Thomas Kindercook and the Pink Pyjamas

by Gerald Feather

  Eventually Thomas emerged from the bathroom looking almost human, except for...

  “Thomas? Again, I must ask... what happened to you?” Thomas was bruised all over his face and back. He had lacerations on his arms. Maybe he hadn't been playing around after all. “Did someone attack you?”

  Thomas looked at him with a smile that conveyed anything but happiness. “You might say that Gats.”

  Thomas lowered himself into a chair carefully. “I got beat with a wooden sword, ran into a wooden door, got dumped into a refuse chute, bludgeoned yet again by a refuse cart driver with a mean shovel, and finally chased by dog like creatures for half the night.”

  Thomas gingerly touched one of his many bruises only to draw his hand back with a slight gasp.

  “What are those things called anyway?” Thomas was getting tired of thinking of them as 'dog-like' creatures.

  “What are what things?”

  “The overgrown hairballs that you brought with you.”

  “Ah. You must be talking about the orchies.”

  “Seriously? They're called orchies?” Thomas rolled his eyes. Why was it anything dog-like would end up with some form of odd name. Poodle for instant. Poo with a dle on the end. Corgi reminded Thomas of corks and wiener dogs? Thomas wasn't going to touch that one.

  “Whatever they are called, they aren't all that friendly.”

  “But this is such a nice place! How....” Gatsby shook his head and decided the answer was probably longer than what he had time for at the moment. “Look, I'll let it drop for the moment. I have something I have to talk to you about.”

  “If it's about the palace and the wonderful time you had there, trust me Gats, I am not interested.”

  “As a matter of fact, in a way it is.”

  Thomas sighed. “Alright, tell me what's up. I was worried after you disappeared yesterday. It sounded like you were in some pretty big trouble.”

  “I have been in trouble for quite a while Thomas.” Gatsby resigned.

  Gatsby proceeded to tell his life story. His arranged marriage to Alanna, the past three hundred years, and his meeting with Alanna last night.

  “ ... Alanna was a little more reasonable than I had thought she might be. In fact, Alanna and I came to an agreement of sorts...” Gatsby said a little nervously.

  Thomas glared at Gatsby. “Why do I have a bad feeling about this Gatsby?”

  “Bad feeling?” Gatsby laughed nervously and mopped his forehead with the back of his hand. “Nothing bad! In fact, I have some great news! Alanna agreed that if I could find another to marry her, more powerful, more prestigious, I would be free of my obligation to Alkamire Dragons.” Gatsby's mouth was parched. His eyes darted around the room searching out a water pitcher but there was none to be seen.

  “I told her about the powerful wizard I met who... travelled across dimensions and how that would be a much better alliance for the Alkamire Dragons than I.”

  Thomas goggled. “You WHAT?! Gatsby?”

  “I told you this was wonderful news! You've barely been here a few days and you are already making powerful acquaintances!” Gatsby swallowed, which made him almost choke on his lack of saliva. “I told her that you would... marry her.”

  Thomas sat there stunned. The previous nights events fleeing his mind momentarily. “You threw me under the bus to save your own hide?!”

  Gatsby looked at Thomas in confusion. “Under the what?”

  Thomas clenched his fists. “Never mind! I can't get married! I'm 14!!! You never even asked me! Gatsby! You can't do this to me! Why don't you just marry her!”

  Gatsby was afraid this was how it might go. He tried to explain hurriedly before things got out of hand and...well before Alanna showed up. “Thomas! It's in name only! You're right, you are human. You likely will find a way back to your world, and then the wedding will be meaningless. There will be no way for the dragons to follow you, and no one there is likely to hold you to a marriage with someone they would probably believe to be a figment of your imagination.” Gatsby caught his breath and tried to calm the tone a little. “You get married to her. It frees me Thomas. If I get married to her. I am stuck with her for a life-time. In terms of dragon's lives, that's an awfully long time Thomas. Dragons don't get married whimsically. They know the type of commitment they are getting into.”

