by Hamrick, R M
A few hours later, Audra watched two workers pull a cart out of the plaza and then outside fences. The body was buried, and the cart dragged unceremoniously back into Lysent.
Once they were gone, Audra began the furious but careful digging. She pulled out her sister, threw in some forest debris, and replaced the dirt so no one would notice. Audra put the body on a blanket and used it as a sled to pull her farther into the woods. She would wake up soon. Well, she would return from her coma state back into her zombie state, anyway.
Audra got her farther into the woods and set up her tent. She put Belinda inside with nothing for her to destroy when she came to. She made herself dinner and plans to run with Belinda in the morning, almost forgetting she would need to show face at Lysent to learn of her sister’s fate. Would they believe her?
When Belinda emerged from unconsciousness, she did so with a frenzy. She thrashed about and yelled out as her senses were overwhelmed by uneven ground, warm temperatures, and concurrent sounds. She was no longer in her controlled environment and whatever old arrangement they had was lost. Audra gently gagged Belinda, laid her on her side, and bound her limbs. She covered her with blankets to dull her senses. It was not how she had imagined her sister’s return. She left her writhing and took a long walk in the woods.
“Hi, Rosie. How did the doctor’s appointment go for Belinda?” she asked.
Her nerves rattled underneath her skin, but her skin kept still and did not betray her.
“Dear, dear, come sit down in here. The doctor will come talk to you.”
Audra was led into a side room. She put on a look of small concern and waited impatiently for the doctor. Just as Audra felt sure she’d been found out, an older female entered the room. She wore a white lab coat and small glasses. Audra stood up and shook her hand.
“Hi, Audra. I treated your sister yesterday. She fell in her room. You were right. She was sick. We do not know with what. She died.”
Audra did not say a word for a few moments, but sat back down in feigned shock. The doctor gave her a pat on her shoulder.
“Where is she?” Audra asked, her voice empty.
“We destroyed her body. I’m sorry. With the illness, we can’t be sure it won’t spread.”
Audra gave a confused look at the lie. She recovered and mumbled understanding. She stared at her hands in her lap.
“Did her caretakers note any signs before then? When I saw her I knew right away. If only I had awakened her sooner…” she said half to herself.
“No, ma’am. Unfortunately, any signs she was ill were within normal limits in our observation notes. You must have a sister’s intuition. There was nothing we could have done.”
“I understand,” she said.
She hesitated before her next question.
“What about my indenture contract? What happens now?”
“Front desk can answer those questions.”
And with that opportunity, the woman excused herself and Rosie returned. She gave Audra a couple pats on the back before sitting down next to her.
“I’m so sorry dear. I remember when you first came here. You were too small and young to be a tagger, but you did it anyway. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
Rosie’s eyes had questions. Had Audra killed her sister? Audra couldn’t answer her here. She touched her hand in appreciation. Maybe one day.
“I understand you have questions about your indentured service?”
“Yes ma’am,” she sniffled.
“Well, while you were in here, I was doing the math. The one million credits you need to awaken are, of course, not necessary anymore. Unfortunately, you still owe for rent, the two readers lost, and then, of course, the return of your current reader or the money equivalent.
“And also, we are charging rent for the six months no one can be awakened. Everyone is getting charged that to be fair.”
“But Belinda is not here. You could put anyone in her cell. I mean, room.”
“It’s unlikely we will find another tenant until the ban is over. It’s a fine everyone is receiving.”
Audra could point out the flaws in that justification. She could argue that she had never lost a second reader. But, it was all academic. No matter what, it was more than she would ever see, much less afford. She just wanted to know the total.
“The total you owe the corporation is 1.2 million credits. 1.6 million if you can’t bring back the reader.”
Before Audra could react, Rosie continued.
“And since it’s now all due, you will earn interest on the total as well.”
Audra no longer had to fake her shock and despair. It didn’t matter that they didn’t have her loved one. They still had her in a financial vice grip and they did not expect her to leave the tagging program anytime soon. Rosie gave her a quick squeeze and told her to take her time as she exited the room.
Before Audra had time to wipe away her tears and collect herself, she heard someone enter the room from a different door.
“Ahem,” came a throat-clear. Audra turned around to find Larange Greenly in the room. Audra stood up, not in deference, but to stand her ground. Greenly’s guards stood menacingly large. She refused to acknowledge Greenly’s desire to speak, but Greenly spoke anyway.
“I know you were in on that ridiculous negotiation with the traitor Vesna. You got her killed.”
Greenly’s eyes narrowed and she continued.
“And I know you killed your own sister, just to get out of helping Lysent and the villages. You think I’m the awful human being here? I’ve fed hundreds for hundreds of days. You’ve never done the same.”
She devolved into yelling.
“Get out. Get out now! Don’t you ever show your face in this township again.”
