Chasing Shadows

by Rebbeca Stoddard

  We walked through a maze of hallways and stairs. It felt like Clamora’s house never ended. Eventually we entered an underground tunnel that seemed to go on forever. The tunnel was lit by lanterns, which cast eerie shadows on the walls. The ground beneath our feet was compacted dirt, and the walls felt like smooth rock. When I thought our underground trek was almost done, we came to a fork and Sebastian took the left one. My legs were getting tired and the muscles were screaming in pain. I knew part of it was from the achiness I’d felt when I woke up. After five minutes, we came to a wooden door that looked extremely old and terrifyingly heavy. Sebastian pulled the door open with no effort and smiled.

  A soft glow of yellow light encompassed the room, making it bright and warm. I looked down and started picking at my split ends when I saw we were in a very intimate sitting room. The walls were painted a soft blue, a cozy fireplace sat in one corner, lush black carpet blanketed the floor, and a small beige loveseat sat in the center of the room. An open doorway on the west wall led into a small kitchen. Black and white tiles covered the floor, and white walls offset stainless steel appliances. The cabinets were cherry red, and the counters were black marble flecked with silver and gold. I noticed that even though the rooms seemed small, it was a very comfortable place. Everything was scaled to size and matched perfectly. Sebastian grabbed my hand and led me through the kitchen into a small hallway. My heart thumped wildly in my chest as he continued to hold my hand, making it impossible to pay attention to anything. Trying to focus on making my heart slow and calm down was a difficult task. He stopped walking for a moment, and I heard a door creak loudly. Pulling me into the room, he sighed and released my hand.

  I gasped in amazement. The room was filled with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, and sliding ladders accompanied the shelves. Five stairs led into a small reading area that was surrounded by windows and a small brick fireplace, with books stacked precariously on small end tables. Smiling, I took a small step toward the closest bookshelf and ran my fingers along the collection that sat there. Not one dust bunny was in the room, and I realized this was probably Sebastian’s favorite room—just as it was becoming mine. “It’s wonderful, isn’t it?” Sebastian’s soft voice carried over to me and pulled me away from my thoughts.

  “It’s absolutely amazing. How did you even get this room so full of books? And I’m not just talking the newer stuff from authors now, but the classic stuff too?” I couldn’t contain the awe in my voice and the pure excitement in my chest. I felt like a small child going into a candy store after getting tons of new toys.

  “That’s a story for another day. Right now, I want to tell you a different story. Please, come sit down here with me.” His voice went soft and sweet as he looked into my eyes. He almost looked sad, so I felt compelled to obey his words.

  I sat in one of the cushioned chairs next to Sebastian and smiled softly. A few moments passed in which we just stared at each other in complete silence. His eyes burned with a passion that seemed to have been dormant for thousands of years. Suddenly, the passion was gone and he was hiding behind a mask of indifference. Then he told his story.

  “Many years ago there was a girl. Much like you, she was different from the rest of humankind. She could scare people with just a look and brighten the room with a smile. Her name was Amaryia Renea. She came from a long line of aristocrats, and her father was the most doting, concerned, and protective man anyone had ever seen. Amaryia had a twin sister named Lillyiah. People called her Lil or Lilla. Lillyiah was far fiercer; she delegated, demanded, and tortured men who wished to call her theirs. She was not one to be trifled with, and no man ever seemed to look past her beauty to what lay beyond, in her soul. Lillyiah was not a good person. Her soul may have been sweet and gentle before, but in that lifetime, it was wicked and dark. Sweet Amaryia was beautiful inside and out. And only one man saw that of her.” Sebastian had a sad, faraway look. He stared into the space around him before shaking his head and continuing his story. “Amaryia had taken a liking to him, but when the time came for him to ask her father’s permission for her hand in marriage, she fell ill.

