Chasing Shadows

by Rebbeca Stoddard

  Alexandier turned the engine off, startling me out of my thoughts. I quickly took in our surroundings and thought we were in an odd place to be meeting a psychic. We were parked on a gravel lot, and there were no signs anywhere explaining where we were. Various trails wound off in different directions through a wooded area. It felt like we were at a state park, not at someone’s place of business or home. I scanned the tree line, looking for any hint of the psychic, and Alexandier did the same. His eyes shot to one of the trailheads in the forest, and I turned to see what he was staring at. A lady had stopped just at the beginning of the trail.

  She was stunning. Long raven-black hair framed her face and figure beautifully, her skin was tan with red undertones, and her dress was long, billowy, and white. As she walked toward us, I noticed her ballerina-like grace. I was a little jealous of her elegance as I opened the door and stumbled awkwardly out of the jeep.

  “AubrieAnna, I see you have finally come for answers. It has been a long time since I have seen you physically. Did you know that your spirit cries the loudest at night, begging to be set free and to learn the secrets of its past? I will tell you all of this, and whatever else you want to know. But first, let’s get to my home; I sense it will rain soon.” Her voice held a hint of an accent that I couldn’t quite place.

  Together we walked down a winding path for five minutes until we reached a clearing in the woods; it was breathtaking. In the center was a large brick home surrounded by rosebushes and herbs, and various species of birds flew to and from birds’ nests in the trees. On the right side of the house there was a bubbling river that called to deer, birds, rabbits, and other wildlife. The sun shone through the canopy of the leaves, giving the area a holy look. The smell of all the herbs and flowers was heavenly and perfectly blended together. It made me feel at peace. Alexandier coughed to get my attention; he and the woman were waiting at the door. I walked quickly, not wanting to make them wait any longer.

  Inside, the house was cool and smelled of honeysuckle and sweet oranges. The floor was a pale marble that shimmered in the light. When we entered a small sitting room, the psychic took a seat and gestured for us to do the same. We sat in the two remaining wicker chairs and tried to make ourselves comfortable. Alexandier was far from it. I could tell he was on edge. His eyes were dodging back and forth, always searching the corners for some secret monster to jump out. No one could blame him. Crystals hung from the ceiling, twinkling as they turned, casting eerie shadows and delicate rainbows. The walls were painted burgundy, and the room was lit by tall, slim white candles along with the remaining sun shining through the floor-to-ceiling windows. A sudden clap of thunder made me jump out of my skin, and the room became more mystical than before. Shadows danced fervently, telling a story as they swayed gracefully, moving from partner to partner, and they laughed as if it were a joyous occasion. I was going crazy, shadows couldn’t laugh; they don’t even talk. I shook my head to push the images out of my mind. I was here for a serious reason—to find out the truth.

  “The fae make themselves small and dance in thunderstorms. They believe no one will notice, but people with power do. People like you and me. We see what others cannot; we sense danger, and even see the forbidden future.” As the psychic talked, her eyes glazed over as if she wasn’t fully with us anymore. While she paused and stared off, I finally scrutinized her face. It was stunning. She had deep laugh lines and crow’s-feet that showed off her thin lips and framed her beautiful almond-shaped eyes. Everything about her facial features screamed strength and untold stories of a rough life. Her head cocked to one side, and she blurted out, “Clamora.”

  “Clamora? Is that supposed to explain everything?” Alexandier was a little frustrated. I understood why. She was being vague, and it was exhausting.

  “It is my name. I apologize for being vague. Since I’m a psychic, I see all that I am attuned to. I hear nature cry when it is in pain, souls when they need help, even little things that you do not know of, yet. But in time I plan to teach you. If you let me, that is.”

  I shrugged. “Maybe. It depends on everything that happens today. I don’t know if I really believe all of this, so start explaining.”

