Forever This Time

by Maggie McGinnis

  “Where are we going?”

  “It’s a surprise.”

  “Is it scheduled for takeoff in three point two seconds? Why the rush?” Josie grabbed the dashboard as Molly screeched to a stop at the Back Road intersection. “Just tell me now, are you trying to kill me?”

  “Nope. Just trying to show you something important.” Molly sped through the center of town toward Snowflake Village, but banked a hard left a quarter mile before the park and slowed to a crawl as she headed up Sugar Maple Drive.

  Josie peered out the windows at the Victorians lining the street, which had earned a record seventeen appearances in Vermont Life magazine over the years. “Okay? Why are we here?”

  “Just look around. See what you see.”

  “It’s still gorgeous.”

  “Historical Society got some grant a few years ago and got all the houses repainted in original colors.”

  “They’re beautiful.” Josie stared at the wide front porches, the turrets, the acres of windows and shutters, the sugar maples that lined the street, forming a canopy over their heads. She and Ethan had always dreamed of living on this very street, way at the end.

  She crossed her arms across her stomach.

  Long time ago.

  Molly continued to crawl slowly up the half-mile-long street, finally pulling to a stop just shy of the last house. House was a funny word to use for it, she guessed. The thing was huge—an old 1900-something hotel that had been converted to a B and B somewhere along in time.

  Way back when, she and Ethan had always called it their someday-house. It sat back from the street, its sunny yellow paint and dark blue shutters making it look quaint and welcoming despite its size. The wide front porch was lined with Adirondack chairs and wicker rockers with bright cushions, and hanging flowers dotted the entire length of it.

  “Remember this house?” Molly raised her eyebrows as she finally spoke.

  “Of course I do. You know I do.” Josie’s voice softened. “Ethan and I were totally going to live here.” She twisted to look out the back window of the car. “And you were going to buy that one, remember?” She pointed to a dark green Victorian with a matching porch.

  “And our kids were going to play in the sandbox and ride bikes together. Yadda yadda.” Molly’s voice was sharp as she shook her head, and Josie couldn’t help but think of the last time she’d been on this street.

  * * *

  “Someday I’m gonna buy you this house, Jos.” Ethan’s face was serious as they sat in his truck, parked just shy of the yellow B and B at the end of Sugar Maple Drive. “Someday.”

  “Right after you win the lottery?” Josie smiled as she looked at him, but inside she was quivering. There was no way she’d ever own this house, or one anything like it, if she ever came back to Echo Lake after college. Neither would Ethan—not if he kept his rope firmly tied to Camp Ho-Ho.

  “You never know.”

  “Are you hoping for a big raise from Dad?” She grimaced. Ethan had started working at the park in December, and Josie still hadn’t gotten used to the sight of him in a Snowflake Village polo shirt. “I hope you’re not thinking you’ll eventually get a daughter’s-boyfriend rate or something, cuz that’ll never happen.”

  “You never know. He and I have had some talks lately.”

  This was news to Josie. “About?”

  “About whatever.” Ethan shrugged. “About the future. You know, things I could do here. That sort of thing.”

  “Here as in Echo Lake? Or here as in Camp Ho-Ho?”

  “Snowflake Village.”

  Josie closed her eyes tightly, then turned to look out the side window. “You … you want to stay working at the park?”

  “It’s good work, Jos. Your dad’s a good boss. The money’s okay. I could do worse.”

  “You. Ho-ho. Like, permanently?”

  “Well, I don’t know about permanently. Who knows what’ll happen ten years down the road? But I guess for the next few years it could be just what I need, right?”

  Josie turned toward him, searching his eyes, then finally daring to ask the question that had been banging around her ribs for months. “What happened to all of your plans, Eth? You were going to get a degree! Get out of Echo Lake! Live somewhere besides this go-nowhere little town! What happened?”

  “You know very well what happened.” He pointed to his knee. “So now I need a new plan, and your dad’s offering one. I’d be stupid to pass it up.”

