Apple Turnover Murder, Key Lime Pie Murder, Cherry Cheesecake Murder, Lemon Meringue Pie Murder

by Joanne Fluke

  “I know, but I can’t help wondering what else I’m forgetting.”

  “Maybe you should keep a to-do list.”

  “I did that. I still do sometimes. But if I’m really busy, I forget to look at it, and that defeats the whole purpose.”

  Michelle laughed and got to her feet. She walked over to the counter to dish up two portions of the omelet she’d made and carried them to the table. “Why don’t you get a cell phone with a built-in electronic notebook? All you have to do is program it for the time you want to be reminded of something, and it beeps.”

  Hannah made a face. “I really don’t want to go that high-tech. Getting a computer was bad enough, and I only did it because I lost that bet with Andrea.”

  “I saw it in the living room. It’s still in the box, and you haven’t even set it up.”

  “That’s right.”

  “Well, why not?”

  “Because I don’t have a cell phone with an electronic notebook that beeps to remind me,” Hannah said, digging into the excellent breakfast that Michelle had served.

  The sense of good humor her youngest sister had served along with her delicious omelet was short lived. Hannah had taken only three bites of her sister’s delicious concoction when the phone rang.

  Michelle glanced up at the clock. It was two minutes to six. “Who’d be calling at this hour of the morning?”

  “Mike, Norman, Mother, Bill, or Lisa,” Hannah answered, ticking them off on her fingers. “The only one it couldn’t be is Andrea.”

  “Because she doesn’t get up before eight?”

  “You got it,” Hannah said, standing up to reach for the phone on the wall. But just as her fingers were about to connect with the receiver, she happened to glance at Moishe.

  His fur was puffed up to twice his normal size, and his back was arched in a classic Halloween cat pose. His tail was swishing back and forth like a scythe in a reaper’s hands, and instead of a purr, a low growl emanated from his throat. He was staring at the phone with yellow eyes that were narrowed to slits, and he looked ferocious enough to leap through the air and puncture the wall with his claws.

  Hannah pointed, and Michelle looked worried. “What’s wrong with him?”

  “He knows who it is.”

  “How can he know that?”

  Hannah shrugged. “I’m not sure, but he’s only been wrong once or twice. Maybe he’s picking up some kind of cue from me, or maybe he’s just extra sensitive. I’d better answer before he rips the phone off the wall.”

  “Good idea,” Michelle said, still staring at Moishe with some alarm.

  Hannah picked up the receiver and brought it to her ear. “Hello, Mother,” she said.

  In the ensuing silence Hannah could hear the sound of a clock ticking on the other end of the line. Then the clock began to strike the hour, a bell-like chiming that confirmed the identity of her caller. It was a gilded clock from the early eighteen hundreds that Delores had brought home from Granny’s Attic to put on the shelf in her breakfast nook.

  “What is it, Mother?” Hannah asked. “I know you’re there.”

  There was an exasperated sigh and then Delores spoke. “I do wish you wouldn’t do that, Hannah. “It turns me tip over tail.”

  “What?”

  “Sorry, dear. It’s a Regency term that means it upsets me. And speaking of being upset…”

  Hannah took a deep breath and winked at Michelle. She knew exactly what was coming.

  “I was just listening to Jake and Kelly on KCOW radio and they said that someone coshed Willa Sunquist over the head last night at the fair and killed her!”

  “They said coshed?” Hannah was surprised. She’d catered enough cookies, coffee, and tea at the Lake Eden Regency Romance Club to know that coshed meant to strike a blow.

  “Of course they didn’t say coshed. They probably don’t even know what it means. They just announced that a blow to the head killed her.”

  “I know, Mother.”

  “Then you were listening, too?”

  “Not exactly.” Hannah sent up a silent thank you to whoever had written the press release for not adding anything about how she’d found Willa’s body.

  “You weren’t listening to Jake and Kelly, but you knew about it?”

