Her Secret Cowboy

by Marin Thomas

  “Hello, Marsha.”

  “You’re sure Ryan staying at the farm won’t interfere with your weekend plans?”

  She had trouble making eye contact with him. Maybe she wasn’t as confident about cooling things off between them as she claimed to be. “I don’t have any plans,” he said.

  “See you later, Mom.” Ryan hopped into the passenger seat and shut the door.

  “I’m sorry, Will. I hope you’re not upset about Ryan wanting to help with your dyslexia.”

  “It’s nice to know he cares about me.” He cleared his throat. “When should I have him home?”

  “Whenever you get tired of him.”

  “You know how to reach me.”

  Marsha nodded. “Have fun.”

  “Is something wrong with my mom?” Ryan asked as Will drove off.

  “I don’t know. Why?”

  “I think she’s sad.”

  “Maybe she has a lot on her mind.” Will didn’t care if Marsha’s decision to end their relationship before it had gotten off the ground upset her. She’d made the call—she had to live with the consequences. “You hungry?”

  “Sure. I can always eat.” Ryan smiled. “Ask my mom. She goes to the grocery store a lot.”

  Will chuckled. His grandmother had complained about her six grandsons eating the family out of house and home. After a pit stop at Vern’s Drive-In and two chicken-finger baskets with fries later, they arrived at the farm. Conway and Porter’s trucks were missing and the twins weren’t playing in the yard. “Looks like everyone’s gone,” he said.

  “Bandit’s here.” The dog lay sprawled in the dirt next to his doghouse.

  “How would you like to teach me the reading techniques down by the fishing pond and we’ll take Bandit with us?”

  “Do I have to fish?”

  “Nope.” But Will needed a way to calm his nerves and fishing relaxed him. “You get Bandit and I’ll grab my gear in the barn and pack a cooler of drinks.”

  Fifteen minutes later, Ryan and Will set down the cooler, fishing gear and two lawn chairs beneath the pecan tree by the water hole. Bandit rolled in the dirt a few feet away.

  “What kind of fish are in the pond?” Ryan asked.

  “A few carp and one or two catfish.”

  “That’s all?”

  Will chuckled. “The water gets too hot during the summer to support a larger population so the few that are in there are strong enough to survive.” Will baited his hook.

  “What smells?” Ryan pinched his nose and grimaced.

  “Stink bait.”

  “Gross.”

  “I’m going to aim for the far corner of the pond.” Will cast his line, but it fell short of his goal and he reeled it in.

  “Can I try?” Ryan asked.

  Will handed over the pole.

  Ryan’s motion was awkward and the line barely made it to the center of the pond. “It’s harder than it looks,” he said.

  “Try again.”

  The hook landed at the water’s edge. He expected Ryan to give up, but he kept at it. Will’s chest filled with pride. On the fifth try, the line sailed across the pond and splashed in the far corner.

  “That was perfect,” Will said.

  Ryan grinned and handed the pole to Will who balanced it against the chair before he opened the cooler and passed Ryan a can of soda then popped open the tab on a can for himself.

  “How long does it take before they bite?” Ryan asked.

  “Could be five minutes or two hours.”

  “You want to start the exercises to help your eyes stay steady?”

  “I’ve had this problem all my life. It might not be as easy to fix as the research claims.”

  “That’s okay. If it takes forever, I don’t mind helping you.”

  Humbled, Will said, “Show me what to do.”

  Ryan scooted his chair closer and turned on his e-reader. After enlarging the print of an article entitled “Tracking and Dyslexia,” he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket, folded it into a neat square, then covered all the words, except the first word in the first sentence.

  “You have to read each word out loud so your eyes don’t wander,” Ryan said. “Once you read the word, move the paper to the next one and read it.”

  Will forced himself to relax. “These.” He moved the paper, but his eyes flickered to the word he’d already read. Increasing his focus only made the letters in the second word shuffle places. The word looked familiar... “Exercise.”

  “Exercises,” Ryan said. “It’s plural.”

  “Exercises.” Will focused harder. “Have. Im...pro...ved. Eye. T...rack...ing.”

  “That’s good,” Ryan said.

  Will appreciated his son’s enthusiasm, but he felt the beginnings of a headache building behind his eyes. “Ability.”

  “You read the whole sentence.” Ryan’s smile faded. “What’s wrong?”

  Forcing his brow muscles to relax, Will said, “When I concentrate, I get a headache.”

  “Okay, we can do a different exercise.” Ryan took the e-reader from Will and turned it off. “We’ll strengthen your core.”

  “All I have to do is a few sit-ups and I’ll read better?”

  Ryan shook his head. “More than a few sit-ups.”

  Shoot. Will would rather do physical exercise any day than fumble through words. “Are you doing sit-ups with me?”

  “Sure.” Ryan sank to the ground then laid flat on his stomach. “You gotta lift one arm and then the opposite leg up and hold it for 5 seconds, then do the other arm and leg. Watch.”

  After the demonstration Will joined Ryan in the dirt and counted the seconds. After repeating the exercise for each arm and leg, Ryan said, “It’s a lot harder than it looks on the YouTube video.”