  “Her father took the man aside and told him if he didn’t want Amaryia any longer, he understood. But the man protested and said no one else would do. He wanted her for his wife, no matter what. So her father agreed to allow the marriage proposal to go on. Months went on and Amaryia got better, and they married. Her father made a small cottage for them at the edge of the property, and they decided to have children. Amaryia had begged the man to think about what could happen if she conceived and the child was born. She had always been sickly, and her sister Lillyiah always tried to help her. He understood what would happen and told her he was going to find a doctor who could heal her. The sweet Amaryia did not know that he was of supernatural beings and he knew a healer. She told him it was okay, and he left. Amaryia cried for days while he was gone, and when he finally returned a week later, she had fallen terribly ill again. The healer pulled the man aside and said there was nothing he could do for the girl and walked away. Amaryia’s husband fell to his knees and begged for help and mercy, but it was not granted right away.

  “Amaryia fell asleep one day and never woke again. The man cursed the skies and everything else until the day of the funeral, when he found a small note in his pocket. When he read the words, he smiled with heartbreak. They were a promise that he hoped would come true in his lifetime. And it did.”

  When he finally came back to the present, Sebastian smiled at me with such conviction and shyness that it made my heart ache.

  “What did the note say?” I was scared to ask, but I had to know.

  “That is another story for another time, little AubrieAnna.” Sebastian gave me a half smile, and my heart flopped around before finally settling in its correct place.

  “I am not little. Well, not anymore anyway.” I fought the urge to stick my tongue out like a two-year-old and prayed that he wouldn’t notice my small struggle.

  “Trust me when I say that to me you are. You are young and therefore you are little, little AubrieAnna.” He smiled a smile that dared me to argue, so I stuck my tongue straight out in pure defiance. His laugh filled the room and a sense of déjà vu washed over my skin, making me shudder. Sebastian must have thought that it meant I was cold, because he got up, walked to the fireplace, and lit a small fire that heated the room quickly.

  When I finally stood, my muscles felt sore and achy, and I realized we had been sitting there just talking for hours. Sebastian looked out the window and sighed. After he stretched, he led me back through the hallway, into the kitchen, then out through the small sitting area and into the tunnels once more. The walk back to Clamora’s house seemed to take less time, and when we finally reached the door to her house my stomach let out a ferocious growl. I peeked at Sebastian to see if he noticed, and he did. He was smiling down at me and took me to the kitchen. He shuffled around in the large fridge until he came out with some sandwich ingredients. With his back turned to me, he began humming while throwing a sandwich together with a side of sliced fruit. Carefully he set a plate and some water in front of me, and I sat down on one of the four bar stools. I took a cautionary sniff of the sandwich and after deciding it was edible, I took a bite. My stomach growled again but with fervor, and I ate the sandwich faster than I should have. A few grapes rolled around on the plate and a plump raspberry came into view. Once I finished the fruit, I drank all of the water and watched as Sebastian cleaned up for me. He smiled at me and told me it was time to change the rest of the way. Fear caught in my chest, and I thought I was going to lose my lunch. I was thankful I didn’t when he promised that I would be okay.

  The room I slept in was lit by white candles. Crystals lined the doorway and windowsill, a red rose was on each corner of the bed, and a broken arrow lay on the bedside table. Clamora stood in the center of a chalk circle on the floor, and she motioned for me to lie on the bed. I complied. My body shook with fear as I stared at the ceiling. Hund
reds of what-ifs ran through my mind, and my stomach started churning with nervousness. I searched the room for Sebastian and watched as he joined Clamora in the circle, but before I could even ask about it, the first wave of excruciating pain shook my body. A claustrophobic feeling washed over me, and I had to gasp for air. Every nerve ending in my body was on fire, my muscles felt like they were being torn to pieces, and my bones felt like they were being smashed by sledgehammers. My teeth chattered as my body convulsed and my vision started going black. I knew I was going to pass out from pain or lack of oxygen. Either way, I was glad to be losing consciousness. Somewhere in the room I heard Sebastian yelling at Clamora, telling her she had to stop or I would die. Struggling, I fought against the darkness that was pulling me under. I wanted to make it through this change, I wanted to see Sebastian again, and I wanted to see what I could do when it was all over. Everything that I wanted to see and needed to do helped me hang on to the smallest bit of consciousness I had left. A small fetal noise escaped from my dry mouth as sweat rolled onto the sheets and my eyes started shaking. The pain felt like it would never end, when all of a sudden everything seemed to be stopping. My bones felt whole, my muscles strong, and my nerve endings were cooling to soft warmth. Then it all stopped. Oxygen filled my lungs, my teeth stopped chattering, and my eyesight cleared. I carefully sat up, looked down at my hands, and gasped.

