain, especially since he told me to leave my nine millimeter at the hotel. He should’ve known after he warned me that I wouldn’t listen. In fact, I grabbed the nine and my hunting knife, just in case.
I opened the door to the office and walked inside. The smell of sweat, ass, and funk hit my nose hard. I frowned and headed to the desk. There was no one in sight, but I heard a TV going in the background. I hit the bell at the desk and waited.
When no one moved or came to the desk, I hit the bell again and kept hitting it until I saw an overweight man with a receding hairline stumble to the desk. He snatched the bell from under my hand, face beet red. “What the fuck do you want?”
I smiled brilliantly. “Good evening, sir. I was wondering if you could help me out.” I held out the photo to him. “I’m looking for this woman. Have you seen her?”
He didn’t look at the picture at all. Instead, he considered me. “You’re a long way from home, rich boy.”
I sighed. So he’s one of those.
He smirked and folded his meaty, sweaty arms over his large man boobs.
I lost the smile and leaned on the desk. “Look, have you seen her here or not?”
“Uh, you know, I’m not sure. It’s possible she’s here, but then again…” He shrugged.
I had always considered myself a very patient man. However, there was always one thing I had trouble with, and that’s stupidity. There’s no reason why I needed to play this game with him, but he seemed to want to, so I bit my tongue and asked, “What can I do to help you remember?”
He rubbed his sausage-size thumb and finger along his jaw line and pinched his fat chin. “You know, I don’t know… for starters, I’ll take that watch you have. Maybe then, I’ll remember if she’s been here or not. That sweet car out there would be nice too. Maybe I’ll remember if she’s alone or if she has company. Hell, I might even tell you how sweet her p…”
Before he attempted to be clever, I reached out, grabbed the son of a bitch by the back of his neck and slammed his face against the desk. He tried to lift his head, but I gripped his stringy wet hair and slammed his face back down harder, again and again, until I heard the necessary crunch of his nose breaking.
I kept his face down, and as he struggled and cried out in pain, I leaned closer to his smelly ass and urged, “Listen to me, you fat fuck. I don’t have the patience for your dumb degenerate ass. Tell me now if she’s here and what room she’s in before I beat the shit out of you.”
He started mumbling and whimpering, so I let him up. I reached into my pocket for my handkerchief and wiped my hands. Ugh, he fucking stinks.
“Start talking, fat boy.”
His hands covered his nose as he attempted to stop the blood flow. “You broke my nose!” he whined.
“If you don’t want anything else broken, tell me if she’s here.” I held up her picture again, and this time he looked at it. He didn’t respond right away, so I moved closer to him and he backed away, falling back against the computer chair behind him.
“Yeah, I’ve seen her okay? I’ve seen her.”
“You have? When? Is she staying here? What room is she in?” I asked, getting pissed even more at his slow response.
He stood wearily and moved to another desk behind him. He opened a drawer and pulled out a key. When he turned, he moved slowly and placed the key in front of me. I reached for it with the handkerchief, not wanting to get his blood on me, and picked up the key.
“She’s in room one-nineteen at the end of the row on the first floor,” he said.
“Is she alone?” I asked, and he nodded yes. I smiled, showing him all of my pearly whites. “Thanks for your cooperation.”
I pulled out my wallet, counted five crisp Benjamins and laid them on the table. His eyes grew wide as I said, “See? If you would have been cooperative when I asked, you would’ve gotten more from me.”
He started to say something else, but I moved
quickly out of the door and down the walkway to room one-nineteen. I texted my brother as I headed to the room, giving him the address and the room number. I thought about what I would find in the hotel room and wondered if we would need an ambulance. However, I didn’t ponder on it long. I told my brother to get here as fast as he could and to send the ambulance faster.
I took a few deep breaths, put the key in the door, and turned the doorknob slowly. When I entered the hotel room, the smell of blood and vomit hit me instantly.
Shit!
