So, yes. It was best to keep blood like mine under wraps.
"I guess the cat is out of the bag now," I murmured, realizing exactly how screwed I was. "If I'd been in my right mind, I would have come in through the back," I joked, half serious.
Sven's lips pressed into a thin line as he considered the ramifications of this knowledge now out for public consumption.
"Yes," he agreed unhappily. "Too many people saw you on your way inside. If it had just been the guard..." he shook his head. "There's nothing we can do about it. You do have a giant target on your back now," he agreed. "The thought that you could be used to bring back the dead..."
He trailed off, but I could guess what he was thinking. People had lost many loved ones recently. It wouldn't matter if it was a myth or not. Just the possibility would be enough to draw people out, to speak to that desperate voice inside that missed loved ones. Even the chance that they could bring back someone they loved... It would be too painful a hope for a certain type of person to ignore.
Sven sighed.
"It doesn't matter," he said resolutely. "I'll keep you safe." He had a hard look on his face, one that I never wanted directed at me. His face softened as he came back to now, back to me. "I don't know if you're up to it, but my advisers are currently having a meeting about what to do about this newest development." He searched my face. "Would you like to attend it?"
I smiled slightly. Not even a little bit. But I needed to be there.
"Sure," I agreed. "Why not be a part of this circus?"
His answering smile was wry. There was no denying this was going to be challenging at best. I dressed quickly in some borrowed clothes—at least I wouldn't have to go in there naked.
I took a step towards the door, but was pulled into a bear hug before I got near it. Sighing, I snuggled into Sven's chest, shutting my eyes tightly as I tried to absorb the feel of him. We stayed that way for some time, my face against Sven's chest, his buried against my hair. Finally, he stepped back, letting out a ragged breath.
"Sorry," he apologized. "I really...needed that."
"Me too," I murmured softly.
He smiled a little, taking a deep breath and letting it out. We finally ventured out of the bedroom and Sven led me to the meeting room, which ended up being in the private wing this time, so we didn't have to go far. He held my hand the entire way, the feel of even that much of his skin against mine comforting. I moved to let go when we neared the arguing voices, but Sven held on firmly.
"What's the point?" he asked simply when I gave him a look. "Everyone knows exactly how devastated I was when you..." he stopped, looking away. He cleared his throat before continuing. "That isn't a reaction one has about a co-worker," he finally finished.
"Sven..."
Even if I wanted to throw caution to the wind, the fact that my secret was out added a whole new complication to things. One that could endanger Sven. But...my heart broke at seeing the depth of the pain he'd felt flash through his eyes as he looked at me. He shook his head.
"Besides," he added with a slightly strained smile. "They have something much juicier to gossip about now."
That was exactly what I was afraid of. But now wasn't the time to bring it up. So I played along. I rolled my eyes, allowing him to change the subject. For now.
"Wonderful," I muttered under my breath as we stepped into the same room where we'd entertained Mia and Ashur.
They were going at it full tilt already. What a wonderful homecoming.
"We can't have her at the palace! She'll be too much of a security risk!" Blaise pointed out.
"So you want to just send her out there to fend for herself?" Arie demanded, her face tight. "After she saved the king?"
Other voices broke into the pandemonium of the argument. There were a couple people who looked like they'd been promoted added to the mix. Not one person glanced at us when we stepped in, too absorbed in discussing what to do with me to notice our entrance. Never mind the fact that I would do what I wanted with myself, thanks. Even if that meant leaving the palace. But there was no denying I was painfully vulnerable now. I felt more naked than I ever had, even when walking through the city without a stitch on. My best defense had always been keeping my secret. If nobody knew, nobody would attack. Simple.
But now... Now I was a very tempting resurrection potion, just walking around on two legs. Sven stood there with my hand in his and listened. His eyes slowly narrowed. His hand clenched on mine. Until he'd finally had enough.
"Adara is staying here. With me," he announced, his voice pitched to carry over the bickering. "I do not care about your opinion on the matter. If we have to beef up security, we will do so. If we have to make other adjustments, we will make those as well. But she will stay here with me. That is not negotiable."
The group quieted as they turned to see us both. There was a moment of stunned silence as everyone's eyes turned to me, distracting them from Sven's words. I supposed I was going to have to get used to those stares.
Blaise opened his mouth, probably to say something that Sven wouldn't like. He was good at that.
"You may all leave," Sven said into the silence, before even Blaise could get a word out. "Now, please."
There was a snap of command to that tone, one everyone responded to. Within twenty seconds, everyone was out of the room, hurrying away. Probably to argue some more with each other when they were out of our range. Within another minute, they were all out of the wing, leaving Sven and me alone again.
I wandered over to the windows, looking out at the view below. I lifted a hand to the glass, feeling the cool slickness of it under my palm. I still hadn't fully processed what had happened. I'd actually...died. I was lucky to be alive. I felt Sven come up next to me.
"You will stay here, won't you?" he asked after a few beats of silence. So he had noticed that I hadn't exactly agreed to that arrangement. "I love you, Adara. I want you by my side. If I've learned anything from this...it's that I don't want to waste even a second of the time I have with you."
