Forever This Time

by Maggie McGinnis

  “Set, go!”

  He started slathering green frosting on gingerbread men as fast as he could pick them up, but Josie matched his pace for the first few cookies. Then she laughed as she noticed frosting all over his fingers. “You are making a serious mess, Ethan.”

  “We’re not going for style—just speed.”

  “Who’s making up these rules?”

  “Me, of course.”

  “Well, new rule.” She started to reach across the shelf for a new bowl of frosting, but inadvertently caught his spoon with hers on the way, and a glob of frosting smacked into his nose.

  His eyes widened so far that she leaped backward off her stool, laughing, almost upending it. He picked up a spoon. “You did not just do that.”

  “I didn’t mean to!”

  “Not sure I believe you.”

  He reached toward the counter and pulled a bowl of orange frosting to him, reaching in with his index finger. “Come here, sweet Josie.” His voice was silky, deep, and it was all she could do not to walk toward him.

  “Nope. Don’t sweet Josie me.”

  He stepped toward her, wiping frosting from his nose. She backed up, but the kitchen was tiny, and she found herself up against the wall in two seconds flat. “Uh-oh. Nowhere to run?” His smile was mischievous.

  Josie felt her breath catch as he got closer and closer, and though she knew she should duck and put some space between them, she felt like invisible magnets were holding her in place, waiting for him to close the distance.

  And then he was almost touching her. His eyes were suddenly serious as he looked into hers, then looked at her lips, then back at her eyes. “New rule. Winner gets to kiss the loser.”

  “You keep making up new rules.” Her voice was doing that breathy, catchy thing again, dammit. “And you’re not the winner.”

  He leaned closer. “I am, too, the winner. You cheated.”

  He reached his hand up to stroke her jaw. Instead of the slightly callused pads of his fingers, though, she felt a creamy paste hit her skin. Before she could react, he nuzzled her neck, planting soft kisses along the trail of frosting. “Mmm. You taste even better than usual.”

  She fought to stay standing while he turned her lower half to jelly just by kissing her. Then he pulled away and reached back into the bowl, pupils dark and hungry. She felt her heart pick up speed as she watched him, but couldn’t force her voice above a whisper. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m thinking of other places I might like to put this.”

  “Oh.” Oh.

  He chuckled, then ran his finger along the V-neck of her sweater, leaving a trail of frosting in its wake. He bent down and placed a gentle kiss on her collarbone. “Like here.” Another kiss, one millimeter lower. “And here. And here.” He moved with exquisite tenderness, making her ache with anticipation.

  As he slid his hands under her sweater, she moaned involuntarily, and he reached down to pick her up, carrying her into the living room, where Mom had already pulled the curtains. The colored lights of the tree gave a warm glow to the room as he laid her down on the plush carpeting.

  He propped himself up on his elbow beside her, and she ran her fingers over the strong lines of his jaw. She could see the tree lights reflected in his eyes, and a Christmas carol played softly from the stereo. For the first time in ten years, the sound of it didn’t make her twitch.

  “Y’know, I think I could learn to love Christmas again.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.” He kissed her nose. “Do you think you could ever learn to love Snowflake Village again?”

  “Ooh, now that’s more of a stretch.” She smiled. “I don’t think I’ve called it Camp Ho-Ho in at least a day or two, though. Progress, right?”

  “How about Avery’s House?”

  She propped herself up on her elbows. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, I’ve been thinking … kind of a lot, actually, since you haven’t spoken to me in three days. I know you said you don’t really counsel kids all that much…”

  “I don’t.”

  “But I’ve seen you over the past two weeks. You’re not half bad with them.”

  “Ethan, please don’t extrapolate two emergency situations into me being qualified to counsel kids.”

  “I think you’re more qualified than you’re willing to admit, Josie. Emmy doesn’t warm up to just anyone, you know. And yet she glommed right onto you the moment you walked in. Just like Avery did.”

  Josie sighed. “That’s exactly the problem. I can’t do it, Ethan. I can’t let myself get attached to another child like that. It’s too dangerous. It’s too hard.”

