Finding Somewhere to Belong

by C. C. Masters

  “So, an O3?”

  James laughed. “There is no way. We would only consider a status like that for someone who we were recruiting with significant leadership experience in both the military and their prior pack. You have neither of those. I don’t see that you have anything that you can bring to the pack.”

  The tiny tendrils of hope that had been growing in my heart shriveled at his words. He was right, what did I have to offer any of them?

  “James,” Austin said softly.

  “It’s better to be harsh now than to give her false hope.”

  “Anna, can you step outside for a moment while James and I consult?”

  I nodded and walked to the door quickly. The solid wood door was heavier than expected. I stepped out and allowed the door to sink closed behind me with a thunk.

  I didn’t see anyone else in the hallway. Cody had disappeared completely, and I listened for signs of anyone nearby. Seeing no one, I couldn’t help my curiosity and placed my ear against the door to see if I could hear anything.

  Nothing.

  I slid down the wall and sat down to wait. I had a feeling this was going to be a long conversation between them. I fantasized for a moment about what it would be like to be accepted into a pack as a family member. I had spent most of my life being on the outside looking in. What would it be like to be one of those happy, smiling people at barbecues and Thanksgiving dinners? I imagined feeling safe, protected, loved, but what could I offer them in return?

  I looked around the hall of the giant mansion I was in. They had money, they probably had professional chefs, maids, and other workers to fill the typical “female” duties of a household. I wasn’t looking to be a housewife, kept at home to take care of the house anyway, but I couldn’t think of what other duties they might assign me.

  Austin never specifically said what jobs their pack was involved in, but I was guessing that those jobs relied heavily on military skills. Skills that I did not have. I really hoped that whatever military-like jobs this pack was taking on were on behalf of bettering the world. Austin seemed like a good guy, but I could see James being the head of an international league of assassins.

  I heard voices coming towards me, and I scrambled up off the floor. It sounded like several people were coming in the same way that I had earlier; they were headed this way. Just as they were about to turn the corner so I could get a look at who it was, the door to Austin’s office opened back up.

  James scowled at me and gestured for me to come back in. Austin smiled at me from his chair behind the desk, and I took a seat back in the same chair I had occupied earlier.

  “We have decided that it would not be fair for us to place you in a position of authority over anyone in our pack.”

  My heart sunk. This was it, they were going to toss me out of the house, out of their territory. I would be homeless, jobless, friendless, and family-less, if that last one was even a word. I tried to push those thoughts away so I could think of what I was going to do.

  Austin continued. “But we still want to offer you a position here in the pack.”

  I looked up hopefully. “So, I’ll just be ranked at the bottom?” That couldn’t be that bad, could it?

  They both looked uncomfortable.

  “That would not be a good idea either,” Austin told me hesitantly.

  I was confused.

  “So…where does that leave me?”

  James and Austin looked at each other, then at me.

  “We’re not sure just yet,” Austin murmured.

  Suddenly, a crazy idea came to me. “Did you know that the Vatican is actually its own country inside of Rome?”

  James looked confused at the abrupt change in subject, but Austin cocked his head at me and a grin suddenly spread over his face. I could see that he knew where I was going with this right away.

  “So, what you are saying is that you have essentially been maintaining your own pack lands inside of my territory.”

  “Not exactly. It’s more like your territory just happens to surround mine,” I told him confidently.

  Austin laughed.

  James looked at Austin incredulously. “You are not seriously thinking about this. She cannot have a piece of our territory to have a pretend-pack.”

  “I think that what Anna is suggesting is that we merge our packs.”

  I nodded. “So, I wouldn’t need to be incorporated into the pack hierarchy right away.”

  “That is not how this works,” James ground out, his teeth clenched.

  Austin nodded to agree with him. “That wouldn’t work. But your idea of a separate pack gives me another idea. Females could be ranked separately from males in the pack. Everyone would still fall under my authority, but females would have a different chain of command that reported directly to me.”

  I nodded. The only problem would be the other females in the pack. How would they feel about being considered ‘separate’ from the men in the pack? I could see this not going over well.

  “How many females are in your pack?”

  Austin considered. “Including you. That would be one.”

  My jaw dropped. “You don’t have any females in your pack. Isn’t that unusual?”

  “We didn’t see a need for any,” James arrogantly told me. Have I mentioned how much I really did not like this guy?

  “What James means to say is that we have not found any females who would mesh well with our mission and our pack. Most females tend to be...difficult.”

  “Not all females are the same.” I was steaming. “I understand that females are not welcome in all parts of the military, and I even understand some of the reasoning behind it. But females are not worthless and can contribute a lot to your mission and to your pack.”

  “And that’s one of the reasons why I want you here,” Austin interrupted. “A lot of the guys in the pack have had negative interactions with females, and it has affected the way they view females in general. We need a good female to show them how awesome the female half of our species is.”

