Ignite

by Holly S. Roberts

  When he needs to burp, I lift him from Beth’s arms and pace the room and pat his back. He’s restless until he burps. A few minutes and wiggles later, he falls asleep. “It’s your turn to sleep,” I tell Beth. “I’ll wake you when he needs to eat again.”

  “He should be good until morning,” she says and yawns. “Lay down and I’ll snuggle with you both. Tomorrow night you’re coming to our room so he can sleep in his bassinet.”

  I need to call Gomez tomorrow and add my name to the needed paperwork. My mind runs through the list of changes I need to make to our plans. No matter the amount of work required, I’ll hold Beth tomorrow night and the night after.

  Love changes everything.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Beth

  IF ANY WOMAN TELLS you something is sexier than a bare man chest while he holds a baby against his shoulder, she’s never seen Rack with Carson. His muscled chest and bulging arms draw my attention. Carson is so tiny and Rack so damn large. He turns away from me and now his back has my attention. The muscles ripple as he walks. I’m shameless and wonder if I’m drooling. I check my lips and smile. Desire coils in my belly. The need to feel him slide inside me is explosive and frustrating because I’ve followed the doctor’s orders to the letter.

  It’s been a week since the party. I’ve finally managed to catch up on sleep and I’m growing lazy. When Carson cries, Rack is the first one there. We’re currently in the upstairs living room. Rack turns around and sees me watching him. He resituates Carson so he’s facing me. Carson kicks his chubby little legs and I receive my first full gummy smile. “He knows his mama,” Rack says when I dish out baby talk and play peekaboo with a small stuffed bunny. Anything to keep my mind off Rack’s bare chest.

  Rack, on the other hand, has full discussions with our son and never resorts to the singsong baby voice I use. It’s actually comical to hear him talk about the ins and outs of handguns verses rifles. Except for nursing, Carson is rarely in my arms. Rack might have been late to the plate but he takes the daddy role seriously now.

  “I heard from Gomez about getting all three of us the papers we need. He’s working on it and said he’d have them in the next few days.”

  I keep my smile but it isn’t easy. I like it here. The club has accepted us and I’m growing to care for everyone. If you asked me a year ago if I would ever live the life of an old lady, I’d have said no. Now I think I could. Sofia rolls her eyes when the officers meet in private and told me Dax shares ninety percent of what they talk about and she doesn’t want to know the rest. She trusts Dax that much.

  I’ve met some of the other old ladies and liked them too. The women who live in the trailer next to Red and Curly’s sleep with the unattached men. The old ladies don’t mind as long as it isn’t their men. I’m aware most clubs aren’t like this, but I’m not interested in joining those. My heart is with the Desert Crows.

  “Say what’s on your mind,” Rack prompts when I remain silent.

  I lean in and kiss Carson before giving Rack a short, sweet kiss on the lips. “Would we be safe if we stayed here?”

  I see the answer in his expression. This man would give me the world if possible. All he can do is give honesty. “No, it’s too dangerous for Sofia and the twins.”

  I understand and I’m sorry I even asked. “Okay. I go where you go and I trust you to keep us safe.” It really is that simple. I won’t put Sofia and the babies in more danger than our presence here already has. “How about I feed this guy and you and I take a nap?”

  Rack sleeping next to me each night has been wonderful and painful too. It’s been four weeks since Carson’s birth and I stopped bleeding a few days ago. I’ll be damned if I wait another week or two before jumping his bones. I feel great and I’m not sore at all. I just haven’t mentioned this to Rack.

  He hands Carson over. “Take a nap. I need to work on a few things. I’ll take Carson while you help Sofia with dinner.” He kisses my forehead and walks out. Damn, I need to work on my seduction skills. This woman has needs.

  ****

  When I was young, my brother did most of the cooking. When I was finally at college and on my own, I survived on fast food. After Kevin and I returned from Haiti and I was too in love to know better, I backed off my college classes and devoted myself to him. He preferred to go out to dinner at places where important people would see him. That took cooking off my agenda.

  Here, with Sofia’s help, I’ve discovered I love it. She’s a wonderful teacher. It amazes me that she cooks in such large quantities and happily feeds whoever comes to the clubhouse in the evening.

