by Marie Tuhart
“Adam,” she cried right before his lips closed over her left nipple. Her spine stiffened with pleasure.
“I’m here, love.” He dropped a kiss on her lips, his cock brushing her wet pussy. In this position, she was wide open to him.
A shiver of vulnerability slipped through her veins, but then she looked into the face of the man she loved. No, he wasn’t perfect, but then, she wouldn’t want a perfect man.
He was scarred both inside and out, but together, they were beautiful.
Adam eased his cock into her pussy, and her muscles clamped down on his dick. But he didn’t move.
“Don’t wait, I want you Adam. Now.”
He surged into her, and they both let out a moan. Nicki closed her eyes in bliss. He filled her full, but there was nothing like having the man she loved buried so deep in her, she could hardly breathe.
Adam pulled back then surged into her again, and the game was on. Nicki enjoyed every second of his loving, and her climax was building. Before long, she hurtled over the edge.
Adam grinned as Nicki came again. His fingers found the ties around her wrists and released them. Her arms curled around his neck, pulling him tighter against her as her pussy spasmed. The room was filled with their heavy breathing.
He rose off her and then froze. “Damn it, I forgot a condom.”
“I’m on the pill.” She pushed against his chest. “My turn to please you.”
“You always satisfy me.” He allowed her to shove him onto his back. He was curious what Nicki would do.
She dropped a kiss on his nose before kissing her way to his chest. Her lips caressed him, blazing a path ever so slowly down toward his cock. As she cupped his balls and blew warm air on the head of his dick, he let out a moan. His cock twitched.
“Someone is getting excited,” she whispered, her moist breath caressing his skin.
“Keep it up, and he’ll be up and ready for more.”
“Ohhhhh, that’s a good plan.” Her tongue swept over the top of his cock. Heaven, he was in heaven.
Shit! His fists clenched the sheet. How long had it been since she’d taken him like this? A very long time, most of the time he only wanted her pleasure.
Her tongue swept down one side of his shaft then up the other. His nerves danced with anticipation of what she would do next.
“Sweet and salty,” she declared. She lowered her head and took his cock into her mouth.
He couldn’t prevent a groan from escaping his lips. “Nicki,” he cried out as she hollowed her cheeks, sucking him hard.
How many times had she cried out his name when he went down on her, licking and sucking at her pussy? Yes, he’d had blow jobs before, but never like this. Never from the woman he loved more than life itself.
Her head lifted, his dick popping out from between her lips. “I know I’m tasting myself as well as you. We make a good combination.”
Heat rose over him. “Oh, baby, you don’t know the half of it.” They were good together. All he had to do was convince her.
She sucked and licked him until his body was covered with sweat as he tried to hold back his climax. He wanted to make this last. “I’m going to come, baby.”
Her gaze connected with his. She never stopped sucking him even when he erupted into her mouth. Pleasure swept up his spine, causing him to buck against her lips. She never stopped. She kept up the pressure and licking him until he collapsed against the mattress.
“You taste like dark, masculine heat.” She kissed his stomach before his hands closed over her waist.
“You are a witch.”
“And you are my warlock, because you’ve certainly got me under your spell.”
“Good, because it’s my turn again.” He rolled her under him.
“I’m glad we’ve got all night.”
****
Two weeks later, Nicki, covered the receiver of her cell phone and smiled when Adam strolled into the room. The last two weeks had been wonderful. Almost like the time before when they were dating, except she spent every night in his bed. She worried about what people would say on the set, but no one said anything, at least not to her face.
“Yeah, sure, Chris. Talk to you later,” she said, ending the call.
“What did Chris want?” Adam’s tone was harsh and his features froze. They’d come so far in the past weeks, she had thought maybe he’d gotten over his jealousy of Chris, but apparently not. She fought against her disappointment.
“Miralar wants to meet with me to discuss the costume designs for their next show.”
