Shiftr: Swipe Left for Love

by Ariana Hawkes

  When they were unpacked, they found out where the nearest supermarket was and went over there to stock their fridge.

  When they got back, there was a truck outside their cabin. A curvy woman with caramel-toned skin, a black, elfin crop and big black eyes climbed out of the driver seat as they pulled up.

  “Hi, I’m Lauren,” she said in a warm tone, and they introduced themselves.

  “Thank you so much for getting this cabin ready for us,” Raven said. “It’s so much more than I was expecting.” Lauren waved her hand dismissively.

  “Oh, it was nothing. The cabin’s been empty for a long time, and we couldn’t have you girls living in a shed. That’s no way to start a new life in Hope Valley.”

  “Do you want to come in and have coffee with us?” Caitlyn said.

  “Oh, thanks, but I’ve got this one asleep here,” Lauren indicated the back seat of the car, where a little girl was fast asleep in a child seat. “Her name’s Willow and she’s two years old, and a little terror right now. I just stopped by to check that you girls had managed to get inside and to tell you where the supermarket is. But it looks like you’ve got it all figured out?”

  “Oh, yeah. The wonders of the Internet,” Raven said with a grin.

  “Would you like to come over for dinner tonight though? I only live a few minutes away.”

  “That would be lovely. If we’re not troubling you?” Raven said, worried about how much Lauren was putting herself out for two people that she didn’t know.

  “Not at all. My husband is away at the moment, so I’d be very glad of the company,” Lauren said. “See you at 7.30?” She gave them the directions and left them with a cheery wave.

  “She’s lovely isn’t she?” Caitlyn said as she drove off.

  “Yeah, she’s amazing. We’re so lucky to have her looking out for us,” Raven replied happily. In that instant she dared imagine a happy future for herself in Hope Valley.

  A few hours later, as dusk was falling, making it difficult to see the track among the trees, Raven and Caitlyn drove over to Lauren’s place. It was a very elaborate cabin, made from a cherry-colored wood, with gables and a gingerbread trim. It had two stories and a wrap-around porch. A spicy, tomatoey smell wafted out of the door as Lauren opened it to greet them.

  Willow was hurtling around the house, evidently rejuvenated by her afternoon nap, but she stopped to greet them, surprising Raven by giving her a fierce hug.

  “She’s always been very affectionate,” Lauren said, looking at her daughter fondly. “And energetic!” she added as Willow took off again. “She took her first step when she was eleven months old, and it’s been non-stop ever since!”

  “She’s adorable,” Raven said, looking at the huge-eyed little girl with a flicker of envy. She was so broody, it was unreal. She’d always wanted kids, but had pushed the thought to the back of her mind, thinking that she had enough trouble finding a man, never mind creating a family. But in the past few weeks, the urge to have a baby had risen up in her, from nowhere, and she couldn’t stop thinking about it.

  Lauren opened the bottle of wine that they’d brought and poured out three glasses.

  “Thank goodness I’m not breastfeeding any more,” she said. “I need to relax a little after spending a whole day chasing around after this one.”

  Raven took a sip of her wine, but she didn’t like the taste. Weird. The same thing had happened when they’d had beers a couple of days earlier. She’d swallowed a couple of mouthfuls of beer, but it had tasted sour and she’d ended up leaving it.

  While they were chatting, there was a knock on the door.

  “It’s open!” Lauren hollered. A very attractive man walked in, with golden brown hair and eyes almost the same shade. He was tall and well built, and had a commanding presence. Raven thought there was something feline about the way he moved, like a graceful lion or tiger.

  “Hey,” he said with a grin.

  “Hey, Magnus. This is Raven and Caitlyn. They’ve just moved to Hope Valley.”

  “Great to meet you.” He shook hands with them with a confident smile.

  “Do you need something, Magnus, or is this just a social call?”

  “Well, both. It’s lovely to see you, as always. And I was wondering if I could borrow a cast iron pan? I’m cooking dinner for Andrea tonight, and I can’t find one anywhere.” Lauren flashed him an indulgent look and dug one out of the back of her cupboard.

  “Clean it with salt as soon as you’re done with it,” she told him sternly.

  “Yes, ma’am,” he replied.

  “He’s hot,” Raven said when he’d left.