  “It gives me a break from the twins and gives their father a good dose of toddler terror,” she tells me as we shred a mountain of roast beef. Rack is upstairs with Dax. It’s become our nightly routine. The men take the children and I follow Sofia to the kitchen.

  She’s right about toddler terror. Masey decided she didn’t want to eat her lunch earlier and wanted a cookie instead. When Sofia said, “No, you need to eat five bites and then you can have a cookie,” Masey’s entire plate ended up on the floor and her blood curdling scream woke up Carson. Sofia picked the little girl up out of the highchair, cleaned her fingers and face, and then marched her to her bedroom. My heart broke for Masey, who began crying, “Daddy, I want my daddy.”

  Jonathan started crying too and we had three tearful children on our hands. How Sofia does it with twins is beyond me. The break from all the children is welcome while we cook dinner, and having Rack in the equation helping with Carson makes it sweeter.

  “I need to seduce Rack,” I say out of nowhere. “I mean…” Sofia has a knowing smile on her face. “We’ve um, done other stuff but the baby, and um, doctor’s orders.”

  Sofia shakes her head. “Believe me, I understand. You need some alone time with your man. I’ll watch Carson. Ask Rack to take you for a ride on the bike he’s been working on. I’ll move the bassinet out of your room while you’re gone. When you get him back here, steer him into your room and jump his bones.” Her smile grows conspiratorial. “Seduction is highly overrated.”

  We both laugh.

  ****

  It took a bit of work to get Rack to take me out on the bike because he worries Angelo could have men watching us. Dax actually comes to the rescue and explains that if any strangers were hanging around Peach City, the town where the clubhouse is located, he’d know. I add in that I’m going stir crazy and need to escape if only for an hour or so. Rack gives in and the first part of the plan is in the bag.

  I rode a motorbike in Haiti. It in no way compares to the power of the Harley that rumbles with a loud purr as Rack navigates the winding highway. My hands lock tightly around his waist and my chest presses firmly against his back. Loose strands of my tied-back hair fly around my face as the warm wind hits us.

  Rack’s hair has grown out even more, but it’s still a long way from being in his eyes. I think it’s sexier now, and tonight I’ll enjoy holding onto it.

  Freedom is the only word that comes to mind while we ride. “Wherever we end up, we need a motorcycle,” I shout into Rack’s ear. He nods in agreement. Once he made the decision to take me riding, the anticipation in his eyes excited me. He’s like a little boy with a new toy. He takes so much pride in this bike and it warms my heart that something outside his criminal life can give him a sense of accomplishment.

  I enjoy being alone with him too. In the hopes that tonight goes as planned, I pumped milk for Carson. I’m glad Rack can’t see my blush as I think about how I looked while working the pump. Cow Udders R Us is how I felt. I wouldn’t give up nursing Carson for anything but that damn milking machine Sofia loaned me might curtail our outings unless I can get over my awkwardness. I laugh into the wind for the shear sake of life being so wonderful.

  We head toward Payson, which is higher in the mountains than Peach City. Rack drives me past one of the medical marijuana clinics the Desert Crows owns and runs as soon as we hit the main highway a
nd he shows me another one in Payson. A few days ago, we had a long talk about the business Dax runs. Rack explained that all the permits are in Sofia’s name and that in addition to taking care of the twins and making meals she’s a driving force behind the dispensaries. It’s a different world to me, but I care about them, and what they’re doing is legal.

  Rack drives through winding roads that lead to Strawberry and Pine. We left before dinner and Rack is taking me to a steakhouse in Pine. The mountains are beautiful with the scent of pine trees in the wind. The temperature drops ten degrees. We have extra gear in the saddlebags in case it’s colder on our return trip.

  It’s a Thursday night. The restaurant has quite a few cars and motorcycles in the parking lot. The steakhouse sits back off the highway and is part of a cabin resort. The view, lit by the moon and the stars, is beautiful. I try to restrain my windswept hair after Rack assists me off the bike.

