Flux Flame (A Flame Moon Novel

by K. J. Jackson

  “You think?” He chuckled. “Take it with lots of salt. It’s easy to wax poetic about things I know nothing about, nor do I have any responsibility for. I live on a mountain, remember—I couldn’t live out there. Out there is too messy.”

  Aiden laughed. “Then I’ll remember to forget all you said when we leave here.”

  Leander smiled, then it faded. “I have been waiting. I have to ask. Helen. Is she well?”

  “Helen?” Aiden blinked at the abrupt topic change. Leander hadn’t mentioned Helen in all their time there. “She is well. She is part of the Panthenite trifecta of power. You know her then?”

  “Yes. Knew her.” Leander slowed, and his hand went the end of the scar along his cheekbone. His voice was soft. “That was a different life. This is good. She always needed to have control. So it is good she has it. Is she happy?”

  Aiden shrugged. “That, I do not know.” What was happy to an elder like Helen? He didn’t have a clue.

  Aiden waited, but Leander asked no more.

  That sat for a few minutes in silence.

  “She’s made for something big—big,” Leander’s arms swung wide, “isn’t she?”

  “What? Helen?”

  “No. I mean your beauty. You’re not just doing this for her, for you, are you? She was meant for something bigger.”

  “Yes.”

  “What?”

  Aiden looked out at the mountaintops. It took him a long time to answer. “She’s going to save the world. My world. Panthenite world. Malefic world. Human world. All of it.”

  “Hmmm.” Leander went back to twirling his beard. “Keep believing that.”