  “No. No, no, no, Ethan. You’d be smart to pass it up. You’re so much better than this stupid park. Better than this stupid town. You can’t give up just because you damaged your knee and lost one scholarship.”

  “Right. Because there are ten other ones waiting in the wings? Be realistic. I can’t afford to go to school—not now, not anytime in the near future. So I’ve got to figure out how to make a life, and right now the options are a little narrow.”

  “Not true.” She hated how pitiful her voice sounded.

  Ethan put his fingers under her chin. “True.”

  “So this is it? You’re happy with this plan? You’re going to settle in at Ho-Ho and live your life in Christmas la-la land? Seriously?”

  “I wish you didn’t hate the idea so much, but yeah. Maybe I am.”

  Josie stared out at her someday-house, sadness actually causing her chest to hurt. She couldn’t believe he’d willingly sign up for this life. He knew very well how the job consumed her father. Was that what he envisioned for his own life? For his own someday-marriage?

  If so, she’d be wise to get off this train right now, before it went any further into heartbreak territory.

  She spun the ring on her left hand, the tiny diamond feeling suddenly … heavy.

  * * *

  Josie shook her head to return to the present, sitting here on that same street, but this time with Molly. She turned forward again, looking at the house. There was a small, tasteful sign on the lawn, but she couldn’t read it. “Is it still a B and B?”

  “Sort of. It’s kind of a … care facility.”

  “A retirement home?”

  “No-o. More for kids, really.”

  “Oh. I interned at a place like that in Roxbury. I didn’t know Echo Lake was big enough to need transitional housing.” She felt her eyebrows scrunch together. “Especially this much. I forgot how huge this house was.”

  “It’s not transitional housing, Josie. It’s a medical facility. It’s for kids with life-threatening illnesses. They can come stay here with their families for a couple of weeks. For free.”

  “No kidding? Disney World has something like that. Wow. That’s—incredible.”

  “It’s gotten a lot of attention. National, even.”

  “I can imagine. Who runs it? The hospital?”

  Silence greeted her question, and for a reason she couldn’t quite put her finger on, Josie’s internal alarms started pinging. Molly stared out the front window, looking like she was sorting through possible answers. “It’s … it’s kind of a team effort, I guess you’d say.”

  “I see.” Molly was definitely holding back for some reason, which made Josie only want to push harder. “Who owns it?”

  Molly pulled her eyes away from the windshield and shifted her gaze to Josie.

  “I know you think nothing’s really changed here since you left, but a lot has.”

  “I know. I do.”

  Molly shook her head. “You think you do, but you don’t. And there’s no way that in two weeks, you’ve had time to figure it out.” Molly’s voice had a definite bite, making Josie realize she’d better tread lightly.

  “What are you trying to tell me?”

  Molly took a deep breath. “Ethan owns it.”

  “What?” Josie’s eyes snapped back to the house. Ethan owned their someday-house?

  “He sold his house when this one came up for sale.” She laughed bitterly. “Actually I think he sold everything he owned, then wrote a bunch of grant proposals in order to fi
nance the renovations. Now it’s a state-of-the-art medical facility posing as a getaway house.”

  “Oh my God.”

  “Last year more than a hundred kids came through here.”

  Josie stared, her heart thudding against her ribs. He had bought this house. Their house. And turned it into a getaway for sick kids? She reached for her throat, trying hard to swallow, but failing. “I don’t understand.” Her voice came out in a whisper. “He hasn’t said anything about it.”

  “I know.”

  “Why didn’t he tell me?” The question was out before Josie could suck it back in. Did she really want Molly to know Ethan had kept something this huge from her?

  Again Molly was silent except for her fingers tapping nervously on the steering wheel. Finally she said, “I don’t know. I imagine maybe he wasn’t ready for you to know about it.”

  “Oh,” Josie whispered as she held her stomach. After what they’d shared in the past few days, this seemed like a rather glaring omission.

  “You left, Josie. Life went on here.”

  “As you’re very fond of reminding me.”