It was a bonus that Audra’s stunt had angered Greenly. Greenly was awful, so was Lars. The whole damned corporation was sour. Audra was happy to oblige the command for now. She gave Greenly a glare, turned heel, and retreated. But she would be back. One day, she would bring Greenly and Lysent to their knees.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Audra couldn’t stand to untie her sister’s last surgeon’s knot. Instead, she brought the camp to her. In her trek, she saw no signs of the infected responsible for her sister’s fate. All of their supplies lay undisturbed and yet Audra felt as if she had nothing as she returned to her sister. And as darkness threatened to fall, Audra realized they had spent their first day in their new life.
Audra built a fire. Belinda reached for the visual and sensory stimuli without thought of self-preservation. The transformation was complete. Belinda was gone. Audra cooked and ate dinner in a daze. She periodically chided herself that she needed to figure what to do, but otherwise did not think about it at all. Audra set up her tent as close as possible, just out of Belinda’s reach. She wanted to protect her from anything that might disturb her.
Audra awoke cold and reached for her sister before it all came flooding back. She ate out of habit, but little from lack of appetite. Her food supply was now plentiful. She found a good walking stick and rounded off the edges. She packed up her things and loosened Belinda’s knot. She secured her sister’s lead to her waist and guided her with the stick. They needed to remain on the move until they found something better. Belinda had always hated this plan, but now she followed without protest. Audra spun often to keep them from tangling on the brush. Belinda always gave a slow chase.
They walked an hour back to their earlier camp. When they arrived, Audra realized it was not where she wanted to be. She understood practicality would eventually win out over her grief. She would need a safe place to keep her sister or find the courage to put her down. But for now, she was moved to turn around. Her sister had wanted to visit the falls. And while that was where she had wanted to end her life, it was still a place of importance. She should see it one more time. Audra needed to see it one more time. She turned around and pulled out her compass.
The wooden signs marking the rules of
the park stood tall but rotting. No one needed their warning anymore. A metal plaque gave information on the history of the falls. Probably important when the world came back to life, but survival now ruled. They approached the bottom of the falls and surprised someone bathing. He ran out and into the woods. By default, Audra hoped he was not part of a larger group that would return to change her plans. In truth, someone else controlling her destiny would have been welcomed. She would be free of choice, maybe even free of Belinda. She didn’t dare think more.
Audra began the walk up the stairs she remembered from their vacation. Belinda could not coordinate the required movements. Every step tripped her up and put her on her shins and knees. Her face smashed into the stair edges. She tried to crawl, but still, it was too complicated for the diluted brain.
There were hundreds of steps.
Audra thought a moment and walked Belinda back to the signs. And yes, one marked an access road. Up the access road they went. It was covered in a couple years of leaves and fallen branches, but asphalted, so not overgrown.
When they reached the top, Audra tied Belinda to the bridge that went right over the falls. The moving water enticed Belinda, but the rope and railings kept her safe. Audra sat with her feet hanging over the edge and looked out. It was just a waterfall. Audra supposed it had been beautiful in a different lifetime. Not in this one. If she thought she would get closure here, she could not. She waited but found nothing. She still had a zombie sister tied to a rope, too many camp supplies, and nowhere to go. One of those issues was easily solved.
She pulled everything out onto the bridge and selected the things she needed. She left the rest in a pack for someone else to use. Then, they headed back down the access road. Audra had a fleeting thought of putting her pack on Belinda but changed her mind. Belinda was never good at carrying a pack. Why would she be now? Audra smiled for just a moment and continued their journey.
* * *
Even if she wanted to, they couldn’t go back to the laboratory. Greenly had connected her to Vesna and the lab. The last she wanted to do was lead her back to the scientists’ work. The first week of marching north was tough. It became clear that Belinda had been kept in tight confinement. Her muscles had atrophied and her motor skills had deteriorated. The stumbles were hard, but eventually, they fell back into old rhythm, just like the years when Audra had guided her after and before the bite.
Could Belinda survive in this world with just a little more time? With a little more help? Audra had not known how to help Belinda then, and she did not pretend to know now. But she had promised her mother. And she wanted to prove her father wrong. She was the last one hanging onto this rope. She had retrieved her sister and had hurt no one while doing so. And yet, peace still escaped her. It would come. Wouldn’t it?
In the meantime, they would march. They would march for weeks. Audra wanted to take Belinda to a familiar place, even if she was sure that Belinda would not understand.
They took the access road up like they had done before. It was almost dark when they reached the top. And someone was already camped there.
“Finally beat you somewhere,” came the familiar voice.
Audra said nothing as she busied herself tying Belinda to a sturdy tree. She was surprised that he had surmised her destination, annoyed he was there bothering her and her sister, and happy because she had missed him. She hated that he was there and yet, was glad to not be alone. The latter won out and after she finished her knot, she buried herself into a warm hug. She looked up into his face.
“It is good to see you, but I have other obligations.”
She wanted to be clear that his appearance would not persuade her to rejoin the group.
“I came to give you this,” he said as he offered a syringe from his bag.
An antidote.
Audra’s eyes filled with questions. Dwyn answered them.
