by S. K. Lessly
I pulled off my t-shirt, grabbed my bags and moved to the spare bedroom in the back of his house. He and MJ designated this space mine when they bought this two-story house seven years ago. A long hallway separates a nice sized bedroom and full bathroom from the rest of the house. I have a door in my room that exits on the side of the house and a sliding glass door that exits onto the back deck. This used to be where I studied most nights and where I stayed when I came to visit my brother, which, by the way, hadn’t been often.
I dropped my bags on the floor and fell on the bed looking up at the ceiling. This day was tiring and these last few months were hell. Just as I closed my eyes, my phone vibrated on my hip. I blindly reached for it, looked at the screen and took a deep breath.
“Hello,” I answered hoping that this conversation wouldn’t last very long.
“How was your drive?” my newly ex-fiancée asked.
“It was fine.”
“So are you at your brother’s house now?”
I sighed. “Yes, Nora, I’m at my brother’s house. As a matter of fact, I’m lying across the bed as we speak about to close my eyes for a little while.”
She got quiet, and I listened to her breathing on the other line. I had a feeling she was probably lounging on the couch as she sipped on her midday glass of red. I closed my eyes and waited for her to decide what she wanted to say to me. I didn’t have to wait too long.
“How long are you going to be gone?” she asked.
“I don’t know Nora. A few months maybe.”
She got quiet again and again I waited. One thing about Nora, you couldn’t rush her when she had shit on her mind to say. It’s like pulling teeth, but I guess that’s why we got along so well. I had an unbelievable amount of patience, and it took that much to deal with Nora.
“So this is it then?”
“Nora, we talked about this before I left, didn’t we?”
“As I recall you talked mostly.” She paused then softly said, “You don’t love me anymore, is that it?”
I sighed again and sat up. “I’m not saying that I don’t love you. It’s just that I don’t think it’s enough. Nora, there are things missing between us, and I feel like we’re just going through the motions. We’ve been just roommates for months now. I haven’t felt like an ‘us’ in a long time, and I know you’ve felt the same way. As we talked about a few days ago, we can’t enter into a marriage like that.”
“Yes, you mentioned a lot of things that I had no clue about. For instance, I didn’t know you hated my friends. They really like you, and I thought you felt the same way. I also agree that we don’t spend a lot of time together, but that’s your fault, not mine. I think we are right for each other. I think we can make it. I’ll work on the things you mentioned, okay? We can hang out with your friends too. I just never thought you wanted to because you never suggested it. But, Braddock, I don’t think we should give up.”
I ran my hand through my hair in frustration. My goal was to get away for a while and not have to argue about this shit. She’s right though. I had never suggested that we go out with my friends because none of my friends or their wives liked Nora. Nora constantly complained and smothered me to death every time we hung around my friends. I had no room to breathe. She told me that she had to stay around me to keep an eye on my friend’s girlfriends. In her mind, every female wanted me.
What she needed to do was look at her own friends. They’re the ones that constantly gave me the eye, or tried their best to get me alone with them. Some of them even overtly flirted with me, but she claimed she didn’t see it.
“Nora, look, I’m not just giving up. We’ve talked about making changes to our relationship multiple times. I’ve asked that we spend more time together alone. I’ve even suggested getaway trips when I had time off, but you’ve always found a reason or an event that would trump everything, so I stopped thinking it could work. I don’t want to string you along with hopes of something that I’m not sure I can provide. And I don’t want to waste any more time trying to figure shit out.”
I could hear the accusatory tone in her voice, when she asked, “And you’ve been feeling like this just recently?”
“Come on, what did I just say? This hasn’t just come about. I’ve been feeling like this for a long time, Nora. Stop making it seem like this is all news to you and that you didn’t have a clue about what was going on.” I paused for a moment then said to her, “Look, we both need this. I’m sure in time you’ll see that things between us just aren’t how they’re supposed to be when two people decide to spend a lifetime together.”
“So what am I supposed to do Brad? Wait for you to get a clue about what you have, or just let you go?”
“I’m already gone, Nora.”
“What does that mean exactly?”
“It means I’m done. I don’t want to string you along, and I don’t expect you to wait around for me to get a clue, as you’ve said, so what we had is over, Nora. We’re both free to find the right person that fits us because we aren’t it for each other.”
There was another pause, then I knew what was coming… the claws.
“You’re seeing her again, aren’t you? That’s, it isn’t it?”
“No, I’m not seeing anyone, Nora. You’re being ridiculous.”
“Am I, Braddock? I’ll bet you couldn’t wait to get there and see her.” She paused, then laughed. “Oh my God. You’ve been seeing her all this time, haven’t you? Behind my back, you’ve been fucking that bitch.”
I shook my head. “I’m done talking, Nora. Goodbye.”
I hung up just as I heard her say my name. I tossed my phone on the bed next to me, fell back against the pillows and closed my eyes again. I don’t know what’s up with my life or what I’ve done to deserve this, but this shit is for the birds.