“That’s wonderful.” His face softened as crossed the room and pulled her into his arms.
“I think it is.” She watched him warily. He didn’t seem very gung-ho about her taking the job to start with.
“Did they say what kind of show?”
“Chris didn’t say, and I didn’t ask. The meeting is an informational one, and I’m not the only one they’ve asked.” Was he no longer upset? She couldn’t tell, but he didn’t seem to be.
“When is the meeting?”
“Two weeks.”
“Maybe it’s a good thing I pushed everyone this week. If we push during the next two weeks, we can wrap up most of the filming. Then you won’t have to worry.”
“Worry about what?” She cocked her head. What was he thinking?
“Dividing your time.”
“Adam, I doubt I’ll start the job in two weeks, and Chris has already made it clear that I have a prior commitment.”
“Which could mean you not getting this job.”
She shrugged. “If that happens, there will be others.”
“And Chris is good at finding them for you, isn’t he?”
The bitterness in his voice had Nicki pulling out of his arms. “Chris is my friend and helps me manage my career.”
“I know.” He smiled.
Nicki didn’t understand what was going on with Adam, she opened her mouth to ask.
“Let’s go for a walk,” he said. He tugged her out of the room, but she had a feeling Adam didn’t believe a word she said. But for the moment she let it go. They could talk more later when they’d both had time to digest the news.
****
Later that night, Nicki rolled over in bed. She reached for Adam and her hand found empty space. With a frown, she sat up and pulled the sheet around her. The clock read four a.m.
Where was he? Shoving the sheet aside, she slid out of bed and found her robe. The bathroom was dark, which meant he was either in his office or the home theatre. Probably the theatre. She padded down the stairs to the home theatre or director’s room as Adam called it. She pushed the door open and froze.
Adam was watching one of the first movies she’d ever made. Her character screamed, and Nicki winced. Chris had always said she had one hell of a pair of lungs on her which is why she did so well as a scream queen. She never noticed. Maybe because she never watched her own films.
Closing the door quietly behind her, she crept forward. Adam was slumped in one of the overstuffed chairs, his hands clenched the arms. He looked as if he’d shatter into a million pieces if she uttered a word. She stayed silent and forced herself not to move any farther into the room. Here, she was hidden in the shadows. She watched him and waited, heart thumping in her chest. His posture stirred a memory of his panic attack the other day.
The film ended and another one started. This could take a while, but she didn’t want to disturb him. There was something going on here, and she wanted to know what it was. If she asked Adam, he’d tell her nothing and clam up on her. She needed him to talk to her. Maneuvering herself, she put her back against the wall and slid down until she could sit on the floor but still see him.
Her gaze never left him. She’d never seen him this way. There was so much emotion playing out on his face. Joy, happiness, anger, despair, and love. It was all there. It took all her strength not to go to him, to put her arms around his neck while cuddling on his lap. If she went to him, h
e’d shut down just like he had every other time she had caught him when he was vulnerable.
Eventually, the films ended and the room went dark. Adam’s sharp intake of breath filled the room. He rose. His muffled footsteps took him to the opposite side of the room as he made his way toward the projection room.
He paused at the door and said, “Why, Nicki? Why can’t you be happy with me?” His voice was hoarse and rough.
What the hell was he talking about? She almost jumped up to ask him, but fear held her back. Fear of what? Rejection? Maybe Adam really didn’t love her, and their marriage was truly over? Or was this because of the child they lost?
Her heart pounded.
“I know I’m not handsome enough for you. I know I’m not the best husband.” His voice carried through the room. “But why must you take jobs that pull us apart?” The quiet click of the door closed on his last words.
Nicki took a shaky breath before pushing to her feet, keeping close to the wall as she made her way out of the room, and back to the bedroom. She wanted to confront Adam, but he’d shut her down and they’d end up fighting rather than talking if she pushed him tonight.
