Grinder (Seattle Sharks Book 1)

by Samantha Whiskey

  The wife on the left cocked an eyebrow at me, crossing one leg over the other. “Who are you, again?”

  I swallowed hard, her tone was near identical to the puck-bunny parade I’d been subjected to as Lettie’s nanny. Didn’t matter to these women that I’d went to every game, supported Gage both on and off the ice, and took care of his daughter. It mattered that my ring finger was absent a huge rock. Or—because for some reason they treated bunnies better than bystanders—I wasn’t fucking him.

  Not my choice. Given the chance, I would have mounted him in the laundry room faster than the slew of women standing in line to, and I wouldn’t be rushed out of the house the next morning either. I’d just simply go back to my room and…

  Oh God. Gage was right. The stakes were incredibly high if we crossed that line as much as I wanted to. What if it went south? How could I keep living in his house, raising his daughter, and watch him return to the sex-every-night routine he had?

  “She’s just the nanny,” wife number two said, stopping my agonizing in its tracks. “Gage is still a free agent.” She winked at a pretty girl in bunny-getup, a red-head whose color definitely came from a bottle. She licked her lips, her eyes following Gage as he raced after a player on the ice.

  The flare of jealousy that burned my insides was enough to make me turn around and keep my mouth shut. I’d wanted to claim him as mine—just like I had his mouth as he pressed me against the washing machine—but I didn’t know what the hell we were doing. He’d kissed me like he wanted to put his brand on me, and damn it the man clearly already had, but his words…

  I sucked in a shaky breath, desperately wishing for some balance. It really didn’t matter what the wives or bunnies thought of me. What mattered is they didn’t spin their negative shit around Lettie. I kissed her cold cheek.

  “Want to share some hot chocolate?” I asked. She bounced up and down in my lap but the conflict in her eyes was clear as she locked on to Gage. “We’ll be really fast, I promise.”

  “Okay, let’s go quick!” She leaped to her booted feet and held my hand as we navigated down the stands.

  Less than five minutes later, armed with one medium hot chocolate and one box of gummy bears because I couldn’t resist those begging blue eyes of hers that matched her daddy’s, we took new seats farther away from the women, a few rows closer to the ice in the family section.

  We shared sips of the delicious warm liquid after it had cooled, and Lettie clapped for Gage every time he skated by. It was adorable, and I was relieved her ears were no longer subjected to any more of the gossip those women spouted worse than high school students. As much as I loved the game, and loved watching him play, I hated the cliquishness outside of it.

  “Daddy! Daddy!” Lettie giggled, shouting at the top of her lungs when Gage body-checked another player into the wall. The player spun around and swung at Gage, who dodged the attempt, and quickly landed a retaliation punch of his own.

  “McPherson! Two-minute penalty for unnecessary roughness!” The ref called out.

  Gage’s hands shot in the air, clearly not agreeing with the bullshit call, but he skated into the box regardless. He ripped his helmet off, shaking out his sweaty hair, and shot us a quick glance.

  Lettie waved so enthusiastically he couldn’t help but smile at her. Even in the midst of a pre-season opener, his first time back on the ice in an official capacity since being injured, and in the penalty box no less, the man still couldn’t resist his daughter.

  My heart swelled at the love shining through his eyes. It turned me on nearly as much as watching him dominate on the ice, skating with speeds I’d never reach, hitting men with the force of a mack truck, utilizing his sheer strength in all the right ways. I shifted in my seat, my panties practically on fire, the ache wrenching between my thighs so strong it almost hurt.

  I could almost taste him again, and the incident in the laundry room felt like the biggest tease in the history of teases.

  His eyes locked onto mine and my breath caught in my throat. They switched from the pure love and adoration for his daughter to an uncontrollable, undeniable look of want.

  My mouth watered and the air returned to my lungs as he slipped his helmet back on and darted back onto the ice. With each push of his skates, each strong glide, each opponent stopped, my ache for him amped up another degree.

