Flux Flame (A Flame Moon Novel

by K. J. Jackson

  “It is the latter. I die by my belief in her.”

  Triaten shook his head. “I hope not, my friend. I truly hope not.”

  Aiden needed to turn the conversation. “What did you mean when you said Charlotte’s not up to seeing Skye?”

  Triaten silently turned back to the bottle of scotch for one more hit. Swallowed and in his belly, he gave Aiden a run-down of Charlotte’s abduction.

  A low whistle escaped Aiden at the end of the tale. “Holy shit. She slept with him?”

  “She did.” Triaten’s grip on the glass tightened, and cracks started to form down the sides of it. He set it on the bar cart and stepped away, leaning on the arm of a leather chair.

  “And you’re okay with that?”

  “No. Yes. She was in a really dark place. And she thought I abandoned her. I did abandon her. So I have to be okay with it, whether I want to or not.”

  “That doesn’t sound like being okay with it,” Aiden said, crossing his arms across his chest.

  Triaten shrugged. “I love her, so end of story. I’m okay with it.”

  Aiden arched an eyebrow in question.

  “I am fine with it,” Triaten said. “I just don’t like thinking about it. And this is thinking about it.”

  “And how is she, is she fine with it?”

  “I don’t know. I think. But since we’ve been back…how can I describe it…” Triaten looked down, pressing his thumbnail into the leather of the chair. After a moment, he looked up at Aiden. “She’s here, present, I would say. I think she’s secure in us. But at the same time, she doesn’t seem fully here. Like her mind is off somewhere else part of the time. She covers it, or at least tries to, but I have no idea what’s really going through her mind.”

  ~~~

  Aiden interrupted Skye and Charlotte before they made it into the main house. Triaten wasn’t going to embrace Skye being back, not yet, and Aiden didn’t want to push it. He wanted to give Triaten a night to get used to the idea of them being back, even if Skye was crestfallen at the news.

  The only reason Skye didn’t fight it, was that Aiden whistled and produced Rafe, which was enough to send Skye back into laughter as the dog tackled her. Still, her feet were slow getting into the jeep to head home, but she did, and Rafe licked her hand the entire ride.

  Parked at their house, Aiden pulled a bag of groceries, pillaged from Triaten’s refrigerator, out from the back of the jeep. Stewart would be peeved, but it was a small price to pay for being able to stay in and eat breakfast in their own home.

  Rafe immediately bolted from the jeep to investigate all his territory that he hadn’t marked in months. Skye smiled with a shake of her head as he galloped through the snow and disappeared into the woods. She was forgotten so quickly.

  Aiden went first, making tracks in the snow to the front door. There had been some melt-off, but the drifts were still up to Aiden’s knees. Inside, chilly air welcomed them home. They could have had someone stop by and turn on the heat, but Aiden hated having anyone in their house other than Triaten and Charlotte.

  Heat on, they both headed into the bathroom to clean up. Skye undid the braid in her hair and attempted to work through her snarled hair, while Aiden took a quick shower and shaved off the scruffy beard mountain living and travelling had produced. Even after leaving the mountain, the only cleaning they managed in that part of the world were quick dips in freezing streams.

  By the time he exited the shower, the bathroom was fully steamed, and Skye had made little progress with her hair. All she wanted was to get under the hot water and wash the months of filth off. As for her hair, she was just going to have to hope for the good graces of a lot of conditioner.

  Skye swiped the fog away from the mirror only to see Aiden’s slick, naked chest passing behind her. A familiar ache flooded her body. An ache that was months overdue. Granted, during the last two months there hadn’t been any convenient opportunity. But Aiden had never needed convenience, he created his own opportunities.

  So Skye wasn’t sure what to think of his lack of interest in her body. But it was suddenly glaringly obvious—and gut-twisting—that he hadn’t touched her since they went dark in Montana, since they started their trek half-way around the world.

  Just as she was building the courage, on the precipice of saying something, Aiden left the bathroom with hardly a glance in her direction. She sighed. And now he wasn’t even looking at her. Skye wiped the fogged mirror again and looked at herself. Her bird’s nest hair laughed at her. She couldn’t even think about approaching him until she cleaned up.