  She took a deep breath and dove right in. “You were to be a twin, but she passed days after you were born. Her soul healed you and in doing so gave you gifts, a few more than you were originally supposed to have too. Souls are as old as time. No matter how old the body may be when it is released, the soul always knows who it is and where it came from in every life. You are AubrieAnna in this lifetime but were someone else in another. She, your twin, has always been your twin. It is always told in legends that twins born in one lifetime will always be twins in another. When her body died, her soul remembered everything and gave you what you needed to succeed in this life. If she hadn’t, you would have died long ago.

  “You were sickly, and you always were. In past lives your sister always gave you what she could, but you always died. This time, she healed you. If you choose to let your body die, the next time you are born you will have the same strength and gifts as you do now. Never again will you be sickly.

  “The first few gifts that you ever noticed were the physical ones, like strength, speed, quick healing, incredible eyesight, amazing hearing, and frequent dizziness that leads to déjà vu. After you noticed these, you began to have dreams that always came true. You also noticed that flowers, trees, and other vegetation around you flourished. And once you leave here, you will feel empty, lost, confused, dizzy, and have a headache. You may already be feeling some of those. These are the beginning stages of a change that will confuse you. The process will begin tomorrow, when your eyes will ache, as will your jaw and muscles. That will be the first of many scary days ahead of you. This is all I am allowed to tell you at the moment. I promise I can help you through the entire change, and I will also help train you.

  “I can see by the look in your eyes that you are scared to believe me, and also scared not to trust me. Here is my number. You may call whenever you need me or my help.” Clamora wrote her number on a piece of paper and placed it in my palm. She scanned the room, pausing to look at various crystals, stood up, grabbed one the length of a dollar and the width of a pencil, and handed it to me. When I looked at her questioningly, she said, “It will protect you. Please take it?”

  I took the crystal. It was warm against my palm. As I examined the crystal, it began to glow a vibrant green. I watched in amazement as the color started to pulse and fade from green to pink. The light show ended just as quickly as it had started. I looked at Clamora and opened my mouth to speak when she pushed us out of the room and to the door.

  “You must go, quickly. If you do not, you put yourself and your brother in danger. Take the path that we came on; it will feel longer and will take you a different way. Do not fret; it is magicked to do so. It will take you back to your vehicle. When you leave, don’t turn your lights on until you are facing away from the woods. Now go!” She opened the door and shooed us out.

  We jogged the entire path to the jeep, and when we reached it, we followed Clamora’s instructions. Neither of us said anything on the hour-long ride to the cabin, which was okay with me. I wanted to figure out if I really trusted what she had said. Every word described the situation perfectly. I thought back to the first time I had ever asked my mom about why I was different from everyone in our family and why the kids in school thought I was weird. All she asked was why I wanted to know, and when I explained, she simply shook her head and said, “AubrieAnna Sailour, you are wise beyond your years and a beautiful wonder to us all. Everyone loves you. That is all that matters.” I had nodded and walked away. I was always curious about my differences. Now I understood. I decided right then that I would trust Clamora and accept her help going through this process, whatever it would be.

  ***

  The guttural sound of the jeep’s engine shutting off scared me awake. It took me a moment to groggily climb out. My brother steadied me as
I stumbled and helped me to my room. After peeling off my clothes, I climbed into bed and stared at the glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling. My head spun and ached like a thousand knives were tearing through my skull. I was exhausted and wanted nothing more than sleep. Giving up on any semblance of rest, I turned on the bedside lamp and searched for some ibuprofen. I swallowed two and chased them down with stale water from the night before. Satisfied that the dosage would help my headache disappear, I crawled back into bed, turned off the lamp, and looked at the alarm clock; it was ten o’clock. Most of the day had been spent driving and finding out what was going on with me. I hadn’t learned too much, though. Clamora had been vague and refused to say much about what was ahead of me.