  “Yes, I knew.”

  It took Delores a moment, but then she gasped. “Don’t tell me!”

  “All right. I won’t. Was there anything else you wanted, Mother?”

  “Hannah Louise Swensen! This is no time to be flippant. It’s not at all becoming. I don’t know how you expect anyone to take you seriously if you insist on treating…”

  “I’m sorry, Mother,” Hannah interrupted what promised to be a lengthy lecture on improper behavior for a lady.

  “That’s better. Now tell me you didn’t.”

  “I can’t do that.”

  Delores groaned so loudly, it hurt Hannah’s ear. “You have got to stop doing this, Hannah! It’s bad enough that you trifle with the affections of those two perfectly lovely men. One of them cared enough to build you a house, you know.”

  “It’s Norman’s house, not mine,” Hannah defended herself.

  “Are you going to deny that you designed it with him?”

  “No, but it was for a contest.”

  “Really, Hannah! You’re acting as if you have windmills in your head!”

  “What?” Hannah was genuinely confused. She hadn’t heard that particular phrase before.

  “It means confused. They used it all the time in Regency England. If you’re half as bright as I think you are, you’ll realize that the contest had nothing to do with Norman’s real motivation. He wanted to build a house for you. And he did.”

  Hannah was silent. What could she say? Her mother could be right.

  “If you have any doubt, go out and look at his den,” Delores said. “But that’s enough about Norman. Tell me everything about it.”

  “About what?”

  “About Willa, of course. Bertie told me she had her hair done, and Claire mentioned that she bought an expensive dress. Do you think it was date rape gone bad?”

  “Date rape?” Hannah choked out the words.

  “Yes. You know what that is, don’t you?”

  “I know, but how do you know?” Hannah couldn’t help asking.

  “Dr. Love discussed it with a caller last week.”

  “You listen to Dr. Love?” Hannah was shocked. The advisor to the lovelorn on KCOW radio had a reputation for being outrageously outspoken.

  “It’s either that or the farm report, and I’ve heard enough about mastitis to last me for the next fifty years. The radio in the lounge only gets two stations, so we listen to Dr. Love while we’re having lunch.”

  “Okay. I’ve really got to go, Mother. I haven’t even taken my shower yet, and I’m due at work in forty-five minutes.”

  “Just a minute, Hannah! You haven’t told me anything yet. Was it…bad?”

  Hannah knew what her mother wanted. Delores expected her to couch her description of the murder scene in carefully chosen euphemisms. But Hannah didn’t have the time or the patience to do that right now.

  “Call me later,” she said, standing to hang up the phone. “I’ll tell you all about it then. I’m running late and I have to get ready for work.”

  “Wait!” There was a frantic command from the other end of the line. “Just tell me where you found her. They didn’t say that on the radio, and Bill won’t tell me a thing.”

  It was clear that Delores wanted a juicy tidbit for the Lake Eden gossip hotline, something no one else but an insider would know. She’d obviously called Bill first and failed to learn anything she hadn’t already known, and now she was trying her eldest daughter.

  Hannah glanced at Michelle. Her youngest sister was holding Moishe in her lap while she chuckled silently. Michelle’s whole body was shaking with mirth, and Moishe looked as if he wasn’t sure whether he should bail or attempt to ride it out.

  �
�Okay, Mother,” she said turning back to the phone. “I’ll tell you one thing that you didn’t hear on the radio. Chances are, the police don’t know it either. And when I tell you, I’m hanging up so I can get ready for work. Is that a deal?”

  “Of course.”

  Delores sounded eager and Hannah rolled her eyes. She’d make this fast. “Willa was wearing the new dress she bought from Claire,” Hannah said, “and she was also wearing new shoes she bought to go with the dress.” And then, at the first squawk of protest, Hannah lifted the receiver from her ear and hung up.