*******
I slept for about five hours, which I really needed. I’d been on rotation for days, and I hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in weeks. Residency was a bitch, but, now that I was done, I needed a break. I completed my residency at Houston Methodist Hospital in their Cardiology center, and I accepted a three-year fellowship with the top surgical team there, which was great for me. I was thankful that I got the opportunity to work with my mentor and advisor, and I was extremely thrilled for the break between the fellowship and finishing my residency. For some reason, my life felt like a damn roller coaster that seemed to never stop. What I told Nora was the truth; I needed this break. Quite honestly, I really needed to separate myself from her and our old life.
She and I were together off and on for years. However, the last two years it seemed that we were finally heading somewhere. She had my back during my residency and sometimes I felt if it wasn’t for her support I would have lost my mind. But these last few months, things started to change.
We were unraveling quickly. She was starting to take on a role that I never asked her to do. She started to turn me off with the way she was trying to run my life. I already had a mother. I didn’t need another one. She was picking out my clothes for me, telling me what to eat, and who we should hang out with. She even made dinner dates with co-workers that I couldn’t stand, behind my back. This might sound petty to you but the hell if I’m going to have someone hold my balls for me. I’m more than capable of doing that shit on my own. No, what I needed from her was a helpmate. I needed someone in my corner at all times. I needed a best friend, someone I could lean on whenever I needed to, especially when stressed.
To be blunt, I wanted a woman to know me. A woman that knew everything there was to know about me. She would know and understand that there would be days when I needed a blowjob to take my mind off of the messed up shit in my life, and, in the same token, just know when I needed her to screw my brains out. I thought Nora was that woman, but, apparently, she was not. As it seemed, this woman didn’t exist.
As I unpacked, my brother called and asked if I wanted to meet him for dinner. I told him I had plans of my own later, but
I’d call him when I was done. I threw on some workout clothes and headed for the fitness gym for a quick workout. I ended up running into a few guys I knew from high school and decided to play a few games of basketball. We ended up playing about six games before I called it a night.
I started to call my brother and tell him never mind about dinner. I didn’t feel like eating much though, but I could do for a drink or two. So I texted my brother, telling him to meet me at McGinley’s, a bar and grille dive we used to frequent when I lived in Dallas. The place was located in Plano, west of Route 75 on Parker, and was a privately owned local business with the best drinks, grilled food and atmosphere I know. When I walked in, I inhaled, and all the memories of my past flooded me.
I sat at an open booth and nodded my head at a few people I remembered from way back when. It seemed that the regulars hadn’t changed a bit. I placed an order with a cute blonde for a beer and thought about how I made it from Highland Park to the mean streets of West Plano. I know that statement is an oxymoron, “mean streets of West Plano,” but for a kid coming from streets paved with gold, West Plano was rough.
I won’t say I grew up with a platinum spoon in my mouth, but my father was very well off. I was used to the good life, easy street, until my father one day kicked my mom, my brother and me out of his house. At ten, I couldn’t understand what the hell happened. For a very long time, I thought my father didn’t give a shit about us. I felt like he got rid of us like useless garbage. I found out later that my mom cheated on my father with a man who she felt had more money. She thought she would be set for life. However, her new savior didn’t like the idea that she came with kids, so he dropped her like a bad habit.
Alimony wasn’t an option for my mom, so she relied on the next best thing, child support. It was important to her to make sure she was able to buy what she wanted, keep her spa dates with her high society friends, and country club membership. Unfortunately, child support just wasn’t enough support for her, and she was forced to get a job.
We stayed in a very rundown apartment complex in a neighborhood that wasn’t very favorable. Now, since I mentioned we lived in Plano, you’re thinking how bad could it be, right? I mean, it’s Plano—I get it. Well, I won’t say it was Oakcliff, one of the roughest neighborhoods in South Dallas, but there was a huge difference between East and West Plano. The closer you got to the Dallas Tollway, the better the neighborhoods were. Closer to Route 75 though was a toss-up.
I didn’t see my father after the dust from the divorce settled. He managed to get hooked by a blood sucking bitch that kicked out a couple of kids for him. She told my father how confusing it would be for my brother and me to be around them if we didn’t live with them, and he bought it. My father’s wife was twelve years his junior and probably screwing his brains out, so he’d do anything for her.
I was pissed off at first, but, after a while, I just said the hell with it and him. Fences have been mended since then, but it took my father a very long time to get in my good graces. I can’t fucking stand my half-brother and -sister or their mother though, and that won’t ever change.
The elementary school I went to saw fights weekly. I stayed to myself and out of everyone’s way. I didn’t say shit, and I didn’t do shit. My brother’s high school was up the street from me, so we would walk to school together every day. When I went to middle school, shit got deep. I got into fights at least twice a month. Everyone wanted to screw with the quiet white kid.
Things started to change for me in eighth grade. I loved sports and was thinking about playing basketball for my middle school team. I decided one day to go to one of their games to see how good they were and if I had a chance to make the team. It was that day when I met the girl that would change me forever.
“Oh my God, are you kidding me?! You call that a foul?!”
