“I can’t help it,” she says, smiling. “When you have somebody who’s just the one, you have no choice but to love them with all your heart. It’s just the kind of thing that’s in your DNA. It’s like you’re woven into every cell in my body. I don’t know if it’s destiny or fate, or something along those lines, but I have no doubt in my mind that we were meant to be—that we have been since the day we were born.”
“Christ, that’s so true,” I sigh. I pause for a second and grin at her. “What can I say? I totally dig you.”
She laughs, and I can tell she’s feeling much more relaxed. In fact, I’m guessing that the suspicious thoughts of our wedding guests will be the last thing on her mind in a few minutes.
I start to kiss up and down her neck, and her breathing gets deeper. Her skin is so smooth, and she’s slightly warmer than usual. I’m guessing she’s a little worked up over the pressure of the wedding night, and it’s probably got her heart beating faster than normal too.
“Just me and you, Lo,” I whisper to her. “Forget about everything else for tonight.”
She nods and opens her neck to me a little more. I take care to really let my lips linger on those special spots that get her going. I get to the one near her ear and I hear her deep exhale. She’s relaxing into me, her body getting more pliable as I move my hand to the back of her dress.
I try to untie the strings of the corset thing in the dress, but it’s complicated. There’s the corset part, some dainty buttons, and even a zipper in there somewhere. It’s like breaking into Fort Knox just to get her clothes off!
“Okay, I’m normally pretty good with removing your clothing, but this knot’s a real bitch,” I say to her.
She erupts in laughter and turns around, lifting her hair over her shoulder so I can get a clearer view.
“Who the fuck tied this?” I murmur to myself as I try to pull on the ribbons. “Christ, you’re strapped in here like Hannibal Lecter!”
She’s totally cracking up and her shoulders are shaking as she listens to my commentary.
“Stacey fastened it up,” she says. “And you know that girl can tie a mean knot.”
Now I laugh, but I have to agree with her. Stacey’s been in the BDSM lifestyle for a long-ass time, so I’m guessing she knows how to tie more knots than a sailor.
“Should we cut it?” she asks, still giggling at how hard I’m trying to untie this thing.
“I don’t have anything to cut it with.”
“Maybe we could get scissors or a knife or something from room service.”
“I’m not hacking away at your dress with a knife on our wedding night.”
She nearly falls forward when she bursts into loud laughter.
“Come here,” I say, taking her hips and turning her so I can sit on the bed with her back right in front of me. “Let me try something.”
She gasps when I pull her closer, bringing my mouth to the ribbon. I take part of it between my teeth and pull at the other part. I feel her shiver when I make a little growling sound, but finally the ribbon rips and the first challenge is finished.
I quickly undo the buttons, but she’s still giggling like crazy.
“What?” I ask her, kissing between her shoulder blades.
“You just tore my dress open with your teeth!” she says, peeking over her shoulder at me. “It was so primal. You’re like a werewolf!”
“Just tell me now, are there any other challenges I’m going to have to face to get your clothes off? Do I need to answer riddles or disarm one of One-Eyed Willie’s booby traps?”
She snorts with laughter. “You might have to pass through the Shrine of the Silver Monkey,” she says, mimicking the voice of Olmec from Legends of the Hidden Temple.
I laugh hard and tug the rest of the dress open, exposing her smooth, bare back.
“I forgot to tell you, I couldn’t wear my bra,” she says.
“So, this whole time, you’ve been wearing nothing under this dress?” I ask, my voice turning huskier.
“My bra wouldn’t fit me anymore,” she says, pretending to be innocent. “But I did keep the sexy panties and the stockings.”
“Okay, we need to get this dress off immediately!”
She’s blushing adorably when I throw my arms around her and swing her onto the bed, tugging the dress down her body as I go. Every motion is revealing more of her skin, and I’m getting incredibly excited by it.
I finally slide it off her hips, and she looks a little shy as she bites her bottom lip and gives me the innocent eyes, the ones she knows turn me on. Her arms cross over her breasts—sexy and cute—and her legs remain closed, but I get to see this panties-and-stockings situation she’s talking about. I felt the lace of her panties a little bit when I pulled off her garter this evening, but I was concentrating too hard on being polite and not making anything too sexy in front of everyone, so I didn’t linger under there for very long. Now I’m looking at her long legs, crossed at the ankles, leading up to the sexiest pair of white lace panties I’ve ever seen.
“Goddamn,” I exhale, which makes her snicker.
“Are you gonna take those off with your teeth too?”
I give her a wink and kiss my way down her stomach and onto her panties, dusting kisses over her hip before biting at the fabric. She raises her hips, but I still have to use my hands a little bit to slide the panties down her legs. She seems amused—and hugely aroused too.
I let her keep her legs closed, kissing her leg from her hip to her ankle before taking her petite, pedicured foot in my hand. I kiss her toes, nipping at each one a little, and then I press my mouth to the sole of her foot.
She jumps and giggles. “That tickles so much!”
I smile at her before I pop her big toe in my mouth, making a loud sucking sound, just to make her laugh. It works and she jerks her foot away, giggling uncontrollably.
