“I’m all right,” Diana repeated urgently. “You haven’t hurt me.”
“But I could have….”
“You didn’t. And in truth, you wouldn’t have. I’m certain of it.”
Elana desperately wanting to believe that. She lifted her chin and said more clearly, “I have never struck anyone so hard.”
“I should be honored,” Diana whispered slowly, stunned by the depths of the emotions she had tapped in this woman.
“Honored?” Elana laughed weakly. “May the Mother spare you greater laurels.”
Diana smiled at that, but her heart chilled as the dark head bowed again. The blue-clad shoulders shuddered, and she knew Elana was crying. She moved nearer and knelt, cautious not to touch her. “Please,” Diana whispered, “don’t do this on my account. I’m all right. Truly I am.”
“We are not,” Elana reminded her hoarsely.
“We — we will be.”
“I try to understand, Di’nay. But each time I think I do, something happens and everything seems to change. First, before Colmar — then at Black Falls… am I truly so inexperienced? Inept at reading your advances or — or too clumsy in an embrace? Or is it because I am of Aggar and you are a Sister? Do you even know?!”
“It isn’t you.” Diana wearily pushed the hair back from her face. “Your inexperience is a factor, but mostly, it is my — differences. It’s…. I’m the one who’s afraid. I don’t trust what I feel — what I see. I’m afraid of hurting you or — us. There is so little time left to me on Aggar. I don’t know… what saying good-bye would mean.”
“Would it be any more insane than what we live with now?” Elana asked.
“Perhaps… perhaps not.” Diana’s conviction was fading. Her eyes absorbed the rich brown of Elana’s profile and the startling blue gaze that stared into oblivion. Diana moved slowly, pushing the heavy black curls aside and tucking the strands behind an ear. Elana’s eyes slid shut, and regretfully Diana removed her hand.
Her chin dropped, but Elana could no longer hide behind her hair.
“I do worry about you,” Diana said quietly.
“Me? In what way?”
“Even whores here do not know what a woman loving a woman is. It is so very uncommon. Yet you say you… want me. I am worried you think so merely because the Council says you should. You’ve spent your whole life doing their bidding — believing in them and what they say. Why shouldn’t you now? I don’t want you wanting me because of them. I could not. It wouldn’t be right.”
“No,” Elana glanced up at Di’nay, “that would not be right.”
For a very long moment, they looked at one another, then Elana’s eyes blurred with tears again and her gaze dropped back to her hands. “Di’nay… I’ve said I am here because I have chosen to be. Yet you have never believed that. I can only say that I want to be with you… that I want you.” She shook her head despairingly. “I do not know how to convince you. I have only my word to give — that my feelings are part of me… and not the Council’s purpose. But my word has never been enough for you. I have nothing else for proof.”
Diana clenched her teeth, fighting the frustration and confusion inside herself. Put so simply, could she still doubt the woman’s pledge? “I beg patience, but… it is difficult to believe you’re not afraid.”
“I have never said I was not afraid. I am afraid — of losing you.”
“Are you afraid of me?”
Elana laughed. “I would think you’d be more afraid of me — after what I have done to you.”
She has not answered, Diana thought. Yet she too was still wary of Elana. Not because of what had happened, but because of what could happen. “I am not afraid of your Sight.”
“No?” Elana challenged. She so desperately wanted to believe that.
“No.” Diana’s fingers gently turned Elana to face her. “As a matter of fact, I think you have the most beautiful blue eyes I’ve ever seen.”
“Oh?” Elana smiled very faintly, her gaze lifting to Di’nay’s.
“So incredibly lovely,” Diana whispered, mesmerized by an awareness that had nothing to do with the Sight.
Blue eyes slipped away to rest on pale lips. Memory kindled desire, and quietly, simply, Elana said, “Kiss me?”
Her kiss was so sweet, melting into that subtle tingling warmth that Diana had dreamed of for so long. With a slowness born of utter abandon she absorbed the line, the shape, the silken texture of Elana’s yielding mouth. Satiny touch parted their lips. Tongue stroked tongue, and her stomach quivered in her wanting.
