So the Heart Can Dance (A Hidden Beauty Novel Book 2)

by Mary Crawford

  Aidan pulls me into a tight hug, picks me up and spins me around. For a non-dancer, his moves are pretty good.

  “Tara, I’m thrilled I’ve brought happiness to your life,” Adrian admits. “Sometimes, I’m afraid I push too much. But, all I’ve ever wanted you to be is happy. If being with me is what makes you happy, then it’s even better. Because, even though this is one of the most stressful periods in my life, I’m ecstatic to be here with you. I’ve gotten to the point where I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

  I give him a quick, sweet kiss as I pull away. “So, what does this mean for us?” I call over my shoulder as I go into the bathroom of the hotel room.

  “Well, I suppose we’ll do what busy couples do all the time. We juggle our schedules and try to be with each other as much as we can. But, I don’t want you sacrificing your dreams so I can reach mine,” Aidan replies.

  I feel my frustration level growing as I respond, “Aidan you’re saying all the right things, but it’s more complicated than that. What if your dreams are more important than mine right now?”

  “Tara, that’s ridiculous!” he exclaims. “My dreams might be different from yours, but they’re not more important.”

  “You can’t argue with the fact your dreams are more time sensitive than mine right now. So, just maybe that makes them more important. Besides, I’m so far behind in my degree what difference will a few more months make?” I counter.

  “It makes a lot of difference to me,” Aidan declares. “You’ve worked really hard to get where you are. I don’t want to jeopardize that.”

  “I understand, but—” I start to argue but Aidan interrupts me.

  “Tara, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way because the help that you’ve been giving me is invaluable and I probably wouldn’t have gotten this far without your support. But the reality is that I’ve functioned just fine without an interpreter for almost a decade,” Aidan says in a quiet somber voice.

  “I know,” I acknowledge. “But, if I have the tools I should help you.”

  “Gracie, I’ve waited many years for you to notice me and want to be my girlfriend. So, if push comes to shove, I’d rather have you as my girlfriend than my interpreter,” Aidan insists.

  “Why can’t I be both?” I ask, almost petulantly.

  “In a perfect world, you could be both. But, we’ve both got lives and careers to juggle and sort out between us. That’s going to make things much more complicated.”

  I feel my breath catch as I hear him use that word again. A wave of insecurity washes over me as I ask, “Aidan, the last thing I want to be is a complication or distraction. You can be honest with me, is that how you see me?”

  “Oh God no, Tara!” Aidan exclaims, his voice heavy with emotion. “You are what makes me smile when I wake up and the memories I cherish when I go to sleep. I’d be lying if I said you weren’t a distraction. Yet, I’ve never been more focused on making myself the best person possible so I can make your life better. So, you are a distraction in the best sense of the word. I think about you hundreds of times a day, but that’s not a bad thing.”

  “You can’t deny I’m a complication though,” I assert.

  Aidan rejects my logic as he says, “Gracie, you are one of the most complicated people I know. But, once again, complicated isn’t bad. My life is so much better now that you’re back. I don’t want to go back to simple.”

  My eyes tear up as I respond, “I don’t want to go back to simple either. But, I don’t want to lose myself in the identity of us like my mom did. My mom didn’t know who she was without my dad and eventually it killed her. Sometimes, when I’m with you it’s so easy to rely on your strength and humor I forget to fight my own battles. I don’t ever want to be in the same position my mom was.”

  “Tara, I don’t want you to ever be in that position either. That’s why I don’t want you to set aside your own aspirations just so I can reach mine. It’s not fair of me to ask you to do that. So, I’m going to continue in this contest as long as my luck holds. I want you to go back to school and kick some serious butt.”

  “What if you need an interpreter?” I ask.

  “Well, then I’ll do what I should’ve done in the beginning. I’ll ask for one to be provided for me,” Aidan states.

  “You don’t think it’s going to be a disadvantage in the contest?” I inquire, curious about his changing stance on interpreters.

  Aidan chuckles lightly as he retorts, “Gracie, I think we’ve let the cat out of the bag on my deafness. I think everybody knows about it. If somebody has an issue with it, it’s their problem not mine. Since 5-Star is the one who changed the shooting schedule, they can just provide another interpreter since your schedule is booked.”

