Flux Flame (A Flame Moon Novel

by K. J. Jackson

  “A few trunks up in the loft. Plenty for your size and,” he looked Skye up and down, “a few that would fit Skye. Should be enough outdoor wear. You want me to order more?”

  “Maybe. We’ll take a look and let you know. Do you want to wait?”

  “No, I need to get back, I have a late season foaling mare. I’ll go get the food and be on my way.”

  Skye followed him to the door as Aiden lit the fire. “Can I help?”

  “I got it, doll. You’re not dressed for the snow.”

  Rudy disappeared out the door, going to the snowmobile and attached sled with boxes of supplies on it.

  Skye watched him through the window. “How far away does Rudy live?”

  “About thirty miles across the fields. About seventy-five via roadway.”

  She turned back to Aiden. “Do you guys have people everywhere?”

  Aiden chuckled. “Lots of places, actually. But not too many it’s uncontrollable. You know we prefer to be as under the radar as possible.”

  ~~~

  Two good nights worth of sleep, and a day spent cleaning and setting up the cabin, and Skye felt more normal. As normal as her guilty conscience would allow. She was still trying to place in her mind what she had done. What she hadn’t been able to stop herself from doing.

  But Aiden wasn’t going to let her wallow. He was waiting for her in the kitchen with fresh tea after she had taken a hot morning shower and found some clean clothes in the trunks in the loft.

  He handed her the cup. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I did some snow clearing yesterday.”

  Suspicion across her brow, Skye looked up at him and took the cup. “Snow clearing?”

  Aiden pointed to the window by the kitchen table. Skye went to it, blowing on and sipping her tea as she gazed out. About twenty feet from the cabin, a rather large area of snow had been cleared down to the frozen ground in an oval shape. Several paths led off from the main clearing, presumably connected to several of the smaller cabins. Past the tall snow banks, Skye could only see the roofs of the small cabins.

  “We’re training, aren’t we?” She didn’t turn back to her husband.

  “I think it’s a better choice than sitting inside here and letting your mind take you over.”

  Skye nodded slowly. He was right. The activity would do her good. It might right her mind. It might make her forget the incredibly awful, wonderful thing that had happened to her body after her attacks. After her kill.

  But training was Aiden’s answer for everything. Training her to be safe. Training her to be prepared. Training her to save the world, or at least the world of the Panthenites.

  And she couldn’t stop the thought from invading her mind. Should Aiden really be making her more lethal than she already was? It was clear she couldn’t control herself. It was clear she had lost all judgment.

  Aiden waited silently behind her. Damn him and his patience. Damn him and his understanding. He should have left her here. Punished her for what she did. Yelled at her. Condemned her. Anything that would make the horror of what she had done more real than the hazy memory in her mind.

  Instead, he waited behind her with all the time in world. Not pushing. Not demanding.

  Skye reached out and touched the cold window, her warm fingers fogging the glass around her skin. She nodded at her slight reflection against the grey of the day. “Okay. Let’s train. You need to come at me with everything you got…well, not everything. But bring it.”

  She could feel Aiden smile behind her.

  { Chapter 4 }

  Hours later, the white snow was marred with blood. Skye pushed and pushed and pushed. She broke through limits with her body, what it could do for her, in ways she never had.

  They worked their way from hand-to-hand combat, to small blades, to swords. Aiden challenged her, studied her, but remained as always, in easy control.

  The blood splatters were courtesy of slicing her own skin several times in quick attacks. Two through her thigh and one on her forearm. Since the springtime when she had shown up in Brigton, through the trainings in the east, through the battles in Mustique and Africa, she was finally getting used to the pain a blade cutting her flesh caused.

  It still hurt, but it didn’t slow her like it once did. But they were going to have to order more clothes if she kept shredding them like this.

  If anything slowed her now, it was the freezing cold. Even though the snow banks around the training field were tall, and blocked most of the bitter wind coming off the flat land, Skye’s ears were red, and she knew she was a step slow.