  “It took Ethan a long time to pick up the pieces, but he did. He’s made a life here, and it doesn’t include … you. The park, this house…” She swept her hand at the windshield. “It’s all awesome. It’s working. It’s amazing.”

  “I can see that.” She paused. “And you’re worried I’m going to mess that up? I’m just visiting, Molly.”

  Aren’t I?

  “Then don’t screw with his head, Jos.” Molly spat out the words like bullets. “Don’t kiss him and … and take him to the waterfall and then dump him again.”

  “I’m not—” Josie paused again to gather herself. “He’s a big boy. I’m not making him do anything he doesn’t want to do.”

  Molly turned. “Don’t you get it? Are you still so selfish you don’t see what you’re doing?”

  Selfish? What did she mean, still?

  Josie shook her head slowly. “I didn’t mean to cause problems. I really didn’t. I’m not trying to. I just—”

  Oh, how was everything suddenly going horribly wrong?

  “I know. And that’s the biggest problem. You have no idea what you’re doing. You need to go back to Boston, Josie. You’re playing with fire here, and Ethan doesn’t deserve it. If you have any heart at all, you’ll leave him alone and go back home.”

  Josie squeezed her eyes shut at Molly’s harsh words.

  “How long has he owned the house?” Her voice was smaller than she wished.

  “Five years. Took him a year to do the renovations, so he’s had patients coming for four years now.”

  “Does he have a medical staff?”

  Molly nodded. “Of course. Josh is the medical director, and we—he’s got six nurses working different shifts.”

  “We? Do you work here, too?”

  “Yeah. I do.” Molly straightened her shoulders. “I’m not just a waitress, Josie. I got my business degree, and Ethan hired me to oversee things here.”

  “You’re the—” Josie couldn’t keep the incredulity out of her voice.

  “Director.”

  “Wow.” Josie put her hand to her chest, which was hurting as her breaths shortened. She couldn’t believe this. Ten years ago she’d thought Ethan’s plan was to park his butt in Dad’s office and live out his life at Camp Ho-Ho, and instead, he’d created a little getaway paradise for sick kids and their families. Apparently in addition to keeping the park running in the black.

  And he’d installed their best friends from high school in the two most prominent positions. They were a team, the three of them.

  She rubbed her chest, trying to ease the shame … and the loneliness. She hadn’t believed in him back then, and he’d known it.

  And look what he’d done.

  “You want to see the inside?”

  Yes. No. Yes.

  Josie shook her head. “I don’t want to just walk in. I’m sure it’s—busy. They’re busy.” Her hand fluttered in her lap.

  “Rather have Ethan show you?”

  “Yeah. I would.”

  Molly stared out the windshield. “Well, newsflash. He asked us years ago not to tell you about this place, so I don’t think he has a tour planned anytime soon.”

  “He asked—” Josie felt tears prick the backs of her eyes.

  Molly sighed. “Look. I’m sorry. I never should have brought you here. Ethan’s going to kill me if he finds out I did.” She shifted the car into gear. “I just thought you should see it. Maybe it’ll give you some—I don’t know—closure.”

  “In the sense of he’s fine without you, all is well in Echo Lake, and please go home before you screw up our lives? Again?”

  “You said it, not me.”

  Josie unclipped her seat belt just as Molly stepped on the gas. “Stop the car, Molly.”

  Molly’s eyes widened as she braked. “Why?”

  “Because I’m going into that house.”

  Chapter 34

  When Molly dropped her off in the driveway, Josie walked up the curving stone pathway to the front porch. Up close, she could see that the shutters had little cutout hearts, and that the flowers dripping from porch pots were vivid pink and purple pansies. The railing was painted bright white, and the cushions decorating every chair made for a rainbow of color.

  She tried to imagine walking up this pathway as a patient … or a parent. Despite the riot of emotions crowding her brain right now, she felt a sense of peace as she stepped up the wide stairway. It was welcoming, homey … happy.

  She rang the doorbell, and a chipper male voice from somewhere inside called, “Come on in!”

  When she opened the door, she found herself in a wide foyer with polished wood floors and a curving staircase. Hallways stretched to the left and right, as well as directly in front of her, where quick footsteps were coming from the back of the house.

