Rebel Rockstar

by Marci Fawn

  “Are you looking forward to tonight?” Nate asks me, entering the room in the most gorgeous tuxedo I’ve ever seen. It’s the night of his celebration party, and we’re all dressed to the nines, really making an effort.

  “I cannot wait!” I exclaim, spinning around to show him the turquoise-sequined full-length dress that hugs every single one of my curves. I pose for a few seconds, and he gasps in excitement.

  “You look amazing!” he exclaims, pulling me in for a deep kiss. “I’m so lucky to have you.” As the kiss deepens, and his hands start to explore my body, I’m forced to playfully push him away.

  “Stop it,” I say, giggling. “It took me forever to get ready, and we’ve got to be there in a minute.”

  “Aw, but…” he jokes, but I shake my head.

  “You’ll have to behave,” I insist. “You can have me later. Come on—the car’s waiting.”

  As we step into the banquet hall that Nate has hired for the night, I can’t help but gasp in shock. The party organizers have done an absolutely amazing job. They decorated the room in deep purple and gold shades, giving it a classy appearance.

  “Oh, my God, Nate, this is awesome!” I scream, spinning around on my Jimmy Choo heels. “I can’t believe you found the time to plan all of this.”

  “I have had a little help,” he admits, grabbing hold of me and pulling me in for yet another kiss. My insides light up as his arms wrap around my waist. The chemistry that I feel with Nate is on another level, and the fact that it’s combined with the most intense love in the world makes it that much better.

  Soon, the moment is broken by the crowds spilling into the room, and the night becomes a whirlwind of dancing, drinking, and fun. I even get the chance to reconnect with everyone I worked with on the cruise ship, which is nice.

  I keep looking around for Lola, hoping desperately that she comes, but I haven’t seen any sign of her yet. I’m hoping for the chance to have a serious conversation with her, to be able to get things back to the way they were before any of this happened, but she doesn’t seem to be coming. I worry that she’s afraid to come in case everyone blames her. I don’t hold any grudges against her at all. I understand now that she made a mistake and that it spiraled out of control, and I want to be able to reassure her that it’s all behind us now.

  I miss her. I miss her a lot.

  After an hour or so, I’m forced to accept that she isn’t coming. Everyone who is coming has already arrived, so I step up onto the stage, ready to say what I’ve been rehearsing all afternoon.

  “Hi, everyone,” I call above the murmurs of the crowd, slowly silencing everyone. “Thank you for coming. We really appreciate you all being here. As you know, this party is to celebrate Nate’s freedom. We want to put that horrible mess behind us, and we’re glad that you’ve joined us for that.” I take in a deep breath, ready to reveal my surprise. “And now I’m going to sing my newest song. I wrote it just for Nate.”

  His eyes shine, lighting up in excitement and shock, as the music bursts out behind me.

  “Wait, don’t leave.” I croon, and a hush comes over the room. “I need you here. You’re my secret, my world, my everything. Love keeps us together, when the world tries to tear us apart…”

  I watch Nate the entire time I sing, expressing all of my emotions, my feelings, my love with my words. He looks incredibly touched and excited by my words, which is exactly what I wanted from all of this. I want the world to know how I feel about him. I want everyone to understand that we’re in it for the long haul, and I hope the song is doing that. Everything I’m not entirely sure how to vocalize comes out in the music and the lyrics. I’ve been writing this in secret for a while now, and I’m so happy I did it. I love seeing his reaction—he absolutely loves it!

  When I step down from the stage, everyone clapping around me, Nate pulls me in for a deep, inviting kiss, making the crowd go wild. Everyone whoops and cheers, celebrating our love, which is exactly the reaction that I was hoping for. After all the negativity we’ve faced, all the people trying to tear us apart, it’s nice to feel that people are happy for us.

  After that I find myself drinking far too much, getting too into the swing of things, and eventually I need to step outside to get some fresh air. I’ve never been a great drinker, and too much champagne always reacts badly with me. I just need a moment alone, a second to suck in some cool air to calm me down. Then I need to start sticking to soft drinks…

  Unfortunately, right away a cold voice bursts through my foggy haze. “Well, hello there, Jemima. What a surprise to see you.”

