Dreaming God

by Rik Johnston

CHAPTER SIX

  I

  WAITING FOR JUDGMENT

  The staff members, with a very firm grip and a much greater strength than their own, dragged Tuesday and Jason kicking, thrashing and screaming about injustice to the office to await whatever punishment they would find there. When they reached the office’s waiting area, they were forcefully placed into chairs, despite Jason’s protests for having even been brought to that location in the first place. But more than that, he was very verbal in his defense of Tuesday and her actions.

  “What kind of screwed up school is this?” Jason shouted in protest, trying his best to point out the injustice that was happening to her. “It isn’t her fault, the other kids started it!!”

  “Sit down and be quiet, kid.” Stated the first staff member in a threatening manner, a physical education aide named Jimmy Waite, “You will, if you know what’s good for you.”

  “You two are in a lot of trouble.” The second staff member, Joey Donaldson added in that annoying tone that a smaller kid in a pack of bullies would use to back up the leader of the pack.

  Jason then took a defiant tone, standing to his feet and looking the second staff member right in eyes. “But we didn’t do anything!! Those other girls started this!! I was defending this girl from a pack of bullies!!”

  Joey moved back behind Jimmy, clearly nervous about Jason and what he might do. It was at that moment that Jimmy Waite jumped forward and placed his large hands upon Jason’s shoulders, shoving him back down into a seat on the other side of the room with enough force to knock the wind out of him.

  “I don’t care who started it, I just finished it!!” Jimmy shouted. “Now sit down and shut up!” His fists were clearly clenched, but he slowly released them as he trailed off with his words. “The Principal will see you each separately when your parents arrive. No talking, I don’t even want to see you two look at each other.”

  While Jason was trying to catch his breath, Tuesday sat with her head down, staring and the floor, shaking nervously. Though he didn’t understand why she was behaving like that, he knew it certainly wasn’t out of fear. Tuesday knew what was coming, that she would have to go into the office, and face the ignorance of the staff members there, and put up with the same insurmountable mountain of theory, hypothesis and conjecture that she had been dealing with on and off for many years now.

  No, that shaking wasn’t fear, it was anger.

  Tuesday knew she would have to be paraded into that room, in front of the same authority figures that she hated, and who in all likelihood returned that hatred to her, and she would have to answer for a crime she fully did not commit. Would her mother show up to rescue her this time? It was the best thing that she could hope for, but it was only on very rare occasion that she did. And when she would show up, it was something of a large embarrassment for everybody involved, so much so that it had gotten to the point that the school staff would rarely call her mother in for anything. This caused the anger to solidify inside of her, that she knew that she would have to fight the battle by herself.

  The two staff members walked away, snickering and making inappropriate jokes about Tuesday as they did so. And over the next couple of seconds, her shaking transformed into a silent, steady stream of tears cascading down her cheeks.

  Jason was sitting in his chair, cursing Jimmy Waite under his breath and swearing that he was going to have him fired if it was the last thing he ever does when he noticed the tears falling from Tuesday’s eyes. Suddenly he didn’t care about the mistreatment that was dealt to him; his only concern was for Tuesday.

  Jimmy Waite would get his comeuppance that much was certain.

  “Hey, Tuesday!” Jason whispered in a way that anything but subtle. “Are you okay?”

  Tuesday didn’t answer him straightaway. Jason whispered again, only louder.

  “Hey, are you okay?” Jason asked again, even more insistently.

  Her lower lip began to quiver slightly as she searched for the words to say to Jason. Here was somebody who could be a friend, who would be a soothing balm against the onslaught of verbal assaults, who could be a warm blanket against their cold stares, who should think of her as a sane and normal person, but for some reason she found herself ready to push him away. Even she didn’t fully understand the reasons for it.

  “Yes, Jason.” Tuesday replied as her head bowed down to the floor and the tears began to slowly fall down her cheeks. “I’ll be fine and I can understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore. I’ve caused you so much trouble today.”