  Fifteen minutes later, Hannah looked back up at the clock and groaned. She’d just fielded two more phone calls. One was from Pam Baxter, who wanted to know if she should call Lisa at home to explain the situation and ask her to fill in on the judging panel. Hannah had told her yes, hung up the phone, and it had run again immediately. This time it was Lisa to report that Pam had called about taking Willa’s place on the panel of judges. Lisa said she’d let Pam know by noon, but she wanted to ask some questions about it when Hannah got down to The Cookie Jar.

  “I’d better hurry,” Hannah said, glancing at the clock as she carried her dishes to the sink.

  “Go take your shower and get dressed,” Michelle said, reaching for the omelet pan and pulling it closer. “I’ll catch the phone if it rings. I’m going to pick out some of this sausage for Moishe.”

  “Good idea. He’s always loved sausage.” Hannah headed for the kitchen doorway, but the phone rang as she passed by the table. “What is it about a ringing phone that I can’t ignore?” she asked, reaching out to grab it. “Grand Central Station. This is Hannah speaking.”

  “Hi, Hannah,” a familiar voice greeted her, and Hannah smiled. It was Norman, and he wouldn’t try to probe her for more information about Willa’s murder. “Do you have a minute?” he asked.

  “For you I have two.” Hannah sank down into a chair.

  “Then I’ll make it fast. First of all, I want to apologize again for being so insensitive last night.”

  “Apology accepted.”

  “Good. And I’d like the two of you to join me for dinner tonight.”

  “We’d love to, but we can’t. Michelle has to be at the fairgrounds from noon until eight tonight.”

  “I didn’t mean Michelle. I know she has a full schedule. I was talking about you and Moishe.”

  “You’re inviting Moishe to join us for dinner?”

  “Yes. I’ve got an idea for perking up his appetite. I know you want to see Michelle in the talent competition, so I thought we’d eat early. Bring the big guy out to my place at five.”

  “It sounds great, but I’ll only have forty-five minutes. I’ve got a six o’clock meeting with Pam and whoever fills in for Willa at the fairgrounds. We have to go over the rules for judging.”

  “That’s okay. I’ll have everything all ready. I’ll get takeout from Sally at the Inn, and we’ll eat in my new den. It’s the only room that’s completely furnished. Then I’ll take Moishe back to your place for you, and you can go straight to your rules meeting.”

  Hannah was about to beg off and ask him to make it another, less hectic night, when she remembered her mother’s comment about Norman’s new den.

  “Okay. See you at five.”

  “Wonderful. Now there’s just one other thing…”

  “What?”

  “I know Mike doesn’t want any help from anybody, but you’re going to investigate, aren’t you?”

  “Me? Investigate? How can I investigate when I’m not a licensed member of a law enforcement agency?”

  Norman let out a yelp of laughter. “You’re right, of course. See you at five with the big guy.”

  “What are we having for dinner?”

  “Boneless leg of lamb with wild rice and baby asparagus. Sally said it was one of your favorites.”

  “It is. I’ll cut off a little piece for Moishe. I don’t think he’s ever had lamb.”

  “No need for that. I ordered a special entrée for him. If the big guy asks, you can tell him he’s having mixed grill.”

  “That’s really sweet of you, Norman.” Hannah began to smile. Some men might be nice to their girlfriends’ pets because it was politic to do so, but Norman really cared about Moishe.

  BREAKFAST OMELET

  Do not preheat the oven—this breakfast dish needs to be refrigerated before it can be baked.

  Hannah’s 1st Note: I didn’t have the heart to tell Michelle that this dish wasn’t technically an omelet. What’s in a name anyway? It’s like Shakespeare said, Would a rose by any other name smell as sweet?—or in this case, as savory?

  1½ pounds skinless sausage links or breakfast sausage patties

  8 slices white bread (white, sourdough, French, country, etc.)

