Real Men Don't Break Hearts

by Coleen Kwan

  Ally sighed. “Nana…”

  Her grandmother sighed, too. “Oh, I know. I’m being a grumpy old crosspatch. I have to admit the twins have run me ragged. Perhaps I will have a quick cat nap.”

  “You do that. I’ll let you know as soon as Brian calls.”

  Nana walked toward the spare bedroom, tossing over her shoulder, “And remember, I’m a light sleeper, so you’d better not get up to anything out there.”

  “Nana!”

  “I’m just saying…”

  Ally shook her head. She walked into the family room where the twins were crowing at the towering stack of Legos they’d built with Nate’s help.

  “Hey.” Nate leaned back on his heels and grinned at her. “Everything okay back there?”

  “Oh, sure.” At his smile her insides turned to marshmallow. Even though she told herself she was just following in the footsteps of countless other women, she couldn’t help herself. Nate at his charming best was irresistible, and today she wanted to give in and bask in the warmth of his smile.

  “Mum…” Ethan, the older twin, glanced about the room, an anxious frown pleating his forehead. “Mum-ma…” he wailed, plopping himself down on the floor. “Ma…” Right on cue, his brother, Danny, stuck a fist into his mouth and started wailing, too.

  “They like to cry in stereo,” Ally explained to Nate as she scooped Ethan up, sat on the floor with him, and began to rock the little boy.

  Nate leaned toward Danny. “Uh, hey, little fella. Your mum’s going to be back soon.” He tentatively lifted the blubbering boy. For a moment Nate seemed at a loss what to do next before he started making comical faces at Danny.

  Ally smothered a giggle. Danny stopped crying to stare wide-eyed at Nate, one finger in his mouth, before he withdrew his finger and wiped it down Nate’s cheek. “Gargh!”

  “Oh, boy,” Nate said.

  Ally winced. “I’m sorry. It’s a very tactile age. I’m sure he doesn’t have too many germs.”

  “It’s fine— Oh, thank you,” Nate said to Danny as the boy offered him a mushy piece of banana. He pretended to eat it, making loud munching noises. “Yum-yum.”

  Danny chortled, and Ethan toddled toward Nate.

  “You’re a big hit,” Ally said.

  “I’m just a novelty.” He beckoned toward Ethan and sat him on one knee while Danny clung to the other, banana still clutched in his small fist.

  “Your beautiful suit.” Ally groaned as she noticed the banana smear on his trousers.

  “Will you quit worrying? I wouldn’t have offered to come here with you if I wasn’t prepared to get a little grubby.”

  Ethan decided to go back to Ally, and Danny followed suit. “Come here, you little monkeys.” She rolled around on the carpet with them, blowing raspberries on their stomachs, and soon her jeans were also smeared with banana pulp. “They’re exhausting,” she panted after the boys had tired of the game and toddled off to the box of toys on the other side of the room. She pushed herself up to lean against the couch. “But wonderful. Jess is so lucky to have these two.” She exhaled a long breath.

  “I’m sure she’s going to be fine. Whatever the outcome.”

  Ally shot him a curious look. “I wonder what she’d say if she knew you were sitting in her house.” Jess and Nate had been classmates, but that was where the similarities ended.

  He uttered a deprecating laugh. “Yeah, she’d be surprised. But it’s nice that you and she are so close.”

  “Jess has always seemed more than four years older than me, especially after our parents died. I suppose she felt a big responsibility toward me, and I needed the support. Sometimes she was more like a mother than a sister. It’s only recently that the gap’s closed a little, although she still can’t help herself sometimes.”

  He nodded. “Relationships change as you get older.”

  “Mm, don’t I know it. My best friend from high school lives far away now. It sounds silly, but I used to imagine the two of us being maids of honor at each other’s weddings, and then having children together and meeting down at the park every morning.”

  “It doesn’t sound silly. I can just imagine you with a brood of children running around.”

  Her cheeks warmed. “You think so?”

  “I know so.” He gazed at her steadily. “You want to be a mother, don’t you?”