  My shoulders sag in relief as I realize he is going to get the help he needs whether he gets it from me or not. “Okay, I’ll go back to school. But, I want you to promise to pull in an interpreter, even if you think you don’t need one. I’d hate for you to lose this contest because you misinterpret an instruction or something.” I state firmly.

  Aidan puts his fingers up in the Boy Scout salute as he pledges, “I promise.”

  Something about his gesture just cracks me up. When I stop laughing, I chastise him a bit, “Aidan Jarith O’Brien, I happen to know you were too busy to be a Boy Scout. You and your brother spent hours and hours in the studio rehearsing. You probably couldn’t even pick out a Boy Scout if you saw one.”

  Aidan turns red and gets a sheepish expression on his face. “I may never have been an actual Boy Scout, but I did help Dolores lead the Cub Scouts one year. Does that count?” he teases.

  “Well, it does earn you brownie points,” I offer.

  “That’s better than nothing,” Aidan quips. “Now that we’ve gotten all the serious stuff out of the way, can we get something to eat? I’m starving.”

  “Poor baby! I wouldn’t want you to a faint from hunger,” I tease. “Just let me change out of my ‘uniform’ and I’ll be right with you.”

  I practically sprint to the bathroom, stopping only momentarily to grab a handful of clothes. I’m not even really sure what I have to wear. Heather and Kiera were pretty ruthless going through my wardrobe and getting rid of all my slouchy clothes.

  I know that Aidan is hungry, so I don’t bother to take a shower. I just throw off all of my black interpreting clothes and pull on some blue jeans. I have two shirts to choose from. One is a perfectly boring long-sleeve T-shirt. The other is a lined lace camisole in emerald green. I know which one I would have chosen before Aidan came back into my life, but I don’t want to play it safe now. So I put on the camisole. I study myself critically in the mirror after I redo my makeup. I am surprised by my own reflection.

  The color looks spectacular on me, and my shoulders are still toned and muscular despite being away from dance for years. I brush out my hair and leave it flowing over my back and shoulders because I know Aidan likes it down.

  I marvel over the fact that I’m making a wardrobe choices based on a guy’s opinion. It just shows how far I’ve come in just a few weeks. I can’t believe I’m purposefully dressing sexy. It’s just one of a thousand little changes that I’ve made because of Aidan’s influence and support.

  When I leave the bathroom, Aidan’s back is turned to me. He’s out on the balcony again with his guitar, playing a song I’ve never heard.

  I sneak up behind him and place a soft kiss on his ear lobe. Initially, he startles and jumps at the intrusion. But as soon as he sees me, a carnal expression crosses his face and he says, “Gorgeous Gracie, you can interrupt me anytime.”

  The open desire on Aidan’s face stuns me for a moment, but then I realize I probably have the same expression on my face whenever he is near me.

  “C’mere, Tara,” he coaxes, standing and holding out his arms to me.

  I walk into his arms as if I’ve been doing it my whole life. I lay my head on his shoulder for a moment before raising my face to hi
s, inviting him to kiss me.

  Aidan hungrily devours my lips in a passionate kiss.

  For a moment, I’m tempted to allow my mind to go to dark places. But, Aidan’s insistent presence and wonderfully sensual mouth reminds me that this is an entirely different situation. So once again I decide to trust myself, as well as Aidan, and go with the flow.

  I wind my fingers through the curls at the back of his neck and pull him even closer, standing on my tiptoes to get better access to his amazing mouth.

  Eventually we have to break apart to get a breath, and Aidan murmurs, “Holy hell, Tara. You give new meaning to the words ‘welcome home’. We’d better go before I forget all my good intentions.”

  We’re both breathing like we’ve run a marathon, and I seriously question whether I want him to honor those good intentions.

  “Umm, I’m going to grab my coat,” I stammer as I try to collect myself and calm my raging hormones. “Are we going to walk to someplace close or call the car service?”

  “I think we should walk,” Aidan suggests. “I’m suddenly in need of a little cold air before dinner.”

  I shoot him a coy smile as he helps me on with my jean jacket. “Sounds like a prudent plan to me,” I reply with a wink.