  Before Aiden could ask him what he meant by that, Leander got up and shuffled off.

  ~~~

  Skye heaved for air, the cold freezing the breath she exhaled. This was a good thing. It was dusk, and Aiden had just worked her over harder than he had since before the fire.

  They were down off the trail on the mountainside, below the tree line, on a small plateau. The area they had found for training had brush and fallen logs in it, but the space was open and large enough to train with swords.

  Most important, they had been at it for hours, and she hadn’t cut him, hadn’t tried, even though there were countless opportunities that Aiden had laid out for her. Skye recognized the clarity in her own mind, the control it afforded her, and the whole of the afternoon added another log to the flame of hope in her chest.

  Aiden held the aluminum water bottle in front of her face. Tip of the sword in the ground, Skye bent at the waist, leaning on the hilt. When she grabbed the water and looked up at her husband, he was smiling down at her.

  It was a smile she hadn’t seen in a while. A smile of pride. Not guarded, not covering worry, just a simple smile. It was an instant in time she actually felt like herself again, felt like her and Aiden were perfectly okay, if only for that one moment.

  She stood straight, fingertips still balancing the sword, and took several gulps of water. “That was good,” she said. “That was real. And it was okay. It was controlled. It was good.”

  The smile was still on Aiden’s face. “More than.”

  She eyed him suspiciously. “You’re going to make me go another round, aren’t you?”

  His hands went up to ward off the argument before it began. “You know I would love that. But I am just so happy right now about the past three hours, that all I want to do is sit and look at you.”

  “Okay, well that’s a bit much,” she teased, “but I’ll take it.” She looked up at the darkening sky. “Do we need to head back up to camp? I don’t want to worry Leander.”

  “We’ll be fine walking up, and I’m sure Leander could hear our steel and some of your shrieks echo up the mountain, so he won’t worry. Let’s go sit by the waterfall.”

  They moved out from the middle of the clearing, past the trail, and to the point where the icy stream that ran alongside the clearing, disappeared off the edge of the cliff. Sitting down on a wide flat rock, Aiden pulled a small bag of nuts from the jacket he carried.

  He opened it and held it out for her. Skye popped a couple in her mouth, then grabbed his jacket, balling it up and using it as a pillow after sprawling long on the rock.

  Aiden sat upright next to her, and she relaxed on her back as the clear dark skies brought forth a show of twinkling stars. Both of their legs dangled off the edge of the cliff, swinging. She had always loved this about the two of them, the silence. The easy silence. Not the awkward, questioning silence that had been theirs for too long since the fire. This was the silence she loved.

  Except for the stars and a sliver of a moon, a deep dark had swallowed the light. It was in that darkness that Skye finally thought it was time to ask.

  “Tell me about the soldiers, Aiden. The Panthenites. The ones I killed at the Folotto compound.”

  He tightened next to her. “You didn’t kill them, Skye.”

  “I did.” She sat up so she could look in his face. “And I regretted it the instant I jumped time, Aiden. I was just so angry. So scared after being in that pit. I reacted without thinking. And then I couldn’t admit what I’d done for a long time. I couldn’t admit I killed them.”

  Her hand went lightly on his arm. It flexed against her soft touch. “Tell me. What were their names?”

  “No.”

  “Their names, Aiden. Tell me. Tell me what they were like.”

  He shook his head. “Betrayal killed them, Skye. Evil killed them. Not you.”

  “Fine. I didn’t kill them. Now tell me about the soldiers I didn’t save.”

  “No.”

  “Aiden, look at me.” Her hand moved to his thigh, squeezing it.

  His eyes swung to her.

  “I need you to remember, remember when we first met. At the house, do you remember when I first saw your wall of pictures?”

  “Yes.” A flicker of anguish, of remorse, shot across his face, and Skye regretted having to bring the wall up. But she had to if he was going to understand.

  “You wondered why I didn’t run. Why I didn’t leave when I saw what you had done. The brutality by your hand.”

  His body flinched, and Skye thought he was going to get up and leave her. She gripped his thigh harder, holding it onto the rock. He made no more motion to move.

  “I didn’t leave because I saw the torture in your soul. Those deaths, they meant something to you. They still do.” She took a shaky breath. “And I need my deaths to mean something to me. What I did was abstract. I was so removed from it. It needs to be real. They need to be real. You need to tell me, Aiden.”

  Skye went silent, but she held her gaze on him, not giving up on the demand. Eventually, Aiden nodded with a relenting sigh. His arm went around her, enveloping her shoulders and pulling her into him.

  Her head on his chest, Skye braced herself when he took a deep breath.

