A Heart for the Holidays

by Dana Volney

  She stomped toward him, no apology on her face as her eyes narrowed on him. “You’d made the decision to ignore your own life, to be content with dying. I refuse to watch you die, not when you have the option to live. The only thing I’m sorry for is not trying to talk you out of that mindset before yesterday. You will never hear me apologize for your new chance at life. Ever.” This time when she turned around her blond curls bounced all the way out the door, until he could no longer see her down the hallway.

  He didn’t know whether he wanted to kiss her and hold her in his arms, or if he never wanted to see her again.

  • • •

  “Knock, knock.” Henry entered the hospital room just as Fisher finished dinner. If he wanted to call Jell-O, ginger ale, and cranberry juice with ice chips on the side dinner. Because he didn’t. He wanted a fat steak the size of a cow. “Merry Christmas.”

  Henry had get-well balloons and a red-and-white bouquet of flowers in his hands.

  “Flowers and balloons, really?”

  “The nurses confiscated the six-pack.”

  “Figures.” Fisher laid his head back down. He’d been in and out of sleep all day thanks to the pain meds. If his mind had its way, he’d be rehashing both fights he’d had with Silver in the last day. “What took you so long?”

  “I was here through your surgery and had to make up the sleep somehow. Plus, your girlfriend’s stress level wore me out.”

  “Oh, she told you what to do, too?”

  “You’re lucky you were with her. She saved your life.” Henry’s matter-of-fact tone left no room for retort. He sat in the same chair Silver had slept in by Fisher’s side. “You scared us, my man. If the transplant people hadn’t called when they did, I don’t know how many more tests you would’ve had to go through. You were out, and the doctors didn’t know why.”

  “So I’ve heard.”

  “Speaking of, where is Silver? I thought she’d be glued to your side.”

  “She was here when I woke up. Then we started to fight about the transplant. She thinks she can make any choice she wants to. She had no right.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “She didn’t file my paperwork to be taken off the list. Then, she made sure they put a new ticker in me when I was out cold.”

  “Being mad at her for saving your life is messed up. Even for you.”

  “She overstepped big time.”

  “You don’t even have your information straight. She didn’t get the call about a heart. I did. You remember when you signed all that paperwork? And again when you revised your will a couple weeks ago? I’m your emergency contact and power of attorney. I was here at the hospital. When I got here, she was already in the waiting room and worried sick. I’m the one who had to make the decision.”

  “She didn’t force the transplant?”

  “No. She was stressed and terrified and scared she was going to lose you. I know, because I was in that same boat with her. She said she didn’t want you to die but that I knew you best, and if I really thought you didn’t want the heart then I shouldn’t sign. But if there was any shred of doubt, I should okay the transplant because you might not get the chance again. It was a perfect storm. I didn’t know if you were ever going to wake up. You’re a brother to me. I don’t think you really want to die. If I made a bad judgment call, I’m sorry. Be mad at me. But it’s over and done, and you don’t have to worry about dying on the table. So instead of dying on your own terms, how about you start living by them?”

  “That’s the only choice I have now.”

  “The other thing you need to do is make sure you make things right with that woman. She’s a good person who only wants the best for you. Don’t screw it up. You have a longer life expectancy now, and you don’t want to spend all those years completely alone because you’re stubborn.”

  “It’s too late.”

  “I doubt it. I watched her. She cares about you.”

  But he had pushed her away one too many times. He had no idea where to even begin to make things right. And there were still too many unknowns in his future. Silver didn’t deserve to be strung along while he sorted out his new life.

  chapter THIRTEEN

  Silver walked out of the hospital. She was starting the new year off right. Giving her notice hadn’t been nearly as hard as she’d thought. Today was the first step to her next best life. There was something out there, and she was going to find it. Until then she wasn’t going the office route. Her savings would feel the hit, but she’d done the math. She had six months to get her act together and take a position that would make her happy. She’d already put in an application for a teaching job.

  If only she could add being with Fisher to her new life plan.

  He’d been released two weeks after his surgery, having no problem with his recovery so far. Or so she’d heard from Lorelei, who’d overheard it from Henry.

  “Silver,” a male voice called out, and she stopped, turning to her left. Henry, in a dark-gray jacket, came to a stop at her side. “I’m glad I caught you.” A bouquet of pink flowers in his hand swayed toward her.

  “What can I help you with?” Her gut started to knot—was Fisher having problems? What were the flowers for?

  She’d thought about Fisher every single day since his surgery. She knew he needed space. His arms wouldn’t be wide open to her until he came around and forgave her. If he ever did.

  “It’s about Fisher.”

  She held her breath. No, no. Please let him be okay. She crossed her arms around her midsection and dug her nails into her coat. “What about him?” she asked slowly. Please don’t be bad news.

  “He’s pigheaded.”

  Her brows narrowed. “Come again?” Her gaze dropped back to the flowers. Pink carnations. That was familiar. Why?

  “I’m probably out of line, but that’s a best friend’s job, right?”

  A chuckle escaped her lips as she tried to smile. Where was this going? “This should be good.” She smiled. She missed Henry. She missed being in Fisher’s world.