  Another opponent went down, and a vision of Gage pinning me against a wall, his hands free-roaming while mine were tied, flashed in my head. Gage shredded the ice in a fast stop to quickly change directions, and the image of riding him while I took control of the man who couldn’t be contained on the ice sent warm chills racing through my core.

  A stick jabbed in just the right way at the absolute wrong time sent Gage to the ice with a sickening crack. I jumped to my feet, Lettie on my hip, as my heart stalled—all naughty fantasies evaporating. I held my breath.

  Please get up. Get up. He’d landed on his shoulder, hard.

  Oh God. What if he was hurt again? My lungs burned, my heart slamming against my ribs.

  Seven agonizing seconds later, he got up, gripping his stick and skating faster than ever to catch up to the asshole who’d pulled the move.

  He was okay.

  The relief that uncurled the tension in my chest made a light bulb click on in my brain.

  I wanted Gage. Not just on top of me or inside me...but by my side.

  I wanted him at breakfast and at nighttime. On zoo trips and club trips. I wanted all of him.

  Shit. I was falling for him.

  The same kid who’d made mud pies with me in the back of his mother’s country home. The same kid who’d pulled on my braids, and threw lizards at me just to hear me scream. The one who’d taught me how to ride a horse and who visited me every day after I’d fallen off and broken my elbow when I was twelve. He’d brought me books and Oreos.

  Holy hell. Maybe I’d been falling for him all along.

  I looked down at Lettie, my heart overflowing with the realization because I’d already possessed so much love for her I didn’t know I could fit any more in there.

  Gage skated by, lightning fast, and my stomach flipped.

  I wanted to try with him, despite the risks.

  But I’d have to convince him and convincing Gage to do anything he hadn’t already decided to do was harder than getting Lettie to eat green beans.

  Lettie’s eyes were barely open as I strapped her into her car seat after the game. Gage tossed his gear into the back of the car before coming up behind me and peeking at her. She gave him a soft smile before her eyes shut completely.

  Gage stood so close I could smell him—like the ice of the rink and the crisp clean scent of his body wash—and I turned toward him. “Played one hell of a game.

  He pressed his lips together and nodded.

  I reached up and lightly traced the muscle of his shoulder and collarbone, just above the fabric of his cotton shirt. “How does it feel?”

  He clenched his eyes shut as I added some pressure behind my fingers.

  “Good,” he said, his voice low and rough. He opened his eyes again, the blue in them on fire.

  I stepped closer to him, my chest brushing against his. “You sure? Some of those hits looked intense.”

  He sucked in a deep breath, his hand slipping around my hip and to the small of my back. The easy touch ignited sparks underneath my skin and my thighs heated up with the feel of his hard body so close.

  “I’m solid.”

  Yeah, you are. My heart raced, my realization earlier pushing me to cross the lines he’d drawn, and I moved my hand behind his neck. “Gage,” I said, my breath quickening. I’d watched the man play on the ice for hours and couldn’t stand the distance a second longer. I rose on my tiptoes, attempting to reach his lips, which he kept steady a breath away from mine.

  “Bailey,” he growled and gently nudged me away from him.

  I settled back on my feet and crossed my arms over my chest. I hadn’t mistake
n the want in his eyes or the battle he raged with himself. He wanted me, too. I knew it without a doubt. It still hurt, though, a sharp sting in the chest I didn’t know how many more times I could soothe.

  “I told you…we can’t---“

  “Tell me something, Gage,” I cut him off. “Be honest, am I being too forward for you? I assumed with your track record this would be just another day for you.”

  He pinched the bridge of his nose before glancing at Lettie still asleep in her car seat. “You know it isn’t that.”

  I sighed. “Do you not…want me?”

  His eyes snapped to mine and he advanced until I backed against the closed driver’s side door. He caged me with his arms. “Don’t think that. There is nothing I’d love more than to rip off those god forsaken tight pants you prance around the house in and worship you with my tongue until all you can do is ride my mouth.”

  Yes, just yes.

  My body responded to his words, begging me to do whatever necessary to make them the truth. I opened my mouth to speak, but he placed a finger over my lips. I lightly bit it, enjoying the way his eyes rolled back in his head.