  “Tell you what. I’ll practice these before I go to bed every night and after a week I’ll let you know if I notice a difference when I read.”

  “Maybe you could write down your reps in a log book.”

  “That’s a good idea.” The kid wanted proof that Will would keep his word.

  “And maybe you should read two pages a day. One in the morning and one at night until you don’t get a headache anymore.”

  Ryan truly wanted Will to succeed. How could he not follow through with the exercises and written log, even if it didn’t help him read better? “Hey, Ryan, can I ask you a question?”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  “Did I ever cross your mind through the years?”

  Ryan rubbed Bandit’s belly.

  “It’s okay if you don’t want to answer,” Will said.

  “I kind of tried not to think about you.” Ryan’s blue gaze connected with Will’s for a moment before he glanced away.

  “I don’t know if your mom told you, but my father wasn’t around when I was growing up.”

  “He wasn’t?” The curiosity in Ryan’s voice gave Will the courage to open up.

  “My dad never married my mother. It really bothered me as a kid and I bugged my mom with a lot of questions about him. Where was he? Why didn’t he want to see me?”

  “Mom said if I ever wanted to know about you, she’d tell me, but she always looked kind of scared when she said that. I thought I wasn’t supposed to ask.” He shrugged. “After a while I got used to it being me and Mom and I kind of forgot about you.”

  Ryan’s honesty hurt, but Will pushed it aside. “I wasn’t that close with my mother,” he said. “If I had been, I might not have wanted to know more about my dad.”

  “Did you get to meet your dad?”

  “I did.”

  “What did he say?”

  “Not a whole lot. He was married and had two little kids younger than me.”
>
  “Did he want to be your dad?”

  “No.”

  “Were you angry with him?” Ryan asked.

  “Yes.” Will gathered his thoughts. “I want you to know...”

  “What?”

  “That you don’t have to do things with me, if you don’t want to.”

  Ryan frowned. “You don’t want to do stuff together?”

  “Yes, I want to do things with you, but I’m probably not the kind of man you envisioned for a father.”

  “You mean because you have dyslexia and didn’t go to college?”

  Ouch. “Yeah.” It was more painful to have this conversation with his son than it had been to face his own father years ago.

  “It’s not your fault that reading is hard. And you’re trying to learn.”

  Living up to Ryan’s standards wouldn’t be easy, but Will was going to give it his best effort.

  “Can I ask you a question?” Ryan said.

  “Sure.”

  “Are you disappointed that you got a son who doesn’t like rodeo?”

  Will would be a liar if he didn’t admit that when they’d first met, he’d wished Ryan was more like him. But after getting to know his son and realizing the depth of his intellect, Will acknowledged it was his own insecurities that had made him worry the two of them would have nothing in common.

  “I like you the way you are, Ryan. I couldn’t be more proud of your academic accomplishments, and I know you’ll go on and do great things in whatever career you choose.”

  “It’s okay with you then if I want to get good grades and go to a really good college?”

  Will squeezed Ryan’s shoulder. “It’s more than okay.”

  “Can I ask a personal question?” Ryan said.

  “Sure.”

  “Did you love my mom when...you know...” Ryan looked away.

  “I was a wild teenager in those days, and I only thought about myself. Your mom was a smart girl with a bright future ahead of her and I should have known better not to take advantage of her. For that I’ll always be sorry.”

  “Do you like my mom now?”

  “I’ve always liked your mother and admired her.” That was the truth. The fact that the memory of his prom date with Marsha had been responsible for breaking off his engagement to Rachel proved Marsha meant more to him than he’d realized.

  “I’m glad ’cause I really want you guys to get along and for us to do stuff together.”

  Easier said than done after Marsha had decided to keep her distance.

  “Did you know my grandpa is dying?” Ryan said.

  The abrupt change of subject startled Will. Marsha must have had a talk with Ryan about his grandfather’s cancer.

  “I heard,” Will said.

  “My mom doesn’t know that my grandpa told me a couple of days ago when she and Grandma went to the store.”

  “I’m sorry about your grandfather, Ryan. I know he’s very special to you.”

  “How close were you to your grandfather?” Ryan asked.

  “My grandfather was like a father.”

  “My grandpa said he’s not afraid of dying, because he knows he’ll meet God when he gets to Heaven.”

  Will had gone to church on a few occasions in the past, but he was no expert on religion or faith. Maybe that was one reason the pastor remained adamant that Will keep his distance from Ryan. “I’m glad you’re close to your grandfather.”

  It was the truth, but Will didn’t want to wait until Marsha’s father took a turn for the worse before he and Ryan didn’t have to sneak around to be together. The trick was convincing the pastor that there was room for both of them in Ryan’s life.

  “Look, Dad! You got a bite!” Ryan scrambled off the ground and lunged for the pole then reeled the fish in.

  “That’s a catfish,” Will said.

  “It’s huge. What do I do with him?”

  “Do you want to eat him or toss him back?”

  “I like fish but...” Ryan shook his head. “We’ll let him live, so the twins can catch him.”