  She pushed the curls away from her moist brow, unnerved by his scrutiny. She could have feigned indifference but chose not to. “Yes, I do. But it’s not something I necessarily want to advertise. Tends to frighten men away.”

  “You think?”

  “It doesn’t frighten you?”

  “Nope. Any sane woman would know I’m not father material.” He looked at her as if they were alone in the room. His gaze felt like warm chocolate as it slid over her, lingering on her cheeks, her mouth, before flowing slowly south. She shifted as an answering warmth licked her veins, tingling every nerve ending. “You’ll have to try harder to put me off.”

  She attempted a deprecating snort. “Oh, so you think I won’t be able to resist you despite knowing all the pitfalls?”

  His smile grew sensual. “Well, I didn’t want to say anything, but I’m still picking up the same vibes from you.”

  It wasn’t fair how dashingly handsome he was. She lifted a Lego piece and flicked it at him, trying to suppress a smile. “You’re impossible. You don’t know when to stop.”

  “Oof,” he mock groaned as the plastic piece hit him in the chest. He massaged his sternum. “I’m deeply wounded.”

  “You’ll survive. You always do.”

  “Perhaps, but you’ll never know the scars I carry inside.”

  Despite his flippant smile, something in his tone made her sit forward. “Seems to me you know a few of my scars,” she said, “but I know precious little about yours.”

  “Women.” He shook his head. “Why do you like turning an ordinary conversation into the Oprah Winfrey Show?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe I like knowing what makes a person tick?”

  “Cogs and gears, sweetheart. That’s all you’d find if you opened me up.”

  She caught her breath, her heart tripping over at the casual endearment he’d dropped in the middle of his answer. He was just being facetious, she told herself. “You’re not a machine,” she said. “Your actions are rooted in motivations. For instance, why do you think you were such a troublemaker when you were young?”

  “Well jeez, you don’t have to be Freud to work that one out. Because my stepfather was a shithead who never lost a chance to belt the crap out of me, that’s why.”

  Even as she glanced to check the twins were out of earshot, her insides contracted at his caustic tone. She remembered the rumors about Nate’s stepfather, but she hadn’t realized how true they were. Nate’s rock-like jaw made her flinch inside, but she couldn’t retreat, not now she’d unexpectedly breached his armor. “But what about your mother? Did she stand by and let your stepfather abuse you?” It seemed appalling to voice the question, but she really needed to know.

  He picked up a yellow plastic figurine and spun it between his fingers. “My mother wasn’t interested in much. As long as she had her vodka bottle within reach, that’s all she cared about.” His voice was devoid of any emotion. No anger, bitterness, or even sadness, as if he were just stating a fact. The Earth is round. My mother was an alcoholic.

  “I’m so sorry, Nate. I didn’t know about your mother.”

  “Don’t waste your sympathies on me. I cut loose on her when I was fourteen. Went to live with Robbie.”

  Ally couldn’t help grimacing. Robbie Hardy had been a notorious womanizer. She remembered all the whispering among her grandmother’s friends, the gossip drying up when she entered the room, as if she were too young and pure to have her ears sullied by tales of Robbie’s sexploits. She couldn’t imagine what kind of role model he’d been for Nate, but at least he’d given Nate a home. She admired him for that.

  “Robb
ie was hopeless at disciplining me.” Nate stretched his legs, his face relaxing. “He didn’t make me do chores or set a curfew or put any limits on me. He let me drink beer, drive unlicensed, stay out all night.”

  “So how did you go from that to financial whiz in just a few years?”

  “I went a step too far. I took the principal’s car for a joyride and ended up in a ditch. He hauled in Robbie and me, said it was my last chance or he was going to expel me and press charges. I was all for quitting school and joining Robbie’s business, but he didn’t think that was a good idea.” Nate rubbed his chin, his expression rueful. “He sided with the principal. Agreed that he would make me go to school every day until I graduated. No excuses, no exceptions. And boy, did he make me stick to the rule.”

  “That was a good one. If he hadn’t made you finish school, I guess you wouldn’t have gotten into finance.”

  “Mmm. I didn’t study much, but I was a bit of a freak at math.”