  Thomas gritted his teeth. “You didn't even talk to me. You didn't ask me. Was this your plan all along Gats? You were leading me here like a lamb to the slaughter? A peace offering for this princess of yours?”

  “No! Of course this was never my intention. I had hoped that we would be able to slip in and out of BlueShift without the princess ever being the wiser. I don't believe that Glen would betray us. I fear someone in the streets must have recognized me. Dragons have long memories.”

  “Are you kidding? It has to be Glen. He hasn't been here since the guards took you away. I think he fears what he will find when he returns.”

  Gatsby pondered that. He thought that Glen was a good friend and wiser than that. But the truth was, Glen had never understood why he hadn't married Alanna. He had called him crazy on more than one occasion.

  “Look Thomas, I wouldn't ask you if I didn't think this would work. I can't ask anyone from this world. Someone from here would be hunted down no matter where they tried to hide. There would be no place too far that the Alkamire Dragons wouldn't search. Believe me, I know from experience.”

  Thomas frowned and looked hard at Gatsby. He liked Gatsby. He could understand the predicament he was in, and sympathize... but this type of commitment scared the heck out of him.

  “I am going to have to think about it Gats.”

  Gatsby looked at Thomas encouraged. “Of course... as long as you don't take too long.”

  “How long do I have?” asked Thomas with a sudden feeling a little suspicious.

  A loud knock came at the door.

  “About 30 seconds I would say.” replied Gatsby.

  Thomas' eyes shot open and he whipped his head around to the door and back to Gatsby. “You mean?”

  “Unless that is Glen back from night watch, I imagine that you are about to meet the future Mrs Kindercook.”

  Thomas cursed under his breath.

  *****

  Alanna made her way slowly to the door of Glen's... unique house. The guard she had sent to follow Gatsby around had, as instructed, let her know that he had come back home. She'd known Gatsby long enough to get the feeling he was sincere about his plan, but she couldn't take the chance that he would try to run again. If her father found out that he had been here, and she had let him escape... no... it definitely couldn't come to that.

  Alanna took a deep breath and knocked. She didn't expect Tritton or Glen to answer the door as they were staying at the palace. Glen was terrified of 0what Gatsby would do to him once he figured out it was Glen who had betrayed Gatsby. Tritton merely thought it was better not to get involved in whatever ensuing storm was brewing.

  There was a moment of unease and Alanna was beginning to worry that Gatsby was going to try to run again. But then, ever so slowly the door opened.

  “Alanna! Come in.” Gatsby's demeanour was of a gitten being dangled before the mouth of a rorch, doing everything it could to distract the rorch and get away. He motioned for Alanna to enter the house.

  “Thomas has gone to his room to neaten up before meeting you.” Gatsby pulled out a chair and motioned to Alanna. “Please, won't you sit down?”

  Alanna winced slightly. “I think it would be better if I stood, thanks anyway.”

  There was a strange smell in the room. Something distinctly putrid mixed with cleaning agents. She wondered if a gitten had died under the floor.

  Gatsby nodded. “Then some tea? I'm not sure where Tritton is, but I can make a fairly good cup myself...”

  “No that's fine.” Alanna cut off Gatsby. “I would rather just get to the point of it.”

  Gatsby couldn't breath. His wh
ole life lay in this moment. “You've made a decision?”

  “I may have. But I want to meet this Thomas before I am sure.”

  Gatsby smiled. This was going wonderfully! He had never imagined that it would all go so smoothly!

  “Of course! I will go check on him then. I will be right back!”

  Gatsby swept out of the room. A few moments later Gatsby came back with another individual.

  “Thomas, I would like you to meet Princess Alanna Aqual.”

  Thomas' mouth dropped open.

  At first Alanna didn't know what to make of this bruise covered individual. He looked like a hooligan who had been brawling in the streets. He looked like he might be a sewer worker, or a farmer or... recognition finally dawned on her. The VAGRANT! Alanna's eyes flared open with anger. So much for playing the sympathy card.

  Thomas just stood and glared at the princess.

