No More Birthdays (Carol Ann Baker Crime)

by Pelzer,Lissa

  You don’t get revenge on someone by killing them. Nothing she would ever do in her life would have any effect on theirs now, on Gary Madison or The Judge. She could become President of The United States and they would never know it, would never care.

  Lilly didn’t squeeze the trigger. She’d realized that she rather let him get old, get sick and die alone. Why give him the gift of a quick death when she could force him to live his own miserable life to the last? The wheels of the Ford spun off and she was left there on the side of the road in the half-light, with not even a bottle of water to take the nasty taste of him out of her mouth.

  She took out her phone and found the number.

  ‘Hey…’ she said. ‘Do you think you could get a car from somewhere?’

  On the other end of the phone, there was silence before a breath. ‘Did you kill him?’ Cassandra asked.

  ‘No. I just got away from him. Look, I’ve got your luggage here…Your Louis Vuitton luggage.’

  There was silence.

  ‘You’re bat-shit crazy.’ Cassandra blew down the microphone. ‘Yeah, I reckon I can get a car.’

  Chapter 23

  It might have been a mistake. There wasn’t much to keep Cassandra from showing up with Davis right behind her, but she was out of other options. She could go up to the highway and get a ride straight off, but where would she go?

  Lilly left the luggage under the bush and went up to sit under the overhang with the early evening mosquitos. There were cop cars, and sirens. On the highway, cars pulled over to let them pass and Lilly just put her head down and waited. And when the sun went down and the mosquitos really started biting, she just had to stay sitting there and let them.

  She didn’t expect Cassandra too soon, but after an hour or so, a Toyota truck showed up, its tailgate painted out so it just read ‘YO’. Cassandra got out next to the luggage, picked it up straight away, not playing for time and Lilly had to scramble down the verge to make sure she didn’t just take off.

  ‘What did I tell you?’

  Lilly didn’t answer

  ‘So what happened?’

  ‘Not much. Maybe best if I don’t tell you.’

  ‘Did he try anything – anything mean?’

  ‘Hard to say, but he’s gone. I didn’t get any money out of him.’

  ‘I told you, you wouldn’t. You should have listened to me….’

  Lilly wanted to tell her that she had listened to her but didn’t want to tell Cassandra what Davis had told her. It wasn’t fair.

  ‘Look. I’m sorry I fucked up your weekend.’

  ‘You didn’t fuck it up. He did.’

  ‘You know that?’

  ‘You think you turned Terence McCoy off me? No offense but…’ She shook her head. ‘Damn shame but there it is.’

  ‘Maybe it was for the best. I’ve heard he’s weird.’

  ‘Weird like how?’

  Lilly paused. ‘The ways guys that age can be.’

  ‘You know…I can handle weird.’ She threw the cigarette down. ‘So, this is Thad’s truck, can you believe he was so cool to lend it to me?

  Lilly couldn’t. ‘Do you think the ‘yo’ is meant to be ironic?’

  Cassandra made a face like she had a headache. ‘It’ll have to do. Hey, I have the feeling you didn’t ask me out here just to give me my clothes back, as appreciated as it is.’

  ‘I need a ride.’

  ‘You know I can’t take you with me. I feel for you, but…’ She rolled the words around in her mouth. ‘Girls have got to look out for themselves. I can’t take the risk. You’re still crazy.’

  ‘It’s okay. Can we go back into town?’

  ‘Aren’t the cops looking for you?’

  ‘I’ll keep my head down,’ she said. ‘I’ve got to pick something up.’

  Cassandra didn’t want to. Lilly could see it, she was just summing up how much more effort it would take to get in the car and push Lilly away. Cassandra looked at her stuff in the back. ‘I guess girls still have to look out for each other too.’

  Lilly did keep her head down. Putting her knees up on the dash as they rode back into the city. It was too much to expect Davis to be logical, to think Cassandra would have nothing to do with her but at least she wouldn’t expect her in this truck.

  ‘You need to do something about your face.’ Cassandra said and Lilly touched the spot where it was sore.

  ‘Bobby crashed,’ she said.

  ‘So is that your blood or his?’

  She flipped down the mirror and saw the speckles of dried Gary across her cheek. ‘Damn it!’