I opened the door all the way and walked inside. I turned on the light and found the beds empty. It was a typical motel room with two double beds, a dresser and a nightstand. The room was a mess, pillows and sheets were tossed all over the room. I walked to the side of the first bed, moved the covers on the floor and still I didn’t see her.
My eyes then traveled to the closed bathroom door. I moved to look around the other bed for her, and again nothing. My eyes then traveled back to the closed bathroom door.
I moved quickly and opened the door…and found her.
She was lying on her side next to the toilet. It seemed she tried to make it there, but was unsuccessful, and had thrown up on the floor next to her.
“Shit, Ayana.”
I ignored the vomit, went inside the bathroom and rolled her on her back. I checked her vitals and found she wasn’t breathing.
I switched gears quickly and went into action. I began checking her airways to make sure she wasn’t choking. Once I confirmed that she wasn’t, I began CPR.
I ignored the smell coming from her mouth and tried my best to breathe into her, then started compressions. I continued to do what I could to bring her back, relieved the instant I heard the faint sounds of a siren. I then looked around the bathroom, trying to find the pill bottle that undoubtedly was here somewhere. I needed to know what she took so I could tell the paramedics how to counter it.
God, she looked awful. Her face was bruised, her wrists reddened, and her clothes appeared ripped. The fat guy hinted that it was possible she wasn’t alone. My stomach turned sour at the thought of what she had done.
My brother warned me not to get tangled up with her again. The first time I did, it almost ruined me. She promised me that this wasn’t a part of her life anymore. She told me she was clean and had been for over five years, and I believed her. I believed in her feelings for me and, in turn, opened up and let myself get wrapped up in everything that was Ayana Peters.
Now look where it had gotten me; I was kneeling on a dingy ass bathroom floor as I tried to beat life back into her again. I was doing everything I could to save her, but as I pounded on her chest, I knew this was it. I felt my heart break with every forced thrust of my hands on her chest. My resolve left my body with each breath I breathed into her.
When the first paramedic entered the bathroom, I moved over, permitting her to continue with compressions. The second paramedic worked on bagging her while I checked her pulse. I put a hand on the female paramedic.
“I feel a faint pulse,” I told her.
“Do you know what she took?” she asked me.
I shook my head. “No, but, in the past, her drug of choice was mainly oxycodone. However, I haven’t looked around for a pill bottle to be certain if that’s what she took.” I watched them work on her while trying to stay unattached, but I couldn’t. So, instead, I walked out of the bathroom in search of my brother and an exit. I found my brother talking to a tech guy from the department.
“I need everything in this room tagged and bagged, and I need you to handle this with kid gloves.” He looked over at me, but I kept walking past him.
“Brad,” he called out.
I turned and walking backward said, “I’m done with this shit, Lock.”
“Brad, there’s something I need to tell you…”
“I don’t give a shit anymore. There’s nothing you can say to me that will change my mind. If she wants that life, she can have it. I’m done.”
I turned and headed quickly to my car. When I got inside, I sat there for a few minutes as I tried to get her image out of my mind. Things in my life needed to change. Before I made changes though, I needed chapters in my life closed, and I needed to start fresh. The question is, will the new chapters only include myself?
I pulled out my phone from my pocket, looked up a number and hit send.
Only one way to find out.
It rang a few times, then a voice came on the other end. “Hello?”
“Let’s do it.”
A pause on the other end almost had me wondering if she hung up. But she said to me with a smile laced in her voice, “Are you sure? I mean what about… did you find her?”
I sighed. “It doesn’t matter, does it? If you want to get married and have a life with me, then I’m saying, let’s go start this life. I’ve already packed, so get your things together and meet me back in the room. There’s a spare key on the desk. I’ll book the flights and be there in an hour.”
“Okay, baby, consider me packed and ready to go in an hour.”
I hung up.
Nora Reynolds and I had been together off and on for a long time. She was with me through medical school and my residency. She was stable, loyal, and reliable. She was safe. What I saw was what I got. She was what you dream about in a woman… right?