  She had never liked the cold. There had been too many cold bedrooms and thin blankets growing up. So after juvie, she had always found a train or hitched her way south during the winter time. And now she was stuck in the cold, slipping on the frozen ground and rolling in the snow. At least she was working hard enough to stave the cold off from getting to her bones.

  Puffs of breath came evenly from her mouth as she squared off against Aiden. He had switched to a dagger in his hand, and she had a long, thin sword ready over her shoulder. She didn’t bother to marvel at the fact that even in the middle of nowhere, there was plenty of steel around.

  Aiden watched her, his considerable form stark against the white snow backdrop. “Disarm me,” he demanded. “Get the blade out of my hands.”

  Frigid air filling her lungs, Skye lunged at him. Aiden slid to the side, and she missed in her swing, the tip of her blade slicing through an ice chunk on the ground. Her sword went up in a flash, taking a side swipe at the dagger.

  The metals touched for an instant, sparking. Two more strikes at the dagger and Skye successfully pushed Aiden back a few steps. Little victory.

  She went low to his left, a surprise move, and got an angle on his blade he wasn’t prepared for. With a swift swing, she came up at the dagger, sending it flying.

  Aiden dove above her to catch it, just as Skye’s blade swung straight up at the flying dagger, attempting to knock it beyond his reach. Her steel hit flesh instead, the edge of her blade sinking into the back of Aiden’s arm, just above his elbow. It went deep, but it didn’t break his movement. He easily caught the falling dagger.

  The cut didn’t stop Aiden. But it did stop Skye. Her sword fell with a thud on the worn ground.

  Horrified, her feet took her backward, away from the blood dripping off his arm.

  Horrified, because of the instant electricity in her veins. Instant and burning through her body faster and harder than either of the two times she had experienced it before.

  Horrified, because it came from Aiden’s blood.

  Aiden looked at her, thoroughly confused at her retreat. Of course he would be happy that she had gotten a direct strike in on him. Of course he would be happy at her skill.

  She turned and ran.

  The bathroom was the obvious choice. She barely made it in and locked the door before her stomach upended from the horrification in her body. Sinking to the wood floor next to the toilet, she curled into a ball, trying to stop the rapture from overtaking her pores. There had been no warning for this. And this was so much stronger.

  Her mind screamed, repelled. No. Not at the expense of Aiden’s blood. Not this. Disgust heightened as she realized that her body could so betray her mind. Her heart.

  She bore down. She would not feel pleasure at the cost of Aiden’s pain. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t.

  But the flood of intense pleasure battled her every moment, twisting her body against its will. Her body had been craving this. Begging for it. And she hadn’t even realized it was. Not until it happened. Not until she drew Aiden’s blood.

  Both her sight and mind slid into hazy.

  Skye had no idea how long she laid in the bathroom, no idea how long there had been insistent knocking on the door before the sound made it to her conscious mind.

  The waves of ecstasy going through her body were lessening. She uncurled her body slightly, trying to regain control of her muscles
. Her face was wet with tears.

  “Skye.” Aiden’s voice was muffled through the heavy wood door. “Skye, what is going on? Why did you run? You’ve been in there for a while.”

  Dammit. Shame pushed out everything from her mind, and stopped her tears. She had to hide this from him.

  She sat up.

  “Skye, talk to me.”

  She coughed and forced her voice into a normal range. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.” Skye grasped the long black sleeve of her top and rubbed the tears off her cheeks.

  “You’re not fine, Skye. You’re hiding from me and I can hear you crying.”

  With a deep breath, Skye reached up and grabbed the edge of the vanity, pulling herself to her feet. She took one look in the mirror and turned the faucet on, splashing cold water on her face, trying to wipe away the blotchy red around her eyes.

  “Skye.”

  “Really, I’m fine, Aiden. I’ll be out in a second.”

  Skye could hear footsteps retreating. Relieved, she took a few minutes more, scrubbing her face and eyes hard with a washcloth. The burst in her veins, as intense as it had been, was softer now. Still there, but not overwhelming like it was initially. She felt like she had regained some control of her body, enough at least that Aiden wouldn’t question her.

