Alone

by Prunty, Mercedes

  “Even if I was to settle down with her it doesn’t mean there wouldn’t be room for you too, your my family”, he replied.

  “Yes it does, because I love you”, she said.

  “I love you too sis but you can’t do this”, he said.

  “Not as a brother Callum, I love you more, deeper than that. I want you to love me how you love her. I want me and you to settle down and have children together”.

  The silence then took hold as it sunk in why Amanda really hated me because she love her brother in a way she shouldn’t and because he liked someone else it was driving her crazy and with her mind already shredded with what had happened over the past couple of years she was a broken, confused mess but she was a mess who hated me and wanted me dead.

  “Amanda that’s just wrong, why would you say that?” he sounded so repulsed by what she said.

  “So what you don’t feel the same way?” she asked quietly.

  “No its wrong, its dirty and disgusting I could never love you that way. I love you as my family and that’s that”, he sighed but he could see there was no reasoning with her, her mind was gone, “Why Amanda why?”

  “Because I can’t have anyone else love me or touch me. You have been the only man to ever love me and treat me right. You never abused me or purposely hurt me in anyway. I can’t let anyone else love me, only you, I need you”, she snapped.

  Suddenly it all made sense, Amanda had been abused by the big guns, by Hugh. He had twisted her mind and made her hate all men and the thought of being with another man disgusted her but her brother, her protector, the only one who ever done right by her was the love of her life. She had fallen for Callum with feelings she should only have felt for another man but she had forced her heart not to fall for anyone but him.

  “Amanda I’m so sorry what happened to you, what they done to you. If I could have changed it I would”.

  “But?”

  “But I can’t love you like I love Stacie, it’s a different love. I’m attracted to her in a different way, but with you I love you as my sister, as my family, my blood. Nothing more and nothing less”, he said calmly trying to reach out to her.

  “Well if that’s the way you really feel then brother I guess you will have to go too”, she said bluntly, you could hear the heartbreak in her voice but it was not because she knew she wanted to kill her own flesh and blood it was because that flesh and blood didn’t want her the way she wanted them.

  “Don’t do this Amanda”, he pleaded, “We can still get along it doesn’t have to end this way, we can make a fresh start in London all three of us”.

  “Yes it does, it has to end like this”.

  I could feel the static electric feeling run through my veins as I knew what was coming, as she raised the grenade towards her own brother and towards myself and Monique I could feel the scream of commands escape my lips. The scream was an order and before I knew what was happening I had demanded the remaining Crushers to attack her. They came running silently from their shadowy hiding places, their feet gliding over the ground like they were made of air, they had hidden themselves for safety until I accepted I needed them. And in my mind I needed them now, a swarm of them exploded out from the coming darkness, their howls and screams echoed mine as they jumped onto her and tore her limb from limb just as her grenade took aim but her fingers were already broken before she could pull the clip from it. Her body lifeless and dead before she hit the ground.

  “STACIE! NO STOP IT, STOP THEM!” I heard him shouting at me but I couldn’t stop them, I felt the power flush through me, the power to control a small army and I didn’t want to stop. Bullets once again lit up the night air as Callum took to trying to save his sister.

  “Stacie?”

  That confused voice was Monique’s and I felt her hand on me and that was all I needed was the touch of a human, a friend to bring me back to the land of the norm back to reality. I snapped out of what I had done, lost the connection I held with the Crushers.

  “Stacie what the fuck just happened?” she spoke softly.

  But I just stared at what I had just caused.

  “Stacie are you still in there?” she asked me.

  I nodded, I knew it was me still in my head but there was another voice inside with me, a voice telling me to run away to be with my clan, to look after and rule them but it was a faint voice. A voice I didn’t want to listen to now, how could I be in charge of these things? I was still human right? I was not their Alpha. Then I heard them the loud uncontrollable sobs of a tormented soul and I knew that soul was Callum’s.

  “What did you do?” he whispered to me.

  “She was going to kill you, to kill all of us, it… just happened”, I didn’t know what to say, there was no way on this earth I could justify my actions.

  “You just ordered them to kill her, what are you? You monster!” he sobbed.

  “Callum, I didn’t mean to, I just…”, I tried to defend myself but I knew I could talk the world blue and still it would make no difference I just killed a person by ordering the monsters to do my bidding.

  “We could have just shot her to wound her but to take her out like that, she was my sister, my family”, he sobbed more and more, louder and louder until it became more anger than upset, “I could have a saved her”.

  The words echoed in my head as I had screamed those very words at the person I just killed. Then the pain hit me and cut deep, I was a monster and I killed her.

  “We did sort of know she had a connection with them”, Monique tried to defend me.

  “Yes but she didn’t have to do that”, he commented.

  “What now?” Monique asked looking around at the silent and still monsters, all of them standing there like skeletal statues, the only reflection that they were alive was the silent breath’s and they awkward boned chests rising.

  “What now?” he asked outraged, “What now?”

  We both didn’t answer.