  “He looks like a fashion model,” Caitlyn agreed.

  “Hope Valley is kind of known for its good-looking guys,” Lauren said, and a secret smile flashed across her face, as if a pleasant idea had just popped into her head. Maybe it’s time I stopped thinking about Timo, and see what else Hope Valley has to offer, Raven thought to herself.

  The food was ready soon, and Lauren ladled out steaming bowls of chicken pasta arrabiata.

  “I hope you don’t mind having a pasta dish. It’s just that Connor is such a meat freak that we end up having roast or barbecued meat every day, and when he went away, I felt like I needed to detox,” Lauren said.

  “No, pasta is amazing,” Raven said. And it was – rich, delicious and very filling.

  “What does your husband do?” Caitlyn asked.

  “He’s a carpenter and a volunteer firefighter for the Hope Valley fire service. A lot of the guys around here do the same kind of thing.”

  “Sounds like there’s a real community going on here.” Lauren nodded.

  “There is. Hope Valley is a tight community, but there’s also an additional bunch of us out here in the national park. We hang out a lot and look after each other’s kids. I’m sure you’ll meet everybody in the next couple of weeks, and then you’ll be in and out of each other’s houses all the time.”

  After dinner, Lauren put Willow to bed, then they settled into her comfy leather couches and chatted for a couple of hours, until they figured that she was tired.

  “I can pick you up tomorrow morning and take you to meet Lori at her store, if you want?” Lauren suggested as they got up to leave.

  “That’d be great,” Raven replied. “Caitlyn is planning on driving around town all day looking for work, so I’d appreciate the ride, and the personal introduction.”

  “Great. I’ll look out for some job vacancies for you as well, Caitlyn. What line of work are you in?”

  “Well. I’ve been working in a hardware store ever since I left school, but to say I’m sick of it would be an understatement,” Caitlyn said with a laugh. Lauren shrugged.

  “New town, new career. What are you interested in doing?” Caitlyn blushed.

  “You know, no-one’s asked me a question like that since I was in junior high, and the careers advisor advised me not to set my sights too high.” Lauren frowned, and her eyes narrowed with sympathy.

  “That’s terrible.”

  “That’s what happens in nowhere-ville.”

  “What are your passions though? What do you care about?”

  “I’ve always been interested in the environment. I think I’d like to work on an organic farm maybe, or in some kind of eco business.” Lauren put a finger on her lip, thinking.

  “For starters, you could try the organic supermarket. They might have roles in all kinds of things, like buying products or marketing.” Caitlyn nodded.

  “That would be great.”

  “And Dalton, one of the guys who lives around here has been looking for an assistant in his organic vegetable business. He’s away right now, but I’ll introduce you when he gets back?”

  “That would be amazing too.”

  “Ok, we’d better leave you in peace,” Raven said. “But I’ll see you at 10 tomorrow? And thank you so much for everything.” Lauren enveloped each of them in a warm hug and said goodnight to them.

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nbsp; “It’s weird, but I feel like I’m home,” Raven said as they drove back, very slowly, along the narrow track in the pitch darkness.

  “I know exactly what you mean,” Caitlyn said with a contented sigh.

  *

  Raven slept deeply that night. There turned out to be two single beds concealed beneath the comforter, and an extra comforter in the wardrobe, so Raven didn’t have to endure Caitlyn’s legendary thrashing about in the bed all night long. But when she woke up, the queasiness that had eased off over the last couple of days was back with a vengeance. She got up early and went to sit outside, hoping that the fresh air would make her feel better, but it was relentless, like sea sickness. Every time she thought it had gone, another wave would roll across her stomach, leaving her weak and shaky. Somehow, she managed to get herself through showering and dressing, and she waited for Lauren to arrive, cursing her bad luck.

  “Morning, hon,” Lauren called chirpily as she arrived in her truck. Then her dark eyes widened as she saw Raven’s face. “Hey, are you ok?” she hurried over and sat on the edge of the porch next to her.

  “Yeah, I will be in a moment,” Raven said, wiping her hand across her forehead. It was damp and clammy, and her stomach churned again. Then it knotted and lurched and she leapt off the porch and ran into the bushes.

  Lauren reached for her hand as she returned and helped her to sit down, then looked into her eyes.