  “Then why—”

  He jerked backward, putting a few feet between us. “You mean everything to me, Bailey. And to Lettie. What we have now would be ruined by what I would do to you. Because I’d fuck it up. That’s what I do. And the thought of hurting you like that, and crushing Lettie’s world at the same time?” He shook his head. “I won’t do it. Doesn’t matter how badly I want to hear my name on your lips, hear your breath in my ears, feel your body underneath me. The cost is too damn high.”

  I licked my lips, his words all right and all wrong at the same time. “You won’t even try. We—” I nodded toward Lettie and then back to him—“we could be great. We fit, Gage. We always have.” I stepped toward him, pushing his wet hair off his forehead with my fingers. “If you’d just trust me…trust us—”

  “I can’t.” He moved away from my touch. “Don’t you get it? You’re worth more to me than that. She’s worth more. And you both deserve better.”

  Anger flushed my skin, a fight working up in me. I sharpened my gaze on him and shook my head. “That’s crap and you know it. You’re the best for her. She adores you, hell, I’m pretty sure she wants to be you. And me?” I sucked in a breath to steady my flaring nerves. “I think you’re worth every risk.”

  He opened his mouth and closed it again before shrugging.

  I rolled my eyes. Figured. A beast on the ice who feared no one, but dangle real love and passion before the man? Scared. I seethed all the way to the passenger side and slipped into my seat as quietly as my fuming body could handle.

  Gage followed suit, sliding in behind the wheel and starting the car without a word. We drove in a charged silence and each second he didn’t speak I wanted to punch him, or kiss him, or maybe a wicked combination of both.

  By the time I’d tucked Lettie into her bed, he was already in his bedroom, door firmly, and obviously closed.

  Maybe it was Gage, or my own frustration, but for the first time since school ended, I searched for available internships at art galleries.

  And in a quiet moment of desperation, where I wondered if he’d ever have the courage to open his heart to me...I applied.

  Chapter 7

  Gage

  The lamp lit with seconds to go, and Warren threw his arms in the air in victory.

  The final buzzer sounded, and within seconds, I was crushed by my teammates as they swarmed me on the ice.

  Holy shit. We won.

  “We shut those fuckers out!” Rory yelled.

  “Hell yes!” Warren answered.

  Every cell in my body hummed with energy, and I pulled out of the huddle to skate toward the ice. My girls were sitting right next to the glass, and Lettie met my hand with her own as I held it to the barrier. “My Daddy is a badass!” She yelled, her little blue eyes dancing with excitement.

  Well, looked like I needed to talk to the guys about watching their fucking mouths around my baby girl.

  “I love you, too, Lettie,” I said, unable to keep from grinning.

  I looked up at Bailey and her thousand-watt smile blew me away. She was so beautiful with her cheeks flushed rosy from the chill in the rink, my little girl on her lap and my number on her back.

  I tossed her a wink and skated back over to shake hands with the opposing team.

  We’d started the season with a shut-out and I’d been on the starting line up.

  Sorry, Rookie.

  I patted the kid’s head as I passed him in the locker room a few minutes later. “You’re getting there, kid.”

  “Yeah. Good game, McPherson,” he begrudgingly congratulated me.

  “Damn skippy it was,” Warren said.

  “And here we go,” Rory said, nodding toward the reporters that slipped into the locker room.

  “McPherson!” the female reporter said, hopping over a pile of Rory’s gear with spiked heels.

  Damn, couldn’t I even get out of my gear before they came in? Not like reporters in the locker room bothered other guys. Hell, Denison was over there with no pants on.

  Then again, he didn’t have a kid at home, and the last thing I wanted Lettie to find on the net in ten years was a shot of her old man’s dick.

  Pants on.

  “Can I get a moment?” The blonde asked, waving her microphone with a smile.

  “Sure,” I responded and stood.

  She asked the normal questions. How was my shoulder? To what did I credit our victory? What did I have in mind for the rest of the season?

