Finding Somewhere to Belong

by C. C. Masters

  “Oh, it’s not like that between us. I wouldn’t go out on a date with either one. I would be worried about the other being hurt.”

  Quinn let out a loud laugh. “Haven’t you ever heard of #whychoose?”

  I shook my head no.

  “Those boys share everything in their lives. Do you think they would draw the line at a female?”

  “Uh, yeah?” I was starting to get uncomfortable with Quinn’s bantering, so I tried to change the subject. “I’m sorry you had to get all of this when I only needed one outfit for today,” I told him as I motioned to the bed covered in rejected outfits.

  “No worries, girl,” he said and winked. “I will just put the rest of this in your closet, except those pants; we will never be able to make those work.” He shuddered and flung my closet door open.

  “Ahhh!” he let out a dramatic scream.

  “What?” I asked and tried to rush over in a panic. I tripped and almost fell flat on my face but managed to make it to the doorway. When I looked in the closet, I was expecting to see a dead body, or maybe a giant spider waiting to devour us; instead, I just saw one of my hoodies opposite two pairs of my shoes in the closet.

  He turned to me with his hand over his heart. “You’ve been robbed!”

  I just laughed. “No, I just have everything else in the drawers.”

  He went through them dramatically. “Ahhh!” he let out another dismayed, high-pitched scream. “Honey, no one told me that you were like…a…a refugee.”

  I just stared at him with my mouth open. “You have nothing!” he told me emphatically.

  “Well, I still have some of my things at home, but this is most of it. I don’t really need a lot because I wear hospital-provided scrubs to work every day.”

  “Ahhh!” This time the scream was more horrified but still just as high-pitched.

  He held out his hands to grasp mine. “Don’t worry, honey. We can fix this,” he told me, holding my hands tightly.

  “Umm…” I started out, very embarrassed at this point. “I don’t really have a lot of money to spend on clothes right now. I just bought a house, and I still have student loans -”

  “Don’t worry, I have one of Austin’s credit cards. It’s my job to make sure the pack stays well-dressed,” he assured me.

  “Well, maybe you should check with Austin before you do anything…” I told him uncomfortably. I really didn’t need a bunch of new clothes, and I definitely didn’t want to make it look like I was taking advantage of Austin’s generosity.

  Quinn walked over to pick up his phone. “Let’s talk basics.”

  “Ummm -”

  I have never been so happy to hear a knock on my door. “We’re busy!” Quinn yelled.

  “We’re not!” I tried to hobble to the door as quickly as I could before the interruption changed their mind and left. I flung open the door to see Cody.

  “Cody! I am so excited you’re here!” I said enthusiastically.

  “Anna, wow, you look amazing,” Cody told me. “Not that you don’t always look amazing,” he added cautiously.

  “Cody!” Quinn yelled from behind me. “Were you aware this poor girl does not own any clothing?”

  “Umm...” Cody looked at me uneasily. “She’s been wearing clothing every time I’ve seen her.”

  “Well, that is just unfortunate for you,” Quinn said snarkily. I turned even redder.

  “Did you need me for something?” I asked Cody, hoping he would say yes.

  “Yeah, I came up to see if you were ready for the meeting. We need to leave in a couple minutes.”

  Thank god, I thought to myself. I turned to Quinn. “Do you think we could work on this another day?”

  He nodded and seemed to have calmed down a little. “I’ll just put the rest of these clothes in your closet and be on my way.”

  “Thank you,” I told him, very relieved.

  I stepped closer to Cody. With my three-inch heels on, I was only a few inches shorter than him. It was strange to look at him from this angle.

  I held out my arm for him. “Would you mind? I haven’t had much practice in these shoes, and I don’t think falling down the stairs would make a good impression on the pack.”

  He chuckled. “Yeah, that would cause a lot of problems if you showed up to the meeting covered in bruises with broken bones.”