  “You’re beautiful,” he says and pulls me in for a soft kiss before we walk inside. I’m wearing a leather vest and long sleeved shirt Red loaned me. I’m also wearing the jeans I barely fit in when we arrived for the first time at the clubhouse. Sofia had one of the guys pick up a pair of black boots for me too. I actually feel like a sexy biker chick.

  Rack is in jeans and a vest similar to mine with a white T-shirt beneath it and his black boots. He has a concealed handgun in the waist of his jeans, which makes me feel safer.

  Rack takes my hand and we walk inside. I don’t question it when he requests a table away from the windows. I know he’s nervous about having me away from the clubhouse. We wait at the bar until a table is available. He drinks a beer and I have sparkling water with lime. Rack barely takes his eyes off me while we sit and wait.

  “You’re making me feel uncomfortable,” I whisper with a small smile.

  “You look incredible and I could eat you,” he says a little louder than he should.

  This is a new Rack. Okay, maybe not new but he’s at peace. The change is in every line of his face. There’s a calmness about him now. He’s giving up his entire way of life for me. I feel no anger or bitterness coming from him. He’s happy. I’m happy.

  “Tell me about Haiti?” he asks, which surprises me.

  I’ve never told Rack I was in Haiti. “My brother must have mentioned it to you.”

  “Your brother was incredibly proud of his little sister.”

  So I talk and tell him about my experience and then about college and the degree I wanted before Kevin came into my life.

  “You’ll be able to go back to school. You can get a degree and do whatever you want,” he says after placing a warm hand over mine and squeezing my fingers.

  “For a little while, I just want to be a wife and mother.” God, I can’t believe I said that. Rack has never mentioned marriage.

  He strokes my cheek and moves my head in his direction. “Is that a proposal?” His lips tip up in the slightest smile.

  “No…um sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “Why not?”

  It’s going from bad to worse. “When the time is right, um, I think we’ll both know.”

  He leans in close and whispers in my ear, his hot breath sending shivers through me. “I’d marry you tonight. Our paperwork will show us as married. It’s a done deal, so don’t be shy about it.”

  So much love swells in my heart. Rack leans back and I smile. “Is that a proposal?”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Rack

  EARLIER IN THE DAY I passed Sofia on the stairway and she stopped me with a firm look and raised eyebrows. “You’re one idiot for passing up the chance to take a nap in the middle of the day with your woman. Just saying,” she adds before continuing upstairs.

  Yeah, I’m a man with a thick skull and it takes me thirty seconds to figure out what she’s talking about. I think back to the conversation about the nap and Beth’s flushed cheeks. I realized tonight was the night and my dick grew hard. It took a few minutes of thinking about bike parts to deflate my erection so I could walk through the main room.

  A short while later, Beth asked for a ride on the bike and I knew there was something in play. Her blush totally gave it away. Two hours after reluctantly agreeing, I put a plan in motion.

  Now we’re at the steakhouse bar and a hostess shows us to a table. Beth has no idea that several Desert Crows members followed us in the club van. I don’t want her to know. This night needs to be special.

  I order a bottle of wine and think back to long conversations with Moon about the perfect wine. My law enforcement family never taught me the details of fine dining. Moon is as refined as they come. His seldom seen smile and intense eyes hold an intelligence that covers everything from wine to art. I’m a beer and jeans guy myself. But tonight is special and I’m glad some of Moon’s tutelage wiped off on me.

  Our waiter returns and we go through the ceremony of breathing and tasting the wine. I have him pour a glass for both of us. Beth almost covers her glass but stops herself. I smile and order. Beth wants a large juicy steak and I make it two. The waiter leaves and I lift my glass.

  “I’ll take a sip but I really shouldn’t,” she says guiltily. She’s had no alcohol while nursing Carson.

  “A sip only.”

  She lifts her glass to mine. “Beginnings,” I say, and we both take a drink. After our glasses are resting back on the table, I make my pitch. It’s not by any means eloquent. “What I said earlier was a proposal, Beth. I love you. Will you marry me?”

