“Hello?”
“Hey Dez, it’s Casey.”
I couldn’t speak.
“Do you want to go out with Jim and me Friday night? We want to celebrate the new addition to our company.”
I sat there, silent, unable to respond.
“Hello, are you there?” he snapped.
“I’m here.”
“And Dez, bring Bryan with you. We will be there to pick you up around seven.”
He never even gave me time to respond before he hung up the phone. That bastard. I needed to come up with a good excuse. What did he want from me?
CHAPTER NINE
Wednesday Morning was my first day without Sophia. I walked in, put my jacket away and sat at my desk, twenty minutes early. I looked at the pile of papers on my desk to file. Turning on some music, I began filing. I danced around, trying to shake out my nerves. I shook my hips and went through half the stack of papers before the phone rang. I turned down the volume on the radio and made my way to pick it up. As I turned around, I saw Casey watching me from the window in the hallway and felt the instant rosiness in my cheeks. I stood there in shock as he opened up the door.
His smiling face stared back at me. “Well, are you gonna continue dancing around or answer the phone?” he teased.
“Oh, yeah, right,” I responded, taking the last step to the phone. “Hello. Hello.” I hung up the phone.
“Well?” he asked, raising his eyebrows and crossing his arms, briefcase in hand.
“They hung up.”
“I’m not sure why,” he said, rolling his eyes and heading into his office.
I was pretty sure I was going to throw up. I debated following him into his office and apologizing, but instead, continued filing with the music down a little bit more.
I finished up the filing just before Casey came out of his office and put another stack on my desk.
“These are letters I need you to write to clients about their upcoming court dates. Are you familiar with Windows 95?”
I had no idea what he was talking about. “No, not really. I used an Apple in school.”
“Okay, here, let me show you,” he said, moving me over and sitting down in my chair.
The next two hours he spent showing me how to use the computer and even typed up one of the client letters for me.
“Do you feel comfortable with this at all?” he asked.
“I don’t know, I guess. I will just need to practice.” I smiled, wondering if this job was too much for me. If maybe he was too much. I just wanted him to leave me alone now. I could always use the web to tell me what I needed to know about Windows.
As if some higher power was helping me escape from this conversation, the phone rang.
“Hello, Johnson Law Office, this is Destiny,” I answered, feeling the sweat dripping from my forehead as Casey sat there judging me. “Yes he is, hang on. It’s for you,” I said, looking at Casey.
I held out the phone to him and he reached across me, brushing his arm against mine. I watched his finger touch the hold button.
“My first rule is, never ever say I am here. You always tell them I am on the other line right now and take a message on the notebook immediately. I can’t believe Sophia didn’t mention this to you,” he said, quite shaky.
“I’m sorry, what do you want from me? I’ll tell them whatever you want,” I apologized, feeling quite shaky.
“Take a deep breath.”
I took a breath and let it out quickly.
“Just tell them I am on the other line and take the message, please.” He said, walking away and slamming his door shut.
I didn’t see him again until around noon. I didn’t want to apologize. It just made me work harder while he was gone. Every call after that, I made sure to take a message. When he walked out of his office, he acted as though nothing happened. Any moment, I was pretty sure I was going to lose it.
“You hungry?” he asked, his body turned away from me while he pulled out a yellow legal pad from the cupboard.
“Kinda,” I mumbled under my breath.
“Okay, I’m going to get us some pizza. I’m sorry I got mad at you earlier, I have a lot on my mind. Don’t take it personally.”
Don’t take it personally? Seriously?
He came back with pepperoni slices for both of us about a half hour later.
“Come eat in my office with me, there is a table in there.”
I followed him into his office and we sat right next to each other, against my better judgment.
“How is everything going, Dez? Did you get all the filing done today?”
“Well, there were a few names I couldn’t find, but I just have to keep looking.”
“Some of the files are stored because the cases are closed. I will look at them and let you know. You can just put them in a pile on my desk and I will show you where the closed files are located tomorrow.”
“Okay,” I answered, trying not to make direct eye contact with him.
“So, did you talk to Bryan about Friday yet?”
“He’s working overtime and I don’t have a sitter, maybe another night.”
He rolled his eyes at me.
“I really am sorry I snapped at you earlier. Let me know if you change your mind. Did you play around with AOL yet?”
“No, I haven’t. I have used AOL before though. Should I set up a new email for the office?” I asked, trying to keep our conversation professional.
Although I didn’t have much of an appetite, the pizza gave me something to do with my hands. He made me feel so uncomfortable.
“Sophia already has one on the computer. You look so stressed out. Is everything okay at home?” he asked, eyeing me curiously.
“Yeah, it’s fine. It’s just really weird, you know, having you as my boss,” I said, like I would tell him anything that was going on at home.
“It’ll be fine.”
I nodded, picking at my cheese. He got up, wiping his hands on his napkin.
“We couldn’t just hire anyone for the job. I trust you. We have history.”
The way he said it shot a shiver down my spine. He walked behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. I was afraid to move. He began rubbing them, but it was a little too hard and uncomfortable.