  We left Quinn, and I managed to make it down the stairs and into the waiting limo without incident.

  “This is fancy,” I told Quinn as he followed me into the limo.

  He smiled. “We need to arrive in style and make a good impression.”

  I agreed. “Is Austin coming?”

  “Yeah, he should be here in a minute.”

  We sat in awkward silence. “Soooo…” I asked. “Do you have any advice for me? What can I expect?”

  He looked more worried than Austin had. “Just be honest, you don’t know anything about your birth family. That’s going to be their major concern.”

  “What about what James said? That they are going to want to put me in a well-established pack?” I twisted my hands in my lap nervously.

  Cody ran his hand through his hair. “We were waiting to talk to you about this until we were on our way there because we didn’t want to give you too much time to think about it.” He paused, and the suspense was killing me.

  “Tell me what?” I demanded.

  “Let’s wait until Austin gets here.”

  I groaned to myself. I couldn’t wait any longer. It was killing me already. I was just about to open my mouth and tell him that when the limo door opened and Austin climbed in.

  I was practically bouncing in my seat, waiting for him to get situated. Finally, I decided I had waited long enough. “What’s the secret plan that I had to wait for you to get here to find out about?” I burst out.

  Austin gave Cody a dirty look. Cody just shrugged. “She asks a lot of questions.”

  “It’s not a secret plan,” Austin told me and sighed.

  I really could not handle the suspense. I just wanted to scream out, TELL ME!!!! But I managed to hold it in and say, “What’s the non-secret plan, then?”

  Austin and Cody both chuckled. Austin must have realized that I was going to jump across the seat and strangle him if he didn’t just tell me because he took a deep breath.

  “We just wanted to give you an easy option. I think that if you told them that you were going to be mated to someone in our pack, it would be accepted more easily by the council. It would give you a legitimate reason for you to stay in our pack.”

  My jaw dropped. “But wouldn’t I actually need to follow through with that? I can’t just lie to the council; they’ll know. And who would get stuck with me?”

  Austin and Cody looked at each other. Cody motioned for Austin to continue. Austin tapped his fingers on his thigh. “It would be the most binding if you chose me. I’m the pack-master, so it would make the most sense to them.”

  “Wouldn’t that prevent you from being able to get a real mate, though?” I asked, confused. “I couldn’t let you sacrifice your future for me.”

  Austin gazed at me sadly. “My father would absolutely support our claim on you if I told him you were my future mate.”

  I just stared at him in complete shock. “Do you think he would believe it, though?”

  “Is it really that outlandish for the two of us to have something together?” Austin asked quietly.

  “No,” I said slowly. “It’s just that I’m -” I gestured at myself at a complete loss of words. “Weird? Wouldn’t he be upset that you picked me out of everyone? Plus, I guess I just assumed that I was going to be single the rest of my life, so you are really throwing me for a loop here.”

  Cody looked very uncomfortable to be in the middle of the conversation but spoke up then. “But you don’t have to agree if you aren’t ready, or if you aren’t sure.”

  I nodded. “That’s a huge decision, and I wouldn’t want to make it while I’m under duress.
I would rather make a decision like that because I want to, not because I have to.”

  I watched Austin carefully. I couldn’t tell if he made the offer because he was interested in me or felt obligated to ‘save me’. He was smart guy, so I’m sure that he realized by now that I was damaged in some way and felt bad about handing me over to another pack to be abused again.

  A sudden darkness came over me. If I was going to be sent to a pack like Evelyn had told me about, I wouldn’t go.

  I would do whatever it took to prevent that, even if it cost me my life. I looked at Austin again. If it were a choice of being in a loveless relationship because the man felt obligated to be with me vs. death, what would I choose?

  I’m not sure that I could go to my death if I had another way out. I liked Austin’s pack, and I liked being here. Maybe this was my only option. How would he feel about that? Knowing that I chose him because my only other option was death? He might not care if he didn’t want to be with me either. What kind of relationship would we have? Helpless tears filled my eyes, and I stared out the window to try and hide them before they fell.