  A gentle knock on my door startled me, but before I could grant the intruder entrance, he peeked in. It was Alexandier. In the dim light I could see his worry. He had been running his hands through his golden hair, making it stick out in every direction. I sat up and turned on the lamp. He made his way to my bed and sat down. My beloved brother just stared at me for a moment, opening his mouth as if to speak a few times but saying nothing. This was the first time Alexandier had ever been extraordinarily uncomfortable around me, at least the first time that I had ever noticed. Minutes passed in complete silence before he finally spoke. His voice was merely a whisper: “AubrieAnna, you know I’ve always believed you were special. When we played together when we were younger, you always amazed me. You never really cried, and when you did, it was because I got hurt. I . . . I suppose hearing everything that we heard today has just made you that much more special and amazing. I’m glad you’re my sister. But I’m a little scared. Not of you, but of what you may be able to do. It’s intimidating. It’s awesome and exciting, but extremely intimidating.” He looked down at his hands and sighed.

  “Zany, oh Zany . . . You will always be my hero, no matter what Clamora said about me. Please, don’t be scared. I promise I won’t let anything or anyone hurt you. Please, don’t be scared . . . ” My words hung heavily in the air between us. Part of me wanted to hide from him and everyone else, but I couldn’t. I had to stay strong and show him that there was nothing to fear. We sat there for what felt like an eternity, neither of us moving or trying to speak.

  “I love you, little sister. Always have, always will.” After he spoke, he rose off my bed and walked out into the darkened hall, leaving me alone and feeling more lost than I ever thought possible.

  I stared at the door for at least an hour, maybe more. I wasn’t keeping track of time anymore. An emptiness wouldn’t allow me to move. It felt as if I had lost my best friend. He was worried and scared of me. As soon as I felt the tears slide down my cheeks, I knew how badly Alexandier’s reaction hurt me. I reached up and aggressively wiped away the tears and decided to just lie down and let my body shut itself off for the night. After turning the bedside lamp off, I rolled onto my side and stared at the moon through my window. Silent tears continued to slide down my face, and I shut my eyes, not wanting to see anything anymore. Within minutes, sleep claimed me.

  Chapter 2

  When I woke up, the sun was blazing through my window. Dust mites fluttered and danced about in its rays. I took a deep breath and gasped in pain. My excruciating headache from the previous night was back with a vengeance. Pressing hard on both temples, I searched for the bottle of ibuprofen. I dug through drawers and bags but came up empty. The bottle was gone, and I had no idea where it was. I stumbled down the stairs and into the kitchen, and searched more fervently for the ibuprofen. After ten minutes of looking, I gave up and curled up in the fetal position on the floor with my back against the cold wood cabinets and my head resting on the cool tiles. I begged the pain to subside, but it persisted. The cool surfaces seemed to help a little. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths then sat up and felt better. With my knees hugged to my chest, I listened for sounds of anyone in the house. Silence. Then I heard it, soft at first but rapidly growing in intensity. It was a droning sound. After listening to it for a few seconds, I heard water splash and ripple, and realized it was just a boat passing by.

  ***

  I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My skin appeared paler than normal, and it glowed softly. The mossy green of my irises was now gray with flecks of gold and purple, and my veins were changing colors. I was changing. As I watched my reflection with intensity, I took note of how much better I felt. The heat from my shower had relaxed my muscles and soothed my aching head. It was well into the afternoon, and everyone was downstairs making food. The thought and smell of food made me sick to my stomach. An urge to escape into nature compelled me to stop staring at the mirror and get ready. I dried my hair, brushed my teeth, and got dressed. While I hurried out the door, I hollered at my parents, telling them where I was headed. Once safely outside, I took a deep breath and headed for the trail that led into the heart of the forest.

  The path was rocky and covered with soggy moss and twigs. A stream flowed beside it, and a fallen-tree bridge intersected the path a few yards in. As carefully as possible, I climbed the nature-made bridge and crossed the stream without getting my shoes wet. I walked for a few more minutes until I came to an oak tree that stood in the center of a small clearing. Wild roses grew there, along with daisies, tulips, honeysuckle, and daffodils. The range of colors and smells was enticing in the most wonderful way. I looked at my surrounding and took in the sound of the stream, birds, frogs, and little squeaks from field mice. The sun was shining in a heavenly ring around the oak tree. As I headed toward its familiar shade, I saw the unforgettable hole in the center.

