So the Heart Can Dance (A Hidden Beauty Novel Book 2)

by Mary Crawford

  Glenn Smokes, the host with the toothpaste-commercial-worthy grin asks me the same question he’s asked for all of the other rounds, “So, Aidan do you have anything to say about your win?”

  I’m sure that he’s expecting the same sort of benign gratefulness I’ve expressed in earlier rounds. But instead I utter the scariest words I’ve ever said, “Glenn, I’m really proud of my performances on this show, and I hope people draw strength from songs like I performed tonight. Unfortunately, out of fairness to the other competitors, I’m going to step aside.”

  A collective gasp goes up from the audience, the stage crew, and the other contestants. For the first time ever, Glenn is not smiling at me as he struggles to formulate a question. I watch his mouth open and close several times like a guppy. When he can finally formulate a question, he asks me, “Why in the world would you do that?”

  “When I agreed to appear on the show, it was my understanding I would be treated like every other contestant. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. Unfortunately, somewhere in the process, someone decided promoting my persona as a person with deafness became more important than maintaining an even playing field. I’m not ashamed of my deafness, but I don’t want it to be used as a marketing tool. That was never my intent. So, to maintain my integrity, I’m withdrawing from the competition. It’s the only fair thing to do.”

  Glenn looks incredulous as he asks, “Are you sure you want to do this? You won’t be able to wake up tomorrow and change your mind.”

  I nod as I reply, “Regretfully, I’m sure. I’ve enjoyed my time on the show more than you can imagine, but it’s the only ethical thing I can do at this point.”

  The stage manager is frantically signaling for us to wrap up our interview.

  Glenn takes note as he says, “Well, there you have it folks. We won’t have an elimination this week because Aidan has withdrawn from the competition.”

  As soon as the cameras shut down, Clover Branch storms over to me and screams, “I can’t believe you did that to us after all of the money we invested in you. If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even have had a chance on the show. I stuck my neck out for you!”

  “Look, Ms. Branch. I really appreciate the opportunity. But if you value me so much, maybe you shouldn’t have broken our agreement,” I state emphatically.

  “Well, to be honest, I figured you’d be grateful for the extra promotion. Who in their right mind wouldn’t be? After we started running those promotions, votes for you went up 11%,” she replies defensively.

  “Don’t you understand you just made my argument for me?” I ask with exasperation. “If I have to rely on sympathy votes to get me through, then I don’t deserve to be the winner. I warned you the one thing that was important to me was everyone would be treated equally in this competition. You made a spectacle of my deafness and I’m totally not okay with that. So, I just have to find another way to make it because I won’t do it by cheating. I wish the show the best.”

  “I suppose you’re going to insist that we follow through with the prize package you won tonight?” she asks wryly.

  “Yes, ma’am I am. It’s only fair since you changed the format of the show even though I asked you not to and you violated our agreement,” I explain.

  “Fine!” She hisses through clenched teeth. “But don’t expect any other favors from 5-Star. We were hoping to represent you after the competition was over, but consider that offer withdrawn.” With that announcement, she turns on her heel and rushes off of the stage.

  I grab my guitar from backstage and sink onto an old stool. I can’t help but wonder if I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life. Why is standing up for what you know is right always the most painful choice?

  When a customer comes to the door, I look up from the TV my boss has stashed beside the counter for bad weather alerts. It’s just a little TV made for a camper, but my boss hooked it up to cable so he could watch the golfing channel, so it works for me too. I’d rather be at home. My TV is not huge, but at least it’s bigger than a couple of index cards. I really wish I could see better because I can’t quite make out the expression on Aidan’s face.

  Geez, how long does it take this person to pick out a bag of potato chips and some soda? He always gets the same thing when he comes in here anyway. I’m usually not this inpatient, but I don’t want to miss Aidan’s performance. Finally, after what seems like forever, the customer checks out and I can go back to watching television.

  That’s weird, when I talked to Aidan this morning, he was planning to do a song on his guitar. I don’t understand why he’s walking over to the piano. Crap, I wonder what I missed.