  I decided I would try to reason with the council first. If they wouldn’t listen, I would take Austin up on his offer. He may not ever love me, but he would care for me as a friend.

  Austin was texting, and Cody was pretending to read something on his phone but watching me out of the corner of his eye with concern.

  “What are you thinking?” he asked me quietly.

  Austin looked up at me to hear my answer to Cody’s question. “I just…” I swallowed. “There’s a part of me that just wants to go back to my old life and pretend none of this happened. But another part of me recognizes that I feel like I belong with your pack. I’ve never felt a part of something before. I’ve always been alone, and I’ve always been on the outside.”

  My voice broke, and I stopped speaking to touch the inner corner of my eyes to prevent any tears from falling.

  Cody reached out to hold my hand, and Austin reached in his inner suit pocket to hand me a cloth handkerchief. I didn’t even know modern men carried cloth handkerchiefs; it made me smile a little.

  “I’m just not sure that I can be a mate to anyone. I’m not…” I didn’t know how to communicate what I wanted to say. “It’s difficult for me to let people touch me. I’m working on it, but -” I shrugged, not sure what else to say.

  I don’t think Austin or Cody knew how to respond to what I said. I highly doubt they understood what I was trying to tell them. I was too afraid to look in either of their eyes. I just wanted to hide. I didn’t want them to know that something was seriously wrong with me, but I didn’t want Austin to make a commitment he would regret later. It was only a matter of time before he figured out how messed up I was.

  I dabbed a little at my eyes, trying not to smear my makeup or get anything on the handkerchief. I attempted to hand it back to Austin, but he pressed it back in my hand.

  “Keep it. It’s going to be a rough day.” He gave me a gentle smile. “Let’s talk about the council members you’re going to meet today.”

  During the rest of the car ride, all three of us pretended that our conversation had never happened. The guys told me about the council members who were going to be interviewing me, and I tried to take in as much as I could, but I was feeling very scared and overwhelmed.

  Chapter 15

  We arrived at our destination sooner than I would have liked; never would have been preferable. I was surprised when the location for the meeting was a hotel. I looked at Cody with a question in my eyes.

  He answered with a smile, “Wolves don’t like to meet in another wolf’s seat of power. The council would not want to meet on Austin’s home base or a council member’s territory because it would be too much under someone else’s control.”

  Austin nodded. “It’s better for the pack as well. Having strange wolves on our land and trying to assert their authority over us while in our home can cause a lot of tension and aggression that is better avoided.”

  I nodded. I would not really want the council in our house either. Well, technically, it was Austin’s house, I reminded myself. I was just a guest there, and I could only stay as long as he wanted me there. I tried to push that thought away because I needed to be strong and confident, not sad and depressed.

  We were met at the entrance by several men who gave off a ‘bodyguard’ vibe. They ushered us into a comfortable meeting room with refreshments on a table in the back corner of the room.

  I stared at the selection of fruit and pastries. My stomach was churning, and I felt nauseated, but I also did not want to show weakness in front of these guys. I’m certain that if they heard my stomach growling, it would ruin the strong and confident vibe I was going for.

  Austin noticed me eying the snacks and gave me an encouraging nod. “Better get something to hold you over until we get back home.”

  I sighed and walked over to pick up a pastry. I hoped I had enough time to digest it; having it come back up mid-interview would be even worse than my stomach growling. Austin and Cody had not sat down in any of the chairs and remained standing, but my shoes were uncomfortable to stand in, so I had a seat and nibbled on my pastry. The guys were both casually working on their phones. I hoped I was pulling off a similar casual look, but I doubted it.

  I finished my pastry and started eyeing the drinks next. I already had way too much anxiety to be able to handle any coffee right now, but a bottle of water would be a good choice.