  Emerging barefoot an hour later, Skye’s chestnut curls were smoothed down her back, behaving. As tired as she had been when they walked in the front door, removing pounds of filth from her body had lightened her limbs and somehow woken her up.

  She found Aiden not in bed asleep, but in the kitchen. In boxers, he was peeling carrots in the sink. A substantial pyramid of shiny clean carrots sat on a paper towel next to the sink.

  Skye tightened the belt on her robe and leaned her hip on the counter next to him. She grabbed and carrot and took a bite, looking up at him.

  “You should go get some sleep,” Aiden said, eyes not leaving his busy hands.

  “I’m not tired.” She took another crunch of the carrot, and watched Aiden’s arms, mesmerized by the muscles twitching. “I have no idea what time zone I’m in. You’re not in there sleeping either.”

  “You’ve been through a lot, Skye. Just go and let your body rest. We’re finally home.”

  Skye finished the carrot, silently chewing, staring at his face. He still wasn’t looking at her. She actually felt like a real person again, after months of crazy piled on top of more crazy. And he wasn’t looking at her.

  “Are we home?” She put her hand on his wrist, stilling the peeling. “No more kid gloves, Aiden. This needs to stop.”

  She took a deep breath. What was it going to take to get him to look at her. To see her again? Her heart tightening in her chest, she moved her hand from his wrist to his bare chest.

  “Aiden, you haven’t touched me since before Leander’s mountain.”

  “You need to rest, Skye.”

  “No.” Skye ducked under his arm and slid between him and the sink. She wasn’t going to let him ignore her, despite the raging doubts in her mind. Despite the unthinkable possibility that he didn’t want her body anymore. Both hands went to his chest, fingers curling into the warmth as she looked up at him. “You have seen me so dark, Aiden. I’ve done such atrocious, unforgivable things. And now my deepest fear is what you must think of me after all of it.” She steadied herself against her next words. “I don’t want it to be true…but if you can’t touch me after what you’ve seen of me…”

  “Skye, this is nonsense.” He kissed her forehead. “You’re really tired. You need to just go rest.”

  Skye swallowed a choke. She had no idea until the words came from her mouth, how desperate, how truly haunted she was by his lack of interest in her body.

  Her head went down, and she stared at the short hairs that trailed down his lower belly. “If you can’t be with me, I understand—no, that’s a lie. I don’t understand. I never could. But I don’t blame you. You have given me so much. You owe me nothing.”

  Aiden rested his forearms on her shoulders. Skye resisted the urge to curl her head onto them. Instead, she looked up at him, insistent.

  “Skye no. It’s not you. Don’t do this to yourself.”

  “Then what is it? Does your body not need mine anymore?”

  “No, it could never be that. It’s me, it’s my mind.”

  She blinked hard at his words. “What?”

  He opened his mouth, then stopped, shaking his head.

  “No. You can’t be quiet about this, Aiden. Tell me.”

  He sighed. “It’s me. It’s us. Where we’ve been. What we’ve done together. It wasn’t just you that went to a dark place. It was both of us. Both of us doing, feeling things that were
unfathomable. So now. What if us being together now is not as good as the ecstasy you feel when you hurt something? As what we did. What if it pales in comparison? I used to be able to take you to heights, Skye. What if I can’t anymore?”

  His arms slid off her shoulders and he set the peeler and the carrot down onto the counter. He took a step backward. A step away from her. “What if us isn’t as good? What then?”

  “Aiden, please, there’s only one way to find out. My body needs yours. We can be just as good. We can.”

  He rubbed his forehead. “Skye…”

  “Please, Aiden. Just touch me.”

  She dropped her robe and took one tentative step to him.

  “Please, I’m begging you Aiden, just touch me. Please.”

  His hand went out to her, not fast, not harsh. Slow, like lead was on his arm. His thumb eased onto her lower lip, smoothing it, trying to steady the tremble.

  “I can’t lose us, Skye. You are everything to me. Everything.”

  “Prove it.”

  His hand eased along her chin, sliding under her wet hair. Skye tilted into his palm, aching for it.

  It was then the languidness ceased. And then, an urgency like no other brought Aiden’s body like a brick into Skye.