  “I thought so, too.” Ethan nodded thoughtfully. “For a long time, I couldn’t imagine getting close to another kid. But then I started doing stuff on the pediatric floor at Mercy and I realized I could heal. Most kids get better, and the ones that don’t? We can make their time here better. We can be a special oasis on a mountain, with great care and fun rooms and creemees on demand.”

  “Can you imagine if we’d been able to give Avery that?” Josie felt tears threatening.

  “Exactly. And that’s why I bought the house. That’s why I applied for the grants. That’s why I named it after her. We did our best for her, and I have to believe we made her life better. I couldn’t imagine going through the rest of my days steeling myself against that sort of connection. I had to take a risk that it could happen again … but that in the meantime, I could do a lot of good.”

  He paused, running his fingertips down her jawline. “We were a good team, Jos. We could be again.”

  “At Avery’s House?”

  He nodded slowly, kissing her nose softly. “Maybe not just there. Maybe … maybe you could stay? Maybe we could give this a second chance? Us?”

  In his eyes, she could see the reflection of the Christmas lights, could see the flames from the fireplace behind her. Could see what she’d seen ten years ago, and never since. This man loved her. With his heart and soul, he still loved her, despite everything that had happened, and as she fairly melted into him, she knew she loved him, too. Always had, always would.

  “So what do you think? Am I worth taking another chance on?” His words were playful, but his posture was anything but.

  She slid her fingers around his neck to pull him closer. “It’s possible. You’re kind of growing on me.”

  He gathered her into a tender hug, then laid her softly back and kissed her neck. “Have you ever made love under a Christmas tree?” He kissed her lips tenderly, slowly, as he traced the neckline of her sweater with his fingertips.

  As his head dipped toward her neck, a loon call sounded from the vicinity of the coffee table where he’d set his phone earlier. Josie jumped, thinking it was her phone, but she’d left hers in the kitchen. The loon sounded again.

  Wait. It was his ring tone, too? How had she never heard it since she’d been home?

  He growled and reached for the phone, hitting the decline call button before he even saw who was calling. “Sorry about that.” He kissed her again, but ten seconds later, they heard the loon again.

  “Are you kidding me?” He rolled away from Josie and pulled the phone off the table, checking the readout this time. “It’s Ben. I’m sorry, Jos. I should probably take this. He wouldn’t keep trying unless it was important.”

  “Of course,” she said, but her voice was pathetically small as she sat up and crossed her arms across her chest. Her stomach actually hurt as she realized what was about to happen.

  He answered the call, speaking in monosyllables in response to whatever Ben was saying, and then hung up, sighing. “I can’t believe this, but I have to head over to the park.”

  “Oh.”

  And there it was. One minute ago she’d been clouded by dreamy kisses and hot promises, but this was the reality of Ethan, the reality of Camp Freaking Ho-Ho. It always won.

  “I know. I’m sorry. The timing—” He brushed his hands through his hair as he reache
d for her, but she pulled back. “I wouldn’t go if I didn’t have to. I really don’t want to, Jos.”

  “Of course.”

  Of course. I know how this works, Ethan. Camp Ho-Ho is wife and mistress, and I’ll get the leftovers. Oh yes. I definitely know how this goes.

  He stood up, reaching down to help her up as well, but she waved him off. “Go ahead. They need you at the park.”

  “Aw, dammit, Jos. You look—ah hell—I feel terrible.”

  “It is what it is, Ethan. This is how it works.”

  He turned toward the door, then stopped and turned back. “I really am sorry.”

  “I know.”

  “I’ll pick you up later for the dinner, okay?”

  Josie took a deep breath. “I think I’ll actually ride with Mom, if that’s all right.”

  “Okay? Sure?” He looked mystified. “I’ll see you there, then?”

  She worked up a smile. It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t know any different, right? This was his life. He just hadn’t yet figured out that it was going to make having any other life virtually impossible. “Okay.”

  With a quick kiss, he was out the door and off to the park, and she was left sitting on the living room floor, staring at a Christmas tree alone. Again.