  ‘I don’t care,’ Cassandra said. ‘I really don’t.’

  ‘It’s not Bobby. I didn’t touch him!’ She took a cloth from inside the door and began to rub at the marks. Cassandra wasn’t looking, but she turned away to spit on it in case she thought it was gross. ‘I didn’t shoot Bobby.’

  ‘You think I care?’

  ‘You did ask.’

  ‘That was just innocent curiosity.’

  It was like Davis said. Some girls honestly didn’t mind it.

  ‘Thanks for coming out here.’

  ‘I needed my luggage.’

  They were coming downtown, Cassandra driving around like it was her hometown on a Sunday afternoon, shoulders down, rooting in Thad’s glove box for CDs and rolling through the stop signs.

  ‘Are you going back to Miami?’ Lilly asked.

  Cassandra didn’t seem to hear her. ‘Where to now? This is a dead end.’

  Lilly saw the deserted warehouse and the single light bulb in its cage. ‘Can you wait here? I’ll be ten minutes max or else I’ll call you, but I really need you to come back and get me…’

  Cassandra lowered her chin. ‘Don’t be pathetic.’

  Lilly got out.

  She’d prefer not to be here, not to have to come back up to the tracks, to Moon Face’s boxcar, but it was the only thing she could think of. There might be police around or they might have sealed it off, but she’d have to risk it.

  Lilly went up the grass hill, her wedges slipping in the dirt, her eyes searching for shapes and contours until the lights of the city showed over the ridge as they had done last night and she stopped. She couldn’t see anyone and just hoped no one could see her either. The rocks crunched under her shoes. She went slowly.

  Moon Face’s boxcar door was half open. Lilly felt for it and held her phone up for light. There was no light inside, she hadn’t expected there to be, but as her eyes adjusted, the glow from the city showed her what she needed to see, the photos gone, no blankets or makeup baskets either. The couch was still there, the shelf too. For a second, she let herself think Moon Face had vacated it, that she’d had a nasty enough shock to pack up and leave. But she knew someone else had cleared her away, someone who cared or who didn’t want her to be identified or else someone who wanted to keep ownership of a girl that was no more, or what else – scared of the cops coming around and asking questions?

  Lilly knew she was no better than them as she crouched down by the stinking oil soaked trundle as she knew Moon Face must have done, and prayed the stuff was still there. She strained up into the dark to find something not coated in oil. She found it, a cheap lockbox from Wal-Mart and pulled it out.

  The truck was still there, illuminated under a streetlight.

  Cassandra was on her phone, scrolling through a search. ‘There’s a truck stop about three exists down.’

  ‘I suppose it’ll have to do. Can you pass me that screwdriver?’

  Cassandra leaned over. ‘What you got there?’ Her voice was too steady to be genuine. ‘Is that money?

  Lilly pressed down between the box and the lid and it sprung open, pathetically easy ‘No,’ she said, double-checking that she was right. ‘It’s just paperwork and nothing you could sell.’

  ‘Well, that was a waste of a trip.’

  ‘Sorry about that.’

  Cassandra shrugged.

  They got out of there an
d were going down a long, straight strip. Fast food signs for Arby’s, White Castle and Dairy Queen stuck out against the night. One-story brick buildings advertised dancing girls and cheap beers. Drive-thru garages showed their chips and beer all covered in exhaust fumes and trapped flies.

  ‘I bet you could get a ride here,’ Cassandra said. ‘Maybe it’s more discreet than the highway.

  Lilly watched the cheap signs, strip lighting behind plastic. ‘No,’ she said firmly. No explanation given. Where are you going to go?’

  ‘Look, honey. Don’t make me be a bitch about this.’

  ‘I don’t mean that I want to come with you. I was just wondering what you had planned.’

  ‘I’ll find something.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘Like something.’ Her voice was still smooth, still controlled. Sometimes it didn’t seem real. It was the first time Lilly had considered it, that it wasn’t her real accent at all.

  ‘Have you got money to get set up?’

  ‘I’ve put some away.’

  ‘You have? From Bobby?’

  ‘You know I can take care of myself…’

  ‘I’ve got about four hundred dollars. If you need some for gas or whatever.’

