Tickled Pink

by Schultz, JT

  The hot-tempered hotty reached in his pocket for his wallet and removed his permit to drive. If the police were smart they would cut it to pieces. However, Toni decided to remain quiet. “The registration is in the car. I need to go get it.”

  The younger officer made a stop signal with one hand and took the license with the other. “No. You need to stay here and away from the vehicle.” He turned to Toni, and with a serious expression, ask her, “We heard yelling when we approached—this man isn’t being abusive is he?”

  Toni glanced at the handsome man who narrowed his gaze as if in warning. She turned back to the officer and shook her head. “No, I think he’s just having an emotional breakdown. Possibly forgot to take his meds for neurotic behavior.”

  “I’m not on medication nor am I neurotic. I’m perfectly fine.” He all but barked at Toni.

  “Right,” noted the older officer. “That’s why you left your brand new Mercedes in the middle of the street still running.” He leaned in closer. “Have you been drinking?”

  The good-looking guy tugged at his over-priced and rather ugly tie. “It’s five o’clock in the afternoon. Of course not.”

  “Right,” the older officer exchanged a doubtful look with the younger one. “I’ll get the registration and run our new friend’s name.” He glanced at the card in his hand. “Richard Bryson.”

  “That would be me.”

  The older officer glanced up and studied him. “Any relationship to Judge Bryson?”

  Richard heaved a sigh and shook his head. A displeased expression crossed his handsome face. “He’s my father.”

  “Right,” the older officer responded, again not believing, and then turned to his partner. “I’ll be back; find out why these two decided to create the public disturbance.” He walked away and the young officer turned to her.

  “Ladies first.”

  Toni smiled and nodded. “Well technically I wasn’t in public. I was on my balcony.”

  “Yeah and taking aim at my vehicle with that golf ball of yours.”

  She turned to Richard. “You shouldn’t be speeding down this street. It’s residential, children live along here. Children and small animals.”

  “Miss, could I please get your name?”

  She turned to the officer. “Antonia Deluca.”

  He scribbled the name down then glanced up. “Go on.”

  “Well, I was on my balcony practicing my golf swing and one of the balls accidentally hit the back window of this man’s car.”

  “Accidentally,” Richard exclaimed, with a mocking laugh. She didn’t appreciate his sarcasm but did admire the deep dimples on either side of his firm mouth. “You’ve been taking aim at me for the last two weeks.”

  “Not exactly. I’ve been sending you warnings to slow down. Which you’ve chosen to ignore while trying to prove your gas pedal works.”

  “Enough!” The officer barked and both she and Richard focused on the young officer. “So you have been aiming at the vehicle with golf balls?”

  “They usually sail right over. I use a great lob wedge. A Christmas gift from my father.”

  “You broke my window!” Richard fumed.

  “I think you have bigger problems,” she informed him darting a glance around him.

  “And how do you figure that?”

  She blinked at the hotty. “Because a second police car just showed up with a tow truck.”

  The older officer walked over and shook his head. “Well, it’s a good thing I ran your name. You certainly are popular.”

  What the…?

  “You’re a wanted criminal?” she asked Richard in shock. Wow, you really couldn’t tell about people.

  “Don’t be ridiculous! Of course not.” He glared at her with a menacing expression.

  Had she just pissed off an axe murderer? She took in his expensive suit and tacky designer tie. He didn’t look the type, but then again neither did Christian Bale in American Psycho—Christian had better ties though.

  The older officer turned to the younger one. “Well?”

  “Apparently, Ms. Deluca here is a repeat offender of California Vehicle Code 23110.”

  “Wait a minute,” Toni stammered. “I wasn’t the popular one. He was.” She pointed to Richard even though she knew it was bad manners.

  “Then they’ll both be going in.”

  “Going where?” both she and Richard asked in unison.

  The younger officer tucked the small notebook back into his pocket while the older officer retrieved his cuffs from behind him. “Richard Bryson, you’re under arrest for outstanding bench warrants in regards to unpaid tickets.”

