The Duke of My Heart (Regency Romance)

by Hanna Hamilton

  Iris sighed loudly and glanced around her familiar surroundings, trying to adjust herself to the thought that everything was going to change. Things had been delightfully comfortable for far too long, and now that was over. She was going to have to find it within herself to face this with some form of bravery, however challenging that was.

  There was no more fighting, no more battling this, it was too late. Sooner or later, Iris was going to become Duchess Loftus Pembroke. Her mysterious uncle would come, he would sort everything out on her behalf, she would meet the Duke and things would go from there. Her future was now set in stone.

  Chapter 6

  Iris tried her best to remain strong, she tried to keep upright, but the more she thought about her upcoming nuptials to a man she didn’t know and she desperately didn’t like, the harder it became to breathe. Her lungs tightened, her chest ached, and she felt like she really had sucked in deeply to breathe. She gripped onto the front of her dress, trying to make more room for air but nothing seemed to work.

  For a brief second, Iris felt like this might be the end for her. The panic was almost too much that she feared it might kill her...

  “Oh, Miss Iris.” At exactly the right moment, Daisy entered the room and on seeing the state her friend was in, she instantly raced to her side and hugged her. “Are you alright? I have been looking all over for you. Your sister is downstairs now and I was very worried not to see you with her. You look so upset, what is wrong?”

  Iris's breath wobbled, she wanted to push the terror to one side while she explained things to Daisy but in the safety of her room, she actually allowed herself to fall apart. Fat tears fell down her cheeks as a sickness swirled in her stomach. Everything that she'd been trying to hold in all day long fell right out of her.

  “Oh, Daisy, it is horrible. So awful.” Daisy embraced her harder and she fell deeper into the comfort. “I do not know what to do now. It is too much. Everything... it is too much.”

  “What is it?” Daisy cooed comfortingly. “What happened in there? What did that man want with you and your family?”

  “It was... it was my father’s will reading.” Iris squeezed her eyes shut. For a moment she wanted to block the whole world out, she wanted to wake up to find out that all of this would be a dream. “He still wants me to marry the Duke.”

  Saying those words made it much more real. Painfully so.

  Daisy patted Iris’s back gently, trying to comfort her. She wasn’t as confident as Iris that her father’s death would spell the end of the arrangement, so this wasn’t much of a surprise to her. She hadn’t quite realized how much stock Iris was putting into this or maybe she would’ve done better to prepare her. Daisy cursed herself for not realizing what was going on.

  “What will happen next?” she whispered quietly into Iris’s ear.

  “My uncle – my mother’s brother – is on his way. He will oversee the arrangements in my father’s absence.” Iris sobbed through the words. “He will make sure that it all goes ahead.”

  “I see.” Daisy’s back straightened, she did not like hearing this.

  “I do not know what to do, Daisy,” Iris replied bitterly. “There is no way I can get out of this now. I have to marry this man, and I’m terrified.” Admitting the true depths of her fears aloud was a huge step for Iris, but it didn’t make her feel any better. If anything, unleashing her emotions only gave them more control over her. “I’ve never been so scared of anything in my life.”

  “Maybe you will love him. Maybe this will all work out.” Daisy needed to uplift her friend now, it was the only way to move forward. “I know that you are scared, Miss Iris, but maybe this will not be as bad as you assume.”

  Daisy couldn’t picture Iris with a husband. She had been trying, ever since the news came through, but it was an image that just wouldn’t come to her. Not that she was the one with the crazy, overactive imagination, of course. That role clearly went to Iris.

  “Elizabeth told me that he has a terrible reputation. She said that he is known as a horrible man. Especially to women.”

  Daisy pulled Iris down on the bed beside her and she stared deeply into her eyes. “Reputations and rumours are not always what they seem,” she insisted with a small warning to her tone. “A lot of things are said about a lot of people that are certainly untrue.”

  The next words got stuck in Iris's throat. For some reason, she felt like this was about her. She wanted to ask Daisy exactly what had been said about her, but at the same time, she didn't really want to know. In that area, she felt certain that ignorance was bliss. If she was aware of what people thought of her, it would be a massive challenge to ever leave her house again.

  “Miss Iris, you will not know about this man until you meet him for yourself. You cannot base your judgements on what other people say.”

  “But you know how I am about meeting new people. I do not make a good first impression; I am not used to speaking with people I do not know.”

  A smile spread across Daisy's face and she decided to make a joke out of the whole situation. "Well, then I shall meet him for you." She stood up and twirled around while gripping onto her dress as if it was a fancy number rather than a maid's uniform. "I shall dress up in one of your beautiful gowns and I will dance the night away with this awful Duke." As she mocked dance, Iris couldn't help laughing a little bit. "You might not make a good first impression, but I certainly shall. He will fall in love with me instead of you."

  Iris leapt up and she grabbed hold of Daisy's hands, and she danced along with her. This was something that they used to do all the time when they were younger when Iris needed to learn how to step in time with the music. The sisters had a wonderful teacher, but Iris didn't learn well with her. Iris found practising with Daisy when she began to work for the family so much easier. It was always better for her when she could relax.

