Adam

by Marie Tuhart

  “I don’t want you here.” She crossed her arms over her breasts.

  “I’m not leaving.” He rolled off the mattress and to his feet. Picking up his bag, he sauntered over to her. “I’m going to take a shower.”

  He passed her, and the scent of honey drifted to him. He controlled his impulse to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless. One thing at a time.

  Adam stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower. Nicki’s hostility was something he expected. She wasn’t about to welcome him with open arms, not after all the comments he’d made about the convention and his insistence she wouldn’t be going.

  But here they both were. He had given up on her too easily before because of his own inability to deal with failure. Being here over her objections was his way of not making the same mistake. This time, he was going to protect her from any and all negative attention.

  After making short work of the shower, he shaved then wrapped a towel around his waist before going back into the other room. Time to get started having a real talk. But when he arrived, Nicki was on the phone.

  “I don’t care what you were told.” She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the headboard. “Yes, I understand.” She flung the receiver back into the cradle. “This is not fair,” she muttered.

  “Life is often not fair.” He moved toward the bed. “But tell me what’s going on. I’ll bet we can make it right for you.”

  Her eyes opened, and she glared at him. “You can’t stay here.” She jumped off the mattress.

  “There’s nowhere else to go.” He kept his gaze on her. What was going through her head? Heck if he knew. At one time he could read her, but not now. He’d lost his touch.

  Was he doing the right thing? In his mind, yes. He’d walked away before. Never again. This was his wife, and he wanted to understand why this conference was so important to her.

  “Go back to Oregon, to the house, and to your film.”

  “Not an option. Nicki, please let me back in to your life. Tell me what’s going on with that phone call?” He paused, placing his fingers under his chin, studying her. “Unless…”

  “Unless what?”

  “You’ll come back to Oregon with me.”

  She let out a big sigh and threw her hands in the air. “You’re impossible. I already have a manager. This isn’t your problem. I’m staying.”

  “Anything that upsets you is my problem. You are my wife.” The love of my life. He dropped his towel and climbed onto the king-sized mattress.

  “I’m not your anything.” Nicki scowled at him. “And for your information, you are part of the problem.” With a huff, she turned and fled to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

  Adam folded his arms and stared at the door. He could wait until she came out.

  ****

  “Nicki.” A soft voice called her name.

  Nicki fought her way to the surface and blinked away the fogginess of sleep to see her best friend’s face. “Oh, Helen.” She sat up and stretched. “Morning already?” Her entire body hurt from her tense night on the sofa.

  She’d been unwilling to spend the night with Adam in her hotel room, so after he’d fallen asleep, she had snuck out. She hadn’t been willing to do it while he was awake, afraid he’d talk her out of leaving. So she had taken the coward’s way out. At least in Helen’s room she’d be able to sleep.

  Not that she’d gotten much sleep. Adam haunted her dreams. In them, she had sashayed out of the bathroom, had found Adam naked in her bed, and so had begun their kinky play. She still longed for him to tie her up and have his way with her, for him to take her sexual satisfaction away from her and control it for a night, a week, a lifetime.

  Nicki shook her head. They had a long way to go before they could get back to that level of trust in their marriage, if ever.

  “Yes, it’s morning.” Helen frowned at her.

  “What did I do now?” Nicki ran her fingers through her hair. Helen hadn’t been happy at being woken up or at having Nicki in her room, but that was what best friends and managers were for.

  “Adam just called. I’d say you’ve got less than five minutes before he barges in here.”

  “Crap.” Jumping up, Nicki scooped her clothes from the chair she’d laid them on the night before. She didn’t want to face him. Hell, she really didn’t want to face anyone right now.

  “He didn’t sound like he was in a good mood.”

  “He never is anymore.” Her hands shook with apprehension as she dressed. She was already conflicted in her feelings toward him. Dealing with his anger was not something she was prepared to do. She needed more time to sort out her attraction with him versus old wounds, not to mention the frustration with his over-dominance in areas outside the bedroom.

  “He was happy when you two were married.”

  Nicki gaped at her friend. “I can’t believe you said that. He was so rigid and tightlipped.”

  “I’m telling you the truth, and you know it.” Helen took two steps and grasped Nicki by the shoulders. “You were happier, too.”

  Had I been? “Helen, I don’t have time for this.” She shook off her friend’s hands to finish dressing. “Adam will be here any second, and I can’t be here.”

  “We’ve been friends for a long time, and I’m going to say something that could end our friendship.”

  Her head jerked up, and she stared at Helen. “Nothing could end our friendship.”

  Relief flickered in Helen’s eyes and a crooked smile passed over her mouth. Then she took a deep breath. “Adam is your husband, and he’s trying to make things right.” Helen waved her hand in the air. “Give him a chance. You’re doing the same thing to him you’ve always complained he did. You’re closing him out.”

  “He deserves it,” she countered. “He walked out on me when I needed him the most.” The back of her throat tightened and she turned away quickly before the tears welling in her eyes showed.

  “And you won’t let him forget.” Helen’s voice was soft. “It was an emotional time for both of you, and you both chose different ways to handle it. You let it turn into anger and bitterness at Adam, while he bottled it all up and tucked it away.”