  I did feel a little better at that. I could understand how they felt because I had a somewhat negative view of men, both from my experience with my uncle and the fear of male wolves that Evelyn had instilled inside me. I knew that I had some issues to work through, so I would be a hypocrite for judging anyone for having similar issues.

  “So, we will merge our packs,” Austin announced with a grin. James rolled his eyes.

  “It is not going to be easy to introduce the pack to this. You are going to have to work hard to prove yourself,” Austin warned me.

  I nodded. I was no stranger to that.

  “James and I are going to have to work out a plan to introduce you to the pack. It is going to take some time for you to be fully incorporated, and I will let you know what your next step is. For now, I need you to keep your head down and not attract any attention from outside wolves.”

  I nodded again. I had a lot of competing emotions swirling around in my head. I was excited that I was going to get a chance to be a part of the pack, but I was worried they would never really accept me.

  Would this be like going back to high school? Surrounded by mean girls and tormented daily? Only in this scenario, the mean girls from high school would instead be vicious wolves.

  I cannot see this going badly at all, I thought sarcastically to myself.

  Austin considered me. “It has also been obvious during our conversation that you don’t follow the usual customs.”

  I just looked at him with a confused look on my face.

  James snorted. “She’s never been part of a pack before. How would she know?”

  “Yes, that makes sense. So much of what we are is ingrained in us since birth, I forget how much you would have missed out on being raised as a human.”

  My face turned bright red with embarrassment. “Uh, I hope I didn’t do anything to offend you?”

  “Well, you certainly did not act appropriately for a lone wolf coming to spe
ak with a pack-master and ask for admittance into his pack,” James told me sternly.

  I just glared at James. I wasn’t asking him if he was offended.

  Austin didn’t seem to be offended and still had a grin on his face. He stood up, and I sensed that our meeting had reached its conclusion.

  There were still so many questions that I needed answered before I could walk away. I decided to stick with the most important of all of them. “What about the investigation? Whoever murdered Evelyn is still out there, and they think they got away with it,” I said angrily.

  “This seems more personal than just investigating a wolf kill near your territory.” James eyed me suspiciously.

  Had I given him too much credit? He must not know as much as he thinks he does. Evelyn had always been careful not to have my name associated with hers. I guess the only way we could be linked together is from one of my co-workers mentioning I brought her to events, or by realizing that I lived in the same neighborhood as she did when I was growing up.

  I decided that since Austin was taking a chance on me and trusting me by letting me into his pack, I should also make an effort to trust him.

  I cleared my throat. “Evelyn was like a grandmother to me. She was a neighbor when I was growing up, and she was the one who told me what I was and guided me through my change.”

  James and Austin both looked shocked. Austin sat back in his chair, and James pulled out the chair next to mine and sat. Of course, he was careful to pull it a safe distance away from mine.

  They both looked at each other, having a silent conversation.

  James put his head in his hands. “I can’t believe I missed that.”

  Austin looked at me sharply. “She wasn’t a wolf?”

  I shook my head no. “Not exactly. Her father was a wolf, but her mother was human. Her father kept her in the pack for…breeding purposes. Her father gave her to another male wolf, and she had a daughter. The pack kept both of them as prisoners to keep the generations going. But her daughter did not survive the…breeding efforts.” Even James looked horrified at that.

  “Evelyn ran from the pack and has been in hiding ever since. She figured out what I was and took care of me despite everything that had been done to her. She loved me as if I were her own granddaughter and taught me everything I know about wolves.”

  “That definitely explains why you were so terrified to be brought in here.” Austin gazed at me sympathetically. “If I had known a little more about your past, I would have handled this situation much differently.

  James looked guilty. “I…”

  “Not your fault,” Austin assured him. “It seems like our new wolf is very good at hiding and keeping secrets. I think she is going to fit in here just fine.”

  James glanced at me, and I think he was feeling a little repentant for being such an ass to me, but he didn’t speak.

  “So, did you guys steal Evelyn’s body, or was that the murderers?” I blurted out.

  Austin’s eyebrows rose, and he looked at James. James scowled. “No one stole the body. I notified the appropriate chain of command that there was a possible wolf kill on our territory. They have a protocol for how they dispose of the evidence.”

  Rage rose inside me, and I growled. “Evelyn was not evidence to be disposed of,” I told him angrily. “She was everything to me!” I had angry tears leaking out of the corners of my eyes, and I brushed them away impatiently.

  “I didn’t mean it that way,” James said softly with an apology in his eyes. I tried to push my anger down; being angry would only hurt me, not them.

  Austin cut in. “What James means to say is that we are both sorry for your loss and we are here for you. We are your pack now, and we are going to help you through this.”

  I took a deep breath to calm down. I felt reassured by Austin’s words and by the sincerity in his eyes. I had been at a complete standstill in my investigation, with no idea of where to turn next when Cody had tracked me down. Maybe being found by these wolves would turn out to be a good thing if they could help me track down Evelyn’s killers and get justice for her.

