A Relationship...Or Something Like It

by Greene, Caroline

  “I am glad to hear it because I like you too! I like knowing what you are up to, and I have a lot of fun reading about your life and talking to you.”

  “I am happy to hear that.”

  “Well, I don’t want to cost you a big phone bill, so I will let you go. I will send you a letter soon though I am a horrible letter writer.”

  “Bye.”

  “Good night.”

  November 13, 1992

  Dear Abigail,

  I am sorry to be so impersonal typing your letters, but I am afraid that if I don’t you will never be able to read them. My principal is always yelling at me about my messy handwriting! Things are going well at work, and I have some great classes this year. I teach 7th grade Social Studies, American Geography, and Advanced Social Studies.

  Schools also have committees for improvement. This year, since I expressed an interest in an administrative career, I am on the Honor Roll committee. This is where students are given special recognition and incentives for performing quality work in their studies. No other school has a program like this, so we may be written up in the newspaper. By the way, the paper that this article will be published in is The Sun Sentinel. I enjoy reading their articles, and I am sure it would be a great place to work next year!

  How are your studies and job hunt going? Your African American History class sounds especially interesting. Who is your professor? I had a great professor when I studied up there named Dr. Carlson. Does he have a bad back? He may be retired by now.

  By the way, I voted for Bush in the election but I hope that Clinton will make some positive changes, especially for education. I have always voted straight Republican.

  Hope you are not disappointed by my first attempt at a letter. I hope I hear from you soon.

  Kyle

  November 17, 1992

  Dear Kyle,

  I was very happy to receive your letter. Thanks for the tip about The Sun Sentinel. I will definitely send them out a resume and see what happens. Some other papers I am applying to are The Lansing State Journal, The Detroit News, The Detroit Free Press, The Jewish Kibitzer, Palm Beach Post, Florida Weekly, and The Miami Herald. I figure for a recently graduated journalist whose only experience is writing for the local school paper, I may have to go to some of the smaller papers first. If you still have The Sun Sentinel clipping of the article your school is featured in, I would love to read more about it. It must be exciting to have your hard work featured.

  Classes are going well; I have Dr. Cohen for my African American History class this semester. Dr. Cohen is one of my favorite professors of all time. It is because of him that History is my minor. I have heard of Dr. Carlson although I do not know if he has a bad back. I have never had him as a professor, and he doesn’t teach many classes, but he is very well respected.

  What are your plans for Thanksgiving? I will, of course, be going home to my parents’ and having dinner. I am not a big fan of Turkey, but my mother usually makes side dishes I enjoy. I know that most of your family is in Michigan, so I hope you are not too lonely.

  Abigail

  November 23, 1992

  Dear Abigail,

  I was very flattered in your interest in my committee work. Here is a copy of the article for you to read. I felt it was very nicely done.

  For Thanksgiving, I usually go over to my neighbors’ house. Keith and Willa have become my closest friends since I have moved into this condo complex. They were good listeners during my toughest times. I’m sure I will enjoy dinner with them.

  If you ever run into Dr. Carlson, you should ask him if he has a bad back. I’m sure that he probably will be retiring soon as he has been around since I was a student. History is one of my favorite subjects, too, which is why I became a Social Studies teacher.

  I am thinking of visiting my brother and his family around Christmas time. I will let you know for sure and give you their phone number if I decide in the next few weeks. I would love to have another in person date with you.

  Kyle

  November 29, 1992

  Dear Kyle,

  I just got back from my visit home on Thanksgiving break and was excited to see a letter from you in my mailbox. When will you be visiting your family? I hope you will be able to spend some time with me. Will you be around for New Year’s Eve? I usually spend that night at a house party with friends, but I have never had someone to kiss at midnight before. Let me know the details as soon as you can. December 18th will be my last final exam, and I will be coming home for break on the 19th. I hope it works out that you can visit.

  Right now, I am busy with working on papers and gearing up for finals. My Thanksgiving was very nice. Thursday was spent with family and then my friends and I got together a few times to go to the movies and out dancing. It was nice to see people who are at different colleges who I don’t stay in touch with year round.

  Next semester, my last one before I graduate, will be setting up interviews. I have a few prospects that I have been talking to, and I feel both excited and scared. I cannot believe that my four years of college are almost over.

  Again, please let me know if you do decide to visit; I will make time for you for sure.

  Abigail

  December 3, 1992

  Hi Kyle,

  I know I just wrote to you, but I am sitting in Telecommunication class, and I am bored, so I am sitting writing to you in my notebook to pass the time while I am half listening to a lecture. I have a cold, and I had to go to the clinic for an antibiotic. I was thinking of the fun things we can do if you are visiting. I could always visit you some time this year. My Spring Break is early March, and I have a grandmother in nearby Boca Raton who I am sure would like to see me.

  Hope everything is going well with you!

  Abigail

  December 11, 1992

  Dear Abigail,

  Sorry I have not written lately. I am a very bad letter writer. I trust that the clinic took good care of you and that your cold is better. If I were there, I would have brought you chicken soup.

