Misconduct 3
Page 8
“And, I haven’t been talking to anyone from my previous lifestyle and past. That is not the life for me and I’ve totally learned my lesson. I’m not that type of woman. No, all I want to do is love my husband. I’m more than willing to do any and everything for you, baby. Whatever it takes to save us I will do. I’m willing to keep you happy if you’ll do the same for me,” I responded gazing deeply into his beautiful eyes.
“I think that we are in such a good place right now that we understand each other more. I’ve got faith that we won’t visit that ugly place again. Hell, I’ve got so much more that I want to do with you, to you…did I say to you?” Chino smirked as I laughed with him. “I mean, it’s like we’re newlyweds all over again. It’s amazing.”
“Awesome. And, I see we are wearing our wedding rings again. Very nice.” Dr. B. waved her hand at us before shooting a little wink our way.
“Yes. I truly missed having it on. It just sealed the deal to put it back on this morning.” I turned gazing deep into Chino’s baby blues.
“This ring is definitely the first step of many.” Chino leaned in pecking my lips just a touch.
“Good. Good. So have we discussed children at all?” The doc touched a nerve as our facial expressions changed dramatically and the room grew quiet.
“Um, well I think that we can revisit the issue when the time is right.” Chino replied solemnly. “What do you think babe?”
He turned to me squeezing my hand firmly. That was a question that I thought about. I had since hoped to avoid it, hoping it wouldn’t pop up on this day. I had not made up my mind about whether or not I was ready to try again with children for fear of the same thing happening again but the doc did help me come to the realization that it was not Chino’s fault that our Kenya died.
I was appreciative to her for helping me get that through my head since if she had not I would have lost the best thing in my life. Something inside of me told me to jump out of my element and go for the gold. It told me to lead with my heart me instead of my mind when I opened my mouth to answer the question.
“Well, my heart tells me that I want to have another baby. I want to have another bundle of love inside of me that is a blessing of you and I, Chino. I want to give it another shot,” My lips curled up in excitement.
“Are you serious? What about today? Do you want to try today?” He was overly eager just as I knew he would once he heard the news.
“I love you baby. So if you think we should try again, then let’s try again.”
“Starla, I don’t want to do this if you don’t think you’re ready baby. It needs to be a joint decision. Don’t just do it because you’re trying to please me. I love you and I know you love me but if we’re going to decide this we need to decide together baby. We’re a team. Remember?” He stroked my hair lovingly and I knew he meant every word.
“Yes, I remember. And, I appreciate you saying that. It means everything to me. It’s one of the reasons why I love you so much.” I bit my lip and brought my eyes up from the floor gazing deeply into his. “I’m sure, Chino. I want nothing more than to make another life with you. We’ll never forget our first but it would be nice to move forward with another.”
We hugged each other tightly never wanting to let go. At first, I thought Chino was crying into my shoulder. It would have been the first time that I had ever seen him do that. He did not even cry when our daughter passed, not at the hospital or the funeral.
It made me think he was emotionless. But, when his face came back up I realized he was smiling out of enjoyment. It was a long shot to see him cry but I was glad that he wasn’t since this was a happy moment anyway. He kissed my lips, a sweet tiny peck before returning our attention back to the doctor hand in hand.
She sat there staring back at us like she was stepping back to look at her finest creation, another job well done. I would say she could definitely pat herself on the back for this one because she truly worked a miracle here with us.
Nothing we could ever do and no amount of money would ever be gratitude enough to her. She, saved, our, lives. As soon as we turned our attention back towards the doc, Chino’s cell buzzed loudly in his pocket. He frantically struggled to silence it, while I interlocked my fingers with his ignoring it and never letting go.
“I see. Good. I was going to give you specific sexual positions for the steps but you guys looked like the type of people who needed to explore. Marriage is about trust and honesty and experimenting. You all are now bonded for life and there is nothing better than living your lives like you are best friends. Don’t ever be afraid to explore each other’s bodies and never lose sight of the reasons why you married each other in the first place. So even if you both have flaws, your love is powerful enough to overlook those flaws. For better or worse truly means just that. Hold on to these principles you have learned throughout this month whenever you feel you’re falling off the wagon. Remember it is communication first, understanding second, and forgiveness last. The degree of love and affection that you share will intensify immeasurably. Pay my receptionist for this last session and I hope to never see you guys again. Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Jacobs! You have just graduated Marriage Counseling and Sex Therapy for Married Couples.”
AUTHOR’S NOTE
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