  Chapter 39

  “Diana, I think we need to talk about hiring someone else to work in the office.” Ethan paced his office at the park, practicing his speech, the latest crisis handled and averted. He’d tried to reach Josie, but her phone was turned off. “Diana, I know this isn’t really the time to talk about this, but I’m wondering what you might think of me hiring an assistant.”

  He ran his hands through his hair. Christ, the woman’s husband was still in the hospital. How could he ask a question that would make her think he was convinced Andy wasn’t ever coming back?

  But he had to. He never wanted to leave Josie like that again—never wanted to see that bleak look on her face as he’d put on his coat. He might be CFO of the park, but he was determined not to let Snowflake Village own him.

  Josie’d spent her life coming in second place to this damn park. He squeezed his eyes shut. And he’d just demonstrated, in crystal-clear fashion, that she still did.

  He tried her phone again. Straight to voice mail. Again.

  The office phone rang, startling him. He picked it up without looking at the readout, and was surprised to hear Diana’s voice on the other end of the line.

  “Ethan? I was just calling to leave you a message. What are you doing there at the park? I thought you were with Josie.”

  “I was. Something came up here, and I had to come back.”

  “I see.” The silence hung in the air, making him think again of Josie’s face as he’d left her sitting by the Christmas tree.

  “I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you about something,” he started.

  “That’s good, because I’ve been meaning to talk to you as well.”

  “Do you want to go first?”

  “I think we need to hire you an assistant.”

  “Wha—”

  Diana bulldozed forward. “I do. I’ve been thinking about it for days. Andy’s getting better, but this isn’t going to be a short journey, and we can’t have you collapsing from exhaustion while we wait. And maybe … maybe he’ll never come back to the park. We don’t know yet.

  “Ethan, you’ve been burning both ends of the candle for so long I don’t even think you realize you’re doing it anymore, but as the de facto boss of Camp Ho-Ho, I’m officially telling you to cut your hours. Starting next week.”

  Ethan chuckled. “De facto boss of Camp Ho-Ho? Has Josie heard you call it that?”

  “Sounds rather pompous, doesn’t it? I’m serious, though. I’ve been giving it a lot of thought, and if Andy isn’t going to be back to one hundred percent, then I need to learn this business so we can keep the park running. I’m going to start coming in next week, and you can show me the ropes.”

  “You’re going to be the assistant?”

  “No. We’re also going to hire an assistant. But I’m going to try to learn as much of Andy’s job as possible so you can go back to owning just the financials instead of the entire operation. Then you can concentrate on where your heart is … at Avery’s House.”

  She paused. “And if I can be bold, maybe with Josie.”

  “Wow.”

  “How was Josie when you left?”

  “Fine. Good.” He winced, picturing her face. “Quiet.”

  “Ethan, I am definitely not the person to give anybody advice, and we both know it, but I’m going to, anyway.”

  “Should I sit down?”

  “No. You should listen to me while you’re getting in your truck and driving back to see my daughter.”

  He sat.

  “You know what’ll send Josie straight back to Boston?”

  “Honestly? A lot of things.”

  “True. And you can’t control some of them. But you can control others. Do you still love her, Ethan?”

  He spun to look out the window at a park that hadn’t been the same since she’d left ten years ago. Then he looked at the lacy sweater she’d started hanging on her dad’s chair for when the AC went wonky. He looked at the happy-face mug and the bright pens and the sparkly mouse on Andy’s desk, and he liked it.

  He liked it a lot.

  He braced himself. “Yeah. I do, Diana. I didn’t think I would, didn’t think I could … but I do.”

  “Then you need to show her that a life with you isn’t going to mirror the life she saw Andy and I have back then. We made terrible choices, and we paid the biggest price—losing our daughter.”

  Diana paused. “Don’t let her go back to Boston. Don’t lose her again, Ethan.”

  * * *

  “Hey, Ike! How’s my Jeep?” Josie stepped into the open garage bay, finding Ike’s legs sticking out from under a late-model Lexus, even though it was Sunday afternoon.