  Will held the flopping fish steady and wiggled the hook out of its mouth. “You want to toss him into the pond?”

  Grimacing, Ryan held the fish, then released him at the edge of the pond.

  “For a first-time fisherman you’ve got real potential.” Will’s chest swelled with affection for his son. Too bad Ryan’s grandfather saw so little potential in Will.

  Chapter Twelve

  “What are you going to do?” Hillary slid a comb through Marsha’s damp hair.

  “I’m not sure.” Marsha had stopped at the Bee Luv Lee Hair Salon for advice from her friend, but in the end it had cost her the price of a haircut.

  “I know.” Hillary pinned a section of hair to the top of Marsha’s head then snipped a quarter inch off the ends.

  “Don’t keep me in suspense.”

  “Stand up to your father for once.”

  Marsha winced. There’d been numerous Saturday nights in high school when her father had nixed Marsha’s plans with Hillary, because he’d been overprotective. “I held my ground with him.” Sort of.

  “Just because you’re not interfering in Ryan and Will’s relationship doesn’t mean you stood up for yourself.”

  “It’s more complicated than that.” Marsha might as well tell the truth since it was only the two of them in the beauty shop. “Will and I...”

  Hillary gasped. “Had sex?”

  Marsha nodded.

  A dreamy expression settled over Hillary’s face. “It sounds so romantic...reuniting with your first love. Was it better the second time around?”

  Oh, yeah. “The sex was great. Perfect.”

  “Then what happened?”

  “I went home and my father guessed what I’d done...” She fisted her hands beneath the cape, then winced when her nails bit into her palms. “He believes I can do better than Will.”

  “Don’t tell me you listened to him,” Hillary said.

  “How can I go against his wishes when he’s dying?”

  “What did Will say when you told him about all this?”

  “I didn’t tell him. I said I thought it was better if we kept our distance from each other.”

  “That was cruel.”

  “It would have been worse if we’d kept dating. My father would have become more upset and the last thing I want is for him to confront Will.”

  Hillary sectioned off more hair and snipped the edges. “You’re crazy if you believe Will is going to wait until your father dies and then take you back with open arms.”

  Marsha knew the risks when she’d pushed Will away, but in the farthest reaches of her heart, a secret dream had taken hold after she’d given birth to Ryan—one day she’d reunite with Will and they’d become a family.

  And now you’ve made a mess of things with Will.

  “I love Will.” Admitting her feelings out loud lifted a huge weight off her chest.

  Hillary set the scissors aside. “Can I be blunt?”

  “Of course.”

  “Are you attracted to Will because he’s different from you?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I thought you and Will were all wrong for each other in high school. You two are polar opposites.”

  “We’re not that different.” Marsha wanted to believe so anyway.

  “You make twice as much money as Will does,” Hillary said. “And you went to college. You live in California and Will has never moved from the place he was born.”

  “Money and education aren’t the only things that make people compatible or incompatible.”

  “Maybe, but money and education influence how a person views the world and their
place in it,” Hillary said.

  “It’s possible that Will and I look at some things differently but as long as our values match up, I don’t see a problem.” As brave as her words sounded, Marsha worried Will might not feel her equal.

  Hillary fluffed Marsha’s hair. “If things don’t work out for you and Will, at least he and Ryan are getting along.”

  And no matter what happened between her and Will, Marsha pledged to do everything possible for father and son to remain close.

  “How’s your dad feeling lately?” Marsha asked.

  “Tired. I can tell his body is slowing down.”

  Hillary sorted through her brushes then grabbed the hair dryer. “Is he in a lot of pain?”

  “Not that I can tell.”

  “I don’t want to be nosey or rude but how long does he have now that he quit the cancer treatments?”

  “The doctor told my mother anywhere from six months to a year and a half. Staying involved in the church is giving him the strength to keep going.”

  Hillary laughed.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “I don’t think it’s his Sunday sermons that are lighting his fire, rather the fact that he found out Will is Ryan’s father.”

  Could it be true? Had Marsha’s father caught a second wind when he learned the truth about his grandson’s father? Was his determination to keep Will away from Marsha and Ryan the source of his renewed energy?

  Hillary flipped on the blow-dryer and spent the next fifteen minutes styling Marsha’s hair. When she finished, she said, “You look like you’re in your early twenties.”

  “I can thank my parents for that. They were adamant I wear sunscreen before I went outside every day.”

  “It paid off. You’ve got beautiful skin.” Hillary stuck her arm in front of Marsha’s face. “Look, I’m covered in freckles and scaly red patches.”

  After paying for her trim, Marsha hugged Hillary. “Thanks for being such a good listener.”

  “All part of the job, honey.”

  If only Hillary could do more than listen and fix Marsha’s aching heart.

  * * *

  “HEY, WILL,” BEN SAID, Friday morning at the church. “Take tomorrow off.”

  Seven days had passed after Ryan had spent the weekend at the farm. Every night since then Will had practiced his reading exercises and had written his progress in a journal. His homework had kept his mind off how much he missed Marsha. “I thought we were installing the plumbing.”