Too much, she worried. Half-fearful of her own stirrings, Diana drew back, but Elana followed. Her mouth reclaimed Diana’s as her fingers brushed the tanned cheek and her hand slipped about the nape of Diana’s neck, preventing escape. Hungrily — desperately her tender assault coaxed and pleaded, and Diana released the reluctance. She did not want to go back; she wanted Elana as her lover.
Clothes parted, and fumbling fingers soon soothed as skin bared and shivered in dawning awareness. Franticness faded. Angles pressed into softer curves as bodies merged, and strands of silken hair wrapped around them, a shimmering ebony against the pale white and warming brown.
With lips and cheek and her own soft hair, Diana roamed across the satin-skinned softness of Elana’s shoulders. Hands tugged, urging her return for the abandoned kisses. As she lifted herself she paused to look into a blue-jeweled gaze.
Elana’s hands smoothed the pale, strong shoulders as she smiled up at Di’nay.
“Beautiful…,” Diana’s own smile grew slowly, “…so very beautiful.”
Fingers slipped across Diana’s breasts, and fascinated, Elana’s gaze was drawn to the softness that filled her hands. Slight, yet so perfectly rounded, the small mounds yielded. With a moan Diana’s eyes closed and she arched into Elana’s touch. But the images within her head took new shapes and her mouth dried. She lowered herself again, her own mouth seeking the fuller curve of Elana’s breast.
“So soft…,” Diana whispered, lost in her Sisters’ tongue as her lips circled the tender peak, “…so sweet — how could I not love you?”
Elana’s fingers sank into Di’nay’s hair as her lover’s mouth claimed her.
Softness of murmurs, of silken warm skin… always her voice… always her hands… arching, flying higher. Elana thought she could climb no higher… no touch could draw more. A tentative finger, a slender pressing touch amidst the moist heat, and then the cradling palm, cupped and rubbing… capturing her with such sweet aching. She breathed, “Please?” and wetness opened as she drew Di’nay within… spiraling higher… following… spinning… gathering with no end….
“Ti mae Elana.” Diana lifted her head as she felt Elana’s body still beneath her fingers’ touch. The hands clenching her shoulders paused, frozen — the soft lips trembled. Diana called to her, “Ann n’Mee…z’ti Mau corae. Elana!”
Blue eyes opened as everything gave way, and Diana, locked in that sapphire gaze, fell with her. Tumbling, trembling… the waves shook apart and silver flashed white — like sunlight skimming water, it blinded. Scorching — burning it took them whole, and finally crumbling, dropped them through shards of light until they emerged, bound together. They drifted, their bodies melted, glowing. The blanket beneath them warmed the cavern’s sands as the heater warmed the air, and slowly, they returned.
With effort Elana blinked and released Diana. Eyes fluttered closed as Diana arched, yielding a moan — so reluctant to leave that blueness. Exhausted then, she buried her face in the soft hair, and Elana’s arms slipped around her.
For a long while they lay still as breathing steadied and hearts quieted. The friendly bubbling of the cavern’s springs danced through the chambers, echoing their peace. For a guilty moment Diana was grateful for the raging blizzard outside.
She nuzzled deeper into the silky tresses and felt the guilt dissolve. The Mother allowed things in Her own good time — even this.
“I beg pat
ience…,” Elana murmured thickly, but there was a faint lisp of laughter in her low voice.
“Patience — why?” Diana pushed herself up an elbow unsteadily.
“You….” She moistened her dry lips, and Di’nay leaned forward to wet them with a gentle kiss. The softness lingered warmly.
“Why?” Diana asked again.
“You looked very — startled.”
“It was not what I expected.”
“Nor I.” Elana brought Di’nay’s fingers to her lips.
“What did you expect?” Had she ever truly sought to flee from this?
“Less.” Elana felt Di’nay’s hand, warm and still damp as it curled against her cheek. “It is so much more than what I — had observed with others.”
Huskily, Diana said, “Does ‘so much more’ please you?”
“Yes….”
Diana’s fingers sank in the thick, black hair. Her head moved almost in denial, amazed both at the silk beneath her touch and at the depths of her own feelings. “This… our attraction goes very deep.”