  Gatsby stood confused, looking at one, then the other. Alanna looked like she had accidentally swallowed her best dress and Thomas looked as if he had just met the ultimate evil. Everything had seemed to be going so well. What was going on here? No one was saying anything, so Gatsby coughed to break the uncomfortable silence. “Um, you can't know each other... can you?”

  Thomas looked like he was about to snarl. Alanna... he knew that look. She looked like she was going to kill someone.

  Alanna was the first to speak. When she did, it was with an icy tone that made the previous day seem like a picnic amongst friends.

  “Gatsby. I need to talk to Thomas alone.”

  Gatsby looked perplexed. “uh... alone?”

  Alanna turned to look at Gatsby.

  “Uh... right... alone.”

  A very confused Gatsby walked out of the house into the sunlit morning of a bright new day, leaving behind a storm inside.

  “So.” Alanna began. “So. My assailant from the previous night, who attacked me in my bed, is now to be my husband?.” She locked her gaze with Thomas'. “I should have known it was you when I smelt dead gitten!”

  “This from the girl who tried to split my head open with a stick and break my eardrums with her horrendous screams.” Thomas spat. “You didn't even let me talk before turning the guards on me.”

  “You were hiding on top of my BED! What was I supposed to do? Wait for you to assassinate me or worse?”

  “I said sorry, but you didn't even give me a chance!” Thomas' voice quivered with anger. Thanks to this girl he had spent one of the worst nights of his life running from this danger to that.

  “Oh that's just great. Sorry miss, I didn't mean to try to kill you!” I am supposed to wait until you try to attack me again?

  “I didn't attack you! The canopy gave way!”

  “You pulled the carpet out from under me!”

  “Big deal! You tried to split my head open and lambaste my back! I'm pretty sure if I hadn't got out of your room, I wouldn't be here to enjoy your sweet disposition today.”

  “So if you weren't there to attack me, and you weren't a thief, just exactly why were you there?”

  Thomas opened his mouth and closed it again. Alanna smiled as if she had caught Thomas in a lie.

  Gatsby knew Alanna, and it seemed Alanna hadn't thrown him in the dungeon for being absent those three hundred years. Maybe she could be reasoned with. “I was following Gatsby.”

  “Gatsby wasn't in my room.” Alanna said matter of factually

  Thomas cursed. Was she trying to be difficult on purpose? “I didn't know where Gatsby was. If I had known what you were like before going there... I would have looked for a hangman’s noose first. As it was, the way Gatsby was dragged off yesterday, I thought at least he may have been held somewhere.”

  “Ha! You are one to talk. Had I known that Gatsby was suggesting a marriage to a sewer dweller, I just might have shown him the noose!”

  “You didn't exactly show me the proper way out, princess! The only exit I could find, left me less than in my best dressed state.”

  “Oh I think that you found the right way out! You should consider yourself lucky for getting out at all!”

  Thomas let a heartless laugh escape him, “At least I'm relatively sure I'm off the hook as far as this idea of a marriage is concerned. I can't believe I was considering it!”

  That stopped Alanna for a second. She had been letting emotion control her up until now. She was losing control of the situation and her chance to win over Gatsby was quickly fleeing in refuse stained clothing.

  With considerable effort, Alanna smoothed her features and tried to approach the situation in a more civilized tone.

  “This arrangement wasn't for Gatsby alone. It will free me as well. Don't think that I will throw it away so easily.”

  Thomas couldn't believe what he was hearing. “You can't seriously think that I would still go through with this after all I've been through. Where I come from, you would be thrown in prison for beating your spouse!”

  “And you should be beheaded for attacking royalty.” Alanna interjected.

  Thomas was just about to make a cutting quip again when it sunk in that Alanna might be hinting that it was still a possibility.

  Alanna smiled inwardly. She realized that getting this human to empathize with her may not be the best way to deal with him. There was another emotion, a more effective emotion that she could draw on. Fear. But if this wizard was as powerful as Gatsby suggested, she would have to play this carefully.

  “I see you understand.” Alanna decided to sit down. Something she had been avoiding all morning. Alanna winced as she let her weight take over the action of sitting. Did she see the human stifle a smile? This boy was infuriating!