  ‘Four hundred? For what you’ve got ahead of you? Please don’t insult me. You need every cent.’ Cassandra let out a laugh, tried to make it sound like she stifled it. ‘Your four hundred wouldn’t make any difference to me. You need it more than I do.’

  ‘Okay. I was just offering.’

  They followed taillights onto the highway, Cassandra floating over the speed limit, meticulously so. Her pale eyes skimming over the speedometer making sure it didn’t drop to any slowness that could be described as suburban. Lilly looked out at the neighborhoods along the highway and thought of all the nice families eating a Sunday meal together and of all the families that looked so nice from the outside, but were probably fucked up because you could never really tell. And of course, sometimes things looked really fucked up, but they were just fine. Then she got this feeling in her stomach, like bubbles full of warm air and chocolate. She had the feeling that this was going to be okay.

  She’d never been out West before and glancing over at Cassandra, thought about asking her some questions, but decided not to. She’d work it out for herself. It wasn’t important. The only thing of importance was that she’d be as far away from this town as possible. She’d be on the other side of the country from Davis, and more importantly, if she did something with her life, if she used Moon Face’s ID and scholarship, she might never need to see Bobby again.

  Cassandra pulled up into the truck stop and drove Thad’s truck right into the lot full of semis. There was a motel and back from the grass a bathroom block, general store and diner.

  Cassandra said, ‘But if you’re so keen to give away money. I guess I’d be a fool not to take it.’

  Lilly pulled out her purse.

  ‘I’ll take a hundred. You know, then I can gas up here and get a good haul away before I stop again.’

  ‘Sure.’ Lilly smiled. Thad wasn’t getting his truck back. ‘So you don’t want to stay here tonight?’

  ‘Here? Where’s here?’

  ‘I mean in town, seeing as it’s dark already.’

  ‘What the hell reason have I got to stay here?’

  Her wallet was still open and Lilly fished inside. ‘There’s this.’ She pulled out the baggie and held it up to the light.

  ‘I don’t need that. I can drink a coffee.’

  She took out Gary’s business card. ‘Take this too. That’s a publicity office in Los Angeles. They look after Terence McCoy.’

  Cassandra reached for the card and the baggie and immediately drew her hand away. ‘What the fuck?’

  Lilly told her the basics of what had happened when she was in Gary’s room with Terence McCoy, what Gary had told her to say about the party, all of it just leaving out the info about Moon Face. She would need to use that. She told her to report her phone stolen and then spill the beans about Terence McCoy and she watched her eyes dancing around her face.

  ‘Why would I want to do that?’

  Lilly shrugged. ‘For money, what else? He’s going to be grateful to anyone who comes forward and says they were with him. Just don’t mention Gary, not to the police, not to Terence or the office or anyone. You never heard of him.’

  She didn’t ask why. She just held her hands up. She wasn’t going to take the baggie.

  ‘Maybe you should call them tomorrow and feel it out. Look, I’m just saying there’s something here if you want to use it.’ And Lilly waved it at her like a flag.

  Cassandra took the bag. ‘Hmm. Interesting.’ She held it up to the light. ‘Is it really his? Maybe I should just call them tomorrow and say he raped me. That sounds easier. Let them do the talking from there.’

  Lilly wet her lips. She hadn’t even thought of that.

  Cassandra laughed. ‘I really shouldn’t hold that up like that. I don’t want to get hassled for drugs.’ And she turned to Lilly. ‘Are you going to get out, or not?’

  The semis were lined up, some of them had their engines running and some didn’t. The hisses from the hydraulics made her jump, which made her look like an amateur, she wasn’t the only woman walking along between the lines and she wasn’t the youngest either.

  ‘How much little one?’ a guy called out from above.

  ‘Where you going?’ she called back.

  ‘Wherever you like!’ There was laughter from him and someone else inside and she carried on down the line.

  Further along, there was a truck cab with no trailer on the back and California license plates and she called up to the cab. ‘You on your way home?’

  A rough looking guy with puffy eyes and a scruffy blonde beard looked out. ‘What’s it to you?’

  ‘You going west? I need a ride home.’