  I turn to face him, unable to believe what I’m hearing. “Cole,” I gasp. “What the hell are you doing here? Who invited you?”

  “Did you really think there would be a big party like this without me here?” He steps too close to me, getting right into my personal space. I can feel his breath on my cheek. I smell him with every inhale—it’s absolutely unbearable. “I’m always here. I’m at everything. You should know that by now. Wherever you are, I am too. Have you not seen that yet?”

  Nate probably invited him without thinking. He knows I’ve had my ups and downs with Cole, but he has no idea of the extent of it. He definitely wouldn’t have invited him here if he knew…

  Cole’s hand touches my thigh, and I slap it away sharply. “Get the fuck off of me, Cole.” I can hear the break in my voice, which makes me sound weak. “You don’t have any power over me anymore.” I sound pitiful as I speak, which isn’t helped by the tear that instantly trickles down my cheek. I’ve been having such a good night. Two seconds in his presence and it’s already drained away.

  “Well, we both know that’s a lie,” he says, sneering. “I’ve always had power over you.” His fingers trail down my cheek, and I snatch my face away angrily. I try to step backward but I hit the wall hard. I’m stuck. I flick my eyes around, but quickly realize that I’m trapped in a corner with no easy escape.

  Cole recognizes that as well. In fact, I imagine that was his plan all along. He’s always enjoyed getting me in positions that I cannot get out of.

  His hands grasp me everywhere, bringing all the horrendous memories from my past flooding back. I try to scream, but the sound gets stuck in my throat. He’s right. He really does have power over me, and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it. My brain is screaming at me to fight and yell, but my body is frozen, as if I’m encased in ice.

  By the time my dress has been pulled up to my waist, my body has started to slump as if it’s ready to accept that I can’t keep him off me any longer. He always managed to overpower me, to do what he wanted, and now it’s happening all over again.

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Cole!” Tonya’s voice breaks through my fear. “Leave her alone or I’m calling the police right now.” Her phone is in her hand, and her expression is deadly serious, making me thankful for her presence all over again. “I fucking mean it, Cole. You cannot behave like a sleazy prick your whole life, you know?”

  “Fuck you, Tonya.” He laughs mirthlessly. “You’re pathetic, you know.”

  “I’m pathetic?” she screams. “I’m not the fucking dickhead who has a young girl pinned into the corner. Now don’t make me fucking scream and get everyone out here.”

  Eventually he walks off, making some sort of sleazy remark as he goes, but I tune him out, my breathing finally returning to normal. Tonya has saved me again, and I’m not sure why. This time I won’t let her get away. This time I need to talk to her. I need to find out why she’s being so nice to me for no apparent reason.

  “Don’t go,” I pant, reaching out, hoping to grab her hand. “I need you. I need to talk to you.”

  She moves behind me, practically holding me upright. “Are you okay? Do you need…I don’t know, medical help or anything?” There’s a terror in her voice that I can’t quite place.

  “No, no, I don’t need anything. I need you. I need to speak to you.” My words are coming out garbled, but I don’t care. As long as sh
e understands, it doesn’t matter how foolish I sound. “Please. Please talk to me.”

  “I agree,” Tonya replies. “We do have a lot to discuss. Come on. Let’s go to the bathroom.” I lean against her and allow her to take me back inside. I don’t want to go back in, because I’m pretty sure Cole went that way, but with Tonya by my side I feel somewhat safer.

  22

  Nate

  I can’t believe how amazing this party is! The planners (who, to be honest, did most of the work) did a fantastic job throwing this together. I never would have been able to do this alone. After everything I’ve been through recently, it’s nice to be able to let my hair down and enjoy myself—although I have been holding back when it comes to booze. I can’t afford another mistake like that again! I’ve finally gotten to a place where I feel happy and settled with my life, and it’s nice to be able to recognize that. Even things with my new album are going much better than I expected.

