Her son threw her a pleading look. “Can I stay for a few more minutes, Mom?”
“No.”
“Only two more minutes. Please!”
Behind her, Shane whispered calmly, “I could bring Brady home in a bit, if you want to leave now.”
She spun to face him, too intent on unleashing her anger at him to care if he saw the tears in her eyes. “Do you really think I would leave my son alone with you?”
He flinched, and his expression betrayed shock. “He’s my son, too.”
“You keep saying that, but this is only the third time you’ve ever seen him.”
He furrowed his brow and crossed his arms over his chest. “You don’t think I would do something to my son. Good God!”
“That is not the point.” Thorne shook her head categorically.
“Then what is the point?”
“I never leave Brady alone with strangers. On principle.”
Shane stressed every word as he ground out, “I am his father, Thorne.”
“He doesn’t know you.”
“But you know me.”
After taking another deep breath, she looked straight into his light brown eyes. “No, I only knew Liam Gallagher. You, Shane? You are a complete stranger.”
“You’re doing this on purpose!” he snapped, stepping closer. “You’re trying to punish me.”
“Not at all.” Thorne put her bag over her shoulder. “You are his father, yes, but I don’t trust you, Shane.”
He took a step backwards and straightened, looking at her with a shuttered expression. “Is that supposed to mean I’ll never be allowed to see my son without your supervision?” he asked belligerently.
“It just means that you first have to prove to me that I can trust you.”
“And how is that possible when you refuse to even talk to me?”
She looked at him as she called, “Brady, come say goodbye to your dad. We have to go now.”
She had to avert her gaze as Shane awkwardly hugged a morose Brady and said goodbye to him. She refused to let herself soften. It was much simpler to remain angry.
***
“He’s brilliant, Heath. The coolest kid I’ve ever met. You know what he said to me the other day?”
“I assume you’re going to tell me whether I want to know or not,” Heath answered, amused.
Heath was trying to follow the basketball game on TV, but Shane, on the other hand, barely knew what was happening on-screen. He hadn’t even taken more than two or three sips of his beer, which he still held in his hand, all but unnoticed. For over half an hour, he’d been telling Heath every small thing that popped into his head about Brady, unable to shut up, even for a minute. The words tumbled out of his mouth of their own accord whenever he thought of his son.
He didn’t bother taking another swig of his lukewarm beer now, either, but took a short breath and continued, “We’re standing together in this park, trying out the remote-controlled car I gave him, and suddenly he asks me what ‘horsepower’ means. Have you ever heard a thing like that? At his age, I didn’t even know the word ‘horsepower.’ He really is extremely intelligent. And he’s very good at telling stories. You can’t imagine the way he goes on and on!”
“Oh, I believe I can,” Heath said with a chuckle. He pointed to Shane’s beer. “Why don’t you take a drink for a change? You’re talking my ear off.”
Shane didn’t even acknowledge that he’d heard him. Instead, he sighed loudly. “You should see him, Heath. He’s a great kid. Energetic, funny, and really clever.”
“That’s awesome, Shane. Honestly.”
“Thanks,” he murmured self-consciously. He raised the beer bottle to his lips, but when he took a small sip of the lukewarm brew, he knew it would give him a headache if he finished it. So he set the abandoned bottle down on the coffee table.
They were alone in his brother’s house, so there was no danger of being interrupted by anyone. That made it the perfect moment to ask for his brother’s advice. Heath was not just his older brother and, thus, the obvious person to turn to for advice, he was also his best friend. He knew he could talk to him about anything, so he didn’t hesitate further. “Heath,” he murmured darkly, “he doesn’t call me ‘Dad.’”
The sigh that escaped Heath’s mouth was not one of annoyance, but rather of sympathy. And then he proved his sympathy by turning down the volume on the TV and turning his full attention to Shane.
“Shane, the kid has only known you for a few days.”
“I know.”