  “Quit playing psychologist. My anger is valid.” She started to pace. Why wouldn’t Helen leave well enough alone? At least her fresh anger dried the tears that had threatened to unravel her at the worst possible moment. She needed to scram out of the room before Adam arrived. Or at least, she would have her composure in place.

  “I’m not saying it isn’t. But I think it’s time you realized how much you miss and love him.” Helen stopped Nicki’s pacing by grasping her by the forearms. She looked into her eyes. “I care about you. I want you to be happy. For better or worse, Adam made you happy.”

  “That’s a matter up for debate, but not with you. I need to figure that out myself. I’m sorry, Helen. I need time to think.” She’d been fighting her conflicting emotions for Adam since the day she arrived on the set. She’d thought she could have a strictly professional relationship with him.

  She was so wrong and not because he pushed so much.

  “I can’t let myself love Adam again.” And that was the bottom line. The one thing she was sure of in this mixed up mess.

  “Why not?”

  “I…” She couldn’t get the words out. She was afraid of losing her heart to him and having it stomped on again. Could she really survive it a second time? To have that special Dom/sub relationship only to have it torn away?

  “There’s a big difference between cannot and will not.”

  “Don’t I know it.” Nicki sat down on the edge of the sofa, fighting back tears. She looked up. “I’m scared, Helen.”

  “Of Adam?” Helen took a seat beside her.

  “Not of Adam, but of the way he makes me feel.” She sniffled. “I don’t think I’ll survive if he breaks my heart again.” And if she became pregnant…she shivered.

  “Oh, sweetie.” Helen put her
arm around Nicki’s shoulders. “Adam made you feel alive. He treated you like the woman you are, not the woman people see in your movies.”

  “Yes, but he also kept a part of himself locked away from me. A part I need to share with him.”

  She shivered, remembering his cold hard words that night in the hospital. He had blamed the loss of their child on her for working on her last scream queen film. Her filming had nothing to do with the loss of their child. He’d hurt her deeply, but they’d both been under a lot of stress, and she’d figured he’d come back after he cooled down. But he hadn’t. It had been all she could do to recover her sanity, to reject that blame. Thankfully she had a good therapist because her husband was nowhere near to help.

  A knock on the door sent her scrambling to her feet. She didn’t want to face Adam, not when she was this vulnerable. Helen’s tactics cost her escape.

  “I’m going to let him in,” Helen said, compounding the problem. “But you need to know, I won’t allow you in my room tonight. You have to work this out.”

  While Nicki seethed over her friend’s hard-core version of support, Helen marched over to the door and unlocked it. “Good morning, Adam,” Helen said. “Come on in.”

  Now she had bigger things to deal with than Helen’s betrayal. Nicki put her back to the door while trying to get herself under control. Damn, Helen was forcing her to confront Adam and her fears.

  “Good morning, Helen,” Adam said. “Nicki?”

  His soft, subdued tone had her taking a deep breath and facing him.

  Adam looked like hell, his normal well-groomed dark hair mussed, lines of tiredness on his face. Had she done that? Regret hit her low in the stomach at making him feel bad, yet on the heels of regret followed a twinge of arousal mixed with a bit of happiness he’d come after her. All these emotions swirling in her mind surprised her.

  “Good morning.” Her happy tone surprised her and him, too.

  “I’m just on my way out. See you both later,” Helen said before slipping out the door.

  Silence filled the room, and Nicki looked down at her feet, unsure of what to say or do next. She was glad to see him, and she didn’t know what to do with that.

  “I did some thinking last night,” Adam said. “I was hoping we could have breakfast before I leave.”

  “Leave?” Now where was he going? Oh hell, what was wrong with her? One minute she wanted him to leave, the next to stay. She had better figure out which and quick.

  “Yes. Being here isn’t making you happy.”

  She stared at him, at the fresh shadows under his eyes. Adam never slept well in hotel rooms. But there was more tension visible in the lines of his face than lack of sleep could have caused. Maybe sneaking out last night hadn’t been such a good idea. They were both a tired mess this morning.

  She made a flash decision. “I need to run to our room, change, and freshen up. Give me ten minutes, and I’ll meet you in the restaurant.” They really needed to talk and do it in a rational manner. She needed to let go of her defensiveness with him.

  His eyes migrated from the usual cold stone to soft charcoal. “You’ve got it.”

  Nicki rushed to the room and thanked her lucky stars she’d laid her clothes out the night before. A quick shower, change of clothes, some makeup, and she was ready to go.

  In those ten minutes, she was able to sort through her thoughts and fear. By the time she arrived at the restaurant, she’d made a decision about Adam.

  Chapter Five

  Adam watched the waiter walk away with their breakfast order. He’d met Nicki in the hotel restaurant per her request. He’d rather talk in private, but this would have to do.

  Nicki focused her gaze on him and said, “I think you should stay.”

  He froze in place. He hadn’t expected her to say that. “Are you sure?”

  Why was he asking? He wanted to stay, understand why this convention was so important to her, and be with her.