  “I came here to tell Gatsby of my decision. I wanted to make sure that you were going to sincerely co-operate. Now that we know it's in your best interest to go along with this, I am confident that we can proceed.”

  Thomas coughed. “You're serious?! You can't do this! You can't blackmail someone into marrying you!”

  “I'm quite serious! I couldn't have been given a better situation. This way is much better than what I had planned. At least I know you will be committed to me completely.”

  Thomas was about to say something undignified, but quickly reconsidered. He needed to think. For now he would have to go along with it, but he couldn't fully hide the contempt from his voice. “As you wish, your highness.”

  Thomas stormed off toward the door when Alanna added, “Would you send Gatsby in dear? We have much to discuss.”

  Thomas glared at Alanna and slammed the door.

  Alanna smiled. This was going to be easier than she had anticipated. A sudden sharp pain from her behind ruined her moment of satisfaction. She really should have someone look at it. She was sure there was still some crystal stuck there, but her pride had taken enough of a beating for one lifetime.

  CHAPTER 11

  LAYING IN WAIT

  Thomas stormed out of the door and screamed in frustration. Gatsby, who was just standing down at the end of the sidewalk, jumped and turned around.

  “Thomas? Are you alright?”

  “Her royal royalness would like to see you.”

  Gatsby knew something was going on beyond his knowledge of the situation, and it bothered him. “What's going on Thomas? The minute you two saw each other, it was as if all life had been sucked out of the room.”

  “Why don't you ask the queen of vinegar! I have never met a more infuriating girl than her!” Thomas shook his head, “I can't believe that you two were friends!”

  Gatsby felt sick to his stomach. He felt he knew the answer to his next question already. “So then... I am guessing you aren't... going to help me then...”

  Thomas stood with his hands clenched in fists, visibly quivering. “I'll help.” Thomas said in a deadly low voice.

  “Really?!” Gatsby let go of a sigh of relief. “Oh Thomas, I am so glad, when I saw you come....”

  “I SAID I WILL HELP! I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT
IT GATSBY!” Thomas screamed.

  Gatsby nodded slowly, “Ah... right... okay.” Gatsby started to back up toward the door of the house. “Well, uh, Alanna wishes to see me...” Gatsby swung his hands together and clasped them in front. “I better not keep her waiting...” Gatsby turned from Thomas' uncomfortable hate filled gaze. He couldn't fathom what had happened between the two of them in such a short time. He knew that he should feel bad about what was happening, but he couldn't help feel just a tad optimistic. After-all he had spent three hundred years suffering, it was time for someone else to bear the load.

  Thomas decided it would be a good time to take a walk. A long walk. He marched around the city at a furious pace at first, just trying to wear the rage out of his system. Then slowed to a stroll, and sunk into deep thought. He understood that Alanna probably thought she was being attacked, but she had been just as pointed with her tongue this morning as she had been with the stick the previous night.

  Thomas wandered around in a daze for most of the day. As his mind cleared, he realized he was at a gate. He wasn't really sure where he was, but he was pretty sure that this gate was different from the one he had come in. The guard in the gatehouse called down to him. “Heading out are you?”

  Head out? Could he do that? Leave Gatsby here? With... that... girl? He had said he was going to help Gatsby, and he had looked so happy. But honestly, he had had no choice. At least that's what he'd thought. Now that he stood at the gate, he realized that maybe he could just run. There was no one to keep him from going! She was likely to kill him after she was done using him. At least Gatsby would probably survive, since they were actually friends at one point. It didn't make sense for him to risk his life over this.

  “Open the gate!” Thomas called up to the guard. He tried to ignore the voice in his head screaming 'What are you doing?!”

  The guard disappeared into the gatehouse, and the gate slowly rumbled open. Thomas took a tentative step toward the gate, half believing that something would sweep down and kill him where he stood, but nothing happened. Thomas took another step, and then another. In fairly short order, Thomas found himself on a hillside outside BlueShift, before another wooded area. At least he thought it was a different wooded area than the one he had left. It was still deafeningly quiet.