  “Are you crazy??!!” Jason exclaimed, almost in complete disbelief of what Tuesday had just told him. “This is the most interesting thing to happen to me since I moved here.”

  Almost instinctively, he put his arm around her and pulled her close, then reached up and gently wiped a tear from her eye with his finger, and her eyes flicked up to meet his. “I said we would be friends, no matter what, and that’s a promise.”

  “It’s just that, you know, this happens every couple of weeks, and I end up here in this office every single time.” Tuesday protested, trying to spare Jason a future of misfortune. “And I don’t want to get you into any more trouble.”

  A slow, cocky smile crossed Jason’s face, “I live for trouble.”

  Tuesday caught herself giggling just a little at Jason’s claim.

  “That and you happen to be the most real person I’ve met here so far.” Jason commented, trying to encourage Tuesday in a way that nobody had in quite some time. “You’re a better person than these other dung beetles are.”

  Tuesday brightened up at that, but felt the need to further explain herself; “That’s kind of you to say. I’ve been alone for so long that don’t easily trust people when they show kindness to me.”

  “Tuesday, I’m not like them.” Jason countered, trying his hardest to convince this girl that he was going to hold to his promise and stay with her through anything these people could throw at her. “I’m not those people, nor will I ever be.”

  Tuesday fully raised her head and looked deep into his eyes, trying to have faith in the things he was telling her. “I want to believe that Jason, I really do.”

  Jason smiled at her as his curiosity was reaching its breaking point, getting the better of him. Jason was always the kind of kid who wanted to explore people and what they were about, and this girl was somebody who was in real pain and different than most people he had encountered.

  “Tuesday?” Jason asked, puzzled over the whole matter. “Why do these people hate you so much?”

  Tuesday gazed directly into his eyes and for the first time, her trepidation had melted away. She took a deep breath as she felt the vulnerability overtake her, and was ready to tell him everything at that very moment. She bit her lip nervously as it began to quiver, the words at the very border of her speech, ready to cross over at any given moment. With a small amount of confidence, she exhaled and tried to speak, but as she moved her mouth, the voice of Jimmy Waite became audible.

  “Come with me, Mr. Alkali.” Jimmy Waite commanded in a militaristically authoritative tone that Jason didn’t like.

  Jason resisted at first, flinching away from the obnoxious staff member. “What about Tuesday?”

  Jimmy Waite rolled his eyes and doubled his efforts, gripping Jason’s arm tightly and yanking him to his feet. “We will be talking to her later, but for now you need to come with us.” Jason winced in pain at the level of strength Jimmy was applying to his grip.

  “That’s going to leave a bruise, I have witnesses, and my dad is an attorney.” Jason muttered as he addressed Jimmy Waite, hoping to strike a sense of fear into the ape. “Why don’t you think about that for a while?”

  For the first time in his career, Jimmy Waite realized that he might have gone too far in his methods of authority.

  Jason then turned to address Tuesday as Jimmy began dragging him toward the office. “I’ll see you later, Tuesday.”


  Tuesday nodded her head, but still wondered if this would be the last she would ever see of Jason Alkali.

  II

  JUSTICE UNBALANCED

  After what seemed like hours, Tuesday was finally called back to the office. She was fortunate that the gargoyle Jimmy Waite hadn’t come to collect her, but she hadn’t seen Jason come out of the office and wondered where he may have gone.

  The walk down that corridor always felt like the longest twenty seconds of her life. What would they make her feel guilty for today? What would they say to her to keep her in check? What kind of crazy new psychology would they offer her this time? Over the years, they had sent her to many different councilors that attempted many different techniques on her, and it always ended in the same inconclusive findings, that these nightmares were a figment of her imagination, and that she needed to quit causing a scene each time that she witnessed some tragically horrible event. In other words, they told her it was all in her head. They told her that she was so traumatized by the events she had witnessed that it caused her unparalleled levels of anxiety, and that she would act out on them. She had spent much of her childhood having been put on a variety of mood stabilizing drugs, none that made the nightmares go away, but would make her feel listless and tired. She never felt like herself on the drugs, so she refused to take them. One psychologist even told her that she lived in a fantasy world, and he tried to part her from Winston, naming him the root of her problems. The techniques would have been laughable to her, if indeed she had found them to be funny.