  “I’ll tell you what, she can go and be with her hideous creatures and be Queen Creature in some hell hole somewhere and I’ll go and bury my sisters remains and you can do whatever the fuck you like”, he snapped.

  I shook my head in denial but I knew it was true, I was one of them monsters and I deserved to be with them from now on. Without saying a word I commanded them to leave, to head back to the old Eastbourne hospital, their movements where silent as were mine as I started to walk off.

  “Stacie wait no you can’t go”, Monique cried out.

  “I need to, I’m too dangerous to be around people. I couldn’t go to London with you guys anyway in case I got Ollie or Cain accidently killed or anyone else for that matter”, I turned to her, “Please look after them for me” and I handed her my family photo for Cain.

  Taking it she nodded, “I will”.

  And without another word I vanished into the night.

  ~

  After watching Stacie leave into the night with the crushers Monique lost it with Callum, she knew something deep down that he thought no one else knew and it would mean what Stacie had done to his sister was almost payback for what he had done, “Go and get her and tell her to come with us”, she demanded grabbing him by the collar.

  “Get off me, who do you think you are to tell me what to do? She just killed my sister”, he said.

  “Because you didn’t have hers killed did you?” she said it as a question but she already knew the answer.

  “I don’t know what you mean?” he said it back as a question but his tone sounded worried like he already knew what she meant.

  “I heard you talking to Amanda when Stacie went AWOL to the pond, I heard you say that it was you that let the creatures into the big guns camp, you saw her sister running around looking for her and you saw her fall from the staircase and the creature that bit her yet you did nothing. You let it happen! You helped kill her sister maybe not by hand but by your actions and now your booing over yours, you have no right to tell her to leave she has just as much
a right to come with us to London as you do”, Monique snapped at him.

  “No you must have heard it wrong, I saw who let the creatures in, I didn’t do it!” he claimed.

  “No I know what I heard because Amanda said you knew the risks as you had done it before to save the others. You have form for letting creatures in to cause diversions I remember Callum as I was there the first time but this time it went wrong but instead of at least trying to save her sister you let her get bit and die even though you knew Stacie had spent so long trying to find her. And you’re supposed to like her, maybe love her?” her voice was stone cold as she accused him.

  “I needed a diversion to get my people out, Stacie’s sister was no saint she played her part in the big guns so yes I had no qualms about letting her get it over the lives of the other people”, he sniped.

  “Right ok so the fact she was kidnapped, raped and most probably tortured and then ended up having one of their bastard children made her a bad guy does it? Because you and Amanda did no harm to no one did you when you were with the group, I remember you saying it was either kill or be killed in that group so how many people did you kill but yet you’re still a saint?” she spat.

  “I know I’m no saint but Stacie went on like she was some sort of miracle to the planet, all she did was go on about her sister and wanting to save her and putting her need to find her in front of other’s needs”, he pretended to sob and sound like Stacie.

  “You’re just as nasty as your sister, you deserved each other. Stacie has put her need first sometimes but then I would too if I knew someone from my family was still alive”.

  “That’s the thing she didn’t know she was alive she just hoped she was”, he said.

  “Then why did you help her? Guilt, greed, both?” she asked.

  “Maybe but I needed her help too so I could get the others away from the big guns”, he said so self-righteously.

  “Well why help the others and not her sister? Were some of them not abused by those people to the point they done things they regretted? And Stacie has put the needs of others first, like little Ollie! She tried so hard to get him and his sister out of that hospital and away from the mad doctor even if it killed her doing it, she went to Eastbourne to make sure you got the medicine you so desperately needed even though she was grieving and she knew it could get her killed and it almost did!” she said.

  “I didn’t tell her to”, he said.

  “You didn’t need to she would have done it out of her feelings for you, she might not admit it but she likes you a lot I can see it and this is how you treat her? Amanda tried to kill both myself and Stacie back in Eastbourne, once in the actual hospital and then outside by tearing down a fence to a huge field that was filled with creatures. Stacie risked her life for you and she would for anyone else and you know it”, she shouted the last part.

  He stood looking over the body of his sister which was more in parts than in a skeletal formation, without saying another word he gathered her up and took her to the woodland, he then returned for a shovel and set to work making her a grave. He said nothing more to Monique as he knew he was in the wrong and that he had ruined Stacie’s life when all she had wanted was to find her sister and help everyone else. He knew she should be allowed to go to London and that he had no right to stop her, yes she could command the Crushers but she had been infected trying to save ‘his’ life, she had been infected because ‘his’ sister had left her for dead, she had been infected because ‘he’ had been careless and gotten bitten. He had been careless and got Tanya killed and now Karma had come to haunt him and make him pay by taking Amanda away. He sighed as he dug away at the soil, could it really be Karma getting him back for all that he had done? He had been there when her sister had been taken, watched her turn from a beautiful, graceful and lovely young woman to a hard faced cow who would click her fingers if she didn’t like someone and wanted them dead. He had helped shoot down all her friends and her dad back at the farm house, he had killed a few people shot them down without a second glance because he knew if he didn’t his punishment would be far worse. And yet he still felt like Stacie had done the biggest wrong to him, by ordering those things to kill his beloved sister. Yes she had gone mad, he could never love her the way she wanted but to be torn apart? All these things were whizzing and talking to him in his head, making him feel crazy. Then a noise interrupted him, he had just finished laying his sister in her grave when the car they had loaded for the trip to London whizzed past him.

