With an irritated groan, she put her sandwich aside again and fished her cell out of her purse, surprised to see Shane’s name on the screen. She told herself it was no wonder he was calling, after the meeting yesterday had gone so well, and she was glad it wasn’t the annoying police department again with yet another attempt to bulldoze over her resolve not to discuss Aidan with anyone. And yet … she didn’t know if she preferred this conversation over the presumptuous cops.
“Hello?”
“Hello, Thorne.” He sounded cheerful. “Is this a bad time?”
“No, it’s fine,” she replied curtly.
He didn’t seem to notice the slight irritation in her voice. “I wanted to thank you for your help yesterday,” he went on good-humoredly. “Without you I wouldn’t have known how to even talk to Brady.”
Thorne felt a bitter taste in her mouth as she leaned back and stared at the blank computer screen on her desk. “You would have managed just fine without me.”
“I don’t think so.” His voice resounded earnestly in her ear. “If you hadn’t been so accommodating—”
“What? How did you think I was going to act?” she cut him off brusquely.
For a moment the line was silent, and then Shane asked gloomily, “Did something happen?”
“No, nothing happened.”
“But why are you suddenly so … so …”
Thorne was yet again grateful she had her own office as she hissed, “This angry?”
“Yes,” he said truthfully. “Yesterday everything was okay, wasn’t it?”
“Yesterday Brady was with us, Shane.”
There was a sigh on the other end. “Can you please speak plainly with me?”
She was annoyed by his arrogance. Did he really think everything was forgotten and forgiven, just because they’d eaten pizza together without her going for his throat? “Just because we hung out yesterday doesn’t mean everything’s fine, Shane. I haven’t forgotten what you did to me seven years ago.”
“Then why on earth were you so accommodating and relaxed yesterday?”
“I agreed to that meeting only because Brady wanted it. I wanted to make it as easy and nice for him as possible. What, am I supposed to let him see how angry I still am with you? No, I want him to get to know you without interference from how we feel about each other.”
“Do you really think that’s going to work?”
Thorne felt her hackles rise. “Yes, I do,” she countered snappily. “If only because I am not the type of vindictive woman to live out her anger on the back of her child.”
“I never insinuated that, Thorne.” He uttered another sigh. “But what am I supposed to tell him when he asks why I wasn’t around all those years?”
She made a point of sounding patient. “I’ve already told him it’s nobody’s fault that he doesn’t know you yet.”
Shane made a surprised sound. “You did?”
“Yes.” She swallowed and briefly pressed her lips together before adding as casually as possible, “He knows only that you didn’t know anything about him and that I wasn’t able to find you. He’s only six—he wouldn’t understand anything beyond that.”
“If you say so.”
She registered that his voice suddenly sounded bleak and cheerless, and she didn’t understand why he wasn’t relieved to hear that. But didn’t want to waste time pondering his sensitivities. “You’ll get to know him, Shane.”
“Thank you.”
“Because that’s what Brady wants,” she added rigorously.
“But you don’t?”
Her hand clutched the phone more tightly. “I’m simply trying to do what’s best for my son.”
“That’s not an answer, Thorne.”
“That’s the only answer you’re going to get.”
He groaned, but before he could say anything more, she plowed on, “And speaking of things that make me angry, you can tell your colleagues to leave me alone already!”
“What colleagues?”
“As if you don’t know that!” she snapped.
“Thorne, I’m serious—”
“Me, too!” She cleared her throat loudly. “My lunch break is over. I’m hanging up.”
“Thorne?”
She groaned. “What? What is it?”
“Brady is our son,” he said firmly.
Then there was a click. He’d hung up on her.
She stared angrily at the phone in her hand, resisting the urge to throw it against the wall. Hell, she felt like throwing Shane against the wall, if only that were in any way possible. His self-righteous manner bothered her greatly. She wondered how any man could be blessed with such a heap of confidence. At twenty-two, maybe she’d admired his cockiness, but today it made her bristle.
She switched her computer on and went back to the unfinished report she’d been working on. It occurred to her suddenly that when they’d been together all those years ago, they had never really argued. And now she had realized that it was only because it had all been a farce—part of his plan to ingratiate himself with her. Constant fighting would have been counterproductive to the investigation, she guessed.
God, she’d thought Shane was actually the perfect boyfriend, and he’d certainly acted the part. He’d been attentive, caring, and very loving. While Aidan had excused himself when Thorne had been plagued by a particularly bad case of the flu, Shane had stayed with her, cooked and fed her chicken soup, and had even held her hair back as she vomited endlessly. She’d looked like a train wreck, and she could still remember her worries that Shane would take one look at her puffy face and take his leave. But he had taken care of her. He’d stayed. Until his infamous disappearing act.
The tender memory of his caring for her should have made her smile, but instead it served to intensify the bitter taste in her mouth. Yet another sweet memory proved to have been just a part of his goddamn job. You could even say he’d been paid good money to take care of her.