  Tuesday approached the door to the office and entered slowly behind the staff member who made a hand gesture toward a chair, offering for her to take a seat. Behind his desk, Principal Patrick McCauley sat with his arms crossed, the same stern look on his face that he always used to intimidate students who had gotten in any degree of trouble.

  Tuesday Moxley and Principal McCauley had many run-ins with one another over the years. Patrick McCauley currently served as the Principal for both Cadence Falls Middle and High Schools, and treated the position as a dictatorship in the eyes of the students. Almost as soon as Tuesday had entered third grade, Principal McCauley had been on her case, and had always jumped to conclusions whenever there was any kind of trouble at the school at all. Whether or not Tuesday was involved in what was happening, he was convinced that she had to be a part of it. Principal McCauley had a large stack of write-ups and suspensions on Tuesday Moxley, many of them were over petty issues. This would be her ninth year of dealing with this kind of abuse from Principal McCauley, so for Tuesday, today would be just another write-up, another paper in the file. No big deal.

  The next thing that Tuesday noticed was that her mother was not present at this meeting, but sitting to the left of the desk was a new face, one that Tuesday hadn’t seen before. She could only assume that this was the new psychologist that they had called in to refer her to. After looking around the room for a few seconds, Principal McCauley’s voice broke the uncomfortable silence.

  “Miss Moxley, here you are again.” Principal McCauley began with a tone that felt like spiders crawling over her skin. “I might have known you would be the cause of all this trouble. What’s your story this time?”

  She absolutely hated to be called Miss Moxley by Principal McCauley, and he knew it.

  The only reason he would open conversation in such a way was to be as hostile as he could be. He seemed to always sneer in that condescending way that he usually did, which used to make her feel uncomfortable, but now all she could feel for him was bitter anger. His intimidation techniques no longer worked on her because she reconciled in her mind that no matter what kind of interaction the two of them would ever have would be nothing but icy and frigid. She knew the staff had already passed judgment in their minds on her, and since she knew this was a battle that she was not going to win, she was ready to put up the dirtiest fight she possibly could. Feelings were going to be hurt.

  “Cause of all the trouble?” Tuesday began in a professionally calm tone. “This is not my fault. Those Jackson girls were picking at me before I ever got on that bus. If Jason hadn’t come along, I would have gotten another beating from…”

  “Are you finished?” The Principal cut her off. “The Jackson girls are nice kids and their family is a pillar of this community. They don’t go about picking fights. Now, your mother couldn’t be here because she couldn’t get away from work so we are going to place this in the hands of the school counselor…”

  “We both know that’s a lie!”, Tuesday half laughed and half shouted. She was good at playing the cut off game too. She knew Principal McCauley’s playbook very well and had become adept at mocking him with his own techniques. “I’ll bet you your job that you never even called her!” He stared coldly at her, locking eyes, and then looking down at a paper on his desk, nonverbally admitting his guilt. “And I don’t need a school counselor.” Tuesday continued, spitting her vitriol in Principal McCauley’s direction. “I don’t need you or anybody else here because none of you either understand or care.”

  The newcomer was beside himself with confusion. He couldn’t understand how the head of the school would allow himself to be treated like this by a teenage girl. He shot a look at the Principal that indicated he needed to rein in this situation as soon as possible.

  “Oh, Miss Moxley,” Principal McCauley began. “We do care. We care a great deal about you and the negative effect that you have on this student body. It’s only Mr. Alkali’s first day and just look at the trouble you’ve caused him.”