“A temperature-stable antidote. Turns out it’s a lot easier to make them temperature-stable than to aerosolize them. At least, for Georgia’s spring weather. Summer? Not so much, yet...
“I ran it here for you, and for her.”
Audra fingered the syringe in her hand. Audra had worked hard, but all progress had been gained by her friends. Vesna had died trying to help a girl she never knew for a girl who had stolen from her. Satomi had made that syringe that had mimicked Belinda’s death. And with another milestone achieved, a temperature-stable antidote, their first action had been to run a hundred miles to give it to someone who had abandoned them, to someone who after she received it, would have no reason to help them ever again.
“Thank you,” was not enough, but the hug she slipped into and held was a start. She felt home. Dwyn gave his big, goofy smile and then settled into the hug. After a few long moments, she took his hand.
“I want you to meet someone…”
The river and falls below them seemed in perfect harmony with the insect noises around them. It was too late to give Belinda the antidote tonight. Audra slipped it into her bag, safely tucked away in towels. Dwyn had already eaten. Audra nibbled on a protein bar before she climbed into Dwyn’s tent. She slept in her own bedding but curled up against Dwyn, who said nothing of the arrangement but rested his chin on the top of her head. They listened to the sound of the water and the slight shuffle of Belinda until they fell asleep.
The next morning, they woke up at the same time and left the tent together. Audra smiled at their spot near the river and walked with Dwyn over the footbridge to watch the falls.
“Something here lends itself to change, to rituals, to an awakening. It’s magical,” he murmured.
Audra gave a small smile as she hung her feet over the footbridge. Speaking of changes, she wanted to know what was going on with the group.
“We’re scaling up our replication of the antidote. We’ve cured several other scientists, and they have been helping.”
Dwyn hesitated before sharing the next part.
“They verified that there is pain during the infection.”
Audra thought of Belinda at the campsite. She was in pain, and not just after the bite but before. Audra felt sure that waking her up to a world that was safe and civilized would relieve her pain, but maybe that wasn't true. And the world was not safe yet, anyway.
“We’re going to undermine Lysent. We need help running, recruiting. I thought that the taggers who lost their loved ones would be interested in helping. Besides, if we succeed, many families will be looking for their loved ones. Tagging will be back in full force.”
It sounded like a difficult world, but one she could help. It would get worse before it got better. Audra stood up and returned to camp. In the time that Belinda was gone, Audra had been angry, drunk, depressed. She had bargained her life in the process of making things right, but they were not hers to make right. Some things were out of her control. Some part of Audra knew that, but not the deep-down part.
When Audra turned the corner, she saw Belinda had pulled the blindfold off. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other in her excitement to see humans. Now whenever Audra saw the gray of Belinda’s eyes, she saw the pain. She saw the suffering she had refused to acknowledge was so deep in Belinda. Belinda had made her choice to end her misery. She just had not known her torment would not end with a bite. Belinda was now helpless to the agony. Would waking her up end the pain? Or was Audra just refusing, year after year, to accept?
Audra turned her eyes away from her sister and toward the campsite and breakfast. After her meal, Audra sat for a long time staring at the fire, pleasantly warm in the cool morning. Dwyn did not ask her when she would inject her sister. He knew she would do it in her own time. She watched the fire die, from flames to embers, to no glow at all, just gray.
Audra picked up her pack and approached her sister’s tree. She touched her face. Belinda pulled back and tried to bite the hand. Audra did not flinch. She reached into her bag for the antidote.
She arrived with something else.
She reached out and caught the remainder as she crumpled, guiding her to the ground. She held her body and closed her gray eyes with a pass of her hand.
While a gasp may have escaped Dwyn, he did not say a word. He had come uninvited. He needed not invade anymore. With all his questions unanswered, he stepped away. Audra lay next to the body and caressed its face without attack until the sun began to sink opposite where it had arrived.
In that time Dwyn prepared a final spot in the woods aligned with the falls. After the silent burial at sunset, Audra sat by the grave and gazed out to the ever-moving water and the sun glimmering through the leaves until it was no more. She stayed for days and she mourned in a way she had never allowed herself. And Dwyn let her be.
When she opened her mouth to speak, she murmured partly to Dwyn and partly to the hushed noises of the waterfall.
“I feel like I’ve been running all of my life… away from zombies, away from death, away from accepting and mourning my sister’s life and decisions. Belinda doesn’t have to be in pain anymore. And neither do I.”
And with that, she picked up her things and packed them away. They broke down camp and slung on their packs. It was time to move forward, to no longer meander through the woods focused on a dying mirage. Audra ran toward her group, to deliver antidotes, and to stop Lysent. She ran to awaken someone with the treasured vial stowed in her bag, toward a new life for the villages and for her. She ran toward herself.
End of Book One
Note from the author
While the suicides in this trilogy are fictional, suicide is a very real and tragic part of our lives. Please know if you need help there are people waiting to talk to you. You can reach free and confidential emotional support by calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or texting HOME to 741-741 in the US or calling 116 123 in the UK.