  “Leopold Lechner was there. Born in 1782 in Austria. He was a warrior from the get-go. Not a natural leader, but one couldn’t have asked for a more dependable friend. Always the first to volunteer on a mission, and was never one to question—blind loyalty was more important. He lived in a beach hut in the Caribbean, and was a hobby botanist, but mostly he liked his hammock that swung over the waves.

  “Then there was Gaston Rouanet, and he was fiery, per his power. Give him a spark and he could create a maelstrom of flames. He was super-quick to anger, but also super-quick to forgive and forget. He was missing both pinkies. One he was born without. The other he cut off in some seedy tavern in Ireland after a drunken bet. And yes, I was there and tried to stop him. But he always said it evened things out for him. There were times we wondered about a split personality with him. He loved to needle all of us, and he knew each of our sore points. Which turns out, kept many of us grounded and humbled when we needed it throughout the years.

  “Gregory Volkov. Now he was a humble Panthenite. He could fight like the devil but was one big teddy bear. He fell in love with a human
every fifty years or so, and was devoted to the each of them until their last day. You almost met him, he was in Brigton a day or two before you showed up in town. He was headed down to Brazil, I think for the women. Most likely looking for his next great love.”

  Aiden made it through five more names before he stopped.

  Skye didn’t look up at him, but she did clear her throat. “You stopped.”

  “My chest is soaked by your tears, Skye. I’ll not have you tortured by this.”

  She wiped her eyes and tilted her head, looking at his chin. “More. I need to hear them all.”

  “No. I don’t want you tormented.”

  “And if I’m not, what does that make me? A monster?”

  His hand went deep into her hair, cupping her head. Achingly slow, his lips went to her forehead, brushing her skin. “I need you in peace.”

  “So you’d rather me be a monster than tormented? You need to tell me how you did it, Aiden. How you learned to live with the regret. I haven’t fully realized what I have become, but I know this is a huge part of it. If I don’t acknowledge all that I’ve done, I don’t know how I can move on. You have to show me the way.”

  “Fine. But there are a lot more to go.”

  “I’m ready.”

  For the next three hours, Aiden went through the rest of the roll call of the dead, giving each warrior’s life its due in remembrance.

  Halfway through the list, they both laid back on the rock, Aiden’s head on the pillow of the bunched coat, Skye’s on his chest. He kept one arm wrapped tight around her, staving off the cold. The stars kept both of their gazes.

  When Aiden’s voice fell silent, Skye whispered, “Thank you.”

  They watched the celestial movements in quiet. Skye needed the minutes to file away each and every name, each and every story Aiden just told her, into her mind. Into her heart. As painful as it was, she needed to carry all of them there, for her own sanity.

  Another hour passed before Aiden broke the cold night air.

  “I talked to Leander.”

  “You did? I didn’t think you two talked much.”

  “We don’t. Not unless it’s about popcorn. I’m beginning to feel really bad about not bringing any.”

  “Me too, but who knew? We certainly weren’t warned about that one.”

  “Popcorn aside, he actually strung some respectable sentences together.”

  “Yea, he has trouble with that.” She picked at the weave of his black shirt. “What did he say?”

  “He had some things to say about good versus evil.”

  Skye chuckled. “He likes to talk a lot of shit, doesn’t he? But some of it sticks true.”

  “It was somewhat grandiose. But he apparently sees your aura. Says the good is stronger than the evil in you.”

  “I didn’t know that.” She propped her head up on his chest to look at him. “Do you believe him?”

  Aiden smiled and brushed her cheek with the knuckles of his free hand. “I never needed a crazy man on a mountain to tell me your soul is good, Skye. I’ve never lost faith in that.”

  “I had.” Tears welled in Skye’s eyes, a couple escaping. “So thank you for believing enough for both of us.”

  “I always will, my love.” His thumb wiped a fat droplet away. “And I need something from you.”

  “Anything.”

  “I need you to imagine with me.” His hand left her face and he pointed at the dark expanse of the never-ending sky. “Look at those stars. Thousands of them. Imagine the millions of planets that circle them. Imagine how immense the universe is, and all the possibilities it holds. And how small we really are. It makes it not hard to imagine that we will soon be beyond this. That you will be what you were always meant to be. It is coming.”

  Her eyes came down from the heavens and she smiled at him. “Now that, is grandiose. You think too much of me, sometimes, Aiden.”

  He shrugged, his hand going into her hair. She knew she wasn’t going to convince him otherwise.

  Her hand slid across his chest, warming the tips of her fingers. She snuggled her head back on his shoulder.

  “But I do think you’re right. I think there is this edge that I’m teetering on, and if I can just get past it…” She took a deep breath. “If I can just get past it, I’m beginning to hope that I will be well. Well enough, at least. And I’m so close, I can feel it.”

  The edge came sooner than Aiden or Skye expected.

  { Chapter 13 }

  “What? No. Absolutely not.” Skye’s hand froze, rice-filled spoon halfway to her mouth.