  “Those were paid.”

  “Right…that’s what they all say.” The older officer took no pity and proceeded to cuff Richard. You have the right to remain silent—”

  “Good luck with that,” Toni interjected, speaking before thinking.

  The younger officer stepped toward her and closed the distance. “Antonia Deluca, you’re being charged in violation of California Vehicle Code 23110.”

  Oh hell no!

  “You have the right to remain silent—”

  “Fat chance of that.” Richard offered with a malicious grin.

  The officer continued to Mirandize her as the cuffs went around her wrists. This couldn’t be happening. “But I wasn’t even in a vehicle.”

  “No, but any person who throws anything at a vehicle or occupant of a vehicle while the vehicle is being operated is guilty of a misdemeanor. It’s a felony if injury is caused to the driver.”

  “The only thing injured was the driver’s ego,” she stammered as the officer grabbed her upper arm. “Besides I didn’t throw the ball; it was nudged with my golf club.”

  “Same thing.” The officer grinned. “But maybe when this is over, you’ll let me take you out to dinner.”

  He was kind of cute. “Maybe. If my father doesn’t kill me.”

  She sighed as she was led toward one of the police cars. Oh yeah, her dad would be furious over this—after all she was only the Assistant District Attorney’s daughter.

  Not good. Not good at all.

  Richard couldn’t believe he was sitting in a holding cell. He had no luck lately, none whatsoever, between work, his parents and now this. All because of the infuriating woman with the pink streak in her hair. Well, she’d certainly gotten her just desserts, considering she too sat in a holding cell. The image of the golf ball shooting Juliet came to mind. Her long tanned legs in the cut offs and her fitted t-shirt revealed her great body, but despite being pretty, she had to be off in the head—who took aim at cars like that?

  A uniformed officer walked over. “Bryson.”

  A small amount of relief washed over him. Finally, he could leave the long-haired burly man—with a beard—wearing bright red lipstick and what resembled a princess gown with small sheer fairy wings. He was quite sure he would have the song I Feel Pretty from West Side Story run through his mind for the next week, thanks to the winged weirdo singing it non-stop.

  Richard walked toward the metal bar door and darted a glance at his other cellmate, a drunk passed out on the bench who not only reeked of his misadventures, but probably hadn’t showered or changed his clothes in over a week. His last couple of hours had turned out to be hell—a smelly, serenading hell.

  When he caught up with his secretary, they’d be having a long chat. The woman had worked for Stewart Locke Investments since his maternal grandfather had run the company. However, as old and sweet as she was, forgetting or putting off paying his tickets had contributed to his less than desirable conditions. He stepped out of the cell and followed the officer as another uniformed officer tossed a big biker down the hall. Apparently, his release had come at a good time, considering the leather clad and overly intoxicated man was cussing up a storm and had real anger issues. He frowned. That’s what, what’s her face—Antonia was it?—had accused him of. He entered the main area of the station.

  “Richard,
thank heavens!” His mother greeted with a sigh and a well-manicured hand pressed against her chest. “This is not like you to be so irresponsible. Really, what were you thinking?”

  That was rhetorical right? “Mom, I—”

  “Mona Bryson, this is a surprise.” Both he and his mom turned to the other woman’s voice. The owner was a very polished and classy woman in a black suit. “What on earth are you doing here?”

  His mother’s face turned animated. “Connie, this is a surprise. Is everything okay?”

  “Another incident with Toni.” She glanced at the person behind her and Richard’s mouth gaped open. There stood little Miss Pink Streak. He turned to his mother. “You two know each other?”

  “Of course, Connie and her husband are big with supporting the arts.” She then rested her gaze on Toni. “You are the infamous Antonia Deluca?”

  Richard snickered and glanced at the woman who had caused him so much grief. “Wow, infamous—I bet you’re a regular here.”

  “Says the man who the police referred to as popular—then again, you most certainly aren’t in the running for Mr. Congeniality, now are you?”