  The only problem is that I haven’t seen Jem for a while now, and she’s the only one I really want to be with. It’s nice seeing everyone else, but it’s her that I want to be spending this party with. The last time I saw her she was heading toward the bathroom, but that was a long time ago. I’m not worried, exactly, because I know she’ll just be gossiping with someone somewhere, but I can’t help but miss her. After spending so much forced time apart, I hate to have her far away from me.

  As I scan the room again, I feel a hard tap on my shoulder. I spin around to see Cole standing there, glaring at me. “Oh, hi, Cole.” I smile at him warily, wondering what he’s doing. I only invited him to be polite. I never expected him to actually come. Especially after his fights with Jem, and the fact that he’s representing Lola. “Thank you for coming…” I say it like a question. “I appreciate it.”

  He grabs my hand tightly and hands me a business card. “If you ever need some new representation after the fucking mess your last management team got you in, then give me a call, okay?”

  I open my mouth to tell him that I’m quite happy with Paul, thank you very much, but he’s already gone, so I shove the card into my wallet, ready to throw it away later on. I’d never go to Cole, even if I didn’t have Paul—he’s weird and sleazy, and Jem would kill me. There’s just something very unlikable about him, and I doubt that would do very well for my career.

  “Nate?” A soft female voice takes me from my shock. Lola is unexpectedly standing in front of me. I was sure that she wasn’t coming, but I’m so glad she did. I don’t ever want her to feel excluded from any of our social events—especially after she saved my freaking life. She’s dressed in a demure, sweet black dress, as if she’s trying to represent a more somber version of herself, and her face is wet with tears. It’s obvious that she’s not sure she should be here, and I hate that. We all want her here. No one blames her for what happened, least of all me.

  “Oh, my God, Lola. Thank you so much for coming.” I pull her in for a hug, trying desperately to reassure her. “Are you okay?” She nods quickly, saying nothing. “Thank you so much for what you did for me in court. I can’t believe that you spoke out to defend me like that. I’d be in prison if it wasn’t for you.”

  “I’m just sorry that it went that far,” she practically sobs. “I never wanted any of that to happen. It was all Cole. He went crazy, wanting money and publicity, and I was powerless to stop it. He’s just such an overpowering person.”

  “It’s okay. I know how it is.” I try to interrupt, not wanting her to feel bad about herself, wanting to show her that my management can be a bit of a nightmare too, but she doesn’t stop talking.

  “He told me to lie at the trial, but I couldn’t do that to you.” That explains the weirdness that crossed her face as she stood up in the stand. I understand it now—her dilemma. Wreck her career, or stand up for me? Hopefully she’ll be able to rebuild herself, just as I have. I imagine the first thing she’ll need to do is get away from that waste of space Cole, but now isn’t the time for me to say that. “I’ve been feeling so bad ever since. I’m sorry I even kissed you. I was in such a bad place at the time…”

  “Do you…do you want to talk about it?” I try again, but she shakes her head emphatically. “Okay, well, let’s just put it behind us and forget about it. We’re friends, and I would love it to stay that way. I don’t want all of this to push us further apart.”

  “Okay,” she says, nodding. “Put it in the past—I can do that.” She’s trying to sound brave, but I can definitely hear uncertainty in her tone.

  “So what’s new?” I don’t want her to leave just yet. I want her to realize that I’m serious about being friends. That I’m not just saying it to be kind. “What’s been going on with you?”

  “Well, I went back home for a while.” A small smile spreads across her lips. “And I managed to reconnect with my old boyfriend, Ben. He’s the one that got away, you know? The ultimate love of my life. We had to break up when I was taken away from him to start my career, but we spent some serious time together and we’ve decided to make it work.” She sends me a bright grin, showing me just how happy she really is. “I’m sure it won’t be easy, but hopefully we’ll manage to get past that.”

  “That’s amazing news!” I’m happy for her. She really deserves to find someone decent. “Is he nice? Does he treat you well?” I can’t help but slip my big brother pants back on. After all she’s been through, the last thing she needs is some shitty boyfriend in her life.