  “Listen. Don’t write him off just yet, that’s all I’m saying. I know you two haven’t talked since he woke up, and going to CCH for a big conversation probably isn’t the best setting. But I know you’ll think of something.” Henry checked his watch, the flowers bouncing in their plastic wrapping. “I’ve got to run. It was nice to see you.”

  “You, too, Henry. Happy New Year.”

  She stood in the middle of the entryway for a couple beats as people maneuvered around her to get inside and out of the brisk winter air, before heading for her car. Pink carnations. Those were the flowers Fisher always took to Maggie’s grave on the anniversary of her death. It must be today. He’d be at the cemetery.

  She was out to lunch. Totally crazy. She was just going to show up at Maggie’s gravesite, a very personal place for Fisher, and… What? Declare her love for him? He’d rejected her the last time they’d spoken. Yeah, not going to happen.

  She couldn’t.

  She wouldn’t.

  She blew air through her lips as she buckled her seat belt. She was not going to go chasing after someone who didn’t want anything to do with her. That would be pathetic or embarrassing.

  Or liberating.

  • • •

  Fisher clenched the bouquet of pink carnations in his hand and took the seven steps from the road to Maggie’s grave.

  “Hey there, baby girl,” he whispered as he bent down and set the fresh flowers in the vase to the right of the headstone.

  Every year it was harder. Every year the sorrow clenched at his chest, his soul, and emptiness took over. Dragged him down into a black pit. If he didn’t come, would it get easier? No. He thought about her every day. He knew the nooks and crannies of her gravesite like he knew the back of his hand. Being there, not being there, this day was hard to get through no matter what. At least when he was here, there was a stronger connection to her life.

  “I got a ne
w heart.”

  The scar that ran down half of his torso was healing. It wasn’t his shell he was so worried about these days. The ache he felt went deeper than his chest, and the only way he was going to restore his heart fully was to talk to Silver. But he didn’t know the right words to tell her he was sorry for his assumptions, and the anger, and not communicating with her and instead pushing her away. He really just wanted a fresh start with her. Only her.

  “I’m gonna grow up and marry you, Daddy,” Maggie’d said and twirled.

  Megpie had been obsessed with princesses, couldn’t get enough of Cinderella, Belle, and Jasmine, making him watch the movies nonstop. He could see her now with her curly blond pigtails, wearing plastic heels and a crown with pink gems. “Baby girl, you’re going to marry someone much better than me,” he’d replied and picked her up to dance around the room.

  “Then you can find a princess, too. She’ll have hair like me, and we’ll be a family.” Her head leaned back, a big grin on her cute, perfectly round face, as he spun them around.

  She’d never lost that big, larger-than-life smile. Even when it was hard for her to breathe and her little body was hooked up to so many machines, she had still wanted her princess dress and movies and crown.

  A car door shut in the distance, taking him from the past.

  He’d found a princess with blond hair like hers, all right. “You were right, baby girl.”

  He stood and looked into the distance, blinking away tears before they started. The sun was high in the sky, but clouds were rolling in.

  The ground crinkled underneath feet behind him. He never knew whether to make eye contact with other grieving people or to greet them at all. He turned to head back to his car, keeping his gaze on the ground in front of him.

  “Hi.”

  His head shot up, and he stared into Silver’s blue eyes. Her hands were hidden in her jacket pockets as she walked toward him, stopping a good three feet away.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked.

  Her head bobbed twice, and she started to swivel back in the direction she’d just come. “This was a bad idea.”

  “No,” he blurted. “You don’t have to leave. I just …” He ran his palm down his scruffy beard. “How did you know I was here?” Had he willed her to the cemetery?

  “Henry.”

  “Ah, I see.” Henry was sticking his nose into Fisher’s business a lot lately. Okaying the heart transplant had been only the beginning—Henry had also talked to Fisher’s doctors to line up physical therapy, taken care of CCH in Fisher’s absence, and scheduled a dietary consultant for his post-hospital stay. Now he’d somehow convinced Silver to come to Maggie’s grave. Damn, he was a good brother from another mother.

  He took one step toward her. She didn’t move back. That was a good sign. “I know it was Henry’s decision. About the heart.”

  She bit her lower lip, his gaze dropped to her mouth, and he took another step closer.

  “I’m sorry for not being forthcoming about who I was and why I showed up at CCH,” she said.

  “Apology accepted.” Whew, that took a load off. “How have you been?”

  “I think I’m supposed to ask you that.” The sides of her eyes crinkled as she searched his.

  “Recovery is going well. I got out earlier than expected. Numbers are good. Breathing is getting better with each day.”

  “A cracked rib is one thing, but to have your entire chest opened is a whole other story.”

  “You’re telling me.” He took one more step, her perfume filling his lungs. He could reach out and wrap her into his arms if he wanted. If she’d let him. “I’m sorry for the last time we spoke. I was in a bit of shock, I think.”

  “As is to be expected. I’m sure it was a lot to take in.”

  “I should’ve called you. Or stopped by.”

  “That would’ve been nice.”