  My fingertips were glowing silver, and as I moved to look more closely at them, an itchy sensation crawled in between my shoulder blades. I swung my legs over the side of the bed to go find a mirror and noticed that the crystals had turned red, the four red roses were white, and the broken arrow was whole. A bright glow from the window caught my attention, and I glared at the rising sun. Dawn had passed, and my change was complete. When I was done glaring out the window, I turned to the door and quickly escaped to the bathroom. Keeping my head down, I took three deep breaths before finally looking into the mirror. What I saw stopped my heart and breath.

  Purple irises with silver borders stared into the reflection. The veins in my neck and wrists were a mix of light silver and deep purples, my hair was still dark, but red and blue tints peeked out, and my skin was paler and more translucent. After staring at my reflection for a few minutes, the itchy sensation came back, so I pulled my hoodie up and craned my neck to see a small black symbol splayed out on my back. Swirls created multiple shapes; the longer I stared, the more I saw. There were a rose, wings, and a small crescent moon on the right side and a blazing sun on the left. I smiled at the tattoo that my change had given me. It was beautiful and unique, like me.

  A soft knock on the bathroom door startled me, and I dropped my sweater into place. Sebastian’s face peeked in just in time to see a small portion of my new addition. He smiled and said, “We all get them. Each one represents a little of the person they are on, as well as what supernatural group they belong to. They also tend to go in various spots. Very few have them where you do. And, when they do, it means something important. I don’t know what exactly. You would have to ask Clamora. May I?” He gestured to the spot where the tattoo was, and I nodded. Carefully, he lifted the back of my sweater and stared in amazement. His hand moved to touch it, but he decided not to because he stepped away. Clearing his throat, he looked down in embarrassment before finally telling me to get some rest.

  When I made it to my room, I was too excited to sleep. On the bedside table there was a cup of tea and a note that said “Drink me. You will feel much better in the afternoon.” Shrugging my shoulders, I drank the warm tea and felt a calm settle over me. I rolled over onto my side and snuggled under the blankets. Before my eyes finally closed, I noticed that all the crystals and everything else from my change had been removed. Sleep quickly claimed my tired body, and dreams came into view.

  I was lying in a large bed made of feathers, with quilts wrapped tightly around my body. Soft sobs came from my bedside. The moment I shifted, a small girl peeked at me through dark lashes. Her large brown eyes were swimming in unshed tears. She grabbed my hand and kissed it softly. There was a moment of understanding that passed between us; she wanted to help me, but we both knew that it was impossible. “Amary, please? I am begging you. Do not let go, dear sister. I still need you. After all, who will tell me if the wedding dress is horrid? You know Daddy will smile and tell me I am as beautiful as ever.” A small laugh escaped her. It was a peaceful sound. It didn’t last long, though, as she continued with her pleading. “And you know he needs you. Mr. Sebastian will be devastated if you don’t pull through this. Besides, Momma and Daddy will be heartbroken. After all, he plans to have you still! He wants you as his wife. Amaryia Renea! You listen to your sister. Listen to me, please. Oh God, please. Please, don’t leave me.” The girl started sobbing yet again. And she simply would not let up, no matter how hard I tried to placate her. It took a lot of effort not to cough while trying to calm my dear sister. When I was just about to fall asleep yet again, a man entered.