“You look a little tense, Dez. Let’s not talk about work, let’s talk about Bryan,” he said, his fingers running up my neck.
“What about Bryan?” I snapped, trying to lean forward and pull away, but his hands were too strong, holding me back.
“How are you two doing?”
“Um, okay,” I said, my voice shaking. I was sitting with perfect, uncomfortably stiff posture.
“Let’s get something straight. Do you want to continue working here?” His voice became powerful, deeper.
“I have been waiting for the catch.”
“Well then, you need to leave Bryan,” he ordered.
I stood up and turned around, not caring that my pizza flew right off my plate and onto my shoe and the white carpet in his office.
“Are you kidding me, Casey?”
He laughed and inched his way closer to me. I could feel his breath on my face. I didn’t breath, in fear of smelling his foul breath again.
“No. Unless you want me to tell him you took advantage of me while I was drunk, you need to leave him.”
I felt my body shaking. “What are you talking about? Why would you lie? Why do you want me to leave Bryan so bad?”
I closed my fists so he couldn’t see how badly I was shaking with anger.
He slid the back of his hand down my face. I took a step back, slapping his hand off of me.
“Don’t touch me!” I screamed.
“Oh, Dez. You are so cute when you are angry, you know that?”
“Why do you want me to leave him, Casey? Why? We are trying to work things out, I’m trying to be happy. What do you get out of me leaving Bryan?”
“You will do what I say. You have until Friday. Leave him
or I will tell him the truth. Bryan can do so much better than you. I don’t want to see him wasting his time with a lying bitch like you. Maybe you should have taken me up on our offer for Friday. You obviously don’t trust me, so I don’t trust you.”
I felt the tears streaking my makeup down my face, the anger burning inside me, the walls closing in on me.
“But I love him! If I leave him, I will tell him about us. You can’t stop me.”
He remained calm as he once again leaned in, just inches from my face. “You don’t want to mess with me.”
“You don’t scare me, Casey, I quit!” I screamed, pushing everything off his desk and onto the floor. I slammed his office door behind me, grabbing my coat and purse, running out the door before he could catch up with me. I was terrified, unsure of why he would do this to me. Was this a game? What could he gain from this plan? He’d lose Bryan too.
I slammed the door of my Oldsmobile and started it up. I loosened my short gray scarf with white stripes around my neck and pulled as hard as I could. I could feel it choking me as I struggled to free it from my neck with one hand. I finally got it off and threw it right out the window.
I began unbuttoning the button on my beige blazer as my car came to a halt in front of my house. I saw Bryan’s truck parked in the driveway. I hit the top of the steering wheel with all my might. As I stepped out, I took off my blazer and threw it into my car. I was hot and sweating, wanting to take it all off the moment I got into my house. I felt suffocated by all of it. The clothes were fake, just like I had become. I walked in the door, taking off my grey stilettos and threw them across the floor, yelling out for Bryan.
A shadow followed me as I began unbuttoning my cashmere blouse. Then I turned around and saw the anger in his eyes. Frozen, my hand still holding on tight to the button. He knew. The fact that my bosoms were exposed as my white Victoria’s Secret bra peeked out, didn’t even bother me. I was taken aback by his closed fists, tight jaw and eyes that could burn a hole right through me.
As he stepped into the light, I saw the red blotches on his forehead, his eyes swollen. He looked like he was in more pain than anger.
“Is it true?”
I bit down hard on my lip, unable to look him straight in the eyes.
“Destiny, is it true?” His voice got a little louder, a little angrier.
I looked down at the floor, crossing my arms. That asshole called already, got ahold of him before I could tell him myself.
“Yes.”
His glare broke my heart, ate at my soul every second we sat there in silence until he finally continued. “Is Gabby…Is Gabby his?” he cried out, putting his hand in front of his mouth, terrified of my answer.
“Really? Is that what he said? No, no way. It was one time, months before she was conceived. I promise,” I pleaded, taking a step toward him. Showing him the sadness, the aching in my heart.
He stepped back, putting out his hand to stop me from coming any closer. “Get out. Just get out.”
“I’m so sorry, it only happened once, I promise.” I pleaded.
“Get out. Get out now!” He screamed, making his way to the couch. “I can’t even look at you right now. Not another word. When Gabby gets home from school, I will tell her you had to go on a training or something. You need to give me this,” he said, too softly.
I made my way upstairs, packing a suitcase as I zoned out. I wasn’t going back to the office with Casey, that I knew for sure. I packed a few outfits and my makeup. I pulled out the bobby pins from my poof and pulled out my black banana clip and replaced it with a thin scrunchie. I threw on a baby-t with a peace sign, and a pair of jeans and made my way down the stairs, scared to see him again.
“I love you,” I whispered to his back, unsure if he could even hear me.
CHAPTER TEN
“What would ever drive you to jump in bed with that man, Dez?”