Ah, who am I kidding? I sounded like I was describing an object, not a person.
Nora was the woman I should want to spend the rest of my life with. She was beautiful, sexy, smart, sophisticated, confident… and did I say sexy? Yeah, well, she was sexy, and the sex was great, when we had it, and she treated me well. I didn’t have to worry about messed up shit with her like finding her face down on a dirty ass floor of an even nastier motel.
I realized I was not only breathing at an increased rate, but also doing well over a hundred miles an hour. My knuckles were white as hotel sheets on the wheel. I slowed down the car, as well as slowed my breathing. My phone vibrated, and I saw, on the car display screen, that it was my brother calling.
I ignored his call. I didn’t want to hear him tell me that Ayana had died, or worse; that she’d woke up. I needed to get her out of my mind. She was no good for me. She was never good for me.
I took a deep breath again and admitted to myself that I should have listened to my brother when he told me to stay away from Ayana this time and every time before. She and I hadn’t seen each other in years, but as always, just seeing her made me forget all common sense. A chuckle left my lips, and I shook my head. This woman had been a piece of work since the very day I met her, and it seemed she always managed to make my life a living hell. I knew this when I saw her again three months ago for the first time in years. Thinking back, something told me just to say hello and keep moving, but the moment she smiled at me and the moment I wrapped my arms around her, as always, I was hooked.
“Sometimes life gives you a second chance because just maybe the first time you weren’t ready.” – Unknown Author
Chapter 1 – Bradley
Some months before…
I took a deep breath as I looked around my brother’s house. I took the keys from the lock and closed the door, sitting my bags in the doorway. I would love to say it was great to be home, but, quite honestly, under the circumstances, it wasn’t. I looked around his living room feeling the loss of one of the greatest women I knew come over me. My older brother by five years, Lock, was blessed with meeting one of the nicest human beings I’d ever known; Marjorie “MJ” St. Pierre. She was one of those women who everyone loved the moment you met her. She was only 5’3,” but had so much personality that it made her seem six feet tall.
MJ was exactly what my brother needed in his life. She brought life and meaning to him that I was all too thankful for. He needed to learn how to live his life without feeling like he needed to help me live mine all the time. However, I understood why he was that way. Our father left my mom when I was ten, and our mother was heavily into fi
nding another wealthy bastard to snag after my father. Lock decided that it was his job to be both parents to me, and, the moment Lock took over in the parental capacity, he drove me mad. Even though he got on my nerves, he was always there for me. He had my back through college and medical school. He made sure I finished school and wasn’t sidetracked. I love my brother, but, shit, back then he was a pain in my ass.
He raised me, sacrificing his own life in the process. But, MJ, man, she truly taught him how to live.
In my eyes, MJ and my brother were destined for happily ever after. So, the moment we found out that MJ had inoperable cancer, it broke my heart. The attempt to prolong her life lasted for about a year. She fought hard, and he supported her until she had no fight left.
MJ lost her battle about five years ago, and I lost my brother shortly after. Her death was very hard for him, but he’d never admit it. Lock buried his head in his work, and nothing else mattered but putting bad guys away. When I’d mention he should get back out there and that MJ wouldn’t approve of the way was living, he would just grunt and tell me to mind my own business.
He would say to me, “Until you find that person that makes your heart stop, that weakens you and builds you up at that same time, someone that embraces who you are and loves you in spite of yourself, completes you in every way, then come talk to me. You show me then how you can move on with your life without her.”
When Lock would say things like that to me, I’d simply nod my head and walk away. He knew I had found that person that did everything he’d mentioned and more. She’s my weakness, the kryptonite that had the capability of sucking the life from me, leaving me with nothing. I knew she had this power over me the first day I met her, but, for some reason, it was impossible for me to stay away. This wasn’t a secret. It had always been that way, and Lock wasn’t oblivious to how I felt about her. It was his choice to ignore it.