  This put Tuesday clearly on the defensive, as this comment about Jason shook her right to her core. But she decided she wasn’t going to show her hand as she refused to give Principal McCauley the satisfaction of the wound he had just offended with. In all fairness, she had brought up Jason first, and she knew Principal McCauley well enough to know that she shouldn’t have given him that particular piece of ammunition. Normally, she felt that she knew his tactics well enough that she was bulletproof against his volleys, but the mention of Jason deeply affected her, but she did her best not to show it.

  “That’s not true, you weren’t there!” She said with her voice raised. “Jason was only standing up for me because nobody else will!

  The raised voice gave too much away, and Principal McCauley continued to twist the knife. “He doesn’t even like you, he just feels sorry for you.” He said with a faint smile on his face. He knew that he would stab deep with his comments, so he continued. “His parents feel that the two of you should have no further contact. His studies and academic performance are very important to his family, and we can’t have you messing that up, can we?”

  Tuesday’s eyes began to well up with tears upon hearing this. Her anxiety levels rose to new heights as she is sure that she has been betrayed, a feeling that she should be used to by now, but this felt completely alien to her. Did Jason really just feel sorry for her? Did he lie to her? This is a whole new level of dirty for Principal McCauley, using this against her in this way. But perhaps he never was able to fight this way because she never had a friend to use against her before. “Surely, he must be lying”, half of her thoughts said while the other half echoed his words “I’ll be your friend no matter what.”

  Beyond having the ability to dream of future events, her other great weakness was her habit of overthinking every scenario. A myriad of possibilities flew through her mind in a thousand different trajectories and at various speeds. Her mind became a jumbled mess, so she simply grabbed at a random thread, pulled it out and followed it to its logical conclusion.

  “I’m not the one messing anything up, you people are!” Tuesday defended, trying to get past the pile of manure that Principal McCauley was spewing. “Why can’t you try to see my point of view for a change and try to help me?!”

  But it seemed that Principal McCauley had studied her playbook too, and was ready for this particular outburst. “We are tryin
g to help you.” He said calmly. “We are referring you to our new school counselor for a complete psychological examination. Meet Doctor Samuel Thornton.”

  Samuel Thornton seemed like an eager beaver and jumped right in as if this moment had been scripted. “Yes Tuesday, let me help you.”

  The sound of Thornton’s voice shot her defenses right up as she knew that there wasn’t a soul in that room who really had her best interests at heart. In her mind and her body, but even more in her heart, she wearied of this verbal sparring. It always came to a dead end. Inconclusive, they would always say. It always ended with laughing and teasing, with ridicule and regret. Did she have the time and energy to waste on another person who wasn’t really listening to her? Did she have the heart to get her hopes up for a solution to her problems only to hear that her case was inconclusive? It wasn’t worth the risk five psychologists ago, and certainly wasn’t worth it now. She felt that continued retaliation was the only way to proceed. She shot Samuel Thornton a look that was half confused, and half dismissive.

  “I don’t want your help.” Tuesday retaliated, displaying her disregard for the psychologist. “I want to go to class and be left alone and get good grades so I can leave this town and never come back.”

  Doctor Thornton put on his most compassionate sounding voice in an effort to reel her in, “You can’t mean that, Tuesday.” He said. “You shouldn’t be having all these feelings of persecution all the time; nobody is out to get you. Especially not those Jackson girls, who you really need to apologize to at your earliest convenience and set aside all the hard feelings.”

  That was more than Tuesday wanted to hear. She knew that he was right, and that she should apologize and make peace with them. But there is no making peace with those who don’t want to live in peace. In her mind, it was better to leave them alone altogether, live and let live. But the mere suggestion of making peace with them angered her beyond all comprehension.

  “I hate all of you!!” Tuesday yelled, trying to make her meaning clear that she wanted nothing to do with them. “I just want to leave, NOW!!”

  “You don’t hate anybody, Tuesday.” Principal McCauley chimed in. “You just need some professional help.”

  “Then let me know when a professional arrives, okay?” Tuesday retorted, firing back at Principal McCauley in a way that best represented her true feelings for him.

  “Your problem isn’t that uncommon, Tuesday.” Counselor Thornton broke in, ready to interject yet another theory for Tuesday’s condition. “I have heard of this before; I’ve just never seen an actual case.”