  “Thank you,” I told him quietly. “Could you help me to locate her remains? I want to plan a service for her, to say goodbye.” I tried to finish my sentence without breaking down in tears in front of these guys, but I couldn’t get the words out without my voice breaking at the end. I cleared my throat in embarrassment, and both of them pretended that I was not about to have an emotional breakdown. I appreciated that and tried to pull myself together.

  Austin turned to James. “I’m sure we could coordinate that. James, could you make the necessary arrangements?”

  “I’ll see what I can do,” James answered without any expression on his face.

  I looked at him doubtfully, but his answer seemed to satisfy Austin, because he nodded at James.

  “And her house?” I added. I didn’t want some stranger going through all of her things.

  “She didn’t name you executor of the estate?” Austin asked, looking confused.

  “She didn’t want my name associated with hers in any way, in case her old pack came looking. She didn’t want anything of hers to lead them to me.”

  James nodded. “That was smart. If she had named you, you would have been my first stop on my investigation.”

  Austin gave him an unreadable look. “If she didn’t name anyone specifically as an heir, we can make sure the house goes to the pack. We will help you to go through her things and decide what to do when you are ready, there’s no rush.”

  I was relieved. “Thank you.”

  Austin drummed his fingers on the table top and changed the topic of conversation. “So, the reason you were hiding on base was from Evelyn’s old pack, and not from us?”

  I was surprised, they knew that I had been hiding on base?

  “I didn’t even realize there was a pack here,” I answered honestly.

  “Hmmm…I think we are going to change our plans. I am going to have you stay here for a while until we can determine if Evelyn’s old pack knows about you,” Austin told me as he tapped his fingers on the desk thoughtfully.

  As much as I wanted to protest, I was also afraid to go home alone. I was uncomfortable with the idea of staying here. I was not the type of person who belonged in a fancy mansion. I was also uncomfortable knowing that the mansion was full of wolves that I had yet to meet. I really just wanted to go home and snuggle up in my own bed, but that was not an option.

  “I could stay at a hotel or something. I don’t want to impose,” I suggested cautiously.

  “I know this place must look kind of small, but I promise we can find some space for you,” Austin stated with a sparkle in his eye.

  He turned to James. “Can we have Cody take her back home to get her things?”

  “Cody’s busy.”

  “Who else do we have?”

  James winced. “The twins should be done with classes for the day.”

  Austin groaned.

  “It’s them or one of us,” James pointed out.

  “You’re going to have to talk with them first,” Austin told him. James nodded and rose. He headed towards the door without another glance at me.

  It was just me and Austin alone in the office now as James closed the door behind him.

  Austin cleared his throat and looked awkward. “I know you may have heard the worst about our kind, but I want you to realize that not all packs are like that. There are still a lot of packs out there who are old fashioned and believe that we should be ruled by violence and instinct, but my pack is unique. I’m trying to prove that we can evolve, we can be better.”

  That explained why he was so passionate about how he ran his pack. He was essentially running a social experiment in an attempt to convince wolf society that they needed to change.

  “I understand. I want you to know that I am on board with the mission, and I will do whatever I can to help,” I told him readily. It was true. From everything that he had t
old me about his pack and his mission, this was something that I wanted to be a part of. I was hopeful that I could find a place to belong here in the pack.

  He smiled at me. “I appreciate that. James should be back with the twins in a moment. I have to warn you that they can be a little rambunctious at times, but their hearts are in the right place.”

  “They are adults, right?” I asked hesitantly.

  He barked out a laugh. “Yes, it will be quite obvious they are adults when you meet them.”

  I blushed. I had one more question that I absolutely needed to ask, but I had no idea how to approach Austin with the issue. I was really embarrassed to be asking at all, but I wanted to be prepared.

  “Um, so you know, Evelyn had told me some stories from her old pack and how they treated the females. I have to ask…am I safe here, in the mansion with other wolves around?” My voice ended in a whisper, and I could feel my face burning in embarrassment.

  Austin started to reach out for me, then stopped when he saw me flinch. He dropped his arms to his sides. “I’m sorry about anything that happened to Evelyn, or to you in the past, but I promise you that no one in my pack will harm you or lay a hand on you.” He spoke softly, a worried look in his eye.

  “This pack is different for a lot of reasons, but one thing I will tell you is that no one was born into this pack. Everyone here was hand-selected to join by me.”

  I was surprised. “I thought your pack was hereditary unless you were traded to a different pack.”

  “Normally, it is. But I claimed a small amount of land and built my pack from nothing. I trust every single person in this pack. They are all good men. And now I have a good woman here as well.” He smiled at me encouragingly.

  I hoped I would be able to meet his expectations. I wasn’t exactly sure what I would be doing for the pack, but I had the impression he didn’t have a clear plan either.

  “James should have briefed the twins by now. Let’s go introduce you to them.” I stood up and headed to the door with him close behind me. I started to open the door, and he pulled it open the rest of the way and held it so that I could step through.