  “You two have met?” His mom’s surprise wasn’t hard to miss.

  “Yeah, she’s the reason I’m here. She had me stuck in a cell with a drunk and some freak with a beard wearing a dress and wings.”

  Antonia snorted and rolled her big brown eyes. “Try being stuck with a Lady Gaga look-like and a bunch of hookers.”

  He raked his gaze over her long legs in the shorter than respectable faded cut offs. “I’m sure you blended.”

  “Only if I hadn’t been wearing a bra and six inch stilettos instead of tennis shoes,” she spat back.

  “Cut it out both of you!” his mother warned. “Richard, Antonia—”

  “Toni is fine.” She informed his mom with a weak smile.

  His mom cleared her throat. “Toni was the chief interior designer at the new theater house.” She focused on the young woman. “I must say I also love what you did with the Barring House in Bel Air. The entrance and living room is to die for.”

  “Thanks. I loved that house. Some of my best work.” She brushed the pink tendril off her face and smiled. She was actually very pretty when she wasn’t being a psycho with a golf club. Toni pursed her lips and Richard couldn’t help but notice how full they were.

  He sighed and turned to his mom. “Can we go, please? I desperately need a shower and a drink of scotch. Possibly two.”

  “Actually, no. We need to wait. I guess your arraignment is going to be held here in just a few minutes.”

  The day just got better and better. “Fine. All I ask is we don’t let dad find out about this.”

  The officer behind the desk cleared his throat and Richard stepped up to the counter and in turn, closer to Toni. He caught a whiff of lilac and the faint traces of expensive perfume. He chose to ignore the pink distraction and smiled at the officer. “Is there a problem?”

  “Well, Mr. Bryson from what I can tell, your father is presiding judge this afternoon.”

  “Oh!” Toni exclaimed with a flinch and met his gaze. “That can’t be good.”

  “No,” he assured her. “You have officially ruined my day. I didn’t think it could get any worse.”

  “Good afternoon Assistant District Attorney Deluca.” The officer behind the front counter smiled a greeting as he looked toward the door.

  “Dammit!” Toni whispered as Richard turned to the distinguished gentleman in a designer pin striped suit walking toward where they stood.

  The ADA turned and glanced at him then focused on the woman slinking behind his body. “Antonia!”

  She peered around Richard’s frame, which towered hers by a good five inches. “Hi, Daddy.”

  Richard turned to Toni in stunned horror. “Daddy?

  “Yeah, about that,” she started with the bat of long lashes. Her teeth pulled on her full, pouty, lower lip. “You know when you said you didn’t think your day could get any worse—I think it just did.”

  He closed his eyes and shook his head. For the first time since he had met Antonia Deluca the most amazing thing happened. They finally agreed on something.

  His day had officially gotten worse. Much worse.

  “The people vs. Antonia Deluca and Richard Bryson. Case number BC2873.”

  The judge couldn’t have cared less as he fussed through a file. She turned to her best friend Kayla’s husband, acting as her defense attorney. Desperate means meant…well…calling in favors. Thank the ducks! He was a criminal defense attorney.

  “Richard Bryson,” the judge mulled. “You have the same name as my son.” He glanced up and stared at the hunky Richard.

  “Hi, Dad.” The man standing next to her winced. Yeah, this was uncomfortable.

  “Awkward!” Toni whispered and almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

  The honorable judge turned to her father, Assistant District Attorney Deluca. “Is the defendant any relation?”

  “Yes, your honor.” Was that regret in her father’s tone? Oh yeah, he was going to hang her out to dry.

  Richard’s dad took off his glasses and shook his head. “Counsel, approach the bench.”

  She turned to Andrew. “This is good, right?”

  The groom who had so willingly unleashed the Tickled Pink on her just last Saturday shook his head. “Probably not.” He stepped forward with her father to stand in front of the great big mahogany bench where Richard’s dad sat.