  This grabbed Tuesday’s attention enough to calm her down, her curiosity piqued to a new level. She looked over at him with doubt written all over her face, knowing full well he was baiting her. She decided to call him out on it.

  “Heard of what?” Tuesday accused, trying her best to maintain her composure. “You have no idea what I’m going through, and I have no desire to share the details with you. Just for laughs, hit me with your theory, hotshot.”

  “When you see terrible, everyday things.” Thornton began, speaking slowly and deliberately, hoping to keep from setting Tuesday off again. “Such as the automobile accident on the way to school this morning you get a feeling of déjà vu, like you’ve been there before and have witnessed the whole thing before, right?

  Tuesday laughed. “Wrong!” She said as she snorted out another round of laughter. “Take your meager salary and go buy yourself a clue.”

  This disrespect was more than Principal McCauley was ready to take. He began to get a cold, serious and odious look in his eye. “I strongly suggest you let him help you.” He said in a direct way, not pulling any punches. “We are tired of putting up with your antics and this will be the last time, I promise you.”

  “Whatever.” Tuesday said, as she stood up from her chair, turning to leave.

  Principal McCauley continued, pressing his advantage. “I mean it, if you don’t talk to him, you can’t come to school here anymore.” His cold, loathing glare was focused intently upon Tuesday.

  “You’d be doing me a favor.” Tuesday shot back. “I could homeschool myself and deal with less trouble than I have here every day.”

  Principal McCauley was ready for this. “I can block that from happening.” He stated, abusing his power to an extent he previously never had. “Either talk to Counselor Thornton daily, or don’t come to school here, it’s as simple as that.”

  “Oh, so now it’s like that?” Tuesday replied, her ire raised to a point where she found it difficult to control how she was feeling toward the man in charge. “I’m being expelled?!”

  The look on Principal McCauley’s face said checkmate.

  Samuel Thornton couldn’t believe that Tuesday was being expelled over this. A thought popped quickly into his mind, a suggestion for her that may help her. He reached for his wallet and pulled out a business card and placed it on the desk, slowly sliding it toward the young girl. “I have a friend who specializes in this kind of therapy; perhaps you should go see him.” Counselor Thornton offered, seemingly genuine in his concern for her, if only for a brief second. “Please, think about it.”

  Tuesday takes a moment and looks back and forth between the two of them, thinking about her options. Since her mother wasn’t here to protest or fix the situation, Tuesday chose the only path that made any kind of sense to her. Her hand moved toward the desk and her fingers nimbly picked up the worn business card, and placed it in her pocket.

  “Hmmm, let me think?” She said. “Expulsion or clueless school counselor? I plead no contest.” She hung on that word, leaving the Principal and the Counselor waiting on her next word in a moment that hung freely in time.

  “I guess I’m going home.” Tuesday announced, making a grand sweeping gesture with her arm like a sarcastic wave good-bye.

  She turned her back and walked out of the office to gather her things from her locker, secretly relieved that she would never again grace the halls of this particular hell ever again.

  III

  SKIPPING FOR SANITY

  The walk to her locker took no time at all, she was furious that she had been maneuvered into such a situation with no defense whatsoever. Tuesday flung open her locker door causing a racket in the cavern of the school hall and decided it would be best to take the things with her that meant anything to her, and that she could fit in her backpack. Tuesday was so worked up in a fit of anger and frustration that she kicked the locker as hard as she could, and flung a textbook down the hallway. As she began removing the rest of her textbooks from her backpack when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Apparently, she was so focused on being angry at being expelled, that she hadn’t taken notice of her surroundings and who might be following her. She expected it to be Principal McCauley, overseeing her evacuation of Cadence Falls High School, but when she turned around; it turned out to be a much more pleasant surprise.

  It was Jason.

  “Shhh, could you keep it down?” Jason whispered, looking around the hallway for any sign of a school staff member. “You’re going to get us both busted!!”