“Jeez, is there any part of my body you won’t put in your mouth?” she teases.
“Nope.” I grin at her, kissing her ankle, then her calf, then her knee, then her inner thigh.
I tease her with soft kisses for a long time until she’s squirming and making these little pleading whines. The second my tongue makes contact with her, she moans and all her muscles twitch. Damn, Lo. That’s gotta be some kind of a record.
Even she looks surprised when I glance up at her. “Wow!” she breathes, her eyebrows up and her eyes wide.
“One down, about eight million more to go,” I say, bringing my mouth down onto her again.
I slowly tease her nipples with my lips, leaving her trembling. My fingers are next, making her come over and over again until her skin is so hypersensitive that I could probably breathe on her and make her come. I don’t think I’ve ever been so proud of anything in my life.
She’s still shaking with those occasional, spontaneous twitches when I move over her, resting between her legs.
“How do you want it, baby?” I ask her softly. “I want to give you everything you want tonight.”
“Like this,” she whispers back to me, staring deeply into my eyes—fuck, I love when she does that! “I like it best when you’re on top, and I can feel your whole body around me.”
That makes me smile. Personally, I love it with her on top, because I love to watch her go wild while she’s riding me like a fuckin’ rodeo bull, but I think it’s really cool that she likes it just plain missionary too. She digs it because we’re so close that way, right against each other, and I think she feels really secure and loved when I just surround her.
She kisses me and then nudges me up so I’m sitting on my heels. She gets up on her knees and starts slowly unbuttoning my shirt, stopping every few seconds to kiss my neck in this certain tender way only she knows. Never before have I felt this way from just a little neck kissing, not until her.
I’m breathing super deep, and I have to close my eyes as she slides my shirt open and starts kissing my collarbone and across my chest, from shoulder to shoulder. Every
single touch of her lips has this undercurrent of complete, total, unshakable love, and I feel like my heart could absolutely burst.
She kisses my whole torso and then guides me how she wants me while she takes my pants off and kisses from one hip to the other for a long time. God, I’m practically throbbing right now! Every place she touches feels warm and electric, and I’m already panting.
She takes me in her mouth, and I groan at the contact. Jesus Christ! So fuckin’ good! I actually have to stop her when I know that I’m getting too close and I won’t be able to hold back.
“Come here, my lovely,” I whisper to her, reaching for her hand.
We’re both lying on our sides, just staring into each other’s eyes for a while. She puts her palm to my cheek, I play with a tendril of her hair, and we just enjoy this moment together. There’s nothing else but us—totally bare, totally comfortable with each other, totally loved.
She leans in and kisses me before sliding her hand over my shoulder and ushering me closer. She’s ready.
There are no words exchanged, only loving glances as I gently enter her. We’re kissing and panting, and everything’s perfect as our bodies move in unison. Her lips are right by my ear, and I can hear those awesome, fuckin’ ethereal sounds she makes. Christ, that’s beautiful!
Our eyes lock, and I watch that expression start to spread across her face. She gasps, whimpers my name, and explodes with uncontrollable shivers. She’s shaking really hard, and I stop moving and just hold her for a second, kissing her neck and whispering to her.
Her ankles lock behind my back and she urges me back down, her hips shifting rhythmically to work me inside her body. She’s still coming super hard, but she wants me to keep going, so I resume my thrusts until I’m too overcome by the sensation of her pulsing on me like that.
I kiss her hard and then collapse onto her, panting into her neck as I try to will my limbs to work again.
I can hear her breath racing in trembling gasps. Then she sniffles, and it triggers my protective instinct. My head snaps up, and I caress her cheek with my palm.
“Are you okay, Lola?” I whisper with concern. “Are you crying, baby?”
“I’m wonderful, James.” She smiles with watery eyes, and I see a tear slip down from the corner of her eye onto the pillow.
“Why are you crying, angel?” I ask her, resting on my elbow so I can stroke her hair and brush my thumb along her jaw.
“It was just so much sensation,” she says, practically glowing with happiness. “You make my whole body feel like it’s lighting up from the inside.”
I smile at her and give her a tender kiss. “What can I say? I knock out orgasms like a Hall-of-Famer,” I add with my cockiest grin.
“Yes, you do!” she exhales, sounding exhausted.
“You know what, Lo? I think we’re going to have a pretty great happily-ever-after,” I remark, scooting to the side and resting my hand on her stomach.
“I thoroughly agree!” she says, smiling adorably. “Now why don’t you wrap those big, strong arms around me and give me some cuddle action, stud?”
Christ, I love this fuckin’ woman!
I do as she asked, pulling her in so her back is against my chest and my arm is over her waist. She likes spooning, and I totally dig it too. Nothing feels better to me than being near this girl. When we sleep this way, I can take her in with all my senses. I can feel the warmth of her body, the soft smoothness of her skin. I can smell that flowery, sweet, trademark Lola fragrance of her hair. I can watch the way her shoulders move when she sighs every now and then in her sleep. I can even listen to the sounds of her breathing. I get to spend the rest of my life doing this. As of this moment, I’m pretty sure I’m the luckiest man on earth.