  We end up at an Irish pub where I’m introduced to a whole new menu of foods. It’s actually quite delicious, and Aidan and I have a great time feeding each other bites from our own plates. Just as our meal is concluding, a small cover band starts to play beside a dance floor that’s about the size of a postage stamp.

  Aidan gets up from his chair, walks over and stands in front of me. He holds his hand out gallantly as he asks, “Tara Isamu, may I have the honor of this dance?”

  Before I can answer, Aidan pulls my hand towards his mouth and kisses the back of my hand.

  I’m so charmed by the old-fashioned gesture that I momentarily forget that I no longer dance. So I nod and whisper, “I’d love to.”

  It must be difficult for Aidan to hear in this environment, but he reads my lips clearly. He grins and leads me to the dance floor.

  While we wait for the next song to begin, I start to get nervous remembering how long it’s been since I’ve danced.

  Aidan notices the expression on my face, links his fingers with mine, and says, “Tara, this is not a performance. It’s just us. I’ve got you. Relax and enjoy.”

  I take a deep breath and follow his lead. He’s right. The restaurant patrons are paying us no mind as the band starts to play. The first song is an upbeat song called Better Together.

  Aidan smirks when he hears the music. “It’s a good thing I stay in shape rock climbing, or you would totally wipe the floor with me. Jack Johnson might spell the end of my very short-lived dancing career.”

  I arch an eyebrow at him and tease, “Come now, this is only a medium tempo song. You’re not afraid of a little sweat, are you?”

  Aidan’s eyes darken as he studies me. He draws his finger down across my bottom lip as he remarks in a sexy growl, “You wish. I’m the one who thinks a bit of sweat is sexy, remember?”

  “As I recall, you think everything is sexy. So I’m not sure I should be impressed,” I quip as we settle into a foxtrot of sorts and move around the small dance floor as smoothly as we can. I have forgotten how much fun it is to dance with another person. Aidan has a huge grin on his face, and his eyes are bright and happy. It’s the most relaxed I’ve seen him since we arrived in California. As the song ends, he gathers me in a hug and whispers, “Thank you, Tara. That was incredible.”

  I return the hug joyously and kiss him briefly. It’s a huge step for me, but I’m very aware that we’re standing in the middle of the dance floor.

  The band takes notice of our body language and immediately launches into a slow song. I recognize this one, because I have it on my playlist. The band is doing a pretty decent job covering Ray LaMontagne’s You Are The Best Thing. I’m impressed.

  Aidan tucks me close to his chest and rests his chin on my head. I’m glad I decided not to wear heels, because I fit perfectly in his arms. We sway back and forth in what could be only loosely termed a waltz. Yet I’ve never felt so beautiful, even without fancy costumes and choreography.

  The band segues into a new song. I can hear the smile in Aidan’s voice as he says, “I wasn’t expecting Hunter Hayes, but I love this song. The lyrics are great songwriting.”

  The lyrics are so touching, they almost make me cry. I realize I’m actually in a relationship like that. The person that I’m with wants me and cherishes me. It’s something I always dreamed of having, but never thought would ever happen to me. I do indeed feel wanted for the first time in what seems like forever. I look up at Aidan, as I comment, “You’re right, it is the perfect song because there’s no doubt that I feel “Wanted” when we’re together.

  When the song ends, Aidan pulls me into a tight embrace. Standing there forehead to forehead, hearts pounding a million miles a minute, Aidan declares, “I could have written every word of that song, because it’s exactly how I feel. I want you to know that I want you. Physically, intellectually and emotionally—I need you.”

  There’s no holding back my tears now, and they stream down my face. “That’s convenient, because I feel the same way about you.” I say, attempting to smile, though tears are brimming and threatening to fall.

  Aidan wipes my tears away with the pads on his thumbs. “Why the tears, Gracie?” he asks. “This is a happy day for celebration.”

  “I’m crying because this is better than I ever dreamed. These are tears of happiness.”

  “Okay. You had me scared there for a second. Because tears are not really the reaction I wanted to hear when I pledged my undying love.”

  My eyebrows shoot toward my hairline and my jaw goes slack with shock. “Is that what we’re doing here?”