  “Yes.” She took a deep breath. “I’d like you to stay.”

  “Then I’ll stay.” He wasn’t going to question her sudden change of heart since it worked in his favor. He was happy to have this chance to see why she loved the convention.

  “There are going to be some ground rules.”

  “Okay.” She was going to put conditions on his staying? Fine. Not that they mattered to him. He was going to use every weapon in his arsenal to get past her defenses, to show her he was still the man she’d fallen in love with. A man she could love, trust, and most of all, he could be a good husband again.

  “We’ll share the room, but you’re sleeping on a roll-away bed.”

  “Fine.” It wasn’t like he was getting a lot of sleep anyway.

  “In public, you’re just the director of the current film I’m working on. Nothing more.”

  “Understood.” In public, she said. In private, he would seduce her.

  “You need to keep an open mind. The people who attend this convention are normal people. Don’t make them feel uncomfortable.”

  “I’ll do my best.” He wouldn’t embarrass her or himself. He’d keep an open mind about the con. He’d be the model of decorum if it killed him.

  “Do more than your best, Adam. No scenes. I don’t think I can go through that again.”

  “Again?” What the hell did that mean?

  “Remember the LA Con and what you did?”

  Adam closed his eyes, thinking back. They had gone to the Los Angeles Con when they were first married and…crap. His jealous side had come out when a fan had hauled Nicki into his arms for a hug. “Would it help if I apologized for it now?” Trust. He had to regain her trust in him and their relationship.

  Nicki let out a small sigh. “No attacking my fans. Some are excited to see me. I can handle them. If I need help, I’ll ask.”

  “I’ll be on my best behavior,” he promised as the waiter arrived with their food.

  After the waiter departed, she said, “Thank you.” She rewarded him with a smile before digging into her food.

  ****

  “Nicki, as a scream queen, aren’t you playing into the typical, helpless female stereotype in your movies?” a member of the audience asked a little while later.

  Nicki fought against a sigh. She was participating on a panel about women and their movie roles. It figured someone would bring up issues like this one. Not that she minded. She loved how the audiences at these conventions were comfortable asking just about anything.

  “No, I’m not playing into any stereotype.”

  Others in the room laughed.

  She fought a reaction to the laughter, keeping her expression and tone neutral. “If you really look at the type of movies I do, you’ll find one common thread. I can always take care of myself. There’s no man riding to my rescue or the rescue of my co-stars.”

  More laughter erupted from the audience. Steeling herself, she glanced at Adam, who was sitting in the back of the room.

  He gave her a small salute. How many times had they had this same conversation? With the results being less than stellar but the discussion always ended with them in bed together. Yet his gesture was pure support. Take it away, he was saying, and his effort strengthened her.

  She smiled at the audience. “Come on, people. How many women in a film get to pick up an AK47 and kill the bad guys while wearing a chain mail bikini?”

  More laughter rang from the audience, including Adam’s.

  He raised his hand, and Nicki’s heart stopped.

  “Sir?” The moderator pointed to Adam.

  “Just a quick comment.” He waited until the room quieted down. “Nicki’s right. Her movies don’t show feminine helplessness but instead show empowerment. She’s one of the few women who can carry off such a powerful role under the craziest circumstances. She has the influence to make use of her abilities to show her audience she’s not the typical, helpless female.”

  Applause flooded the room, and she found herself applauding as well. When h
ad he changed his mind about the roles she had played? He’d always wanted her to find other acting jobs, better acting jobs. She had assumed he was ashamed of her role as a scream queen, but maybe she was wrong.

  “Sorry folks, time is up,” the moderator said. “Don’t forget, Nicki is around all weekend.”

  The audience applauded again in thanks before they began to file out of the room.

  Once the crowd cleared, Nicki walked up to Adam and slipped her arm through his. “Did you really mean what you said?”

  “Yes.” His eyes were warm and inviting, making her feel special. “I’ve never told you, but you’re a powerful actress. You never show weakness, only strength, and it helps other women find their strength.”

  He was opening up to her. Joy rose in her, and she rose to her toes and kissed him. “That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

  “I can think of even sweeter ones.” His arms closed around her, pulling her close.

  Heat flooded her bones. “I bet you could.” She buried her face in his neck, inhaling his spicy scent. Her heart sang at being in his embrace.

  A flash went off. Adam stiffened, and Nicki turned in his embrace. A young man stood in the doorway with a camera. Damn it. She’d forgotten they were in a public place. She had broken her own rule.

  “Sorry, but I couldn’t resist.” The young man’s face flushed.

  “It’s okay,” Nicki said. He was harmless, just a fan. “Just promise me not to sell it to any tabloid.”

  “Of course not. I would never do that.” The young man puffed out his chest before turning and leaving them.

  She glanced at her watch and groaned. “I’ve got to go. I’m signing autographs on the other side of the building.”

  “Then let’s go.” She was pleased he was willing to learn more and stick by her side. He was opening up too seeing what the cons were about for her.

  ****

  Nicki flexed her fingers. After two hours of signing autographs, they were getting stiff. She glanced up and smiled at the woman as she took their photo and left. The line was still out of her sight.