  She was off her feet instantly, shoved back onto the counter, his mouth on hers. Body on fire, her thighs hit the cold granite, and she wasn’t sure if the jolt to her hot skin was pain or pleasure. Carrots tumbled to the floor as she spread her legs, drawing him into her.

  Skye’s head reeled, dizziness setting in, spinning the room as Aiden’s hands flew across her body, insatiable in their need to feel every pore, every muscle that he had gone too long without.

  For the life of her, she couldn’t fathom a thought as to why it had taken so long to get back to this. Aiden’s fingers on her body. The complete penetration of her mind, of her senses. She needed him in her.

  Ripping her lips from his, she attacked his chest with her mouth. Even with the shower, his skin offered the saltiness her tongue had grown to crave. She slid his boxers down, letting gravity help. Her hands went under his arms, around his back, and she tugged, ripping at the long muscles of his back, trying to persuade him, pull him into her. He held back.

  Her chin rested in the line down the middle of his chest, and she looked at him with desperate eyes. Her breathing had stopped, along with her heart, fear flooding her. Could he really deny her? Not now.

  “No,” Aiden said, his voice gravelly through thick breaths. “We’re not doing this. Not in the kitchen.”

  He picked her up, holding her just above the satisfaction her body screamed for. He turned, walking down the dark hallway to their bedroom. Her legs wrapped around him, Skye writhed, trying to slide down, trying to connect their bodies.

  Aiden chuckled and lifted her higher in front of him, grabbing a nipple in his teeth as punishment for her lack of cooperation. His fingers slipped into her folds as he walked, simultaneously soothing and stoking her need. Her writing pitched harder.

  Aiden strode across the floor of the bedroom, ignoring the bed.

  “No bed?” Skye asked, her voice a low moan as he passed the crisp grey linens.

  “I want you here.” Aiden didn’t stop until he landed their bodies against the glass of the window wall. “High above everything.”

  Her back hugging the smooth glass that ran the width of the house, Skye arched against Aiden’s assault on her body. Her arms went out wide, fingertips gripping, trying to gain traction on the window. There was none.

  She tightened her legs around his waist, but his hands wrapped on her hips held her steady. She was at the mercy of Aiden’s pace, and the acceptance of that fact only drove deeper her desperation for him.

  Her breath shallow, she wrapped her hands around his biceps, fingers unable to dent his hard muscles. His mouth had moved to her neck, and unable to hold in a guttural moan, she leaned into his lips, letting them electrify her. The tip of him nudged into her.

  Without warning, her breath caught and Skye froze. She gasped, trying to hide the hiccup in her motion. Terror seized her. Terror because her veins were alive, tingling through her body. So very like the Malefic ecstasy she had battled hard to control, but also so completely different.

  Even in her terror she recognized that. This was different. Better. But unknown. And she didn’t think she could do battle with another unknown.

  She turned her head, her temple and cheek flat against the smooth chill of the window. Her eyes cracked to see the moon lighting the valley, shimmering off the snow-clad pines, and sending shadows into the depths of the mountain chasm far below. The height did nothing to steady her head. Her mind began to spin.

  Skye closed her eyes and pushed her temple hard into the glass, trying to gain control back of her body. This body that, at every turn, challenged her, tempted her to lose herself.

  Aiden pulled up from her neck. He paused, his breath on her hot as he searched her face. He moved in, his lips pulsating as they brushed her cheek. “You’re holding back. Stop.”

  Skye froze again. She thought she had hidden it.

  Aiden moved a hand to her face, his thumb went under her chin, and his fingers slid between her cheek and the glass. He turned her head so he could see her green eyes. Skye squeezed her lids shut, then forced them open, knowing there was no fighting both her body and Aiden.

  His grip on her face tightened. “No holding back, Skye. Not now.”

  “It’s just…I don’t know…”

  “You do. Let it go. Whatever it is, let it go. I’ve got you. Now let it go.”

  Ferocity unleashed at his words, and Skye’s fingers went into his hair, dragging his mouth to hers. Using every muscle in her legs, she strained against him, forcing her body downward, pulling him deep into her. Filling her. Finishing what he started.