  When she stepped out of the bathroom, she walked into the common area of the cabin. Aiden was waiting for her. She forced her muscles to relax and prayed he couldn’t read anything on her face.

  “I have something to show you, if you’re game?” He held out a thick down coat to her.

  Confused, but happy he wasn’t asking questions, she stepped forward and took the coat. With a nod, he threw a bag over his shoulder, grabbed her hand, and led her out the front door.

  The day before he had shoveled several paths from cabin to cabin and around the grounds, and after winding Skye past the last of the six smaller cabins, he moved into the deep, untouched snow, effectively making a skinny path with his legs for Skye to follow.

  They moved along the flatness of the land, destination, nothing, as far as Skye could tell. How he knew where he was going, Skye could only wonder.

  Twenty slow minutes later, Aiden pulled up. In front of them, the snow disappeared to the ground, which dipped into a shallow cauldron. In the middle of the basin, a round pool of water steamed.

  “A hot spring?” Skye asked, pushing through the snow to stand next to Aiden. She wrinkled her nose at the sulfuric smell.

  “Yep. A hot spring. There are a few of them around. This one has good mineral content. Nicely balanced.” He looked down at her. “Are you okay with this?”

  Skye eyed the dark pool of water. Even with her fear of water, the spring looked incredibly inviting in her current messed-up state. She nodded.

  “Good. Then you’re going to sit in here. Relax. And then you’re going to tell me what happened back there. Why you ran and hid.”

  Skye avoided his eyes. Damn. So she wasn’t off the hook so easy.

  Aiden walked to the edge of the water and opened the bag. He pulled out two fluffy, dark blue robes, then folded them and set them on the bag so as to not get wet from the water or snow.

  “They put in some boulders along the edges to work as benches, years ago. Or actually, I guess I did most of it, since using me was easier than getting a backhoe to move them in.” He pulled his boots and socks off, then started to strip down.

  Skye moved up aside him, removing her own layers. “You said these were training grounds—did you train here?”

  “I did. Triaten and Charlotte and I trained here for a little while when we were teens. You’ll remember travel was different when I was young. We had to take a train and then horseback to get here, but it was still accessible enough to Brigton. And then I came back every few years or so to train youngsters.”

  “When did they stop using it?”

  “It was probably in the seventies, if I remember correctly. We can get even more remote in Canada, and there are other training sites throughout the world.”

  “Boarding schools for Panthenites?”

  “Something like that.”

  He pulled his shirt over his head and Skye caught sight of the long, bloody scab running along the back of his arm. She swallowed bile and turned from him, hoping her face hadn’t gone as white as it felt.

  Naked, Aiden slowly slid into the hot water, exhaling a whistle. He looked up at Skye. “Hot, because it is so cold out. But it will be good in a minute. So get yourself down in here.” He reached for her hand.

  Skye peeled off her pants and underwear, and grabbed his hand, avoiding any looks at his body as she stepped down into the water. She didn’t want her eyes to slide to his bloody arm again.

  Aiden was right, it was a rush of almost unbearable hotness that eased after a few seconds. She sat erect on the smooth stone, spine ramrod straight, until he slid an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into him. Gentle, and it forced her to relax on his wet skin. Hard, wet skin that she would normally be reveling in.

  Instead, she closed her eyes, trying to ignore the residual waves that still coursed through her bloodstream. The hotness of the water helped, draining her muscles of all tension, all fight.

  He let her relax for a long while, and his words were soft when they broke through the land of silence around them. “So what happened back there? Why were you crying?”

  Skye didn’t open her eyes. “I cut you.”

  “So? That’s happened before. And I’m absolutely fine. You know that. That was a good move you made. You deserved a bit of flesh for it.”

  Skye breathed in, the steam filling her lungs, and braced herself. She needed to face him when she told him this. And as selfish as it was to tell him, she had to. She couldn’t endure this alone. She was already half-crazy.