“You’re expecting too much too quickly. Give him some time to get used to you being around. It’s going to be okay—just give it time.”
Shane raised his shoulders helplessly. “Sometimes he seems so reserved, and I don’t think that’s really his nature.”
Heath switched off the TV completely and leaned forward, looking at his brother with a half serious, half amused expression. “How many times have you seen Brady now? Three? Of course he’s a bit reserved, Shane. He knows you’re his dad, but he has no idea what type of guy you are. If I were him, I’d be more than reserved. I’d probably be rigid with fear.”
“But that shouldn’t be the case. I’m his father!”
“Yeah, but he doesn’t know you. How is he supposed to know how you’d react if he screwed up or made a mess? Any kid would be cautious in that situation. It’s perfectly normal.”
“Maybe,” Shane conceded unhappily. “It’s just that …”
“It’s just that what?”
He looked at his brother with a sigh. “Since I’ve found out about him, I just want to be with him—all the time,” he admitted sheepishly. “He’s my son, but I don’t have a clue what he likes, what his hobbies are, what makes him laugh. You know what I mean? Brady is six years old. There is so much I’ve missed, I don’t want to waste any more time.”
“I understand that completely,” Heath answered sympathetically. “All parents feel like that, Shane. Don’t you remember how hard it was for me in the beginning to let Joey out of my sight, even for an instant? I didn’t want to miss anything.”
Shane’s voice was heavy as he added, “The only difference is that you were there from day one, Heath. You haven’t miss a single part of your daughter’s life yet.”
“Maybe you need to let go of all the things you missed and focus instead on the things you get to do and experience with Brady from now on.”
Shane snorted. “If it’s up to Thorne, I’ll only get to see him after groveling in the dirt.”
He expected his brother to be on his side here, but Heath threw him a long look. “Maybe it’s time you did some groveling before this woman.”
“What?” Shane demanded, irritated. “Excuse me? She’s totally uncooperative! She doesn’t want to let me see Brady without her as a chaperone, and she’s being incredibly stubborn—just because she wants to punish me for the past!”
“In my opinion, she’s being as cooperative as you could’ve hoped, considering she lets you see Brady at all!” Heath shot back. “Any other woman would have fought you tooth and nail and maybe even called a lawyer to prevent you from seeing the kid.”
“But I’m his father!”
His brother exhaled a loud sigh. “Shane, would you please take your head out of your ass and think for a minute! You lied to this woman and then abandoned her. She had your child on her own, raised him on her own, devoid of support—”
“Dammit!” Shane railed at nobody in particular. “If I’d known of his existence, I would have been there for both of them!”
“And whose fault is it that you didn’t know? As far as I understand, Thorne even went to search for you—she wanted to tell you she was pregnant with your child. So she’s certainly not the one to blame!”
“Wow, thanks a lot! You’re my brother. That means you’re supposed to be on my side.”
“I am,” Heath replied, unfazed. “And that means trying to make you finally see that you screwed up royally, s
o that you don’t add any more shit to the pile. Because I want you to be a good father to your son.”
Shane balled his hands into fists and ground his teeth. “How many more times do I need to tell you that it was part of my job? The objective was to bust a gang of criminals—”
“Shane,” Heath interrupted him, his voice dark. “For months, you pretended you loved this woman. You even asked her to marry you, just to get close to her brother. I may be your brother, but I still think such tactics are among the lowest of the low.”
Shane studiously ignored the stirrings of his conscience. “What was I supposed to do? My sergeant—”
“You could have told your sergeant to shove his shitty idea where the sun don’t shine. Since when do you do things you don’t want to do?”
Shane ran a hand through his hair. “You don’t get it!”
“Then explain it to me, please. No Fitzpatrick jumps through a burning hoop just because some sergeant tells him to.”
“But if I hadn’t done it, someone else would have.”
“And? Is that supposed to be an excuse for lying and making a fool of this woman?”