  “We’re in trouble.” Richard whispered with despair.

  “I was thinking doomed,” Toni confessed, meeting the hotty’s sapphire gaze.

  “This is your fault.” He rolled his eyes.

  “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

  He cast another menacing gaze. “Says the woman with bubble gum in her hair.”

  “It’s a streak of hair color—and at least I was taking a stand for something. What have you stood up for other than the fact you have testosterone pumping through your veins?” She shook her head. “I wasn’t the one over-compensating for my dick size by speeding every day for the last month now was I?” She shrugged. “Hell I don’t have a penis so that kind of makes me the superior species. Man. God’s first draft.”

  “And being female makes you better?”

  She studied the good-looking man who asked the question with an ironic sincerity. “He got it right the second time when he created Eve.”

  “Says you.”

  Really? That’s his best comeback?

  Toni’s heart sank as Andrew walked over to where she and Richard stood. “The Honorable Judge as well as the ADA are taking recuse.”

  She blinked and studied her best friend’s husband. “So like rats they’re abandoning a sinking ship?”

  “Do you have to be so dramatic?” Richard fumed. Seriously, did he not have any clue what this meant?

  She turned to the man who stole her breath and wished she’d met him under different circumstance—maybe she’d see his good side. “Our fathers are stepping back, that is what recuse means—just in case you’re confused—which quite possibly you are.”

  He rolled his eyes.

  “Listen up Mr. Armani. This is a conflict of interest for both, thus—the recuse. If you’re still stunned and clueless—not that you don’t look cute with that baffled expression—Google the meaning.”

  Richard narrowed his blue gaze. “Could you possibly be anymore condescending?”

  “Yes. The evening is still young.”

  He turned to Andrew. “Deal with her.”

  “I am trying. There will be a short recess while the ADA and judge have replacements brought to fill in.”

  Richard spun toward his father. “Dad…really?”

  “This will only take a few minutes, son. But conflict of interest prevents ADA Deluca and me from proceeding. Ten minute recess.” He slammed his gavel down.

  “We’re screwed—I mean more than a vibrator in a porno movie.”
/>
  Richard turned to Toni. “There’s a visual.”

  “You watch porn? I never took you for the type.”

  Richard scowled. “No I don’t watch porn and I can’t believe we’re having this discussion.”

  She shook her head and lifted her gaze to his of sapphire blue. “I didn’t mean it metaphorically. I mean both of our fathers are recusing—that does not bode well for us from a legal standpoint.”

  “What are you, a law major?” His mocking tone was understandable, considering the circumstances.

  “Actually, she is. Just didn’t take her Bar—thought the world needed more color—instead.” God bless her attorney and her best friend’s husband—Kayla did well with him.

  Richard cast a skeptical expression. “Really? You’re a smart person?”

  “Don’t look so surprised. If you were smarter, you’d have shot your personal shopper after that tie.”

  He glanced down at his neck dress then lifted his gaze. “I like this tie.”

  Toni blinked at the brunette Adonis, “Sorry to hear that.”

  “All rise for the Honorable Judge Masters,” some court clerk called from somewhere.

  “Oh hell,” Richard groaned as they both stood.

  Toni turned. “What the hell is your problem now?”

  “He golf’s with my father.”

  “So what?” She shook her head.

  “Waiting on representation from the people, then we’ll proceed.” The judge announced. With a burst of doors from behind Toni and Richard, they turned to see both their father’s walk in with a man.

  “Assistant District Attorney Montgomery welcome,” the honorable Judge Masters greeted. Toni blinked. Why was the replacement ADA laughing with her father and Richard’s?

  She heard a few words mingled with the laughs, something about legalities and her father mumbled “It’s perfectly legal…” just as someone in the room coughed, obscuring the rest of the sentence.

  “That ADA was my father’s protégé.” She swallowed hard as an unsettling feeling formed in her stomach.

  Andrew and Richard exchanged a skeptical look. “Oh this is bad.” Richard breathed.