  “Hey wait! WAIT!” he cried out.

  Monique pulled over next to him and looked out the chicken wire windows, “What?”

  “Where are you going?” he asked.

  “Where do you think?” She snapped.

  “We’ll go to London together just wait a second”, he said.

  “Find your own way I’m going to get Stacie”, she snapped and went to pull away.

  “WAIT! Wait, ok I’ll come and we’ll go get her together, I know I’m wrong for punishing her when I did the same if not worse to her family. But promise me one thing?” he asked.

  “What?” But she already knew.

  “Don’t tell Stacie I got her sister killed”, he answered looking sheepish.

  “She has a right to know especially if she feels guilty over yours”, Monique said.

  “Please just for now, I want to tell her but in my own words and my own time”, he replied.

  “Fine, hop in”, she said leaning over and unlocking the door to the passenger side, there was no way she was letting him drive, he might turn away and lose her completely and then Stacie would be lost forever.

  Chapter Nine …

  I turned a corner with my clan of Crushers following me, I didn’t really know where else to go other than back to the old Eastbourne hospital but I guess that seemed like a wise choice. The numbness in my chest and mind where not that of guilt or pain or of being weird and turned but it was the rejection from the people I cared about. I knew deep down inside me that I had started to fall for him that I could maybe have seen myself with him for the rest of my life no matter how long that turned out to be. I had risked my life to get him his medication even though I should have been with my nephew making sure he was safe but foolishly I thought it would take away the pain of losing Tanya by going out and occupying my mind with him but now I was a freak and could order things to kill people. And now Cain my nephew was gone and I would quite possibly never get to see him again even though I had promised Tanya I would look after him. How could I ever forgive myself when I had failed so many people lately?

  The Crushers took no notice of my undying sadness and numbness just kept strolling with me following my every footstep. I hadn’t noticed much about them until now, yes they were skeletal scary monsters but inside my head I could feel their old personalities seeping in, I could see by how they walked and dodged certain obstacles that deep inside them there was still some part of their soul still alive. The youngest minded of the group had been a woman who believed she had the mind of a girl of about 12 years old, I could see how she liked to be playful and bashful due to her almost skipping along beside me but I could feel it in the back of my head, she wanted to run and play, scream and cry out in laughter. A man in his late forties had been obsessive compulsive in his old life, even though he looked dirty and grimy from the months of being a creature he rubbed his clawed hands in a fashion that was like trying to wash them. Most of them all done certain little things that I could pick up on, there was another man a tall one who stood at the back of the group, watching and keeping an eye on everyone like a proactive warrior, I had the sense that he had been a police officer before this all happened and if something happened to me I would like him to become Alpha, I even sent out a small note of this through the brain waves and I could feel them all agree with my choice.

  After a while I needed to stop so we all sat down on the nearest beach, the night was still holding on and the stars glittered over the calm waves. It would h
ave been a perfect view if I didn’t feel so glum and near on suicidal. I wasn’t sure I still wanted to be here anymore, what was a life like being one of these things? I wanted to be with Cain, Ollie and Monique but I was too much of a risk now and that made it all worse much worse.

  Then the thought came to me, why should I let HIM dictate to me what I could and couldn’t do? Yes I had killed his sister but he had done things to my family and yes he had tried to make amends for it but…he wasn’t a monster like me.

  Dammit should I, shouldn’t I?

  That was it my mind was made up I was going to London with or without them, I didn’t need to be told what I could and couldn’t do. My family were there and so should I be. With that I stood up from the beach and looked over at my followers, I suppose I could order them to all go and follow the policeman but…something deep down told me to hold on to them just for a little while.

  London was going to be a long walk but I couldn’t fit them all in a car, so we began the journey on foot.

  A few hours passed and we were doing well for time, I did need to rest sometimes but being half creature made me move faster and more agile to manoeuvre over obstacles. We even done a run at some speed and I managed to keep up with them for quite a while which took minutes off the journey, a couple of days later I could see the hospital Doctor Toni had told us about in the distance. I knew that they would have look outs and if I came strolling up with an army of creatures they were sure to freak and shoot them all which I couldn’t have. So I found a building which was close enough that if there was an emergency either for me or them we could reach each other in just under ten minutes or so, I told them all they were in danger and had to stay in here and wait for me and that I would call them out soon. I didn’t know how much of what I told them was true but it would mean they were safe for a while, something inside me needed to keep them safe, they were mine. It was just getting dark and into the evening when I finally walked up outside of some very large gates, a huge wall had been built all around the hospital and there were guards and lookouts all over the place, they had spotted me within seconds of me coming anywhere near the place which worried me at first as to whether they had seen who I arrived with but they didn’t ask any questions so I presumed we were safe, for now.