Why couldn’t he talk to her about this? Did he really resent her career—any career—that much? He never said so, and the Miralar job would mean they wouldn’t have to be apart as much. Some but nothing like now. Didn’t he realize that?
She returned to the bedroom, stripped off her robe, climbed back into bed, and turned onto her side, staring at the bedroom door. Her stomach hurt along with an ache in her heart. She had to find a way to talk to him.
Minutes later, Adam entered the room, and she didn’t even pretend she was asleep. She waited for him to say something.
“I didn’t mean to wake you.” He took off his robe and climbed onto the mattress.
“You didn’t.”
“Is there something wrong?” He turned onto his side and slipped his arm over her waist.
“No.” As much as she wanted to talk to him, in bed wasn’t the ideal place. She forced herself to relax and allow him to gather her into his embrace. “Just lonely.” More than lonely—heart sick.
“I can fix that.” He brushed a kiss over her lips.
“Hold me.” She laid her head on his chest, curling into his heat. His heart beat strong and sure beneath her ear. His arms closed over her, his palms rubbing her back.
Eventually, she began to settle down. She didn’t know if she’d survive losing Adam again, but she couldn’t give up a chance at her new job. She had no idea what she was going to do, but whatever she chose, heartache was a sure path.
Chapter Nine
Over the next week, thoughts of losing Adam tore at Nicki’s heart. The nightmares she thought she’d conquered had begun to plague her again. They encompassed the reflection of the reality of her life, the reality of her lost baby. Doubts about herself as a woman and an actress filled her mind, and she couldn’t concentrate worth a crap.
“Nicki,” Michael whispered in her ear. “Next line.”
“What?” She answered in a normal voice without thinking.
“Cut,” Adam yelled.
She let out a sigh. If she didn’t get her act together they’d be here forever.
“Take five, everyone,” he said as he walked over to her. “What’s the matter, sweetheart?” His fingers found the nape of her neck and massaged the knots there.
She fought against melting against him. She wanted… No, she needed his strength and support. But he couldn’t give it to her; she had to figure this out on her own. Alone, always alone.
“I’m sorry.” Tears clogged her throat. Damn, she couldn’t even control her emotions now.
“Baby.” He tilted her face and stared down at her with concern.
She closed her eyes, not wanting to see his discomfort, his worry. She had more than enough of that herself. He tried to pull her close, to hug her, but she resisted. She had to, because if she let herself be wrapped in his cocoon of tenderness and understanding, she’d lose it.
Hell, she was already losing it.
“I…I need…” A tear spilled from her eye, and with a cry, she pulled away from Adam and ran for her trailer.
Adam drew his hand down his face as Nicki ran. She hadn’t been sleeping well. She tried to hide it from him, but he knew. They talked, but not about what they needed to talk about—their marriage.
They talked about work, but not about the child they’d lost and certainly not about their future. He was finally finding the courage to open up to her, and she was shutting him down. The irony of it wasn’t lost on him.
“Take a break, everyone,” Adam called.
He ambled over to her trailer, opened the door, and stepped in. The air was stale from disuse. His hands clenched at his sides when he heard her sobbing. Shutting the door quietly, he flipped the lock and tiptoed over to the bed where Nicki lay face down.
He laid a hand on her back, and she jumped.
“Is there anything I can do?” His hand massaged in small circles, trying to show her he cared. Damn it, he did care. He wanted to be there for her, no matter what. He wouldn’t run again.
“There’s nothing you can do.” Her words were muffled.
“Nicki, I only want to help.” When she turned over to face him, his heart stuttered. She cradled a brown teddy bear against her breasts, holding onto it as if it was the only thing she had left in the world. It was the bear they’d picked out together for their child.
His stomach clenched, and his hand fell to his side. Pain radiated through his veins as he stared at the bear. “You kept it.” He didn’t know how the words passed the constriction in his throat, but it did.
“Yes.”