  Sitting across the low mid-day fire, Leander leaned in at her, hands slapping his knees in excitement. “You know I’ve been trying to solve this puzzle—you—find a way—cutting—wham—there it is—so simple—so stupid I didn’t come up with it earlier.”

  Skye was still frozen. But her mouth moved. “Let me make sure I heard you right, you want me to kill Aiden?”

  “Yes, yes, yes. It is so perfect.” Leander couldn’t control his glee. “This is the way. Killing a Panthenite is the ultimate high.”

  “How do you even know that?”

  “How do you think, beauty? You kill Aiden—you feel something unspoken, unimaginable. There is nothing above it. Nothing more. You do that and you can control it. You will have it mastered.”

  The bowl of rice on Skye’s lap flew into the fire as she bolted to her feet. “What? Crazy fool. I am leaving this mountain right now—Aiden—we’re going.” She turned to her husband. “I don’t care what you think he can do for me. I don’t care what he’s done so far. This is too much. I am not going to entertain the thought of it.”

  Skye turned from the fire and stomped, disgusted, to the hut-cave. At the entrance of the hut, she stopped. Aiden wasn’t following her. She turned back.

  “Aiden?”

  He wasn’t moving. He sat staring at the crazy half-breed. Skye could see his mind firing, working through the possibilities.

  Shit. Now she didn’t have just one crazy fool to deal with, she had two.

  She had to get Aiden off the crazy train that was building steam. They needed to get off this mountain. Right now. “Aiden. We are leaving. This is not a discussion.”

  Leander turned to Aiden. “You see, don’t you? I can see you see. We cut her off completely, and then when she can stand it no more, she kills you. You see that this is what is needed, don’t you?”

  Aiden’s head cocked as he watched Leander. “You’re thinking she kills me, then sends back time to save me, aren’t you?”

  “Exactly! See, not so crazy after all.” Leaner slapped his knees in renewed excitement.

  Revulsion laced Skye’s words. “Leander, we are not an experiment, we are not your entertainment. This is an abhorrent idea. Aiden, I am packing up and going, come with me or not, but I am leaving.”

  Skye stomped into the cave and started haphazardly shoving their few items into the backpack. Sudden hands on her shoulders from behind made her jump.

  She didn’t even turn around.

  “Aiden, no.”

  His mouth was next to her ear, voice calm. “Skye, I know. I know what it seems like. But we have to think about it. We have to consider the idea.”

  “No.”

  “If Leander is right, if this is the consummate high you’ll ever feel from this addiction, and if you overcome it, you will have beaten it. You kill me, and then you send time back and save me. It is actually quite simple.”

  Skye turned her head, giving him her profile. “You know it is not that simple. You know…” Her voice choked off.

  “That I might not make the time shift. That I might just disintegrate in nothingness.”

  Skye could only nod.

  “It won’t happen. I will survive it.”

  “You don’t know that, Aiden.”

  “Do you not think I’m willing to take that chance?” He turned her body to face him. “Skye, you, your power and what you can do with it, it is more impor
tant than me, dead or alive.”

  “Strike those words from your mouth.” Skye’s voice hit an angry pitch. “You know I don’t believe that, Aiden. And you better damn well not either. So no. This isn’t going to happen. I need time to prove this. Prove I can control this. Control where I am right now. This is insanity.”

  Aiden’s hands slipped along her jaw, gripping her to his gaze. “No, this is the edge you were talking about, Skye. We’re here at it, right now. And I know you’re strong enough to do it. And I am strong enough to take you there. We will both survive it. I swear.”

  “You don’t know that. You can’t know that.”

  “Fate knows it. And I trust fate. We are here for a reason, Skye. This is it.”

  A soft groan escaped Skye and she leaned into Aiden, her forehead propped on his chest, head still shaking no. “This is madness. Madness. Are you sure Leander didn’t slip something into your water?”

  A chuckle came from deep in Aiden’s chest, and he wrapped his arms around her, fingers burying into the auburn hair above her ponytail. “It is crazy, I agree. But sometimes, crazy does work.”

  “This better be one of those times.”

  ~~~

  Six days later, when Skye was itching, desperate to send the Malefic ecstasy through her blood, Leander deemed it time. They went down to clearing that they had made into training grounds. Skye wanted to be in a space that she and Aiden owned, and this was as close as it came on this mountain.

  In silent single file, every step down the narrow trail, Skye felt sicker and sicker. She shoved the craving—what her body demanded she do—down, even as it clamped hard on her chest.

  How had Leander come up with this insanity? And how had she let Aiden talk her into it? Time and again over the past days, she tried to bow out of the plan, and each time, Aiden convinced her it was the right course—the only course. Each time she relented. And now she was walking to his death. Lunacy.

  She tried again to steady her hands, her arms, from their shaking. If only she could stop it. Stop what her body demanded she needed. Then there would be no need for this ridiculous plan. Her hands continued to betray her.