Her voice rang through over the sounds of sneakers squeaking on a rather subpar basketball court and the echoes of a ball bouncing. I looked around and found the gym wasn’t packed, just the teams sitting on either side of the court. The stands had a few people in them, but the person who caught my eye was the one who seemed to be the loudest of everyone.
“Come on, Terrence! Post up, big guy. Stop playing soft!” she yelled.
I noticed a brown-skinned kid on the court, with our school colors and name on his jersey, frown and look up at her. The look he gave her didn’t seem to faze her at all. It actually seemed to charge her.
“Don’t look at me like that! You know that guy has no handle, and you’re letting him take you to the basket; unacceptable!”
I smiled and shook my head; this was going to be entertaining at worst.
However, when I tell you I had the time of my life at a middle school basketball game, I’m not exaggerating. I didn’t know who this girl was, but she knew her shit. And, apparently, in my opinion, when she called everybody out on their skills, it made them play harder. The coach, of course, wasn’t too happy about her presence and yelling, but, hell, what could he do? She wasn’t hurting the team or the game. She wasn’t causing any trouble or disrupting anything, so he had to suck it up.
At the end of the game, I stood, grabbed my book bag, dreading the walk to meet my brother. I didn’t mind the walk. I just hated having to deal with petty shit on the way, kids thinking they could push me around and bully me. I turned to exit the gym, getting my mind ready for the trouble waiting for me when I heard a voice ring out behind me. “Hey.”
I turned and found the girl who yelled throughout the entire game heading toward me.
“Are you thinking about joining the team?” she asked.
I frowned and looked in her direction. The moment my eyes fully met hers, my frown disappeared. My mouth suddenly went dry, and I swear my happy guy, who had been getting happy a lot lately, perked up. I looked away from her and stepped back a little, instantly shy for some reason, and I wasn’t the shy type.
“I don’t know; maybe. Why?”
She studied me for a minute, which didn’t do much for the now full boner I had. Shit, what is it about this girl?
She was brown skinned with some milk chocolate eyes that seemed to unnerve me and turn me on at the same time. She wore a skullcap on her head so, at the time, I couldn’t see her hair, but she was thicker than most of the girls at the school; not obese, just thick. She smiled at me, showing me a set of dimples that almost made me stumble off the bleachers.
She said to me, “Because the team could use you.”
My interest intensified. “How do you know I can play?” I asked her.
She shrugged. “I’ve seen you play at the park around the corner from Montgomery Elementary. I don’t live too far from there, so I hang out at the park all the time.”
I frowned again. I didn’t live too far from that school either, and I was always there, but I didn’t remember seeing her there at all. “Were you hiding or something? I’ve never seen you there.”
The moment I saw her smile and look away, I actually stumbled on the bleachers. Wow, I made her blush.
Ignoring my blunder, she added, “You seem to need more practice on your footwork though.”
I gathered myself and shook my head at my clumsiness and lack of finesse. “No, I don’t. My footwork is fine.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Yeah, care to show me? Play a little one-on-one tomorrow?”
“Play one-on-one with you?”
She pushed me on my shoulder. “Yes, you idiot, play with me; that is, unless you’re scared to play with a girl?”
“Don’t do it,” a voice said behind me, and I turned around in enough time to see the guy, Terrence, walk by me.
“Oh, shut up, Terrence. Go work on your game.” She shook her head and looked back at me. “Twin brother…”
I nodded but didn’t reply. How could I? I was stunned to silence.
“So, do you want to play or not?”
I should’ve said no. Seriously, what did I look like playing basketball with a girl? As
I continued to look at her, my happy guy started to take over my thought processes. I couldn’t control my head from moving up and down or my lips from telling her, “Okay.”
Her smile broadened, which made me smile in spite of myself. “Great. See you there at ten.”
My smile quickly dropped, and my eyes grew. “Ten? Are you kidding me? It’s a Saturday.”
She backed up from me. “Yeah, it’s a Saturday. Why spend it in the house when you can be outside? See you then, Larry Bird.”
I was not ashamed to tell you that that Saturday she took it to me the first two games we played. She talked so much shit that I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t ready for her, I’ll admit it, but, by the third game, I caught on. We played hard for hours. We hung out and talked about basketball, who our favorite players were, and the games we watched on TV. I’ve never had so much fun with a girl in my life. She wormed her way into my life that day and became one of the best and closest friends I ever had.
I ended up playing basketball for the school that year. We did okay for the season, and, I kid you not, every game I played I’d hear her voice in the stands saying, “Get your head in the game, Mills.”
“Get your head out of your ass, Franks. I told you to have the order placed two days ago. Now we have to wait until next week.”
I almost choked on my beer as the voice that I knew all too well filled the bar. I slowly looked up and saw the woman that had been giving me grief for decades standing in front of the bar with her hands on her hips.
My shock quickly turned to concern. The woman I once knew didn’t look the same. It had to be at least five years since I’d seen her, and back then this woman had hips that could rock you, and I will say they did just that. Her ass was round and plump, and it still was, but I could tell she lost a lot of weight. However, it wasn’t the kind of weight loss that made you healthy. No, it was the kind of weight loss that made people think something wasn’t right, the same way I was thinking now.