“I didn’t make a fool of her …” Shane swallowed. “I liked her, okay? It wasn’t hard to pretend that I loved her.”
“Wow, that’s some consolation!” Heath said sarcastically. “Let me give you a hint: If you want to go on seeing Brady, I wouldn’t mention that last bit to Thorne.”
Shane scowled darkly. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
His brother leaned forward and placed his empty beer bottle on the coffee table. He threw Shane another disapproving look. “It means I don’t understand how you ever got a reputation as a womanizer. When I hear you talk about this stuff, I get the impression you must still be a virgin—and an obtuse one at that.” He shook his head incredulously. “It’s a miracle that you manage to find women who will let you into their pants.”
Shane was seething, but he didn’t want to beat up his brother in his own house. “Goddammit! I was twenty-three years old and had just been promoted from patrolling! Being part of that undercover investigation was my big break. My one chance! What was I supposed to do?”
“You could have said no.”
He stuck out his chin, pigheaded as ever. “Then some other cop would have gotten the job.”
“You can go on and on lamenting your lot and asking what would have happened if you’d refused to do it. But none of that changes the fact that your behavior was a bucketload of steaming crap. How is that woman supposed to feel?”
“And how am I supposed to feel when I can only see my son with her as company?” He sat up straight and pressed his lips together for a moment before flaring up again. “Mom no longer speaks to me, Kayleigh and Hayden are giving me the cold shoulder, and now you’re admonishing me as well! And then Thorne keeps looking at me like I’m responsible for all the evil in the world, and I have to get down on my knees in front of her in order to see my son! Couldn’t you at least be on my side for all of five minutes while I tell you my problems?”
“Jesus, Shane.” Heath shook his head. “Stop feeling sorry for yourself. It doesn’t suit you.”
“You don’t say? What suits me, then?”
His brother grinned suddenly. “What did you tell me once? ‘You are a pigheaded idiot who doesn’t need to be coddled.’ You also told me the Fitzpatricks are not a bunch of ‘whining sissies.’ Your own words. Eat them.”
“Is that supposed to be advice?”
“No.” Heath stood, collected the beer bottles, and brought them to the adjoining kitchen.
Shane turned to watch Heath return from his unnecessary task. “What do you mean?”
“I’m telling you that you don’t need any help making up for the past. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, you should make sure you see Brady as often as you can and show Thorne you’re serious about taking care of your son.”
“But that’s what I’m doing!”
“Good.” Heath nodded emphatically. “Then get down on your knees already and be grateful you even have that chance. Most women wouldn’t have given you that much.”
Shane took a deep breath and exhaled through clenched teeth before repeating, “Brady is my son as well.”
“Then do me a favor and for just a second imagine how you would react if some asshole did to Kayleigh what you did to Thorne seven years ago.” Heath narrowed his eyes. “Come on, what would you do if it happened to Kayleigh?”
Shane flinched. His hands automatically balled into fists. “I would beat him up till he couldn’t move anymore,” he answered truthfully.
The ticking of the wall clock above the TV set was the only sound for a long moment.
“Exactly.” Heath wrinkled his nose. “The only difference between it happening to Thorne or Kayleigh is that you sent Thorne’s brother to jail on top of it all.”
Shane had been holding his breath, but now he exhaled heavily. “I understand.”
“And what’s more: Kayleigh would have a large family to support her if something like that ever happened to her. Thorne had nobody.”
“I said I understand, Heath.” Shane held up his hands as if to ward off more uncomfortable truths.
Heath took a step toward him, his face serious. “It’s a good sign that Thorne is letting you see Brady. It shows how much it means to her that you get to know him.”
“But I want more.”
“Sure you do.” His brother nodded. “But that takes time. And even if that’s going to be hard for you, you should practice patience and learn to be grateful for what you get.”
“Who said I can’t be grateful and patient?”