  I could sip on the water if the interview got too intense, and I needed a second to gather my thoughts. I had just made it back to my chair with a bottle when the door opened and a man entered.

  Right away, I could tell he was related to Austin. They looked so much alike, but upon closer inspection I realized that he did not look old enough to be Austin’s father. Maybe a brother?

  Austin shook his hand and greeted him warmly. “Father, good to see you.”

  So, this was Austin’s father? I was confused. This man only looked a few years older than Austin; he was certainly not in his forties or fifties.

  “I wish it was under better circumstances. Cody, good to see you.” He shook Cody’s hand as well and then turned to me. “And this must be Anna.”

  I stood and smoothed my skirt down before stepping over to them. I walked very carefully so I would not trip and fall; that was the last thing I needed right now. I tried to hold my chin up and shoulders back so I would not slouch and attempted to appear graceful.

  Hopefully, I came off as being confident and not creepy. I beamed at him. “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Zilker.”

  “Likewise. I have to admit, I am very curious about you. You are the talk of the community right now. Austin had not mentioned how stunning you were, though.”

  I turned bright red and looked down at the floor. “Thanks.” I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to react to comments like that; they just made me feel uncomfortable. It didn’t seem possible that he meant it genuinely, unless wolves had different beauty standards than humans did.

  “And she’s modest.” He turned to Austin. “You really have found a unicorn.”

  All of us were saved from replying as three more men entered the room. None of them was as friendly as Austin’s father, but they all greeted us politely.

  I was introduced to Mr. Phillips, who was in control of the territory which bordered ours on the North Carolina border and extended to Georgia. He looked to be in his mid-thirties and very stern with dark hair and a beard.

  Mr. Richardson had a huge chunk of territory that included a large part of the Midwest. He looked about forty, had a red face, and I got a whiff of alcohol on his breath when he insisted on pulling me close to air kiss both my cheeks.

  Mr. Morgan had a territory that included California and Oregon. He was only here because he had been in negotiations with Mr. Zilker when the news of me had reached both of them. He was young and looked to be around his mid-twenties with highlig
hted blond hair and a surfer vibe. He made me feel uncomfortable when he looked me over, but Austin quickly directed his attention elsewhere by asking how the negotiations were going.

  I was grateful to have both Cody and Austin by my side. We were still waiting for one more person to round out the council I was going to be questioned by today.

  A man with dark hair and similar coloring to James entered the room. This had to be James’ cousin, Mr. Reed. I was really hoping he had a more pleasant disposition than James did, but my hopes were quickly dashed when he looked at me derisively and said. “Are we ready to get this over with?”

  The council members all took seats on one side of a conference table. I guess that meant we were supposed to sit on the other side. I followed Austin and Cody to that side of the table, but Mr. Reed stopped them. “We just need Anna for this, thank you.”

  I looked at Austin in a panic. Austin’s attention was on his father. “She would like the support of her pack during this event.”

  “Sorry, Austin,” Mr. Zilker said. “We haven’t decided if she is going to be part of your pack. Right now, she is a lone wolf without representation.”

  Austin and Cody frowned. This did not look like it was going well, and my interview had not even started yet. My heart started to beat faster with apprehension.

  “She’ll be fine,” Mr. Morgan told them. “You can wait right outside, and we will return her to you in the same condition she is in now.”

  Austin and Cody exchanged glances. It did not look like they had any choice but to leave me here by myself without disobeying the council. From what they told me earlier, that would be a huge faux pas and could negatively affect the council’s judgement.

  Austin reached out and gave my hand a squeeze. Cody gave me a supportive smile, and then they both headed out the door and left me alone with the five big bad wolves sitting at the table in front of me.

  “Please have a seat, Anna,” Mr. Zilker said.

  I pulled out a chair and tried to sit gracefully while trying to hide my shaking hands.

  “I believe all of us should have had enough time to look through the information that the Seaside pack submitted on Anna?” Mr. Morgan asked the rest of the council.