“That’s the thing, Jill, I don’t even remember it. I just woke up in bed with him, naked. I must have blocked it out of my mind or blacked out or something.” I tried remembering the night in my head, like I had tried to do so many times, but I still couldn’t remember having sex with him.
“So, he stopped over after his dad died and you ended up in bed with him?” Her voice was just pissing me off.
“Jill, it was innocent, I promise. He came over to see Bryan. He didn’t know he wouldn’t be home. I honestly have absolutely no feelings for Casey, never have. I mean, he was a friend, and in college I thought he was a jerk and was only nice to him because he was best friends with Bryan. I woke up in the morning sick to my stomach when I realized what I had done. It was horrible.”
“Sounds like the night you ended up in bed with your husband. You know, the night you conceived Gabby. You just ended up in bed with him, pissed off the next morning,” she mocked me, rolling her eyes.
“It isn’t the same, Jill. I remember what happened that night with Bryan. I mean, not at first, but it slowly came to me. What happened with Casey was totally different. I remember having a drink with him, but nothing after that.”
“Maybe you erased it from your mind on purpose. I’ve heard of that happening before,” she said, adding half a stick of butter to the mashed potatoes she was putting in the microwave.
“It doesn’t even matter anymore. We are over. Done. Casey’s an ass. How could he do this? Do you think Bryan will still be friends with him after that?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t know. I mean, I can’t believe Casey had the balls to call him. I really don’t understand why he wanted you to leave Bryan so bad. What does he get out of it anyway? Maybe he is jealous and wants him all to himself.”
“Stop with the jokes, Jill. This isn’t funny, this is my life.”
Her kitchen phone began ringing, but neither of us moved to answer it. We let her answering machine pick it up.
“Jill, it’s Carl. I can’t seem to get ahold of Destiny.”
Jill and I exchanged glances, neither one of us moving to pick up the phone.
“There has been an accident. If you talk to Destiny, tell her to meet us at the hospital, it’s Bryan.”
We both raced across the kitchen to pick up the phone, but he had already hung up. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard.
“An accident? Oh no, his parents don’t have a cell phone. Rewind it Jill, rewind it!”
Jill rewound the cassette and played it again as I ran across her kitchen floor, grabbing my jacket, keys and purse off the kitchen table. I slipped my wooden clogs on and we both ran out to my car, Jill trailing slightly behind me.
“Dez, let me drive. I don’t think you should be driving,” she called out to me.
I didn’t have time to argue with her. I threw her my keys and she caught them, slipping in the driver’s seat and slamming the door behind her. I grabbed my Nokia—1610 version with a small antenna, made for talking only—off the seat. I had a missed call too, but they didn’t leave a message on my phone.
Jill drove fast, I’m not really sure how fast because it was all a blur. We reached the emergency room, and I just ran as fast as I could. I didn’t realize I was crying until I reached the lady behind the counter in the emergency room.
“I’m looking for Bryan Fredrickson. He is here I think, he was in an accident.”
“Calm down, let me see what I can find out. Who are you ma’am?” She spoke calmly, too calmly. She didn’t seem to care that I was distraught.
“I’m his wife,” I said, my voice shaking. How could she not know that?
She got up and walked away without another word. I turned around, paced the waiting room, my heart felt like it was going to explode.
“Calm down,” Jill whispered, pulling me in for a hug.
I pushed her away, leaned over the counter to search for the woman.
“Destiny?” I heard from behind me.
I saw Bryan’s parents and ran to hug them. They were in tears, our bodies trembling together.
“Where is Bryan? Is he okay? What happened?”
“They just took him by ambulance to Duluth, Dez. He’s—“ Carl said, holding my hands.
“Oh my god, is he going to be okay? What happened? What happened?”
“He was on his way to pick up Gabby, he was on the highway and he went through a red light. He…he’s hurt pretty bad. They didn’t tell us much. We need to get to Duluth right away. They are taking him to St. Mary’s, his condition is too serious for Hibbing to handle.”
I didn’t want to hear any more. I grabbed Jill’s arm and the next thing I knew I was racing across the parking lot.
“Slow down, slow down. I’m driving.”
“This is all my fault. If I wouldn’t have done what I did, this wouldn’t of happened.”
“It’s going to be alright, Dez, this isn’t your fault. Listen to me, it’s not your fault, ya hear me?”
I just ignored her as my sobs grew louder and my heart began beating faster. It’s all my fault, it’s all my fault, I kept repeating over and over in my head.
As we pulled up to the hospital, Jill dropped me off so she could park the car. I didn’t even wait for the car to come to a complete stop before I was running at full speed to the nearest information desk. I had no idea where he would be. I slowed down to glance down both halls, searching for a nurse.
I saw the information sign and desk beneath it. I ran as fast as I could, unable to stop at this speed and crashed my abdomen into the counter. I didn’t even feel the pain as it knocked the wind out of me. I struggled to talk.
“I’m looking for my husband, Bryan Fredrickson. An ambulance took him here, he was in a car accident, where would he be?”
The panic in my voice made her talk faster in response.
The Deception of Destiny: A Novel Page 5