  ¾ pound grated cheddar cheese (approx. 3 cups, the sharper the cheddar, the better)

  ½ cup chopped onion

  ¼ cup finely chopped green peppers

  6 eggs

  ½ teaspoon salt

  1½ cups milk

  ½ cup half-and-half, or cream

  1 Tablespoon prepared mustard (I used stone ground)

  1 can (10¾ ounces) condensed cream of mushroom soup, undiluted

  ¼ cup sherry***

  1 can (5 ounces) sliced mushrooms, drained

  Spray the inside of a 2-quart casserole dish with Pam or other nonstick cooking spray. A 9-inch by 13-inch cake pan will also work well for this recipe.

  Cut the sausage links into thirds and sauté them until they’re lightly browned over medium heat on the stovetop. If you used patties instead of links, cut each one into four parts and sauté them until they’re lightly browned.

  While your sausage is browning, cut the crusts from the slices of bread. (You can either save the crusts to feed to the birds, or throw them away, your choice.) Cut the remaining bread into one-inch cubes. Toss them into the bottom of your casserole or cake pan.

  Drain the fat from your sausage. Put the drained sausage on top of the bread cubes in the casserole. (Mother used to save the fat from sausage or bacon for Dad—he used it for frying eggs when he had one of his penny-ante poker nights.)

  Sprinkle the grated cheese over the top of the sausage.

  Sprinkle the chopped onions over the cheese.

  Sprinkle the chopped green peppers on top of the onions.

  (Or, if you like things spicy, substitute ¼ cup chopped jalapeños.)

  Whisk the eggs with the salt, milk, half-and-half or cream, and prepared mustard in a bowl by hand, or beat them with an electric mixer.

  Pour the egg mixture over the top of the casserole, cover it tightly with plastic wrap, and refrigerate it overnight.

  (Michelle says that now you can sleep soundly because you know you’ve got breakfast almost ready to go in the morning.)

  The Next Morning, 2 hours before you want to serve breakfast:

  Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F., rack in the middle position.

  Take the casserole from the refrigerator and remove the plastic wrap. Place it on a baking sheet with sides, if you have it. A jellyroll pan will work beautifully.

  Mix the condensed cream of mushroom soup, the sherry (or equivalent), and the drained, sliced mushrooms in a mixing bowl.

  Pour the mushroom mixture over the top of the casserole.

  Bake the casserole for 1½ hours at 350 degrees F.

  Remove the casserole from the oven and let it stand for 10 minutes to set up before serving.

  Hannah’s 2ndNote: Michelle told me that she once used some of her roommate’s leftover champagne instead of the sherry and it was really good. I didn’t ask her how her underage roommate got the champagne in the first place.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “But do you really think I’m qualified to do it?” Lisaasked, taking the last two trays of cookies out of the oven and sliding them onto the baker’s rack.

  “You’re every bit as qualified as I am. You’ve been baking all your life.”

/>   “But so have you. And your life is a lot longer than mine.” Lisa stopped and made a face. “That was tactless, wasn’t it?”

  “Don’t ask me. I’m not exactly the guru of diplomacy, myself.”

  Lisa giggled and Hannah was reminded again of how young she was. Her partner was a study in contradictions. There were times when she was amazingly mature and responsible, especially when it came to the business, her recent marriage, and her father’s care. But there were other times when Lisa still acted like the twenty-year-old she was. There had been several occasions over the past two years when Hannah had come in to find her partner dancing around the workstation with a broom as her partner, humming, “Some Day My Prince Will Come.”

  “So you think I should do it?” Lisa asked again.

  “I do. What does Herb think?”

  “The same as you. Of course Herb thinks I can do anything, except…” Lisa paused and began to frown. “I was going to say that I’ll be on the judging panel if you’ll do a favor for me. But that’s not really fair, is it?”

  “Not really, but of course I’ll be glad to do whatever…” Hannah stopped speaking in midpromise. The last time she’d promised a favor without knowing what it was, Andrea had tricked her into chaperoning a group of her high school girlfriends at a rock concert.