  “He’s the best. You’ll love him.” Her eyes shine with love—this guy must be a good one. “I didn’t want to bring him tonight, because I wasn’t sure if I was going to come myself, but I’ll definitely introduce the two of you soon.”

  She pulls out her phone and shows me some pictures of the pair of them hugging and doing cutesy couple-y things. He really does look like a nice guy, with sandy blonde hair and green eyes, but I’ll have to have a talk with him when I see him, just in case. I’ll need to make him understand that if he fucks with Lola, I’ll be on his case.

  “He looks like a nice guy.” I smile widely at her. “And I’m sure that Jem will be excited for you too.”

  “Where is Jem?” Lola asks, flicking her eyes all over the room. “I need to speak to her. I feel like I have a lot of explaining to do. I really want to get things back to normal with her.”

  “I don’t know,” I laugh. “I’ve been looking for her forever!”

  “Well, come on, I’ll help you find her.”

  It’s difficult to locate someone when you keep getting stopped to talk every two seconds, but eventually I manage to spot her coming out of the bathroom, arm in arm with Tonya. I shoot Lola a glance and she looks just as confused as I feel.

  “Let’s go,” I say to her. “Let’s find out what the hell is going on here.” This is too weird for words.

  23

  Jem

  Tonya sits me down on the toilet lid, allowing me a moment to catch my breath. I’m still a little blown away by what happened with Cole, and that combined with champagne is causing my head to spin wildly.

  At least I know for sure that I’m safe in here. There’s no way that Cole could get anywhere near me. Tonya’s presence makes me feel safe, too—surprisingly, after all that’s happened.

  “Are you okay?” she asks me with genuine concern in her voice. “Can I get you a drink of water or anything? Are you hurt? Are you sure you don’t need anyone?” She’s actually panicking about me, which is strangely nice. I never thought I’d get to a place where Tonya Becker cared about me, yet here we are.

  “No, I’m all right, I think,” I say, trying my best to give her a grateful smile. I take a second to look her up and down, examining her amazing outfit. Although I thought I looked pretty good tonight, it’s nothing compared to her. She has a rocking body like you wouldn’t believe, and in her tight, body-con red dress, she looks absolutely amazing. As I look at her, I feel a swell in my heart, one that wishes we’d managed to form a friendship early on. W
e’ve been in the same business for the same amount of time, and we’ve experienced a lot of similar things. It’s such a shame that jealousy over Nate kept us apart. If he wasn’t in the equation—much as I’m glad that he is—I wonder if we could have been friends.

  “Are you okay to talk now?” she asks. “Are you feeling all right?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you again for saving me from that prick.” I try to smile, but I can’t deny the tears in my eyes. “I really do appreciate it.”

  “All right. Then…I have something to ask you.” Tonya stares at me with an intensity that makes me uneasy. I wonder where the hell she’s going with all of this, what she knows. I wonder what I’ll admit to her if she just comes out and asks me. “I’ve seen you with Cole a couple of times now, and it looks like he’s been acting very inappropriate with you. Did he…did he ever abuse you? When you were younger, I mean?”

  I glance down at my feet, emotions washing over me. It’s true. She knows the truth. I’ve probably been giving off abuse-victim vibes the whole time, even though I’ve been desperately trying not to. I’ve spent my whole life trying to hide that side of me, but it seems I’ve done a terrible job.

  “What I mean by that is…” Tonya continues. “Did he abuse you too?”

  “What?” I practically scream as my entire world shatters around me. What does she mean? Tonya waits patiently for my mind to decipher her words in a way that it really doesn’t want to accept. It’s bad enough knowing that my youth and early career was ruined by that horrible sleazy bastard, but to know that he did it to someone else too is killing me.

  In that moment, it all comes rushing back—the fear, the intimidation, the terror. Him, his hands, his abuse of my body. I shudder wildly as the memories come out from their locked-away hiding place to infiltrate me. Just the thought of him doing that to someone else…