“Perhaps there is more than…?” Elana did not quite dare to finish.
“Much more.”
The words were answer enough. A faint smile touched Elana’s lips as she drew Di’nay near again.
Diana sighed — a soft, warm sound as Elana drew a cloak over them. She found their bodies fit well together even in this languid peace, and the beat of Elana’s heart was a steady pulse beneath her fingers. Strong — contented, its rhythm echoed her own heart’s measure. Perfect harmonics, two and yet one….
Her mind drifted, the shadows of the cave whispering their reassurances. This was real. This was theirs. Slowly the subtle scent of their loving wrapped about them, and beneath the Mother’s gentle hand, sleep descended.
† † †
Chapter Five
Diana pushed herself away from the cavern wall and brushed the dust from her sleeve. She had been gazing down the short tunnel to the snowy whiteness beyond. The howl of the wind was fading, and reluctantly, the Amazon admitted that the time was coming to leave their mountain retreat. Now night was descending, granting them a last evening’s reprieve, but tomorrow they must go. She wondered how much strength there was in this tentative bond they had forged.
A warmth with the strength of a blazing fire suddenly enveloped her. She turned, her dark gaze seeking Elana’s once sleeping form. Tenderly the fire crept through her skin, easing her anxiety and filling her with a subtle peace.
Diana smiled ironically at her insecurities. She really did spend too much time thinking. “Here,” she called finally and moved across the sandy floor.
Blue eyes met Diana’s fully as she dropped down beside Elana. Like a tangible hug the amarin grew stronger, and Elana murmured, “I know….”
Diana gathered the woman into her arms, burying her face in the silky skin and hair. So much unsaid — stop thinking. Her lips sought Elana’s — soft, welcoming.
† † †
The women trudged through the loose gray stones, concentrating in silence as the path shifted and slid beneath their feet. The footing was uncertain at best. With each crunch and crystal-like clatter, their nerves tightened. They were crossing the remnants of the reef that guarded this ancient coast even before the mountains’ upheaval. The once-sharp white and sandy pink columns were faded and worn to gray sand and mud. They still banked and climbed with an ugly foreboding, but the edges were not to be feared as much as the rubble into which it was disintegrating.
Elana paused uncertainly and pushed the wayward hair from her face. Although the wind was chilly, it lacked the icy touch of the alpine heights. She almost welcomed it after the exertion.
Several feet behind her Diana stopped, unwilling to crowd too close on this trail. She had never seen stuff as wicked as this. Her feet were bruised from the sharp thrusts and juts of it. For two days they had traveled through this — two days should have seen them through to the barren plateau of the exposed seabed. Yet, the twists and turns of the ancient reef allowed little glimpse ahead, and the cascading slopes of loose rock often eclipsed the trail-markings. It was thoroughly possible that they were lost, but there was nothing she could do about it. Sometime yesterday morning, she had lost her bearings; as long as Elana was willing to guide, she was willing to follow.
A light warmth surrounded her and Diana took her eyes from the crags above. It was odd how she was learning to heed the touch of Elana’s blue gaze. The thought flickered through her mind that she would miss this intimacy — feel cheated almost, if ever there was another.
Elana pointed ahead. “If I am right that pass will drop down to the wastelands.”
“And if you’re not?”
“Then it will be another very uncomfortable night.”
“All right then, let’s go look.”
Curious, Elana watched as Di’nay moved forward to take the lead. There was a trusting, matter-of-factness in her lover’s amarin that surprised Elana. This calmness was no longer a mask. The fatigue and the homesickness were slowly melting away; the tightness about Di’nay’s mouth had eased. She liked the fact that she had had a part in banishing that weariness. She was good for Di’nay, and it was beginning to show.
“You’re thinking about me!” Diana’s voice carried back over her shoulder.
Guiltily Elana pulled her eyes away. “You are awfully quiet. Good thoughts, I hope?”
“Very.”
Diana laughed and trudged on.
† † †
The sun brushed the amber of the sky with red and violet. Awed, Diana paused at the crest of the pass. Twilight had faded into gloom beneath dingy overcast clouds for so many days now that she had nearly forgotten Aggar’s painted sunsets.