  "Oh yes, Ma'am, your beauty is boundless," Iris teased in the deepest, most masculine voice that she could manage. "I can truly tell that you are a lady. Either that or you have spent a lot of time with one. And your dancing is wonderful. You must have practiced a whole lot when you were younger."

  Daisy roared with laughter and tossed her head back in a very un-lady like manner. "Oh yes, Sir, I am truly a lady. I have always done... you know, ladylike things. I have my hair braided for me, and I attend formal events." She fluttered her eyelashes and pouted out her lips.

  “Oh yes, I have probably seen you across the hall at such events, being the man about town that I am. It is a shame that we have never met before.”

  "Oh, well my father does not like to introduce me to men he considers unworthy of my dowry." Daisy fell so deeply into the role that Iris almost believed her for a second. "He is very careful with his money. He cares more about where that will go, more than any concern for his children."

  "A dowry, you say? Well, that changes everything." Iris stepped back and bowed. "And now... I am in love with you."

  The girls collapsed onto the bed in hysterics. Iris felt carefree and ecstatic, just for a moment. While she joked and had fun with her friend, it was easy to forget how complicated things were about to get. She loved just enjoying the way things were, until it all blew up.

  “You know, Daisy, if you make the Duke fall in love with you that doesn’t solve anything.” She suddenly announced. “He will still want to marry Iris Warwick.” That name... if only she could get rid of it.

  Daisy twisted her body around on the bed and she smiled at her friend. “Oh yes, you are right. That isn’t what she wanted at all. Maybe I should be horrible instead. Make him hate you. Then he’ll break the betrothal and everything will go away.”

  Iris knew that Daisy was only joking, but there was something about this idea that spoke to her. Maybe there was still an escape route, she just needed to make sure the Duke didn’t fall in love with her. If he did not want her, then he would break the arrangement. That was the sort of thing that men could do all the time. If only women had the
same power...

  “What will you do?” she asked, keeping her tone light but also wanting to know more. She didn’t want to act like she was digging around for ideas, but secretly she was.

  “I will walk without grace, I will speak out of turn, I will lose all table etiquette.” Daisy’s eyes danced and sparkled. “Duke Loftus Pembroke will soon forget about Miss Iris Warwick, and he will be onto the next poor lady in moments.”

  “Oh yes, well it is just lucky that I am easy to forget.”

  “You will be... when I belch at the table,” Daisy winked. “

  Belch! Iris couldn’t believe that Daisy had the nerve to say such a word. Iris had been brought up in a way that made such words almost illegal. Again, she looked at the life of a maid through rose tinted glasses. They had it easier than they knew, yes things were restricted, but only to the things that Iris did not want to do anyway.

  “Oh, Daisy, I cannot believe you. You are so bad.”

  Iris tried to keep the jealousy from her voice. She should have been born into that life.

  Iris smiled through gritted teeth, wondering if this was something that she could do herself. Maybe not the belching, but the other things. Everyone knew that she hadn’t left her room in years, and clearly they’d all figured out their own reasons as to why this might be. There was a chance that she hadn’t learned how to behave in polite society during that time.

  She had, of course, there was no way that her father would allow her to get away with not knowing, but people outside the family didn’t have to know that.

  Sure, there was some uncle coming to oversee things, but this was a man that she didn’t know. It was someone that she couldn’t ever recall meeting, so he couldn’t call her out on her behaviour. Yes, he would be furious with her, but there was more of a chance that he’d blame the people in her life that were no longer around for her lack of good behaviour.

  It could work. The idea of it was utterly horrifying but intoxicating too. It gave her an intense warmth in her chest.

  Iris’s imagination got the better of her. She almost forgot that Daisy was in the room as she pictured herself rebelling against what was expected of her. For someone who wasn’t brave about anything, this was the first thing in the world that she actually felt like maybe she could do.

  Maybe.

  “Daisy, I...” she started to query more, to see if her friend thought that it would be a wise idea, but a voice from her door frame interrupted her before she could get that sentence out.

  “Iris?”

  Daisy jumped up as Olivia walked back into the room. In a heartbeat, she went from ‘friend mode' to ‘maid mode'. She blended into the background and almost ran from the room to get away. For a moment, Iris wished that she could follow her. She wanted to escape into the wallpaper life of a servant.

  “Come in, Olivia,” she sighed instead.

  “Everyone is leaving now. I have sorted it.” There was a stiffness to her tone, which made Iris uncomfortable.

  “Thank you.”

  Elizabeth walked into the room behind Olivia and she clicked the door shut behind her. Iris instantly felt a little more at ease with the three of them there. It wasn’t just because Olivia had to take the house from her, it was mostly because she felt more herself around Elizabeth. It had always been that way.

  “Iris, I am so sorry that father has done this to you,” Elizabeth instantly jumped in, with true sympathy on her tone. “But I am here for you. We both are. Whatever we can do, we will make this easier for you.”