  “Well, to borrow your phrase, we’re on a threshold,” Aidan replies with a slow grin.

  As we walk back toward the hotel room, I’m mentally kicking myself for allowing my mouth to get ahead of my brain again. I didn’t mean for the conversation to get so deep. Everything I said to Tara was absolutely true, but I’m not sure it was smart to share my feelings so soon. I might scare Tara off for good, if I don’t back off and give her more time.

  Tara nudges me with her elbow as she asks. “Aidan, are you even listening to me?”

  “Sorry, I was thinking,” I reply, as I interlace my fingers with hers.

  “Should I be worried, or is this just part of your mysterious songwriting process?” Tara inquires, chewing on her lip.

  “I didn’t mean to scare you. Sometimes I just get lost in my thoughts. I think it’s an occupational hazard. I do have to work on my song tonight. So, what did you say that I missed?” I ask.

  “Oh, it was nothing important,” Tara says dismissively.

  “Despite appearances to the contrary, what you say is important to me,” I coax. “Please tell me again.”

  Tara flushes a pretty shade of pink. “Really, it’s no big deal. I just said that I was really surprised how much fun I had dancing. I thought it would be a much bigger deal.”

  “That’s great news!” I exclaim. “Hopefully the rest of your dance skills will come back just as easily.”

  “I hope so too,” Tara replies wistfully. “I’ve missed dancing…maybe more than I realized.”

  “Let’s work on that after this competition. I want you to dance like a puppy playing in a meadow.”

  Tara laughs lightly. “I’m not sure I was ever that carefree, even as a kid. You may be setting your sights a little too high.”

  “Still, it will be fun finding out what you can do. You were totally magnificent as a kid. I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like to see you dance as an adult.”

  “Aidan, it’s been years since I’ve danced. I’m sure I’m going to totally disappoint.”

  “You never know until you try,” I rebut. “I’m sure that you’ll be beautiful and graceful— just
like you always were.”

  As I sit in hair and makeup waiting for my turn, Tara comes to my rescue with an extra large triple shot of espresso. I am so exhausted I can barely think. I guess I’m vying for worst boyfriend of the year. I started out with good intentions, but something went awry.

  After dinner and dancing, Tara and I returned to our room. She mentioned she was sweaty from dancing. I offered to run her a bubble bath, but she just laughed and insisted that she was a big girl and could run her own water. She took her cell phone and a book with her to the tub. When I teased her about it, she said that she had worked all day and deserved a long “stay-cation” with her bubbles. Her effervescent laugh hit me in the core of my being. I hadn’t heard her laugh so freely since we were kids.

  Since she was occupied, I decided to work on her song. Unlike the weather in Oregon, it’s unseasonably warm in Southern California. I took my lyric book and guitar to the balcony and started working. I’ve never worked on anything quite so personal and I find that capturing my feelings for Tara in a song is slow-going. I want to show the changes in her life and how she’s become my inspiration, muse and hero.

  It’s difficult to capture all facets of Tara in a simple song. She is the essence of complicated. Everything about her is a study in contrasts. She’s the personification of grace and beauty, yet she perceives herself as awkward and gangly. She routinely kicks herself for not being stronger in the face of adversity, but I see only resilience. I see the child who practically raised herself and also pulled herself out of hell. I have no idea how she accomplished that while alone in the world. I see a woman so beautiful, she takes my breath away. Still, when she looks in the mirror, that’s not the woman she sees. I see a woman who feels she can trust no one, even herself. Yet I’ve seen her open herself up to me in ways I never thought possible. She claims that she’s not lovable, but I’m falling deeper in love with her each day.

  I struggle to capture all my emotions—past and present—in a coherent song. Contest or not, this is the most important song I’ve ever written. I only intended to write until Tara got out of the bathtub. But the next time I glance at the clock, I realize I’d been writing for over three hours. I quickly put my guitar down to check on Tara. She has fallen asleep on the couch with the throw blanket casually tossed over her body and it’s fallen nearly on the ground. I picked it up, tucked it around her, and softly kissed her. When she didn’t even stir, I decided to let her sleep. I brushed my teeth and stripped off my clothes before collapsing into bed.