  Her veins exploded with this new fire when he reached his hilt. And as he dragged himself out of her, the fire coursing through her ebbed. Back and forth her veins went, reacting to every nuance of Aiden’s strokes.

  His hand went to her breast and she couldn’t feel it, so consuming was the building sensation inside her body. Skye didn’t know if she was screaming or crying or silent. She knew nothing of what her limbs or mind or mouth were doing. The torrential surge against every nerve in her body had cornered her into an utter loss of everything.

  Everything except the feeling of Aiden in her. He had her.

  A growl filtered into her ears, breaking through the pounding in her head, and with it, an eruption deep within her. She only realized it was Aiden’s, and not hers, when the second explosion hit deep in her core, and flooded her body with an agonizing release.

  There was no controlling even the smallest muscle on her body, and realizing it, Aiden supported the whole of her, stepping backward from the window to collapse into the leather club chair.

  Though exhausted, Skye couldn’t fall asleep against the reverberating shocks assailing her body. She knew Aiden stayed awake as well, not because she could lift her head to see him, but because she could once again feel her skin, and his fingers trailed endlessly up and down her spine.

  Skye attempted several times to open her mouth and speak, without success. On her fourth try, she got sound to leave her lungs.

  “Proven?”

  Aiden laughed, his chest shaking her curled-in body. “Proven. Without doubt.”

  She turned her head into his chest, warming the tip of her cold nose on his hot skin. “I don’t know what that was in me, but I’ll take it.”

  “You will not hear me ever complain about it.”

  She tilted her head up as she twisted her body, trying to get even more of his warm skin on hers. She rested her chin on his upper chest, her nose right under his jawline.

  “But if that’s the new normal, we’re going to have to plan that into the day,” Skye said. “At least the recovery time. How long have we been sitting here?”

  “Hour, maybe two. And I’d be ha
ppy to pencil—scratch that—ink it in, daily.”

  “Jeez, that long? Did Rafe come in?”

  “I heard the dog door swing about a half hour ago. He’s probably eating carrots.” His hand went into her dry hair, twisting a curl around a finger. “Time to finally get into that bed you’ve been craving?”

  “It would be nice, but moving my mouth is about the extent of my abilities right now. Can you move?”

  He kissed her forehead. “I’ve got you covered, my love. I’ve got you covered.”

  { Chapter 20 }

  It was amazing how quickly life lulled back into normal. Even Triaten moved into acceptance of Skye’s presence. Angry, then hesitant for days, the more time Aiden stuck Skye in front of him, the more Triaten eventually thawed. Aiden insisted they go up to the ranch every day, so Triaten couldn’t avoid proof of Skye’s new, mostly normal, mental state.

  Two weeks passed, the snow was starting to melt thanks to a wave of early spring warmth, and Aiden and Skye had just come into the kitchen from the early morning sun. Rafe trailed in, passing them and settling himself down at Triaten’s feet at the table. Triaten was alone in the kitchen, sitting at the large wood table, absent-mindedly picking at grapes as his eyes were trained on the tablet in front of him.

  He nodded at Skye and Aiden as they took off their coats and hung them by the back door. Aiden walked to the table, straddling the bench and picking up a croissant at the breakfast buffet lining the middle of the table.

  “Char not up yet?” Aiden questioned, and took a healthy bite of the bread.

  Triaten shook his head. “Nope. Late night, I guess.”

  “It’s just not like her not to be the first up.”

  Triaten looked up at Aiden with a smirk and a shrug.

  “Ah. Okay then. I’ll ask no more.” Aiden pointed at the tablet. “How’s the new tracking software working out on there?”

  After the losses in Africa in the fall, it had become more important than ever to have instant location and accessibility to all warrior Panthenites. It had taken work, but Triaten had convinced most of them the tracking chips were a necessary evil. It was testament to Triaten’s influence and negotiation skills that the majority of Panthenite soldiers had them implanted. Plus, they vibrated in an emergency, cueing the soldiers to contact Triaten or the elders.