  ‘Where’s home?’

  She stared up at him, tried to think of what sounded genuine. She could only think of the name of Moon Face’s school and it didn’t matter. ‘Culver City.’

  ‘Where’s that? It doesn’t matter.’ He spat out in the dirt. ‘You got hair up under that hat or you bald?’

  ‘I’ve got hair. I’ll show it you when I get in.’

  ‘I don’t need to see it,’ he said. ‘I just need to know it’s there.’

  He was still looking down.

  ‘So when do you leave?’

  ‘Next half an hour.’

  ‘Can I come along?’

  ‘That’s up to you, I reckon.’ He was still looking down. He looked safe enough and if he wasn’t, well he’d find out about the pug. ‘Do I have time to use the shower here?’

  ‘You don’t need to on my account if that’s what you’re thinking of. Hair or no hair, you’re still too young for me, but I don’t like to leave a girl stranded. I’ve got girls of my own.’

  ‘I just…’ She was searching for words to explain herself but was dead tired. The day and the night were falling on her like a thick blanket.

  ‘You go take your shower,’ he said. ‘I’ll be right here.’

  She nodded at him and went back down the line, her bag digging into her shoulder and her shoes cutting up her feet, but it didn’t matter anymore. She wasn’t going to be pretty and she wasn’t going to be Lilly. She was going to be Moon Face or rather, Janine Kenny for just as long as she could get away with it.

  She bought black hair dye and scissors from the gas station pharmacy, and in the bathroom the color took quickly. She watched herself turn into a girl called Janine right there in the mirror, cutting her hair before she’d rinsed the dye out. Wet black ends, not blonde ones fell into the trash. There was no Lilly here. People who had said that name in the past were talking about someone else, someone who didn’t exist anymore. She held up the ID and looked at herself. The lips and cheeks needed to relax more and she relaxed them. The eyes needed to lose their focus, she couldn’t quite manage that, but luckily it w
as dark out.

  She came back down the line of trucks, head height with the turn signals and brake lights shining in her eyes. At first she couldn’t see the cab with no trailer. There was the guy who had yelled at her and he yelled at her again.

  ‘Screw you,’ she shouted back and walked out into the lane. Then she saw it, the truck was up there the guy had edged out. He was in line to go and he was moving slowly. She hadn’t been that long. Why was he leaving already? She began to run. She shouted out.

  ‘Hey! Wait for me.’ But her voice got lost in the roar of an engine and an air horn from behind.

  One of the drivers grabbed her and tried to pull her to the side out of the line of semis. She swung at him and dropped her bag, scrambled to her feet, but he still had her tight.

  ‘Carol Ann Baker.’ The voice wasn’t male. It was small and sharp like the stars in the night sky above them. She could see the outline, the short, rough hair. ‘This is it now, Carol Ann. No more games.’

  And Lilly froze with the chilled highway air in her lungs.

  Davis pulled her along. ‘There’s a warrant out for your arrest. Let’s not make a big deal out of it. It is was it is.’ She wasn’t looking at her. She was just being a cop.

  ‘What are you arresting me for?’ Lilly cried.

  ‘Kidnapping it was, accessory to murder it is.’

  ‘For The Judge, for Georgia? What do you care?’

  ‘No.’ Davis stopped and spun her around. ‘For Ohio. For being in the car with Bobby Alvin and for Gary Madison showing up dead in his trunk.’ She had her by the shoulders and was squeezing her tight like she wanted to shake her. ‘Why couldn’t you just get on that bus? This would have been all over for you if you’d just got on that bus. Bobby being pulled over with a corpse, no one could have stuck you for Judge Ramsey after that!’

  Lilly pulled back, but Davis was stronger. ‘Bobby didn’t kill Gary.’

  ‘Save it. He doesn’t deserve your protection.’

  ‘I killed him! I shot Gary Madison.’ She felt Davis’s grip loosen, but only for a moment. Davis said something, but it was lost in the sound of an engine starting up.

  ‘I did it. You always want to know the truth. Well, there it is. I killed The Judge and I killed Gary and they both deserved it. But that’s it. Do you get it? It’s out of my system now. Two dead perverts. Who cares?’