  He starts to play a song that isn’t in his usual genre. As I listen, I realize the lyrics could have been written about me. I know he didn’t write the song because I’ve heard it on the radio before when I rode in Tyler’s truck. But it’s a stunningly accurate portrayal of how I feel. It traces my steps from innocence to self-destructive behavior and from loneliness to love. I’ve done a lot of praying to make my past go away. I love that the song recognizes that in order to become a survivor, it’s important to have outside support. I understand now since I’ve begun to share my story with my friends, I should’ve done it much sooner. The song so precisely describes my journey listening to it inflicts an interesting mix of pain and catharsis.

  Before I know it, the song is over and Aidan is walking off stage. It was without a doubt the best I’ve ever heard him sing. I watch the other two competitors sing. They are good, but not even close to Aidan. Of course, I freely admit I might be a touch biased. When they announce him as a finalist, I’m not at all shocked. It’s so cute to see him interact with the younger contestant. It’s clear they’ve become friends.

  Wait…did I see what I think I just saw? I wish I was at home with my DVR so I could rewind it to make sure. Still, I’m pretty sure I saw Aidan flash me the sign for “I love you” together with my name sign. My name sign is pretty unique. It’s the sign for war paint and an acknowledgment of my long hair. It’s hard to miss if you know what you’re looking for. Wow. Just wow. I had a pretty good idea we were headed in this direction; I just didn’t realize he was planning to acknowledge it so publicly. Maybe I’m making too much of this, but I feel like one of those girls whose fiancé proposed in the middle of Wrigley Stadium.

  I study his body language when the camera pans to him during another group’s performance. My heart pounds with anticipation. I think he’s actually going to do it. I wish I could be there to support him. After the world’s longest commercial, Aidan is front and center. The hyper host is interviewing him. Oh my gosh! He really did quit the show. He must be heartbroken. Yet, I’m so proud of him. I know this was not an easy decision for him.. It’s a huge leap of faith. I don’t know that if I were in his shoes, I would be brave enough to make the same choice.

  My shift ended at 11:00. At last! I hurry home and hop in the shower because no matter what I do, when I work at the gas station, I end up smelling like a walking gas pump. After the world’s quickest shower, I log on my computer to see if he’s available on Skype.

  Aidan must’ve been waiting for me, because as soon as I log on to Skype, my computer beeps to signal he’s calling. There must be a delay in the connection because after I say, “Hello,” I hear him say, “Where are you, Gracie? I can hear your voice, but I can’t see your face.”

  Just then, twin boxes pop up on my computer with our video streams in them. “I’m right here,” I tease.

  “Oh, thank God!” Aidan exclaims. “I’ve just had the longest day ever. I’m afraid I just made a huge mistake.”

  “I don’t think you made a mistake. I think it’s going be the smartest move you ever made,” I assure him. “I like to think that goodness and honesty always win out in the end.”

  “That’s all well and good in theory. But the reality is I’m unemployed. I cancelled all of my upcoming gigs for a while because I didn’t know how long I was going to be on the show. At
this moment, I’m just a tank full of gas away from sleeping on my mom’s couch.”

  “I’d rather have a guy with principles over a guy with the fancy job and car, any day of the week,” I announce.

  “Well, I’m glad to hear it. Because I don’t have a fancy job or a fancy car,” he responds.

  An idea starts to percolate in my head. I’m not even sure it’s a good idea, but it sounds really fun. “Do you want a temporary job?”

  Aidan looks surprised. “What kind of job?” he asks cautiously.

  “The expression on your face is too funny! It’s a legitimate job, Aidan. Well, I guess, more accurately, it’s a bona fide volunteer position which could morph into a position that leads to something more.”

  “I can’t really afford to be choosy,” Aidan answers. “But you still didn’t tell me what kind of job it is.”

  “I thought I told you about this,” I muse. “Remember, I told you I get to work as an interpreter for a day camp? They’re still looking for volunteers. I thought it might be cool for kids that age to see what you’ve accomplished.”