  He rolled the rest of his body out from under the car and peered up at her. “Why? You going somewhere?”

  Yeah. Boston, as a matter of fact. “Maybe. Is it done yet?”

  Ike nodded, groaning as he pushed himself awkwardly off the rolling cart and stood upright. “Damn old bones.” He wiped his hands on a red rag and motioned toward her Jeep out in the back parking lot. “She’s done. I put in the new ignition switch yesterday and got her all shined up today for you. New oil, new washer fluid, pumped up your tires.”

  “I really appreciate it. What do I owe you?” Josie took her wallet out of her purse, anxious to get out of town.

  Ike stood there silent for so long she thought he might have fallen asleep on his feet. Finally, he waved away her wallet and turned toward his little office. “I’m not taking your money, Josie.”

  “Ike, I fully expect to pay you. You spent hours working on the car, ordered parts…” She glanced back at the Jeep. “It’s shinier now than when I bought it. Did you wax it?”

  He shrugged as he turned back toward her. “Maybe.”

  Josie opened her wallet. “I insist on paying you. How much did the switch cost?”

  “Eh, I had one lying around.”

  “You’ve been telling me for a week that you were waiting for it to arrive.”

  “Dunno. Memory’s not so good these days.”

  “Liar.”

  His mouth crept up at the corners. “Tell ya what. Give me five bucks I can pass on to my grandson. He helped with the waxing.”

  “Ike, listen—”

  Ike put his hands on his hips. “Y’know what? I think you’re maybe the one that needs to listen right now, missy. Your cheeks are flaming like they used to when you were good ’n’ mad, and I can see you’re itching to get on the road. I don’t know what happened just now, but whatever it was, stop and think before you take off again.”

  “No offense, but honestly, Ike. You have no idea.”

  “Maybe. But I know some things.”

  Oh, for God’s sake.<
br />
  “What are you talking about?” She looked at her watch pointedly. She had to be gone before Ethan realized she wasn’t coming to the Hospital Hero dinner. Gone before Mom realized she’d finally packed her suitcase and had it ready to go.

  “Jos, I know you think that this whole damn town is stuck in time—that nothing ever changes here, but it’s not true.”

  “I know that.”

  “I know you think you know that, but I’m not convinced you really know that. I also don’t think you have any idea how many people in this town loved you then, and would love you now if you’d let them get attached to the woman you’ve become. Especially one particular man who’s never forgotten you—or loved anyone else.”

  “Ike, seriously.”

  “Oh, I’m being dead serious. You spent a lot of hellish years trying to pretend everything was fine, trying to convince us all you were just fine, but honey, we knew.”

  “No. Stop it.” Josie put up her hand, backing away.

  “Think about it, Josie. Why do you think Mama Bellini had you at the restaurant so much?”

  “She needed help!” Even as she said the words, Josie knew it wasn’t true. Had known it in her heart all along.

  “She didn’t need help any more than I needed somebody to organize my wrenches on Friday nights, Josie.”

  “But they were always a mess…” Josie heard her voice fade as she spoke.

  Ike sighed. “Honey, I messed them up at three o’clock every Friday so you’d have something to do besides go home.”

  “No.”

  “Yeah, I did.” He stepped toward her, putting an arm gingerly around her shoulders. “We all knew what you were living, Josie. And we all did what we could, but obviously it wasn’t enough, because you still had to go. But we got it. Even Ethan, though it took him an awful lot longer to be able to admit it.”

  “Stop.” Josie put her hand up slowly, trying to stem his words.

  “I don’t think I will. I don’t know what happened to put you in this state, but somebody needs to say this, and since you’ve got two wheels on the road already, I guess I’m elected. I know you came back two weeks ago thinking you’d just put in your time till your daddy’s better. Well, that’s gonna be a long road, and that means you’ve got some deciding to do. Are you going back to Boston and leave your mom here alone? Leave Ethan and Molly and Josh to do the good work they’re doing, without you? Is that what you really, truly want?”