  Get me out of it! Iris wanted to scream, but she didn't. Instead, she nodded tightly instead. That ship had sailed... maybe. But no one could change it but her. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

  “We should all stay in here for a while?” Elizabeth stated, but it sounded more like a question because she was so unsure. “Spend some time together, like we used to when we were younger.”

  She didn’t say before mother died, but she didn’t have to. The words clung thickly to the air regardless.

  The tight knot in Iris’s chest loosened at the idea of returning back to the good old days. She needed a time out from her real life, and this sounded like the most fun way possible.

  “Can you two do that?” she asked quietly, feeling more like the youngest sister than she’d ever done before. “Don’t you need to get back... home?”

  “I will send my husband home,” Elizabeth grinned brightly. “I will have someone transport me back later. It will be fine, he shall understand.”

  “And I am fine too,” Olivia promised. “I do not have to receive the children again until tomorrow morning. I would love to stay with you.”

  This time as Iris smiled, it felt more genuine than anything else had done in a very long time. With her sisters by her side, it wasn’t all so bad.

  * * *

  By the time her sisters had gone back to their own homes, there was a much lighter mood surrounding Iris. It was nice for her to forget, even if she couldn’t do it forever. It was the first time that Iris had been surrounded by such love since she lost her mother, and it was a wonderful reminder of how life could be.

  Except, it couldn’t...

  That was a one-time thing, there was no way Iris could have that a lot. Both her sisters had their own families to worry about and if her father got his own way then she would soon, too.

  Unless she followed Daisy’s crazy plan.

  Iris lay her head back on her pillow and she chuckled to herself at the image of herself acting un-lady like. She pictured the Duke turning up with high expectations and her dashing them in a heart beat when he witnessed her bad table manners and she continually interrupted him.

  It wouldn’t be wise, it probably shouldn’t be the sort of thing that she was considering, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. The idea was just too intoxicating. It made her laugh to herself, it gave her a false sense of security, it got rid of the iciness in her chest. Having some fun with this awful man would make it all not seem so bad.

  She snuggled into her sheets and smiled deliciously to herself as she pictured how that might go. Rationally, she knew that it was just an idea, another dream for her brain to play around with, but she didn’t want to cave to rationality for the time being. She preferred to live in her imagination where she had control over herself and her life.

  When she was younger, Iris used to write all of her dreams down like stories. Even when she was awake she liked to dream... dream that she was a writer. She loved reading books, and she wished that she could write them. If that could ever become a reality, then she could support herself. She wouldn’t need her father’s money or some husband, she could just be herself which was all that she’d ever wanted.

  Still, Iris knew, not all dreams came true.

  Chapter 7

  Iris bolted upright in bed in a state of panic. Her face was damp with sweat, her pale wavy hair stuck to her head, she felt like she'd been through the worst trauma in the world, but she wasn't sure why. As far as she was aware, Iris couldn't recall much aside from lying in her bed and dreaming about flying up high above the sky...

  Oh, of course.

  The truth hit like a ton of bricks, almost knocking her right out once more. Her father had passed, they had been through the horror of a funeral, and then there was a will reading...

  She had been through a trauma, and it wasn’t over yet.

  Everything was going. Iris was losing her home, her bedroom, her friend... it hadn’t escaped her knowledge that if she had to move out, then she would not be able to see Daisy every day anymore, which stung badly inside. Not only that but her only inheritance was a dowry for a wedding that she didn’t want. She hadn’t been given anything for herself.

  Ugh. It didn’t matter how long and hard she thought about it, which angle she tried to take, there was no escaping how terrible this made her feel. Even after the lovely time she’d spent with her family, it didn’t make anything go anywhere. The sadness, the unbridled panic
, the ice cold terror just was not going anywhere.

  Usually, Iris lay in her bed until Daisy came to see her in the morning times. She waited until her breakfast was brought up to her before she could even consider facing the day. It was simply the way things had been ever since she was confined to her room. If her mood was low, which occasionally it was even now, that would be it for the day. But since she was about to be forced from all of her routines anyway, she figured she might as well start now. She didn’t have to like it, but she did have to face it.

  Iris moved silently like a cat across her bedroom and she pulled the curtains wide open. The rain was still there, tainting the perfect view outside her window. This time the sky was greyer, everything appeared much duller, the entire garden looked as sad as Iris felt inside. It was as if her sadness brushed over the scenery, leaving it dark and a little pathetic.

  Iris found herself unable to look at the view for too long because of this, it only made her feel worse about her predicament, so she turned rapidly and made her way quickly out of the room. If she would have to leave her house soon, she wanted to experience as much of it as she could while the chance was still there. She wanted to wander slowly through the hallways, to examine the paintings that she hadn't ever paid enough attention to, she needed to embrace the soft, familiar carpets underneath her naked toes while she still could. She wanted to commit every inch of her happy place to memory, so hopefully, she could go back there when things got tough.

  “Oh, Miss Iris,” Daisy gushed as she saw her friend wandering a little aimlessly through the home, appearing as lost as she probably felt inside. “I am terribly sorry, am I very late with your breakfast?”

  "I will take it in the dining room this morning," Iris replied calmly as if this was completely normal rather than a huge, strange change. "Thank you, Daisy."