“Why?” His heart constricted. Did she want to discuss the child they lost? He wasn’t sure if he could, but he’d damn well try. It was time for him to man up and do the right thing.
“A reminder of a time when we were happy.”
He drew in a shaky breath. “What do you want, Nicki?”
She stared at him. “I’m not sure what I want. Maybe honesty. All I know is I’m tired of being the docile, little wife who never challenges her husband.”
“Docile? You have never been docile a day in your life.” Her spunk was one of the many reasons he had fallen in love with her. Hell, he still loved her.
“Yes, I have. I never asked you the questions I should have.”
“Like what?” What was going on in that brain of hers?
“Why did you walk out on me after the baby died?”
He closed his eyes then opened them, trying to suppress the instant pain clenching his heart. “I couldn’t handle our child dying.” Honest. He had to be honest with her even if the words shredded his heart and pride.
“If that was true, after a few days you would have come back. You blamed me for the baby dying.”
Oh, God. He crossed to her side and dropped down on the floor next to the bed “Never, Nicki.” He ran his finger over her knuckles. “I never blamed you.” How could she think that? “I saw the pain in your face, and that pain cut me to the quick. I couldn’t handle it.”
“It was a pain I needed to share.” Her fingers entwined with his. “I needed to be with you, but you bailed out. By the time I got back to our apartment, you’d moved out.”
“It was the best thing to do.” At the time, it had seemed like it. Now, he saw it as a cowardly move. He’d avoided the conflict because it meant showing her emotions he feared would be thrown back in his face.
“Best thing for who? You ran, Adam. And you’re still running from the emotions that make us all human.”
“I’m as human as the next man.” Trust her to call him out. But he didn’t know what to say or do. He’d never been good at handling his emotions; he’d been taught by his father emotions didn’t have a place in a man’s life.
“Have you ever cried for our child?”
The question had him straightening his spine. “Yes.” He had shed
his tears in private where they couldn’t be used against him. “But it was a weak moment.”
“That statement just said it all.” She brushed his hands aside.
He dragged a hand through his hair. “I can’t help how I was brought up.” His father berated him for every tear, for every single outburst of emotion. He’d learned at a young age to hide them from everyone.
“True, but you can change if you wanted to.”
“I’m trying.” He slid onto the bed next to her. “I cried for our baby at night, alone. I never blamed you for what happened. I blamed myself.”
“What?” Her hands fluttered in front of her and landed on his chest.
“I didn’t protect you, and I didn’t protect our child.” His voice broke as he spoke, and the cold ice around his heart melted.
Nicki touched his cheek. “There was nothing either of us could have done to prevent my losing the baby.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” His palm covered her fingers where they lay across his cheek, capturing her warmth. He needed her touch to keep him grounded as he admitted his darkest feelings. “Nicki, I—”
A knock on the door interrupted him.
“Nicki, are you okay?” Michael yelled.
In an instant, jealousy and anger hit Adam like a bullet train. Michael could make Nicki smile and laugh more than he ever could. He was failing as a husband and as a man, just as his father told him he would.
“She’s fine,” Adam answered.
“Oh, sorry, Adam. Didn’t realize you were in there with her. Later.” Michael’s footsteps retreated.
Silence filled the trailer as Adam grappled with his jealousy.
Nicki touched his hand. “Shall I move back here to my trailer?”
“If you want.” But he didn’t want that. He wanted her in their home, in their bed.
“What do you want, Adam?”
“Hell if I know.” He dropped a kiss on her forehead before he stomped to the door and unlocked it. “I’m going to take a walk.”
He jumped down the stairs and headed for the cliffs. He needed to think.
****
Nicki sighed as she stroked the fur of the teddy bear. It was amazing it had any fur left. What was Adam still hiding from her? There was something in his past. His childhood hadn’t been the best, but why did she have a feeling there was more to it? But Adam had talked to her about their child. It was a step in the right direction. Now if she could get him to see his jealousy was an issue…