  “Honey, what’s wrong? Do you know why you’re sick?” she said. Raven shook her head miserably. Why do I have to get sick now, when I need to go to a job interview, for the first job I’ve ever wanted in my life? It was so typical, she thought. “Is it the first time it’s happened?” Raven shook her head again.

  “No. It’s been like this nearly every day for a few weeks now. But only in the mornings.”

  “How long has it been since your last period?” Raven stared into space.

  “I don’t know. A while I guess. I think I might have missed one.” She thought of her old bedroom, where she kept her tampons, and remembered that she hadn’t replenished them for a while. “Six weeks maybe.”

  “And, I don’t want to be intrusive, but, are your boobs any different? Like bigger, or more tender?” Raven passed her hand over them. They felt bruised somehow. She’d noticed that recently but hadn’t paid much attention to it.

  “Yeah, they are actually.”

  “Raven, is there any chance that you could be pregnant?” Lauren said very gently. Immediately, Raven’s eyes opened very wide and her jaw slackened.

  “Oh my god,” she whispered. “I had a one-night stand a while ago. When I was last in Hope Valley actually. But no. I couldn’t be.”

  “Let’s not freak out just yet.” Lauren squeezed her hand tight. “We’ve got a community doctor here. He’s very good and gentle. Let me give him a call and see if he’s nearby.” Raven nodded, too shocked to speak. Caitlyn sat down behind her and squeezed her other hand.

  Lauren took her phone out and spoke for a few seconds.

  “Dr Harley is on his way. He’ll be here in ten minutes,” she said. Raven sat quietly, while Lauren and Caitlyn said reassuring things to her. She couldn’t be pregnant. She just couldn’t be. They hadn’t used a condom, but Timo hadn’t come inside her. She laughed to herself. At the time, she’d been grateful, as she’d been so overwhelmed with the amazing sex they’d been having that she hadn’t thought about protection.

  The minutes ticked by slowly, but at last a European sports car pulled up behind Lauren’s truck, and a tall, strikingly handsome man climbed out of the bucket seat and walked toward them carrying a doctor’s bag.

  “Hello, Raven, I’m Doctor Harley,” he said with a kind smile, holding his hand out to her. She took it, aware how clammy her own hand was.

  “How are you feeling?” he said.

  “I’ve felt better,” she replied with a wry smile.

  “Lauren tells me that you’ve missed a period, and you’ve been having a couple of other symptoms, so I suggest that we get you to do a pregnancy test right now, and then I’ll take a sample to test in the lab as well,” he said. She nodded. He took two test kits out of his bag and passed them to her.

  “Here’s two to be sure. Just take them to the bathroom and pee on the end.”

  Raven stood up shakily and went inside.

  Some minutes later, she was back, carrying both sticks, her hands trembling so badly that they were almost a blur. Dr Harley took them and held them out, and the three women held their breath. A faint pink line appeared on each one at exactly the same time. Raven screamed and clapped a hand over her mouth.

  “Is that a happy scream?” Caitlyn asked.

  “I – I don’t know,” she stuttered and promptly burst into tears. Caitlyn rubbed her back soothingly.

  “Just take your time, hon. It’s going to be a big shock right now. You’ll need a while to get used to the idea.”

  “Raven, I’d like to get a blood sample. These tests are extremely accurate these days, but I like to go for the belt-and-braces approach, especially if the pregnancy is a surprise. Is that ok?” Dr Harley said. Raven nodded, and he prepared a syringe and a band. When he was done, he packed the test tube away and handed her a business card. “I’m very much an ‘on-call’ doctor. I don’t have an office. So, when you’ve had time to process this, please give me a call and I’ll come and see you and we can discuss prenatal care. Is that ok?” Raven nodded again, her eyes a little glazed.

  “Take care, and I’ll see you ladies later,” Doctor Harley called, waving as he left.

  “See you soon, Harley, and thank you!” Lauren shouted back.

  As soon as he’d gone, Caitlyn wrapped her arms around Raven again, and let her cry until she was done. She blew her nose noisily.

  “Oh god, I was supposed to be meeting Lori, and I’m so late!” she said in a sudden panic.