Elana reached her side, and Diana gestured to the orange tinted expanses below and the dance of light beyond. Silent, they stood together as the fiery bronzed orb shimmered and touched the line of the distant horizon. The wastelands glimmered with rose and gold… fingers of color stretching out from that glowing giant. Above, the blues darkened and indigoes emerged. With a slowness that hurt the eye, but with a rush that cheated souls, the sun sank, leaving the two women in twilight.
Elana broke their silence with a reluctant sigh. “We might make a league before darkfall. When the early moon rises, it will be near full tonight. We could easily reach the plateau in her light.”
“How far?”
“Not quite six leagues.”
Diana cast a more critical eye across the barrenness below. In the twilight the dry sea bed appeared unerringly flat from this height. Its evenness was broken only by stubby silhouettes of cacti-like trees. She looked at the exposed descent of the gravel trail and frowned. Its nakedness made her feel vulnerable.
Elana took half a step forward at her companion’s show of concern. Her Sight swept the crags and slopes about them. She reached past the multitude of small reef dwellers, then out across the plains below. Plant — animal — all meshed into the expected patterns. Above, leagues away, a scavenger circled lazily, so far off that she could not distinguish its type nor the lure of its dead prey. She stretched further west, knowing there were Changling nomads and a few lone friends of the Council there. Distantly, so very distantly, were people. But none were near enough to identify. She turned to the north — to Maltar’s black horizon. It was an indistinguishable dark haze, its hills of blackpines and plowfields hidden in dimness. “I see no one,” she murmured.
Diana glanced at her sharply. “Where is the group we follow?”
That was puzzling to Elana. By the signs, the two men they had tracked into the Cellar’s Gate had joined a small band of Maltar’s militia at the pinnacle’s shelter. Although they had not been snowbound quite as long as Di’nay and she, they certainly had not had time to cross the wastelands. “North.” Elana pointed toward the Maltar’s reign. She pulled her attention back from that shadowy horizon. She had not realized she was so exhausted. “To Maltar’s realm, the only place
they can be — along the reef edges — ”
“But you can’t see them?” Diana did not pretend to understand the nuances of the Blue Sight. It was Elana’s uncertainty that unsettled her.
“No,” Elana admitted with more assurance. She pointed again, outlining the crags to their right. “The reef is too dense there for me to see past. They must be following the edge around to Maltar. Several leagues out, it begins to break up and the foothills come down to the plateau. There is water and some small game. It is the more practical route to go, if one is not in a hurry.”
Diana slowly breathed out. It didn’t add up. The two out of Black Falls had been moving at an impossible pace. She didn’t believe that their fear of a lone Southern Trader would have propelled such a flight. Since Elana’s encounter with Tartuk, she had assumed that it was the Maltar’s summons that spawned the men’s urgency. Yet if the militia had revised their orders…? It was not comforting to think the Maltar’s interest might have waned. That could mean he knew Garrison was Terran — or that Garrison was dead. She preferred to think that the Maltar had sent the soldiers as protective escorts, but she had no way to be certain of anything.
Still, as Elana had explained, crossing the wastelands was not lightly done. The upheaval of the mountains had driven the sea floor a thousand feet up. There were a few scattered water pockets here and there, but for the most part the sieve-like rock simply let the mountain waters seep down into oblivion. Perhaps the militia commander was a loyal, but doggedly practical sort of fellow.
“You worry they will be circling back?” Elana asked. It would be the first opportunity the land had presented in quite some time.
“I’m more worried about giving them the idea that they need to circle back because they know where we are now,” Diana said, climbing back a few feet to look behind them. The cold canyons beyond the crest were already growing inky black.
“I could shadow our light. None would see then.”
“And you wouldn’t get any sleep,” Diana pointed out practically. She sighed. She really hated the thought of another night on this stuff. A piece of her wanted to shelve the whole mission — just for one night. Be a little self-indulgent and have a hedonistically good night’s sleep on some dusty, sandy grit. “It seems foolish to risk the exposure,” Diana muttered, still weighing the decision.
Shadows of Aggar (Amazons of Aggar) Page 26