Chapter 24
Lola
JAMES IS MEETING WITH SHAWNNA to give her the final selections for his new toys while I’m home in the laundry room, loading things from the hamper into the washer. Every time I bend down, it feels like my boobs weigh about a thousand pounds. I tend to get this kind of soreness when I’m going to be on my period, but that was supposed to be last week. Come to think of it, Aunt Flo didn’t make her routine visit, save for a bit of spotting. Hmm…
I start the washer and lean back on the counter for a moment, pulling out my phone. A quick Google search tells me that breast soreness, spotting, and fatigue are all early signs of pregnancy, but that’s just ridiculous. There’s no way I could be pregnant. I’m on the pill, for fuck’s sake! I’m just going to be on my period, that’s all. This is all routine; it’s just delayed a few days. Nothing to panic about.
Stacey pops her head around the corner, completely startling me.
“I brought you some of the veggie meatloaf I made last night,” she says before giving me a quizzical look. “What’s wrong?”
“Oh, uh, nothing. I was just, um, just checking Facebook.”
She leans on the doorframe and crosses her arms. “Seriously, Lola, what’s going on?”
I sigh and hold my head in my hands for a second before I look up at her. “There is a very slight, minuscule, tiny chance that I might be pregnant.”
“Get outta here!” she gleefully exclaims, coming over to give me a huge hug. “That’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you!”
“I don’t know for sure. I’m making this diagnosis based on Google, so let’s take it with a grain of salt.”
“Well, what makes you think you’re pregnant? What are your symptoms?”
“My boobs hurt like hell. I’ve had a little cramping. I’m really tired all the time—but that could easily be wedding stress and PMS.”
“Have you taken a pregnancy test?”
“No. I literally just started to put this theory together when you walked in.”
“Well, take one!” she says, practically bouncing with enthusiasm.
“But what if it says I’m pregnant?” I ask, still hoping that assumption is just ridiculous.
“That would be wonderful!” she says, putting her hand over her heart. “You’re going to be the best mom!”
I pause for a second, feeling woozy. “I feel kind of sick,” I murmur.
“Here, sit down,” she says, turning over the empty laundry basket and ushering me to sit on it. “Want some water or something?”
“No.” I hold my head in my hands. “I just want to know what the fuck is happening to my body right now. And I have to face the possibility that this might have happened way too fucking fast for me.”
“You really should take a test,” she advises. “Then you’d know for sure.”
I take a deep breath, holding back tears as I ask her, “Want to go to the pharmacy with me?”
“Sure,” she says, giving me a big hug.
I’m going back and forth between slightly crying and attempting to convince myself that this isn’t really happening as we get in Stacey’s car.
I probably look sickly and frail as we pick up just about every kind of pregnancy test available. I insist that we go to Stacey’s apartment, my old apartment, to do the tests, for fear that James will see them in the trashcan and start asking questions.
I chug enough water to be able to take several tests, and Stacey sits outside the door while I wait for lines and pluses and whatever other stupid symbols these companies use. I’m getting frustrated, but I know my anger is just there to mask my complete and utter terror at the thought that I might be pregnant. I. Am. Not. Ready. For. This.
My hands are shaking when Stacey says it’s been enough time for the first test. I hold it up, keeping my eyes closed. Maybe if I just don’t look at it, it won’t be real.
“Well? What’s it say?” Stacey says, peeking her head in.
“I can’t look,” I sigh, averting my eyes.
“I’ll look,” she says, coming over to see the results. “Two lines. Pregnant.”
“Maybe it’s a false positive,” I quickly reply, grabbing for the other stick.
“Plus sign. Pregnant.”
“Lola, all of them are going to say the same thing,” she delicately whispers as she looks down at me from where she’s standing.
I drop my head and completely burst into tears. Of course I wanted to have a baby, but not right fucking now! I wanted to come back from the wedding and look for a career, a real career, not just a job. I wanted to grow up, to spend time with James, to do some kind of honeymoon, to figure out what’s going to happen with his job situation, to just fucking settle down a bit before all this happened!
Stacey gets on her knees in front of me and hugs me tight against her. “Shh,” she whispers, “it’s okay. Everything’s okay, Lola.”
I sob some barely intelligible words about this being too soon and about us not being ready to be parents yet, and somehow Stacey understands me. She’s stroking my hair and patting my back. It’s quite comforting, and I truly appreciate her friendship right now.
“It was the fucking antibiotics!” I weep. “The doctor even warned me, but I was so stressed about the wedding that all I cared about was being better by the time of the ceremony. I’m so stupid! I should have thought of that! I should have remembered!”
“Calm down, Lola,” Stacey soothingly whispers in that voice she uses when we’re doing guided meditation. “You’re not stupid. It’s not your fault. This is just what was meant to happen. The universe knows you’re prepared to be a mother, and that you’re going to be a great one.”
“Well, the universe is wrong!” I say, my tone harsher than I meant. “I’m sorry,” I immediately apologize. “I’m just standing on the precipice of a total fucking panic attack. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”
“I know.” She smiles, shrugging her shoulders.
“Do you know what the worst part of this is?” I sniffle.
“What?”
Vice, Virtue & Video: Devoted Page 24