What was I supposed to do when he said those kinds of things to me? I was only a woman. I turned to him, my heart full and aching.
"I love you too, Sven." I took a deep breath. "But..."
"But what?" he demanded, his hand coming up to cup the side of my face.
"But they were right," I finished, looking into his eyes. "I am a vulnerability, though I don't even know if that's the right word for it. I'm a reason for people with bad intentions to come here. Like bait for predators."
"So am I," Sven retorted. "In case you didn't notice, that protest earlier was about me."
I snorted out a laugh.
"Stop thinking so hard," Sven ordered, sliding an arm around my waist and pulling me in against his front. "Sometimes, you have to stop thinking and do what feels right. What your gut tells you. And mine tells me that I'll be happier with you by my side than I would be if I was alone and a little safer. There is no comparing the two. And this is one area of my life I'm not willing to sacrifice for the good of the phoenix race. It's none of their goddamn business who I want in my bed with me."
He sounded angry and fed up just saying it. I completely understood. I settled my face against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.
I wanted to.
I really did.
But it was so selfish to do something just because I wanted to, not take into account all of the downsides for everyone else, when that was what I'd spent my whole life doing.
"Yes," I heard myself murmur before I even realized I'd decided to take Sven's advice and stop thinking. And I felt an immediate loosening of the tension around my heart.
Well. It seemed that perhaps this was a new me.
Sven squeezed me tight in his relief, and then slid a hand into the hair at the back of my head, using it to tilt my head back. I saw a brief glimpse of his glittering eyes, full of an almost desperate passion that called to my own.
"Adara..." he whispered.
And I'd never felt more alive.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I made a protesting sound as Sven broke the kiss to meet my eyes.
"Not here," he murmured, swinging me up into his arms easily. "I want you in my bed, with no interruptions."
So that was where he took me, down the hall, straight to his bedroom, and into his large, cushioned bed. In the soft silence of privacy, Sven gently removed my clothes, his fingers barely skimming my skin. He was much faster and less careful with his own. He watched me the entire time, his eyes hot. Possessive. I sighed as he lay down on top of me, the press of his warm skin against mine necessary. I wanted as much of him pressed against me as I could have.
He propped himself up on his elbows, cupping my face in his hands.
"I thought I would never see you again," he murmured, his eyes scanning my face. Like he almost couldn't believe I was actually there. I wrapped my hands around his strong wrists, turning my head to kiss a palm.
"I'm sorry," I said, seeing the pain he'd had to deal with. The grieving he'd still been doing when I showed up. He lowered his head to rest his forehead against mine.
"Not your fault," he countered. "Just don't do that again," he admonished. "Not even to save me. Not that I'm not grateful, but I'd rather take attacks meant for me, please."
I couldn't agree to that. If it happened again...
"You need to keep your phone with you," I teased instead, intending to lighten the mood. But he lifted his head at that, the anguish in his eyes clear.
"I couldn't forgive myself for not checking my messages," he said in a hoarse voice. "If I'd just taken a second..."
"Sven, no," I ordered, shaking my head. "I was just joking. How could you have known it would have been so important?"
"I should have—"
"We should celebrate the fact that we're together again," I interrupted, not giving him the opportunity to flog himself over nothing. Not when we were lucky enough to be with each other. I'd had a taste of just how precious time was. And I didn't want to waste it. Who knew what tomorrow would bring? I wanted to savor every moment I had.
Sven nodded, the same knowledge in his eyes.
"You're right," he agreed, kissing me lightly. "You're right."
And then we proceeded to celebrate.
And Sven was very thorough about it. He kissed every inch of my front, paying equal attention to every square inch.
My face.
My throat.
My shoulders and arms.
My breasts.
My stomach.
Down my legs to my feet, kissing the sensitive arches.
Then he rolled me over.
And did the same to my back.
Gentle, soft kisses down the length of my spine.
Across the curves directly below.
Down my thighs.
Until I was an impatient mess of hormones, the place I really wanted him to be touching wet and hot and needy.
"Sven," I complained, not able to keep the embarrassing whining note out of my voice.
Chuckling, he flipped me over to my back and buried his mouth between my legs. I cried out at the abrupt stimulation where I really wanted him, my hands coming down to grip his head as he licked and sucked, his hands holding my thighs firmly apart as he drove me to my first orgasm.
I was so close from all the work he'd just done that it didn't take much. My fingers dug into his head as I arched involuntarily, the clenching heat taking me over. A blazing, beautiful cascade of tingling pleasure that permeated my entire body.
It felt amazing.
It felt like life.
While I was still recovering, Sven rolled me to my side and cupped my body from behind with his. Kissing my damp neck, he raised my leg over his hip and pushed inside. One of his hands slid up to my breast. And the other slid down. Down. Sliding between my folds to rub at my clitoris. While he started a slow, gliding thrust. I felt it building again. But I couldn't take that slow ride again. It might kill me.
"Sven," I muttered, pushing back against him. "Harder."
"Not yet," he responded, taking a firmer grip on me.