  Leaning forward away from his arm, she turned to Aiden and shifted in the water, her feet pushing off from the mushy bottom of the spring. Her legs came up and bent along his, straddling his lap, as her hands went on his chest just below water-level. He watched her intently, waiting. She met his eyes, noting the silver flecks in the blue flickering.

  “It was what happened after I cut you.”

  In slow-motion, Aiden’s face went from confusion, to understanding, to repulsion, to devastation. And Skye had to suffer it all, her legs tightening around him.

  Before he even tried to respond, the dam in Skye blew. “Oh god, Aiden, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know it would happen. I would never try to hurt you. It just happened and then it was in my veins again and I didn’t want it. I didn’t want it at all. And it was so strong. So much stronger than before.”

  Her hands slid to the wound on his arm, and she lifted his elbow, bending over and kissing the torn skin repeatedly. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I couldn’t stop it. And I tried. I tried so hard. And I couldn’t let you see it so I ran. I ran, and it was horrible, and I fought it, but it was so strong, and I don’t know what to do—”

  And then it happened. He pulled his arm away from her grip. Away from her lips.

  Skye couldn’t see through the tears blinding her eyes. Not that she wanted to watch her own devastation.

  But in the next instant, his hands came heavy around her back, unshakably gripping her body into his. Skye choked on the breath she no longer had, grateful he hadn’t just flung her aside. Hadn’t given her up as a lost cause.

  Her hands went to the back of his neck, gripping with all her might the dark wet hair curled to his skin. She swallowed sobs as she burrowed her chin around his neck. She still couldn’t see, but she didn’t care, his hands were still holding her.

  “Wait, Aiden, I can go back.” She pulled up to face him. “I can go back and erase it. It’ll be like it never happened.”

  “No. It won’t change anything.” He brought one hand to her face, thumb wiping away the tears under her eyes. “I know it happened. You know it happened. You felt it. You can erase it from happening, but we’ll both remember. We know wha
t happened.”

  Deflated, she afforded a slight nod. He was right. There was no forgetting what was in her body. What cutting him had done to her. The abhorrent pleasure it had produced.

  “I don’t know what to do, Aiden. Just being a Panthenite was so much. And now this. It’s too much. The Malefic in me—”

  His finger went over her lips, stopping her. “No. The Malefic in you is not you. You are stronger than it. The Panthenite in you is stronger than it.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “I do.” His jaw didn’t waver.

  Skye shook her head. “How can you believe in me so much?”

  Aiden slipped his fingers into her wet hair, pulling her forehead to touch his. “I know your soul. I know your instincts. I know your body. What I want to know, is how can you not believe in yourself?”

  Skye’s eyes went down. “I just feel like I thought I knew what I was. Who I was. Finally. But it all just slipped away in the past days. I don’t know who I am. And I sure as hell don’t know my own body anymore.”

  “Then let me remind you.” Tipping her face, he kissed her, his lips hot and slick from the steam, the grizzle of hairs on his chin assaulting her skin. Waking her up.

  It was precisely what she needed, and the choked whimper in her throat told Aiden exactly that. That she needed him to manipulate her. Invade her mind. Deluge her body. Push her to the edge of insanity, just so she could be sane again.

  He tilted her head so he could plunge deeper into her mouth, and Skye took him in, biting, teasing, begging. His hands kneaded the muscles in her back, sending shivers down her arms. Shivers that disappeared under the surface of the water as her hands went down on his body, tracing the cut muscles on his chest. On his stomach. His body even more delectable to touch with the sleekness of the water, which let her fingers dance.

  She leaned back, giving him full access to her neck, her chest, her breasts. And he left no nerve untouched as he bombarded her skin, making her feel the intensity of the wanting he could produce.

  Her nails on Aiden’s biceps dug deep into the flesh, insistent, as her body started to writhe under his tongue on her nipples. Her hips fought to gain position on his lap, and with a groan, he slipped a hand under her backside, lifting her slightly as he moved from the wall to gain angle.