  “You must miss your brother a lot,” she said softly.

  His eyelids dropped, veiling his expression. He played with the plastic figurine in his hands, glanced at the twins, looked everywhere but at her. “Yeah…”

  Had she said the wrong thing? She didn’t understand it. He’d spoken so freely about Robbie just a minute ago. Why was he withdrawing now?

  “You know, you really could give Oprah a run for her money. You’re not half bad at making a guy open up against his best intentions.” His casual tone didn’t fool her—his barriers had gone up. Not surprising, given his wretched childhood with his abusive stepfather and alcoholic mother. If only he hadn’t shut her out so quickly. For the first time, she felt she was getting to know the Nate few people—maybe no one—saw. He’d spoken about his brother with a mixture of affection and misgiving, and she wished he hadn’t clammed up.

  The phone rang and Ally jumped to her feet. As she snatched up the receiver, Nana came hurrying in from the bedroom. Brian’s voice crackled over the line, but for a few seconds her brain couldn’t process his words properly.

  “I—I’m sorry, Brian, can you repeat that, please?”

  Nana stood in front of her, her face wrinkled with concern. Ally sensed Nate come and stand behind her, and his presence was like a fleecy blanket around her, warming the frozen cogs of her brain. She took in Brian’s news and eventually put down the phone.

  “Jess is fine, and so is the baby.”

  Nana clasped her hands together. “Oh, how wonderful!”

  “That’s great news.” Nate laid his hand on her shoulder, and it was only then that she realized how cold and shivery she was. The sturdy weight of his hand braced her, and she wanted to lean back against his solid chest, but Nana was still badgering her for details.

  Ally reassured her. “Brian said he’ll bring her home in about half an hour. The bleeding and cramps have stopped, but she’ll need to take it easy for a day or so.”

  “We’d better get this place clean.” Fired up with purpose, her grandmother took hold of the twins. “Come on, you two. Let’s get you washed up.” She hustled them out of the room.

  Ally turned to Nate, all too aware that his hand was still on her shoulder, that her body was vibrating like a plucked harp string, and that she desperately longed to touch him. The longing heightened to hunger as he closed the distance between them until his chest brushed against the front of her T-shirt, sending her senses into a flurry.

  “I guess I should be going,” he murmured.

  “Thanks for staying with me.” She could barely get the words out. “You managed to distract me from worrying.”

  “Glad I could help.” He grinned and tucked a stray curl behind her ear, the backs of his fingers brushing her cheek, making her mouth dry. “You know where I live. I’ll be at home later on if you need a little more…distraction.”

  Her heart leaped like a rabbit. He was distracting, all right. So distracting she might do something crazy if she wasn’t careful. “I—I’ll be all right.”

  His finger flicked the lobe of her ear. She could have stepped backward if she’d wanted to, but she didn’t. Couldn’t. She was caught by the kindling heat in his eyes, and when he wrapped his arms around her she couldn’t protest but instead yielded to the lure of his body.

  He lowered his head. “Good, but I’m not sure I’m all right,” he murmured right before his lips came down on hers.

  Chapter Ten

  Nate’s kiss was like nothing Ally had expected. For days she’d been fantasizing about what it would be like to kiss him, but the reality was a hundred times more electrifying. His kiss was firm, warm, and confident, but he held her loosely, allowing her plenty of opportunity to pull free if she wanted. But instead of stepping back like the sensible person she’d always been, she wrapped her arms around him, stood on tiptoe, and kissed him back like the brazen tart she’d never been. His mouth lured her, more enticing than anything she’d ever tasted, and when he deepened the kiss she found herself parting her lips, eager for everything he offered, tingling with the stunning delight of it all.

  His hands roved slowly over her back, igniting flash fires across her skin, and the heat leaped up, lighting a furnace between her thighs. As his lips skimmed over her neck, she heard herself moaning with pleasure, and when he hovered on the pulse at the base of her throat, the moan became a growl. Was this really her, clinging to him, arching her back just to press herself closer to his body, mewling like a sex kitten? She pulled back a few inches, shocked at her behavior.