  “Hannah? That you?” Josie’s head snapped up at the familiar voice just in time to see Ethan’s old friend Josh stutter-step as he entered the foyer. “Josie?”

  “Josh?” She stopped as he walked forward, trying to reconcile the gawky teen he’d been with the confident—um, gorgeous—man he now was. Kirsten would totally swoon.

  He held out his hand, smiling widely. “Did Ethan finally invite you over here for a tour?”

  “Not … exactly.” She shook his hand carefully. “Molly brought me.”

  “Well, come on in! Ethan’s busy with one of the guests, but I can tell him you’re here.” He looked at her face, doubt crowding his features. “Or maybe not tell him quite yet?”

  She grimaced. “I’m not exactly sure how he’ll feel about me surprising him here.”

  “Got it. Well, I give a better tour anyway.” He motioned her down the hallway. “He’s too modest. Come on back here. I’ll tell you about the place. It’s so good to see you!”

  An hour later, Josie sat in Josh’s office sipping lemonade. Situated in the back of the house just off the kitchen, it had floor-to-ceiling windows and gleaming wood floors. The scent of freshly mowed grass wafted through the lacy curtains and she took deep breaths, letting them out slowly.

  She scanned the walls of the office, full of framed black-and-whites. All children, all here, all smiling. She stood up and walked to one wall, looking at each picture in turn. Many of the children were bald, many were in wheelchairs, and still others had metal crutches. Josh had spent the entire last hour filling her in on what Ethan had done here, and she still couldn’t wrap her head around it.

  She couldn’t believe he’d created a foundation, then talked the Spencers into selling him their B and B way below market value when they’d retired to Arizona. According to Josh, Ethan had spent the last five years pounding the pavement all over New England trying to fund a house where sick kids could stay for free.

  And running Snowflake Village.

  Her breath hitched as she looked again at the sign in a picture of three kids
on the lawn. Avery’s House. Ethan had named this little slice of paradise after Avery.

  She rubbed her stomach as a sourness threatened to rise to her throat. How could she have thought she was the one serving Avery’s memory best?

  Josh leaned his hip on his desk. “So.”

  “So.” She turned from the wall. “I don’t even know what to say. Or think.”

  “I know.”

  “I can’t believe you guys have been doing this for five years already. And you work at the hospital?”

  Josh nodded ruefully. “This is why I have no life, yes.” He pointed at the pictures. “Ethan wouldn’t even think about opening the house without a physician on board, though. And I just look at that wall and think about all these kids, and how can I not be happy?”

  Josie studied his face for a long moment. “Is he happy, Josh?”

  He stared back. “In a lot of ways, yeah. He is. He loves this place, loves the kids, spends pretty much every moment here when he’s not at the park or with his dad.”

  Josie thought back to how he’d cared for Avery when he was way too young to have a clue how to, and her chest hurt as she pictured him hauling the little girl around Snowflake Village on piggyback, or sitting with her at the wishing well while she plonked in her pennies. Or in those last weeks at the hospital.

  * * *

  “Are you going to try to get some sleep?” Josie slumped in the uncomfortable chair next to Avery’s hospital bed, watching Ethan pace the floor slowly, Avery in his eighteen-year-old arms.

  He shook his head. “She wakes up if I stop moving. And then she hurts.”

  “Ethan, you’re going to fall over from exhaustion. Let me take a turn.” She pushed herself up from the chair and reached out for Avery.

  “I’m fine. She’s too heavy for you to carry.”

  “She’s not that heavy, Eth.” Josie’s whisper of a voice got stuck in her throat. “Not anymore. I can hold her.”

  “I’ve got her. I’ll let you know if I need you to spell me. It’s three o’clock in the morning. You should close your eyes and get some sleep.”

  “I can’t sleep.” She felt tears threatening to break free. “I’m too scared.”

  “So am I, Jos. So am I. I wish this didn’t have to happen … here. In this dismal, stupid little room. There has to be a better way.”