  He clenched the little jewelry box in his pocket. It was stupid, really, a small piece of jewelry he’d had made to leave at Maggie’s grave. A part of him was always thinking about her, so it seemed like a natural step to literally leave a chunk of him with her permanently. He’d put a lot of thought into the necklace that held his heart. This whole living thing was going to take some getting used to—no more planning for the day or week. He had years to think about.

  Silver was here now. Alive and breathing. She’d captured his heart from the first time she’d walked through the CCH doors in her high heels and knowing stare. There was no time like the present to let her know that.

  “I want you to have this.” He handed her the little red box.

  “What is it?” she asked even though she was already taking off the white bow.

  “Just open it.”

  She flipped open the lid to a silver outline of a heart with a second, solid heart dangling in the middle. She tenderly took it from the case and held it up between them.

  “My heart is yours,” she said, reading the inscription on the middle heart. Her gaze flicked up to his and searched.

  “I had my heart, the original model, cremated.” He gestured to the piece of his heart she now cradled in her palm. “The only logical place for it to be, though, is with you.”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  His throat tightened, and he swallowed down a wave of nausea. He was trying to tell her that he loved her. He reached out and palmed the sides of her arms. “You’ll always have it. The original one with all its bumps and bruises and sorrow and death and joy and miracles, because you’re my angel. You’ve been looking out for me since before we met.”

  A tear ran down her cheek. Did that mean she loved him back? He was literally offering her his heart.

  “You had the first version, and you have this one, too,” he continued because she hadn’t even tried to speak and if he kept going maybe he’d talk her into loving him. “If you’ll give me the chance I want to love you wholeheartedly.”

  He slid his palms down to grasp her hips. “You made my heart whole again.” He pressed his lips to hers. “Life is better with you in it, and the only time I can see a future, my future, is when I picture it with you. I don’t want a future if you aren’t in it. You’re the only one since Maggie who allows me to see a life, a full life, one with love and family and joy.”

  Tears were freely running down her cheeks now. “That’s some speech. And this is some token.” She put the necklace on then wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m in love with you.” She kissed him then pulled back. “But there’s something you should know.”

  “What?”

  “I just quit my job.”

  A nervous chuckle escaped his lips. “That doesn’t matter. We’ll figure it out.”

  “I want to join the Red Cross and be a health and safety instructor.”

  “That’s perfect. You’ll be great at it.” He kissed her again. “I love you.” A moan escaped his throat. “That feels so good to say out loud. To you.”

  A grin brightened her gaze. “I love you, too.” She pressed her lips to his, and the entire world fell away as pleasure rolled through his body. He held her tightly. He wasn’t ever letting go.

  His heart had never been so strong.

  Acknowledgments

  Thank you to Crimson Romance and Tara Gelsomino for being such an awesome publisher! You are a fun and accomplished group of people who make the publishing process enjoyable every step of the way. I appreciate your continued support!

  To my beloved editor, Julie Sturgeon, thank you for being more than an editor but a friend. And an amazing brainstormer on many different fronts—Plucky, punchy, and pure fun is the perfect tag line. Thank you!

  To Jami Wagner, thank you for pulling for this holiday story! I appreciate your willingness to be a beta reader with a quick turnaround time and for our awesome meeting to go over your notes—not everyone would have been okay with breaking throughout to witness key Olympic moments.

  To my unfailingly encouraging family, than
k you for championing me! I appreciate you more than I’ll ever be able to put into words. Marissa—thank you for your medical terminology help and beta reading so I’m not “that guy.”

  Thank you to my friends, family, writing group cohorts, and readers who have and continue to support my dreams. You inspire me every day and are appreciated!

  About the Author

  Dana Volney lets her imagination roam free in Wyoming, where she writes romances and helps local businesses succeed with her marketing consulting company. Splitting her time between telling sexy, fast-paced suspense stories and sweet holiday romances, she likes to try new adventures in real life whenever she can (which, let’s face it, means tasting all sorts of delicious cuisines). Dana is bold, adventurous, and—by her own admission—good with plants, having kept a dwarf lemon tree alive for six months.

  More from This Author

  The December Deal

  Dana Volney

  Lilia Carrigan set her cup down on the small table in the coffee shop and took her seat in the corner with a view of the mountains. There had to be something she could do to raise money quickly. She opened her laptop and slouched in the hard wooden chair. She and her siblings had set up a GoFundMe campaign to ask for donations and pooled what little extra money they each had, but it wasn’t nearly enough. A fundraiser at the pub was a viable idea, but they needed hundreds of thousands of dollars, and their friends weren’t that rich. Twelve thousand dollars was only five percent of what they actually needed.

  Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a tall man walking straight toward her. There was no mistaking his intention. She glanced up and took in his luscious brown hair, intense blue eyes, and his business attire down to his shiny black dress shoes. The man was stunning—his cobalt eyes smiled at her, and his entire face radiated sexy with a self-assured smile. Great. She was going to have to be a jerk, tell this guy she wasn’t into small talk, and move him on his merry way.

  He pulled out a chair at the table next to her, unbuttoned his black peacoat, and sat with an ease that was a tad intimidating. An older, shorter man appeared behind him, plopped down across from him, and proceeded to continue a conversation about metal prices.