  “Don’t stop now.” Nate’s hot espresso eyes glinted as he drew her toward him again.

  She put her hand over his chest to stop him. The hard thump of his heart caught her attention. It felt as though she was holding his heart in the palm of her hand. Heat radiated off his body—a seductive, sexual magnetism, echoing the fire pounding inside her. He wanted her just as much as she wanted him. Why her? She wasn’t his type. She wasn’t flirty or ravishing or stunningly beautiful. But it didn’t seem to matter. To him or to her. Not when his hands were roving over her back nonstop and his eyes were all aflame. Not when her heart was hammering in unison with his. She’d never experienced such a mutual, spontaneous combustion of desire before. She’d always thought herself a grounded person, not one to be swept away by passion, but in Nate’s embrace she’d turned into someone unrecognizable. And it had just been a few kisses! What would happen if they took it further?

  “You’re thinking too much again,” he murmured.

  His velvety voice tied her nerves into knots. “And you’re taking advantage of me,” she whispered.

  “Yeah, right. We’re standing in a sea of Legos with your granny and the twins just down the hall, and I’m taking advantage of you?” He traced his fingers slowly down the length of her spine, sending delicious thrills right through her bones. “I’d say you’re the one taking advantage of me, kissing me like that and knowing I can’t very well follow up here.”

  “You started it.”

  “And I’d be very happy to finish it if you’ll let me.” His voice dropped. “Come over to my place later on. You know you want to.”

  Yes, damn it, she did. She didn’t want to stop touching him. In fact, she wanted to undo his buttons and open his shirt so she could ogle his body and run her hands and mouth over his chest and bite him and make him moan, too, and lose all control…

  She snatched her hand away. “No, it’s madness.” Jerking herself free, she thrust her hands into the pockets of her jeans to conceal their shakiness.

  Nate exhaled. “I warned you what would happen if you gave me that dewy-eyed, kiss-me look again.”

  She couldn’t deny she’d given him that look and more. But the truth was, the way she responded to him scared her. It might be all commonplace to him, but she wasn’t used to this instant conflagration of raging sexual lust. Especially not for a guy like Nate. He was a bonfire. He’d scorch her, consume her, and then move on to the next thing.

  “The tension got to
me,” she said. “The waiting and the worrying. I didn’t mean to kiss you like that, and—and it won’t happen again. I’m sorry if you got the wrong impression, but I’ve no intention of…taking it further.”

  He studied her for a few moments, making her squirm. He looked like he didn’t believe her, and for a second or two she thought he might try to kiss her again, and her heart raced at that idea. But instead he let her go, picked up his jacket, and slung it over one shoulder.

  “Okay. I never press my attentions where they’re not welcome.” He sauntered toward the hallway. “Have it your way. For now.”

  She hurried after him as he made for the front door, trying not to notice how broad his shoulders were, how snugly his trousers fit across his lean hips and butt. She hadn’t expected him to give up so quickly. Didn’t she want him to give up?

  “Thanks for keeping me company this afternoon. I, er, appreciate it.”

  “You’re welcome.” Out on the porch he paused one more time. She thought—hoped?— he might repeat his invitation to visit him later that evening, but all he said was, “See you later, Ally.”

  The afternoon sun gilded his cheeks, bronzing the column of his throat and flecking his hair with amber highlights. The sheer audacity of his handsomeness made her heart tumble, but he was too dangerous for her. She muttered good-bye and watched him leave, wondering at her utter confusion.

  …

  When Brian and Jess no longer needed her, Ally drove home. She took a long shower, cooked herself scrambled eggs, and put on some music as the setting sun painted the sky vermillion. But she couldn’t relax. The music, her book, the TV—nothing could hold her attention. She crisscrossed her living room back and forth while an argument raged inside her head.

  Her sane, logical side was quarrelling with a part of her she’d never known existed until recently. A reckless, hotheaded part that wouldn’t shut up. You wanted to change your life, take a few risks. Well, here’s your chance. Live a little; have some fun, like Jess told you. And besides, you can’t stop thinking about Nate. Can’t stop reliving those hot, incredible kisses…