  “It’s fine. I already called her to postpone. You can go see her tomorrow afternoon instead. She’s a sweetheart, so she won’t mind at all. Just focus on yourself for now.

  “I’ll go make some tea,” Caitlyn said, going into the cabin.

  “What are your initial thoughts, Raven?” Lauren said softly. Raven blew out a loud breath.

  “I don’t know. I’ve wanted a baby so bad, especially recently. But, as a single mother? This isn’t what I’ve hoped for myself at all.”

  “Sometimes life can throw you a curve ball,” Lauren said thoughtfully. “So, you said you had a one-night stand, right?” Raven nodded. “Are you still in contact with him?”

  “No. It was strictly a one-off. I wouldn’t even want him to know that he’s got me pregnant,” she said firmly.

  “But, I’m sure he was a nice guy for you to have wanted to be with him?”

  “Yeah, he was. But it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to look for him.”

  “Why’s that? How terrible could it be?” Raven covered her mouth, overwhelmed with embarrassment at her own stupidity. I had sex with a stripper. Without protection, for fuck’s sake, and now I’ve got myself pregnant. What kind of idiot am I?

  “Lauren, I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you. It was a mistake, a big mistake, that I never would’ve made if I hadn’t been drunk. I’m really ashamed of myself. I think I’d rather believe that this was an immaculate conception.”

  “Ok, I won’t pressure you. You can change your mind in the future though, especially as you’ll be entitled to child support.”

  Caitlyn came out with three cups of tea.

  “I thought this might settle your stomach,” she said. Raven took the cup, smiling weakly at her two friends. However crazy things were right now, she was super grateful that she wasn’t alone. Without thinking, she laid her hand on her stomach. All she could feel was the soft flesh of her belly. How long before she’d start to feel something kicking against her hand?

  “Raven, it’s really important that you take your time and do what’s right for you,” Lauren said, laying her hand on Raven’
s knee. “There’s a lot of babies in the national forest, and a few pregnant ladies too, but if now’s not the right time for you, then you shouldn’t feel pressured. It’s your body.”

  “No, I’m keeping it,” Raven said immediately. “It’s my baby. I can’t deny that the timing’s pretty terrible, and I wish I was in a happy marriage. But this is what I want.” As she spoke the words, she knew that they were absolutely true.

  “Well, we’d better start building a nursery back there,” Caitlyn said, nodding her head toward the cabin, and everyone laughed.

  “I hope by the time the baby comes, we’ll be able to afford a bigger apartment,” Raven said. “That’s if you want to live with a neurotic first-time mom.”

  “Hey, I wouldn’t miss it,” Caitlin replied.

  “So, I can work for seven or eight months, right?”

  “Sure. It depends on a few things, but I didn’t quit work until Willow was about ready to come out,” Lauren said. “And the great thing about living here is that the living cost is real low, and there’s such a strong support network that you don’t need to kill yourself working crazy hours either.”

  Raven gazed up at the flawless blue sky and the bright green leaves of the trees. “This isn’t so bad, I guess,” she said.

  *

  Raven spent the rest of the day in a daze. She told Caitlyn that she wouldn’t mind some time to herself to think, as she knew that Caitlyn was eager to go out and look for work. Caitlyn had always had a job, since they were fourteen years old. However crappy it was, she’d never been out of work once. After checking that Raven was really okay, she zipped off in her car, full of enthusiasm.

  Once Raven was alone she went for a long walk in the forest, wandering aimlessly, with only the GPS on her phone to let her know where she was. The forest was very dense in places, almost blocking out the light, and she loved the way that it was cool and shady, but from time to time, she’d step out into patches of sunlight and be bathed in a golden glow for a fleeting moment. It was a lovely place. She imagined herself running through leaves, chasing a little girl or boy, shrieking in delight, and her heart filled with love for her unborn child. Timo kept popping into her mind too. She felt so ambivalent toward him. He was the father of her child. And she had felt a connection between them, in the midst of the amazing sex they’d had. But he was still a stripper and she felt seedy at having slept with a guy who probably did that kind of thing all the time. She wouldn’t contact him ever. She didn’t want him to be involved. And if he’d want to visit the child, it would be too painful to keep seeing him and wishing that things were different. No; she was going to do this on her own, with the help of the good friends that she was so lucky to have.