And continuing those slow, maddening thrusts. I felt like I was going to start clawing at the wall if he didn't go faster. Harder.
I felt encompassed by him, by the pleasure he was giving me. But I needed more. I needed to reach that finish line. The first orgasm had only managed to make me greedier.
I pulled away, something he wasn't expecting me to do. I used that surprise to my advantage. He frowned as I turned to him.
"Adara, is everything ok—"
Before he could finish his sentence, I had him on his back, and had already taken him back inside me in one hard thrust of my hips. He groaned, his hands coming down to grip my hips as I rode him. My eyes met his half-open ones, the pleasure he was feeling showing in the almost pained look on his face. I rode him hard. As hard as I wanted to, my hands bracing myself on his shoulders as I pistoned up and down. Right to that shiny finish line.
Moaning, I hunched over on top of him as I clenched down on his hot length, unable to keep moving as the orgasm hit me. He used the moment to roll us back over, our bodies sliding slickly against one another. And then he thrust into me hard, his hips slapping against mine. I cried out as another wave of pleasure hit me, just as Sven slapped a hand against the headboard and let out a ragged breath, pulsing inside me with his own release, his jaw clenched tight, his head dropping as he shuddered. I smoothed my hands down his slick back, which was all I really had the energy left to do.
Sven finally opened his eyes, his breathing deep and rough. He rolled to his side facing me, pulling me closer against him. I closed my eyes to take in a deep breath, sighing. When I opened them again, his were only inches away.
"I love you," he murmured.
And I could see the truth of that statement in his eyes. Could feel it in my heart even without the words.
"I love you, too." I didn't know how else to categorize this emotion that made my heart feel too big for my chest, too big for my body to contain. "And screw everyone else's opinions."
Sven grinned, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
"Agreed."
As I snuggled closer, tucking my face into his neck, breathing in his scent, I knew there was one decision that I no longer had to make. Sven was mine. And I was his. And we'd just have to figure out our lives around that simple fact.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I walked down the hall of the private wing of the palace. It was going to take some getting used to, calling this place home. I still felt a little bit like an intruder here unless Sven was with me. Not that anyone else particularly made me feel that I was. Apparently, now that everyone knew I was of the Original Bloodline and Sven and I were in a public relationship, people had decided maybe alienating me wasn't the best idea. At least in the palace.
They were still talking about me. I wasn't that naive. But at least they were now doing me the courtesy of gossiping behind my back instead of in front of me. Baby steps.
I sighed as I continued walking. I'd gone through all of my messages, responded to everything I could, even taken a few meetings with some flock chieftains.
That had been fun. They didn't know quite where to look or how to treat me. It kind of gave me the upper hand in a way I hadn't experienced before. Which was nice. Though I could also see it growing old.
But after all of that, I was still confined to the palace due to obvious safety issues. It was starting to itch a little, this self-imposed prison. But I couldn't argue with the reasoning. It would be much too easy to grab me off the street in a crowd. Maybe after things died down a little...
I reached the public part of the palace and walked out to the audience chamber. Everyone I passed gave me respectful nods. Maybe they stared at me a little longer than strictly necessary, but I'd take that over screaming and running away any day.
I nodded a
t Igna who was standing at his usual post. He nodded back, opening the door for me.
"Thank you," I murmured, smiling at him.
He smiled back.
"Of course."
We'd come to more than an understanding at this point. I'd almost venture to say we were friendly. The world worked oddly sometimes. Though odd really was an understatement these days. When I walked into the chamber, I immediately felt like walking right back out, but this concerned me, which was why I'd made the effort to come.
"You cannot simply keep her closeted away in the private wing," Mishal said in exasperation. "It gives the impression that you are attempting to hide her. That perhaps something is wrong with her or you are ashamed."
"Then what do you suggest I do?" Sven growled, pushing a chair out for me as I drew near. "String up a flag adorned with her face surrounded by hearts?"
"That would be nice," I murmured under my breath as I sat.
Sven's lips twitched, but gave no other sign that he'd heard me.
"We've spoken about this and we think...we think a public speech—a public explanation with Adara there by your side—would be a good step to take," Joash suggested, nodding at me.
"Perhaps a social event," Blaise added.
"To turn Adara's resurrection into a celebration. Set the tone," Arie chimed in. "We don't want people to be afraid."
Sven's jaw tightened as he looked up at the ceiling. That wasn't a positive sign.
"You want me to have another giant party?" he finally said silkily, turning his head back down to meet their eyes. "After what happened at the last one?"
That had them stirring uncomfortably. Way to bring the mood of the room down, honey.
But I could see what the advisers were saying. The people needed to get used to me again. See that nothing had changed. Though that wasn't completely true. Sometimes, I felt like a different person altogether. Like the rebirth had not only reset my body, but my mind. It had started to fade now, that feeling of not fitting quite perfectly in my own skin, so maybe it was all in my head. Or maybe the effects were only short-term. I had no idea. Maybe it was time to research this in more depth.
From the Ashes_A Dragons & Phoenixes Novel Page 14