Thorne glanced at the picture frame next to her computer and managed a small smile at the Brady in the photograph, who was sticking out his tongue at the camera. Right from the beginning, it had been easy to love him because he’d been the sweetest baby that had ever been born. But Thorne was well aware of the fact that the memory of his father had also played a major role in her immediate love for her son. Even if his feelings for her had been all pretense and acting, hers had always been genuine.
Chapter 9
Thorne watched Shane and Brady standing together on the paved path of the park, putting their dark heads together to steer the remote-controlled car. She didn’t hide her smile because nobody was there to see it. She was sitting on a bench, wrapped up in her warm coat, the book she had brought open in her lap. The bestseller may have been very exciting, but to her, the two men before her were much more interesting. One tall and one small, they were both intensely focused on the remote, while trying to appear cool and casual at the same time.
No matter how easygoing they acted, Thorne could easily see that they studied each other covertly, treading cautiously on unfamiliar ground. She could also read her son’s admiration for his father in his rapt little face. Brady gazed shyly at Shane with a look that suggested hero worship and kept on his best behavior. Usually her son was confident enough to assume everyone would like him, but he obviously thought he had to put forth an effort to be good and likeable with his father. Thorne could understand his fear, but she knew it was unnecessary. It was just as plain to see that Shane was taken with his son completely.
As she noticed the way Shane looked at Brady, she felt herself soften towards him against her will. She wanted to remain angry with him. In her memories, Liam Gallagher had transformed into the unscrupulous Shane Fitzpatrick, a man who stopped at nothing, who had broken her heart to fulfill the duties of his job. The fact that he was really fond of his son and wanted to establish a relationship with the little guy jarred the image she had in her head.
When they both laughed and hig
h-fived, the corners of her mouth twitched, and then a smile played on her lips. Deep down, she was happy Brady was having such a good time with his dad, but she wouldn’t admit as much to Shane. He was wearing casual clothes again, like he had at the pizza place, and she was relieved. She didn’t like him in the suit that screamed “cop” from five miles away. Shane and Brady both wore jeans, almost identical running shoes, and dark sweatshirts under their heavy coats. It almost looked as if they’d coordinated their outfits on purpose.
“Mom, look!” Brady’s clear voice echoed across the park. “Look how well I can steer the car already!”
“I’m looking, yes,” she called, giving him a thumbs up.
“Look, Mom! Look how fast this thing can go!” The enthusiasm with which he was handling the remote was the same he exhibited when gobbling down pancakes or throwing candy into the shopping cart at the grocery store.
Shane’s melodic laughter followed his son’s exclamations of excitement.
An older lady walking in the park stopped next to Thorne’s bench and stood watching the spectacle of the two race-car drivers. “What a cute little boy you have,” she said, turning to Thorne. “And he’s so happy!”
Thorne closed the book in her lap and smiled at the gray-haired lady, feeling proud. “Thank you.”
“He’s the spitting image of your husband. Take good care of them both.”
It wasn’t the first time a stranger had commented on Brady’s looks or energy, but it was the first time someone thought Shane was her husband. Her smile faded instantly, but the woman didn’t seem to notice as she went on a little more about how handsome the two men were before taking her leave and walking on.
Thorne wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly feeling very depressed. And sure enough, as if Shane had sensed she was feeling vulnerable right now, he turned around and signaled that he was going to join her on the bench.
With mixed feelings, she watched him say something to Brady, whereupon the boy nodded eagerly, and then Shane buried his hands in his pockets and came walking towards her, unhurried and casual. Thorne didn’t want to be impressed by the figure he cut—it was hard not to describe it as “dashing”—so she stuck out her chin and stared straight ahead.
“He seems to like that car well enough.”
She scooted over as he sat down next to her. “You can say that again.”
“I went to this giant toy store and had no idea what he might like.”
“I don’t think you can go wrong with any type of car for a boy that age,” she said primly.
Shane kept talking as if he were sitting here with an old pal. “It felt so weird to be looking for a present for my son and not know anything about him,” he confided. “I couldn’t bring myself to tell the saleswoman who the car was for. Weird, right?”
“Very weird,” she replied testily.
“Are you cold, Thorne?”
She crossed her arms and shook her head. “I’m perfectly fine.”
“We could go somewhere and have a hot drink if you’re cold.”
A small sigh escaped her lips. “I said I’m fine, thanks. And you two are having a good time.”
“But you don’t seem to be having a good time at all.”
Thorne rolled her eyes and then looked into his grim face. “I’m sitting here reading my book and watching you play. What makes you think I’m not having a good time?”
“Maybe it’s the fact that whenever I look at you, you look as if someone rained on your parade?”
“You want to get to know Brady, if I’m not mistaken,” she said dryly. “It shouldn’t matter how I look at you.”
Shane pulled his hands from his pockets and patted his knees in an impatient gesture. “You hate me. I get that. But it would make me feel better if you didn’t look at me like I ran over your dog or something.”
“Who says I hate you?”
He snorted.
“Plus, I don’t own a dog.”
“Very funny, Thorne.” Shane made a face. “We need to resolve this, once and for all.”
“What is there to resolve?”