The oldest Fitzpatrick rolled his eyes and snorted, as if that was the best joke he’d heard in a long time. “If your son is even remotely like you, you’re in for a lot of fun in the years to come.”
Chapter 10
Thorne held Brady’s hand and ignored her son’s protests. He complained that she was embarrassing and that he felt like a toddler. The fire department they were about to enter was located on a busy street, but the main reason for her insistence was that she needed the comforting feeling of holding his small hand in hers. Every time they met with Shane, she was completely rattled and had to suppress a nervous twitch. Afterwards, she’d feel exhausted and more depressed than ever before. It took all of her willpower not to burst into tears in front of Brady.
After their last meeting in the park a few days ago, she had been completely wiped out. Their fight had left her with a queasy feeling in her stomach that lasted the whole day. It had also brought home the fact that, while she was still angry with him and balked at being forced to spend time with him, she was unhappy about how things had developed between them.
“There he is, Mom!”
“He” was his dad, who stepped out from the large building and waved at them cheerfully.
Thorne had to let go of Brady’s hand as he ran up to his father as fast as his small legs permitted. Father and son greeted each other like old buddies, both beaming with joy. She registered the happy, welcoming smile on Shane’s face and felt a stab in her heart. She didn’t want to be jealous of her own son, but she remembered that, once upon a time, Shane had looked at her with a similar expression. And one glance at Brady’s face told her that he was just as taken in by Shane’s wide grin as she had been all those years ago.
The old lady in the park had been right. Brady’s dad was a very handsome man. The intervening years hadn’t changed that, as Thorne acknowledged to her great vexation. Shane Fitzpatrick possessed the same power Liam Gallagher had. He made her stomach flutter and her heart skip a beat. But, contrary to back then, she was no longer blind. She now knew what was hidden behind that perfect smile, those warm, light brown eyes, and that devilishly handsome face.
Fortunately, another man emerged from the door next to Shane now, distracting her enough that she didn’t stare at her son’s father like a slow-witted idiot. The grin with which the
newcomer looked down at Brady was identical to Shane’s, so she concluded that the tall man with the dark eyes must be Shane’s brother, a lieutenant at this station. She was unsure what to think of meeting another Fitzpatrick, so she approached them with a mixture of reservation and mistrust.
“Brady, this is my older brother, Heath. The firefighter.”
“Hi, Brady,” the man said in a friendly voice, holding up the palm of his hand for a high-five, which Brady gave him obligingly. “Have you come to watch over my shoulder today?”
“Yes!” Brady’s excitement was written all over his face. “Can I look at a fire truck?”
“Of course. You can even climb in and see what it looks like inside. If you want to, that is.”
Brady’s mouth dropped open, his eyes wide in astonishment. He threw a look over his shoulder at Thorne. “Mom! I’m going to sit in a fire truck!”
She smiled gently and stroked his hair. “That sounds like a wonderful afternoon.”
Shane’s brother chuckled at Brady’s grand announcement and held out his hand. “Hello, Thorne. Nice to meet you.”
She shook his hand with a shy smile. “Thanks for inviting us over. Brady is somewhat obsessed with fire trucks. And firefighters.”
The man chuckled again and winked at her. “Sounds like a typical Fitzpatrick to me.”
She didn’t comment on that. Instead of greeting Shane with a handshake, too, she merely nodded at him. After receiving yet another phone call from that obnoxious Captain Greene, who had told her that she had to meet up with him, she was not in the mood to act as if her world was all roses.
Fortunately, Brady was completely distracted by the prospect of climbing into the cab of a real fire truck. He didn’t even notice that his mother was tight-lipped with the men.
“Well, come on inside, so I can show you everything.” Heath gestured for them to precede him into the giant garage, which held several fire trucks of various sizes, as well as an ambulance. He ruffled Brady’s hair. “It’s your choice, little man: First the trucks and then the station, or the other way around?”
Blast From The Past (The Boston Five Series #2) Page 11