  The oak tree reminded me of myself and life. I had a gaping hole somewhere in the center of my soul, yet I grew around it, never letting it cripple me. Life is the same way: holes are created by heartache and death, yet we still carry on. Everything around me carried on, just like this tree. Somehow it had made it through a disaster that should have killed it or made it difficult to grow and produce leaves, but it persevered. Now, every spring and summer giant green leaves filled its branches and gave shade to those in need.

  I sat down with my back pressed against the cool bark. The rough texture bit into my shoulders and soothed the aching muscles there. It wasn’t long before I relaxed and took a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill my lungs. Dragging my hands through my hair, I looked up and thought about what possible changes I was going through when something soft fell on my lap. I looked down to see a rosebud on my thigh. After I picked it up, I looked around to see where it might have come from. All the rosebushes were a few feet away, and my mind started playing back the word powerful. I curiously looked over at the flowers and focused on the honeysuckle. I willed it to come to me. When that didn’t work, I asked it to come to me, and finally I begged. A few hours passed before I gave up trying. Stuffing the rosebud in my pocket, I stood up and slowly made my way back to the cabin in disappointment.

  The smell of a campfire on the back patio called to me as I entered the cabin. As I reached the fire, I saw my parents and my siblings roasting marshmallows. My seat was empty and in the perfect spot for me. I sat down and watched the flames lick the air and dance excitedly against the wooden logs. Within minutes, I saw what looked like small elfin creatures. They quickly disappeared, but I could still hear their bouts of laughter coming from the fire. Minutes dragged by as I stared into the fire, testing my sanity; they never came back. Once I tore my gaze away from the fire, pain snapped through my head. I tried to stand up and walk to my room, but I stumbled and my dad caught me before I fell into the fire.

  He helped me to my room and made sure I got into bed without falling down the stairs. Grabbing my glass, he went downstairs and came back with water, two horse pills, and a smaller one. When I gave him a questioning look he said, “The small one will help you sleep. And the two giant ones will get rid of the headache. Take them, lie down, and rest. You need it. Love you, and sleep tight.”

  “Don’t let the bed bugs bite.” We both had a small l
augh at my reply. “I love you, too, Dad. Thank you.”

  He smiled and closed the door softly behind him. I took the combination of pills and peeled my shorts, shoes, and socks off. Then I lay down and closed my eyes, praying the medicine would take the pain away. They worked, because my headache went away, but I was left with a numb feeling throughout my body. My mind started getting fuzzy and my thoughts slipped away. Sleep ambushed me, and before I knew it, I was swept away into my dreams.

  He was making that defiant face, the one I loved so much. I took a seat on the stairs in the library and looked at him. His eyes were like emeralds with yellow and purple flecks of color, his nose hinted at European and Native American bloodlines, and his strong jaw led to high cheekbones, deep-set eyes, and dark eyebrows. His hair was so brown that it looked black in most lighting. Sighing in defeat, I looked at him and nodded my head once to agree to his terms. Letting my head fall back, I peeked at him one more time before completely ignoring him. Boisterous laughter filled the room and echoed off the many bookshelves. My heart skipped a beat, paused, and then went into overdrive. When I looked to see what he was laughing at, he was gone. Strong arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me off the stairs, against him. He was trying to be gentle. After all, he was immortal and I was not. Nuzzling my neck, he waited patiently for me turn around and kiss his wonderfully full lips. But I wasn’t going to give in so easily this time, not without making him chase me first.

  My eyes fluttered open to the sun warming my body. At some point in the night I had kicked off my comforter then pulled the sheets so close that they were stuck to my body with sweat. I stumbled out of bed and looked in the mirror. My cheeks were rosy with warmth, and my hair was a disaster. Deciding I needed a quick shower before showing my face to anyone, I walked into the bathroom and turned on the hot water. It sputtered a few times before becoming a full stream. The bathroom quickly filled with steam. I stepped out of my sticky clothes and climbed into the shower. Hot water worked quickly at untightening my muscles. A few minutes passed by before I washed my hair and body. The water had turned icy cold by the time I was done, so I hurried and jumped out to wrap a towel around my body.