His expression was insistent, but also a little helpless. “Well, we have a son …”
“You don’t need to remind me of that. I okayed these meetings, remember?” He was sitting far too close to her. She scooted a little farther away from him and tensed, ignoring his scent of clean, masculine skin. “The only thing I want is for Brady to be able to establish a relationship with his father.”
“And I’m grateful for that, but …” He threw up his hands in frustration. “I think it’s stupid that I have to walk on eggshells around you all the time.”
She wrinkled her nose. “It hasn’t been two weeks since you appeared on my doorstep, Shane,” she said testily. “What do you expect from me? That I just up and forget everything that happened in a few days?”
“No.”
“Then what is your problem?”
“My problem is that the mother of my son keeps looking at me like she wants to castrate me!”
She narrowed her eyes in disgust. “Don’t worry, Shane. I’m not going to come near that part of you ever again.”
He dropped his head and emitted a frustrated sound. “Could we please skip the talk about my private parts?”
“It was you who started it, if I’m not mistaken.”
“I was just trying to express how you look at me, Thorne.”
She nodded in an exaggerated fashion. “I got your point.”
“Good.” He let out a sigh. “That’s a start.”
“A start for what?”
Shane lifted his head again and blinked in confusion. “For talking things out.”
She had to stop herself from laughing out loud. “Talking things out? Forget it!”
“You won’t even try to listen to me!”
She crossed her legs and nestled deeper into her coat. “I don’t see what good it would do.”
“Well, maybe we could get to a point where we understand each other better and get along.”
She doubted it. “Shane, I don’t care whether we get along. This is about Brady.”
“Exactly. Don’t you see that’s why we need to talk about what happened between us? For Brady.”
“I’m sitting here refraining from kicking you in the nuts. For Brady.”
“Dammit, Thorne.”
“Mom! Look!”
Her heart beat like a drum in her chest as she inhaled deeply, forcing herself to smooth the angry lines in her face. Then she waved and smiled at Brady, who was, fortunately, far too immersed in playing with his fabulous present to register the argument his parents were having. Thorne berated herself silently. She shouldn’t let herself get carried away with her emotions when Brady was present. And fighting with Shane obviously wouldn’t lead anywhere. He was a hopeless jerk who wouldn’t, in a million years, acknowledge that he had behaved despicably.
“Thorne—”
“Listen to me, Shane.” She looked into his face and ignored the fact that he was still far too handsome for her peace of mind. “It’s going to be like this: You will get to know Brady, and he will get to know his dad. For his sake, I will not argue with you when he’s around, and I won’t speak badly about you when you’re not. But none of that means that you and I will be friends.”
“Thank you,” he said sarcastically. “Sounds perfect.”
She frowned and stuck her chin out. “Do you have a problem with that?”
“No.” He raised his hands defensively. “If you want to harp on about ancient history for the rest of your life, fine.”
“Ancient history?” she hissed. “May I remind you that I didn’t even know your name wasn’t Liam until a mere two weeks ago! You betrayed me in the worst way possible.”
“If it makes you feel any better, Liam is my middle name.”
Thorne swallowed thickly. “That is not funny.”
“Do you see me laughing?”
She didn’t see a who
le lot at all right then because the tears that had been threatening suddenly spilled over her eyelids. She didn’t want him to see them, so she turned away from him and put her book in her purse while surreptitiously wiping her eyes. “It may have only been a job for you, Shane,” she said hoarsely, “but it wasn’t for me.”
“Thorne—”
“Brady is six years old,” she said, ignoring his fidgeting next to her on the bench. “For six years, I’ve thought about what a faithless coward Liam Gallagher was. But at the same time, I desperately wished he could be there to see Brady start crawling. Start talking, walking, going to school. And now, after six years of that wishing, I’ve learned that his dad wasn’t even with me of his own free will. I was nothing but a job he was assigned. So please excuse me if I’m not thrilled by your reproaches.”
Shane sounded much calmer when he softly replied, “I’m not reproaching you.”
“Good.” She sniffled and stood, then swore under her breath when her purse slipped from her trembling hands.
Before she could bend down to pick it up, Shane had done it for her. Thorne took it from his hands without looking at him because she didn’t want him to see her tears. She was close to losing it completely, and then she would sob uncontrollably.
She called to Brady, hating her high-pitched, shaky voice. “Brady, we’re leaving!”
“But, Mom! Just five more minutes. Please!”
She wiped her eyes and was about to yell at Brady to get his ass over here, when Shane interrupted.
“Thorne, I-I didn’t mean to …” he stammered, obviously daunted. “I didn’t want to …”
“Of course you didn’t want to! There were a lot of things you didn’t want to do.” She shook her head as if to shake off the entire discussion and swallowed against the lump in her throat. “I’ll call to arrange another outing for you and Brady.”
“Listen … Thorne, I really didn’t mean to open old wounds.”
She waved away his apology with a gesture meant to hide how upset and confused she felt, and then she turned to Brady, who was still playing with his car a few yards away. “Brady?”
Blast From The Past (The Boston Five Series #2) Page 10