  Unfortunately, I will only be in town from December 20th through the 26th, so no New Year’s Eve kiss. We can pretend though, and I look forward to it. I was thinking that maybe we could go to Chinese food and a movie on Christmas Day to keep the Jewish tradition alive. I do have to spend time with my family, but I want to see you, too.

  I know what your parents think of me, and I wrote a long letter about that before I tore it up. But we will deal with that on my visit this winter. If they are open to it, I would be happy to meet them.

  My brother is Raymond and my Sister-in-Law is Elizabeth, and I will tell them to expect your call. Their number is (810) 892-1443. I hope that we can spend some time together during my visit.

  Kyle

  December 15, 1992

  Dear Kyle,

  I am very excited about your visit, and I hope we can spend time together. My friends are also curious to meet you and maybe we can spend time with them as well. I look forward to our non-New Year’s Eve date and our real kiss.

  As for my parents, they have not decided for sure yet, but they were thinking of visiting my Mother’s mother (my grandmother Sybil) in New Jersey that week. My Father’s mother lives in Florida, so I may have an excuse to visit in the spring. So my parents may not be home, and we may just have to deal with Ross.

  I am in the middle of Finals Week right now and am studying hard, but it’s worth it knowing that I have something over break to look forward to. Have a safe trip, and I will see you soon.

  Abigail

  Chapter 14: Being Honest With Friends and Family

  Leigh is the only one of us with a car up at school, so she generously offers to drive Diana and me home. Things are still tense with Leigh, and she doesn’t like the fact that I am holding some things back from her. I am excited and of course I tell her and Diana about the plans I have over Winter Break to meet up with the guy from the summer with whom I have been exchanging letters and phone calls. Dian
a speaks up first.

  “I’m sure we will be having a few get-togethers this break. I hope you two come by so we can meet him!”

  I know then that I have to tell them everything as I want my friends to meet him in person and get their opinion.

  “I definitely want him to meet you if it is possible. But I want to be completely honest with you now. I know when I mentioned there was someone at work that was interested in me who is 13 years older you didn’t seem to approve. Well, Kyle is that guy, the one with the letters and phone calls this year. I wanted to make sure of the direction things were going before I gave you any details that you might judge or worry about.”

  There is a moment of silence, and Leigh finally speaks up.

  “I don’t like that you lied to me, but I think I understand. I would have listened. I think of how many times you were there for me when I was going through that time with Daniel last year. I just wish you had trusted me with the complicated stuff.”

  Diana adds, “I kind of suspected it was him, but I didn’t want to push. I hope we do get to meet him and that things work out.”

  I have a feeling deep down that even though things appear to be all right again between Leigh and me, it will take a lot of work and repair to get our friendship back to the way it was. She feels that a level of trust has been broken by my not disclosing everything. I wonder, though I would never say anything to her, if she rushed into her relationship with Ted just so she wouldn’t have to face being alone and if she has been holding out some details of her own. Sometimes during his visits and phone conversations, I hear arguments between her and Ted and don’t think things are as perfect as she wants them to be.

  We drive home in silence. Diana is dropped off first and says to me,

  “My mom and Stepdad are having a Chanukah party tomorrow. I hope you can stop by. Maybe bring Kyle, too. I know it’s a bit far for you to drive, but you are welcome too, Leigh!”

  Leigh and I are alone in the car.

  “I’m glad you finally were honest with me. I can understand lying, especially since you covered for me with my parents a lot when I was with Daniel. I would’ve understood had you been honest.”

  Again I apologize to her for not being fully honest and wish her a good break. I let her know that I hope we can all meet halfway during one of the days, and I thank her for the ride home. I hope that one day our friendship will be okay.

  I walk in the front door and set my stuff down in the hallway. My mom rushes to give me a hug to welcome me home. She informs me she’s made one of my favorite dinners and that since the roads are bad on the East Coast, she and dad have decided to wait until spring to go to New Jersey. I sigh, and of course mom notices my disappointment.

  “What’s the matter? Won’t you be glad to spend time with me and dad?”

  I figure it is now or never and that I need to be completely honest as I was with my friends.

  “Mom, remember Kyle? He is the older guy, Ruth’s cousin that I worked with this summer? Well, I have not been completely honest with you.”

  I proceed to tell mom all about our date at the end of the summer, the letters, the phone call, and ending with the visit, and how we plan on seeing each other. Mom is silent for a very long time. Finally, she speaks.

  “I am glad you are telling me now. I would like to talk to dad and then we’ll talk to you about this later.”

  I am relieved that this is coming out in the open but worried about what my parents will decide. Not that it will matter that much anyway as I am a legal adult, about to go into the job market, and will be 22 in a couple of months. But, indefinitely, I will still be living under their roof and borrowing their car.

  My friend Nick and his friend Julia call me and invite me to hang out. Matt and Diana are joining us as well as a bunch of our other high school friends. We go over to Nick’s house, and I confide to everybody how worried I am about how I finally came clean to my parents about my summer romance. They all assure me it is going to be all right and that things will work out. I delay going home until it is very late hoping to avoid a confrontation.

  I am not so lucky. My parents are waiting up for me, and they lead me into the living room to talk. My dad speaks first.

  “I am very disappointed in you for keeping things from us for as long as you did.”