  He was medium height and was bulbous, but his face was handsome in an elderly man sort of way. With a deep sadness he looked at me and then turned icy eyes onto my sweet sister. “Lillyiah! Out, now! Amaryia does not need your tears soaking her bed again.” He scolded her in a fury, and she looked down and chewed her lip to keep from crying. After seeing how he had displeased her, he tried a softer approach. “Dinner is almost done, and your mother needs help. And I would like a few moments alone with her.” After Lillyiah scuttled out of the room, the man sat down next to me and held my hand sweetly. Silent tears shook his body. When he was able to regain his strength, he turned his familiar brown eyes on me. “Amaryia, oh my sweet daughter, I cannot begin to ask you to stay. Although that is what your mother would wish of me. I do not want my little one to be in pain. If you do decide to stay here with us, Sebastian still has my permission to marry you. He is a gentleman, a good man. The best there could possibly be for you. Every day he calls on you. He even brings you wild roses and small gifts. I hope that you make it through for your family, but more importantly, for him. I love you, my little Amaryia.” My father gently kissed my forehead and left the room quietly.

  When I woke up the pillow was wet with fresh tears. I now understood the story Sebastian had told me. Amaryia was his love. He had fought with desperation to keep her with him. Sadness came over my soul and settled in my heart. Drying my eyes, I got up from the bed, grabbed some clean clothes, and headed for the bathroom down the hall. It took a few minutes to find the towels hiding in a small closet. I made it back to the bathroom with no trouble and started the shower. The hot water loosened the tense muscles in my shoulders and relaxed my mind. As I thought back to last night and my strange dream of the past, I choked on air. Sebastian was incredibly old, and he seemed to know a lot about what I had gone through. I mentally slapped my forehead; I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t caught that earlier. Continuing my train of thought, I choked again. He had even called me little AubrieAnna! Amaryia’s father called her little Amaryia. Sebastian was using an old nickname for a lost love on me. Totally confused, I hurried through the rest of my shower.

  I was dressed in black leggings, a white shirt with a sequined skull and crossbones, a purple cardigan, and my gray fringed boots. Clamora was talking about how I needed to focus on the silver light that glowed in my fingertips and to push it outward. My forehead was scrunched as I focused, but all I was doing was making myself prematurely wrinkled. Giving up, I picked up a small rock and threw it at a nearby tree and watched as the rock splintered a small hole through the tree. A sharp pain shot through my chest, and I tried to keep from falling over. Just as I was about to ask what happened, Clamora jumped on the explanation. “That is the fairy in you, my dear. You feel what nature feels, and it feels what you feel. You can help everything around you grow. And everything around you can help you when you need it most. It will call to you at night, and it will scream when it needs you most. At first, it will be terrifying, but that is why you are here for a few more days
.” She smiled softly and said, “Why don’t we call it a night? I can see the strain in your forehead. If you were not immortal, then you would have wrinkles before next week.” We both laughed at that and walked back into the house.

  Clamora opened the door for me, and I walked straight into someone’s chest. As I nervously backed up with my head down and started blabbering apologies, a small laugh escaped the person, and I realized it was Sebastian. He moved over to let me through and sobered when he saw my face. Not wanting to talk to him anymore, I stalked off to get some food and water. Frustration poured off me in waves as I struggled to find the kitchen. When I found myself by the front door, I peered into the room where Clamora had first talked with me and a sense of peace washed over me. Drawn in by the atmosphere of the room, I sat down in one of the chairs and relaxed. A small girl appeared by the door and skipped in to greet me, but she halted when she noticed my sour mood. Sitting down in a chair next me, she had a look of sympathy on her face. I looked at her and noticed she had wavy blonde hair, with large brown eyes and a soft, rounded face. She looked like she was no more than fifteen years old and about five feet tall. Her pale skin was accentuated by a pale blue dress that reached her knees and was short sleeved. I tore my attention back to her face and smiled softly. As she returned the smile, a small dimple came into view on her right cheek. “You are too pretty to be sad.” A small sweet voice came from the girl.

  “Huh?” It took me a moment to realize that she was talking about my mood. “I’m not sad. Just frustrated, I suppose.”

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Her voice was tinted with concern.

  “No offense, but I don’t know you. And I’m sure you wouldn’t want to hear it anyway.” I tried getting her to ignore my mood, but it didn’t work.