  I gave the rote answers about teamwork, the strength of my shoulder, and my optimistic outlook.

  Once she was done, I showered and dressed as quickly as possible.

  “You’re coming tonight, right?” Rory asked as we took our bags from the locker room.

  “What?”

  “Do not pull that shit,” he threatened. “It’s the first game, the first victory, and we’re going out tonight.”

  I grimaced in apology. “Man, I have Lettie.” And Bailey.

  “And a nanny. Come on, it’s tradition,” Warren countered.

  “He doesn’t want to leave the nanny,” Rory stage-whispered.

  “Shut the fuck up. What are you, twelve?”

  Rory shrugged. “Truth, man.”

  I looked up, saw my girls leaned against the wall with the other families, and my heart did a little flip at how...right that looked.

  And then I saw my mother chatting Bailey’s ear off. Lord have mercy.

  She was a little over fifty, but I swear the woman only looked forty. She had that classic, raven-haired beauty most women paid top dollar for, with a class that you couldn’t put a pricetag on. She’d also been the one to take care of me and Lettie when Helen walked out while I was still in recovery.

  “I’m not making any promises,” I said to the guys as we made our way to the girls.

  “Tell him he has to go, Mrs. M,” Warren asked, giving my mother a charming smile.

  She arched an eyebrow. “Has to go where?”

  “Hi, Mama,” I said, kissing her soft cheek at the same moment Lettie attacked my leg.

  “You played phenomenally,” Mom answered with a smile.

  “What do you think, Lettie-Lou?” I asked as I lifted Lettie into my arms. She gave me a resounding smack of a kiss on my cheek but leaned back when I tried to do the same.

  “You’ll mess my warpaint,” she said, pursing her tiny lips in a way that reminded me way too much of Bailey.

  I noted the black streaks under her eyes that had my number drawn in. “We can’t have that,” I said and growled at her neck as she giggled.

  I looked up and met Bailey’s shy smile with one of my own. Shit had been off with us this last week, more awkward than we’d ever been with each other, and I knew it was because of that kiss.

  That hot, perfect, taste of her.

  Damn, I wanted more.


  “Where is he supposed to go?” Mom asked the guys, snapping me out of my stare-fest with Bailey.

  “We always go out for drinks the night of the opener,” Warren explained.

  “Tonight is Bailey’s night off,” I countered. I never left her with random sitters, and they knew it. No Bailey, no going out. Period.

  “Well, then it’s a good thing there’s plenty of room at grandma’s,” Mom said, holding her arms out for Lettie. “What do you say, Scarlett? Want to come have a sleepover with Grammy?”

  “Yes!” She shouted, lunging out of my arms. Mom caught her easily and kissed her forehead.

  “Good!”

  “Can we watch Music movie? Please?” Lettie turned those eyes on Mom and she melted.

  “You’re still into the Sound of Music?” she asked.

  Lettie nodded seriously. “The hills are alive, Grammy.”

  I smiled as Bailey laughed, her hand lightly touching my arm. This was what family was supposed to be, sharing these moments, the happiness after a victory, the joy of watching Lettie grow.

  It was wrong to picture Bailey in that role—especially when I knew she’d inevitably leave to start her own family, her own life—but I couldn’t help it. Everything was easy, happy, and that feeling was intoxicating—addictive.

  “Then it’s settled,” Warren said, slapping me on the back. “We’ll see you later, my man.”

  We said our goodbyes and headed to the parking lot. Bailey handed over her keys to Mom since she had Lettie’s car seat and she’d driven Mom here anyway, and I kissed Lettie goodbye.

  “You be good for Grammy, okay?”

  “Always,” she answered with an impy grin.

  “I love you,” I said, as I hugged her tiny body tight and let her go.

  “Love you!” She said before running over to Bailey. “Love you, too!”

  Bailey dropped to her knees and hugged Lettie. “I love you, tons and bunches.”

  “Let’s go, kiddo,” Mom said as she buckled Lettie into her seat. The door shut with a resounding thud, and though I knew it was Mom taking her, a stab of nervousness still hit me.