  Mom chimes in, “We just want what is best for you and want you to not be afraid to introduce us to your friends. We definitely want to meet him. I’ve heard things from Ruth that concerns me.”

  My dad picks up where she left off. “We are, however, willing to keep an open mind as long as from this point forward, you are honest about everything.”

  I hug them both with relief.

  “I promise you will meet him and like him as much as I do! Kyle and I have definite plans for Christmas night and hopefully, before that. Thank you both for being so understanding.”

  Chapter 15: Together At Last

  I wake up very relieved the next morning that I have come clean with my friends and my parents. This will be a new starting point; Kyle will get to know all of them and things can move to the next level. I am really excited about this break and its promises!

  Matt is due to pick me up in the evening to give me a ride over to Diana’s. An hour before he is supposed to arrive, the phone rings.

  “Abigail,” Mom calls. “Kyle is on the phone for you.”

  I race to pick it up.

  “Hi Kyle,” I say in a rush. “I’m on my way to a friend’s family Chanukah party. Should I call and see if you can come? I know my friends want to meet you. Ross has the car but maybe you can swing by here and pick me up. Don’t worry, my parents know everything, and it will be okay.”

  I take a deep breath, and Kyle laughs.

  “I should spend some time with my family as I just got in and am barely unpacked. You’ve got the number where I am staying, right? Maybe you can give me a call later on, and you can get someone to drop you off somewhere later.”

  I agree and am happy that he called to check in with me. I let my mom know that I may be going out after Diana’s Chanukah party but that they will get an introduction to Kyle this week. Matt honks the horn, and we leave for the party. Diana’s mom is disappointed that Kyle was not able to stop by as are my friends, but they all seem happy with the turn of events. Matt agrees to drop me off somewhere if Kyle wants to meet up later. The party is nice, and I am glad to spend time with friends, but I am impatient as well.

  After a couple of hours, I call Kyle’s brother’s house. One of his nieces picks up and hands him the phone. We talk and decide that we will meet in half an hour at a nearby chain restaurant that is a popular hangout for local college and high school students. I am excited and wonder if the magic will be what I remember from this summer.

  Matt and Diana drop me off out front. Kyle isn’t there yet, so I go into the bathroom to tame my curls into something resembling a style. When I go out front again there Kyle is, grinning like I remember. We get a booth, and I order tea with lemon as I had just eaten at the party, and he orders a turkey sandwich and some coffee. We catch up, somewhat awkwardly at first, and then the conversation gets easier until we are back to the way things were this summer.

  We walk out to his rental car. He leans down to kiss me, and the kiss quickly deepens. Unlike the kisses I’ve shared with other men this one is electric, and it leaves me wanting more. This is chemistry, like the school guidance counselor promised me I would have one day. I continue the kiss and after a lot of time has passed by, both of us are feeling breathless.

  “Wow!” I am astounded, out of breath, and hungry for something I don’t quite understand, “I’ve never felt like this before! This is amazing!”

  Kyle seems just as equally moved, “Do you know how hard I am right now? I just meant to give you a little peck so as not to scare you. You don’t know this, but you are amazingly sensual.”

  We kiss again for several long minutes both fascinated by the pull and the f
eel of our bodies this close. Finally, Kyle pulls away.

  “We’re in a car, and it’s cold. I think I better get you home.”

  We hold hands on the drive home and then he walks me to the front door where we share one more deeply, intense kiss. It is amazing how good kissing can feel with the right person; for once I don’t want to gag and push him away. This is something special and rare.

  I get ready for bed with a smile on my face, anticipating the next few days. This is it for me! Right now, I’m glad I took the risk to be with someone who I truly wanted and desired.

  Chapter 16 In Serious Like (Afraid to Say the Other L-Word)

  The next morning, I wake up with a smile on my face. I am happier than I have ever felt in my entire life. Nothing has ever felt as right as things did last night. ‘Kyle Buchman’, I test the name out in my mind. ‘Abigail Buchman.’ I can’t help but love the way that sounds. I feel as if I could sing and dance all day long.

  Diana calls me and asks how things went last night. I smile and tell her that I don’t think she and our other friends will be seeing all that much of me over break until after the 26th. Any jealousy that I ever felt about her relationship with Matt is gone. In fact, I admit that they make a very nice couple who complement each other’s strengths very well. They may look mismatched: her statuesque 5’10 height to his wiry 5’4, but they always look so happy together. I want them and everybody else to be as happy as I am at this moment.

  The day passes, and I try to concentrate on reading, television shows, etc. but my mind keeps wandering back to Kyle and when he is going to call me. Surely he knows I would like to see him tonight. I know he is here to see family and there is a nagging worry that his ex-wife, who he may or may not be considering getting back together with, also lives nearby. But after Kyle’s kisses last night, I hope it means he is not thinking much about Sarah. Still, knowing that she is nearby makes me feel worried.

  I decide to call his brother’s house. Elizabeth, his sister-in-law answers the phone and tells me that Kyle is not in at the moment. I leave her my name and number and tell her to have him call me back when he can. I am disappointed and a little bit worried that his feelings were not as strong as mine.