  “I’m not really sure I’m your guy. I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished much, right now, other than maybe screwing up my life,” Aidan laments.

  “Aidan, I know it seems bleak right now. But they weren’t very trustworthy. Who knows how they would’ve hijacked your career and made it something you don’t want it to be?” I offer sympathetically.

  I can see Aidan sigh deeply. “I guess, intellectually, I know that. But leaving the show was one of the most frightening things I’ve ever done in my life.”

  “I understand, Aidan, I really do. But you have to believe that something better is going to come around. You’re just too talented for it not to.”

  Aidan smiles a crooked smile. “You’re required to say that because you’re my girlfriend, but I don’t know what the general public will say. They may not be as supportive.”

  “I know it was a terribly scary gamble. But I think it’s going to pay off.”

  “Are you just being an enthusiastic cheerleader, or do you have a real sense of these things?”

  I shrug as I answer, “I don’t know. I suppose it’s a bit of both.”

  “Are you ever wrong?” he asks, full of curiosity.

  “If I am, I don’t hear about it. People don’t usually follow up with me unless they want more information.”

  “Your prediction is one of the few pieces of good news I’ve gotten today, so I’m going to roll with it.”

  “Aidan, I was watching at work, so I had a few interruptions. Did I hear correctly that Holy Water was released on iTunes?”

  For the first time tonight, Aidan gives me a genuine smile which goes all the way to his eyes. “Yeah, that was pretty sweet,” he admits. “I wasn’t expecting it at all. Hopefully it will do well, and I’ll get something out of this whole experience.”

  “I thought I read in the contract that you get to keep a portion of the proceeds for any of your music they release to the public,” I reply, trying to recall the contract language.

  “You’re right, I do get to keep about five cents per download. At that rate, I don’t expect to get rich anytime soon,” Aidan responds.

  “Oh well, it’s better than nothing,” I reason. “The notoriety you get by withdrawing from the contest may get you further than those royalties from the publisher.”

  “I hope so. Because being broke royally sucks,” he states.

  “I totally agree. Most days, I’d rather be a rich person,” I commiserate.

  “So, since your days are suddenly free… Are you interested in helping me host the camp for the junior high kids?”

  Aidan shrugs. “Sure, it sounds like fun. It’s not like I’ve got job offers stacking up at my front door.”

  “Okay, I’ll let my supervisor know that you want to help out. You’ll have to fill out an application.”

  “That’s not a problem. It’s not like I don’t have a bunch of free time right now,” Aidan quips.

  “Oh, come on it’s gonna be fun,” I cajole. “What could be more fun than a bunch of hormonal junior high school kids on a field trip?” I answer as I cross my eyes, mimicking Aidan’s classic cheer-up-move.

  “Sounds like a barrel of monkeys to me,” Aidan says with a laugh.

  “Not to sound greedy or anything, but when are you coming home?” I ask.

  “My flight leaves the first thing in the morning. I had to sweet talk the hotel manager because 5-Star cut off funding for my room. It’s a good thing they like me around here, or I would’ve been homeless in LA.”

  “Oh, that sucks!” I sympathize. “Can you come over later?”

  “Just try to stop me…” Aidan declares.

  “I’m just going to be home studying for tests. I have class for an hour and a half starting at two o' clock.”

  “Great, I’ll see you later,” I respond.

  “Gorgeous Gracie, thanks for turning my day around,” Aidan says as he clicks off the camera.

  I send text messages to Heather and Kiera as fast as I can type.

  “I need an emergency session of the Girlfriend Posse, can we meet for breakfast?”

  Heather immediately texts me back. “I can do Panera’s at 8:30. I have to go to the restaurant supply store.”

  As I’m reading Heather’s text, one comes in from Kiera. “You know me, I don’t need a good excuse for Panera’s.”

  Heather dumps her purse on the chair next to the table as she does a quick inventory of me. “Wow, this is about as a frazzled as I’ve ever seen you, so what’s going on?”