  I hold her gaze and remove the ring from my pocket, holding it out to her with my left hand. It’s not in the velvet box. I left that back in my old room at the club. The platinum band has inlaid diamonds, and I hope she likes it. If not, we’ll chose something she does like. The ring actually means little to me. It’s what it symbolizes that matters. After I gave in to Beth’s request for a ride tonight, I left the clubhouse, drove twenty minutes to Payson, and bought the ring from a small local jeweler. I also sent Curly on another errand, which will complete our evening. If she says yes.

  I reach across the table with my free hand and wipe the tears from her cheeks. The answer shows clearly in her eyes and the loving expression on her face. I stand up and walk the short distance between us to pull her into my arms. I don’t care who’s watching. If I don’t kiss this woman right here right now I’ll go insane. Her lips are so incredibly soft and taste like lime from her earlier water and red wine. The combination drives me wild and my hand slides to her ass so I can pull her fully against me. Breaking the contact is nearly impossible but I have a feeling we’re seconds from someone kicking us out of the restaurant. I move back enough to hold the ring out again.

  She lifts a shaky hand and I slip it on her finger. People around us clap and Beth’s cheeks flush deep red. I kiss her again. It’s required, and the people around don’t seem to mind. When we separate, another round of applause ensues and then our audience returns to their dinner.

  “Yes,” Beth whispers before I let her completely go and we return to our chairs.

  We do very little talking. Every few minutes she gazes down at the ring on her finger and smiles. In my post-war life I gave up this dream and now I have it back. Beth and Carson are all I want. Once we finish eating, I pay the bill, leave a larger than necessary tip, and walk Beth outside. I get on the bike and place my hand out.

  “I need my jacket,” she says.

  “No, we have a room. It’s a very short drive.” I can’t see her blush but I know it’s there. Curly rented the cabin and delivered the key to me minutes before Beth and I left the club. It’s the nicest cabin at the resort with a hot tub and fireplace. I wonder what the staff thought of Curly with his rough demeanor, bald head, and long beard. I drive down a lane that looks out over the canyon and locate our cabin.

  I grab the saddlebags after we’re off the bike and then open the door. Except for the bathroom, it’s one large room. I turn on muted lights and walk over to the fireplace. One switch does the t
rick and we have flames. I turn and gaze at Beth. Her strange expression is not what I expected. I walk forward and take her cool cheeks between my palms. “I’ll always protect you. If you aren’t ready for this, just say so. We can curl up in bed and talk.” I give her the famous Street brothers’ smile. “And kiss. I love kissing you.”

  She wraps her right arm around my shoulder and gives me the slightest, cutest pout. “I don’t mind kissing but I want so much more.” Her left hand goes to my erection and she makes it perfectly clear what she wants.

  “Are you ready?” I ask against her lips.

  “I’m so ready it hurts.”

  The small space separating us is no more. Beth moves one hand up and releases my neck with the other. She grabs the vest and rips the snaps open. With a chuckle, I do the same to hers. Between laughter, because of our boots and kisses, we manage to get our clothes off. When we’re naked and standing in the soft light, I lift her in my arms and carry her to the bed. I don’t rest her down gently—I toss her high so I can hear her laugh. The dark world I left behind is no more. Beth is my sunshine and laughter rolled into love. She’s everything.

  Once her body sinks into the fluffy bed, I ruffle through my clothes and remove three condoms, tossing them beside her. I pounce. There’s not a square inch of her that will be left un-kissed. I’ve feasted on her breasts this past week, so I leave them alone for now and start at her neck. I run my nose across the soft skin that smells so delicious. I nip her throat with my teeth and feel her sigh as much as I hear it. I leave a trail of wet kisses while I explore.

  Her hands knead the skin on my shoulders. She digs her nails in because if nothing else I’ve learned about her sexual appetite, she enjoys marking me. I suck a section of skin at her neck and her nails give an extra bite.

  “Please, Rutherford,” she breathes heavily against my shoulder. I love when she says my full name. Only my family used it up until now. Beth is my family. She and Carson. I kiss down her chest and past her breasts until I’m at her belly. Her body has changed since giving birth. She’s lost weight. But this. The softest place on her entire body still has a small pooch that turns me on like nothing else. I circle her bellybutton with my tongue and her tummy quivers with laughter. God, I could slide my cock over her stomach and come.