  “Can we grab something to eat and wait for Kiera?” I suggest. “I don’t really want to tell all this twice.”

  “That sounds good to me. I love their bagels here. I can make them, but it’s such a pain,” Heather responds.

  At that moment, Kiera comes zipping in with Becca on her lap.

  “Sorry I’m late, but there was somebody in Mindy’s school drop off zone that had a flat, and I got stuck behind them. My dad had a doctor’s appointment this morning, so he wasn’t able to watch Becca,” she explains.

  “No problem,” I assure her. “We just got here ourselves.”

  “Oh, Tara, are you getting any sleep?” Kiera asks with alarm in her voice. “I’ve never seen you not put together.”

  “It’s a long story. I recommend you get food and drink for this.”

  Heather looks worried. “Is it really that bad? Now you have me scared.”

  “That’s what you guys are here for. I need you to help me decide if I’m freaking out over nothing,” I explain.

  “Take a deep breath, Tara,” advises Kiera. “We’ll figure this out.”

  As we go back to our table, Heather asks, “So how are things with you and the hunky musician? I saw him the other day on television. You are one lucky chick. Not to poach your guy or anything, but he’s pretty amazing to look at.”

  I give Heather a hard look. “Aren’t you already stringing along an adorable hunk of your own? Get your eyes off my guy!”

  “I hate to tell you this, Tar, there probably aren’t too many women out there who don’t take a few minutes to admire your man. You might as well get used to it,” Heather teases.

  I know Heather is teasing, but there’s some truth to it. Even before he gained this notoriety, Aidan could attract people to him—all people. So I have no doubt he’s going to quickly have his own set of groupies.

  Kiera notices the expression on my face and says to Heather, “Geez, Heather, way to freak her out even more. We’re supposed to be her support system.”

  “It’s all right, Kiera, I know my guy is a hot commodity. It’s not a newsflash to me. Aidan is charismatic. I think I’ll have to suck it up and accept that about him.”

  “You have a drop-dead gorgeous guy falling all over himself to make you happy. Can you tell me what the issue is here?” Heather asks. “Because I think it sounds like a recipe for success.”


  “I know you guys are going to think I’m crazy. But I can’t stop thinking that all of this might be too good to be true. I’m afraid to trust it.”

  Kiera nods her head in agreement. “I totally get it. I felt that way when Jeff and I started dating. He was everything I always dreamed of in a guy. I spent a lot of time wondering what he saw in me and why his response to me was different from everyone else’s.”

  “What did you do about it?” I ask.

  “In a nutshell, I got over myself,” she retorts with a self-deprecating chuckle. “I finally started to see myself through his eyes and was amazed at his view of me. I had to decide I deserved that degree of happiness, even if it had eluded me in the past.”

  “That sounds like what I need to do,” I concede. “But it’s so scary. What if he changes his mind, or what if I’ve dreamed up this whole fantasy?”

  “Honey chile’,” Heather says with an exaggerated Southern accent, “I’ve seen the way that man looks at you. The chances of him changing his mind are slim to nothing.”

  “I know. He basically confessed he has loved me since he was about six,” I admit. I watch Heather and Kiera getting a little misty eyed.

  Kiera looks at me with sympathy and asks, “How is this a problem? I think it’s really sweet.”

  “I don’t know!” I reply in frustration. “It just seems too good to be true. How can he be in love with the person I was back then, and still be in love with the person I am now? We’re two different people! It doesn’t make any sense.”

  “Oh sweetie, what that bastard did to you…it didn’t change who you are. It just changed how you react to things,” Heather declares.

  “Are you sure?” I ask. “I feel so different. I feel like he robbed me of the chance to be me.”

  “Warren Jones may have changed you. But if he did, he changed you in good ways too. You’re tougher and stronger and more observant now.”

  “That’s true,” I concede. “Do you think it’s possible Aidan really does love both sides of me? You know, the way I was before and after.”