Water Witch
Page 49
Damn it, at the rate we were going, I’d never get a straight answer out of anyone. “Could you assholes stop being so vague and just tell me who you are, what’s going on, and why you’re even here?”
“My name is Emmanuel, and your mother is my sister, a succubus who has wed one of Satan’s lieutenants. The feud between the devils resulted in your kidnapping shortly after your birth. You are the first demon born of this emergence period. Until the shroud is removed, I won’t be able to tell which powers of your ancestry have awoken, but I expect you’ll have your fair share of all your heritage. Power tends to grow strong in the first born of every race during an emergence. Your loss was a great blow to my sister and the devil she wed. Their vengeance has changed the very face of all the devil’s hells.”
“He speaks the truth,” Clarence said. “You are a wanted child, and He knows this. This is part of why He is willing to cooperate. He does not like when families are broken.”
“He will outgrow that one of these days,” Emmanuel replied, his tone amused. “He still grows into his portfolio. Give Him a hundred years. He will be as much of an asshole as any angel.”
The angels laughed.
I frowned. “Isn’t that going to offend Him?”
“He is not so easily offended,” Clarence replied. “Ours is a twisted family. But you are not any relatives of ours, although there is an angel in your ancestry. Once the shroud drops, he will know his offspring’s offspring’s offspring’s offspring has had a child and you were hidden from him. He will show. That is his nature. He will show angry and ready to wage war, but that is his nature. That is why Paul and Derek have both come. They will be able to prevent any unfortunate misunderstandings when he arrives. I do recommend that you take care, Emmanuel. He will be enraged upon his arrival.”
“I understand that well enough. Rage over this has been something we have long endured. Anyway, I’m one of those offspring’s offspring’s offspring or however many offsprings it is, so he won’t flip at me. I make no promises about anyone else in the room. I’ll get a hug.” Emmanuel smirked. “And you’ll all be upset because he won’t hug you.”
“You are a terrible demon,” Clarence muttered.
“Yes, I’m so terrible for having an affectionate great-great-grandfather. That’s the problem with angels. Once they join the family, you just can’t get rid of them. I really need to ask my great-great-grandmother what she was thinking joining with an angel.”
Paul laughed. “She loved him, and he loved her enough to conspire with a demon to produce children. That is how these things work. But, we should return to the subject at hand, as we are confusing your niece, who does deserve the truth of this matter. Once we drop the shroud, this room will become very crowded. Her father will surely show, and he will bring her mother, and the angels of her line will also arrive.”
My eyes widened. “Angels is plural. There’s more than one?”
“You have six angels in your line. They are all named.”
Something about Paul’s statement chilled me. “Named?”
“Michael. Gabriel. Lucifer before his fall. These are only three of the named angels. They are not the angels of your line. Lucifer has never birthed any children and cannot. It is a price of his power, just like He can no longer have any children, although His child’s portfolio passes from human to human every emergence. Right now, His child’s portfolio slumbers. The previous holder of the portfolio did not hold it long before it fled him. He proved unworthy.”
Emmanuel frowned. “The portfolio fled?”
“Less it fled, more that it was an echo of what it should have been. We do not know who possesses the portfolio now—or if the portfolio will reawaken this emergence. Times have changed. He only smiles when we ask Him, as even we are blocked from the future’s secrets. His next child already pleases Him. Which worries us.”
“Why does that worry you?” I asked.
“He enjoys when the unexpected comes to Earth. As Emmanuel said, He has not yet fully grown into His portfolio. Truth be told, we hope He remains as He now is. This change has been good for this Earth. It gives us hope the End of Days will take longer arriving. Nothing is eternal, but all beings wish to continue to exist, even us angels. I suspect His next child is not a son but a daughter, which would match well to the devil having a daughter of the spirit if not of the body. This emergence, it appears as though women will change the world. This is not a bad thing. Men have dominated most of humanity’s history. We shall see what comes of change.”
“Terror,” Juan muttered. “Women are terrifying creatures.”
Dean laughed. “I can’t say he’s wrong. Our mother is most certainly a terrifying creature.”
“I’m doing both of you idiots a favor. I won’t tell Mom you said that. You owe me.”
The brothers sighed.
“Could we please lay this out for me in a clear and concise manner, one that doesn’t require me to use math or spell anything, please?”
“We can help you with the knowledge you were denied in your youth,” Paul replied. “Modifying your memories so you have the knowledge of basic written language and mathematics is within our capabilities. Usually, we allow humans to learn such things on their own, but this impairment is too significant for the other challenges you face. It will be done after we remove the shroud and handle the aftermath of so many upset beings teleporting into the same space. I suspect your grandfather will wish to handle your lost education. Also, please do just address him as your grandfather. It gets complicated trying to track the number of generations.”
“Okay. This won’t offend him?” I asked, not sure how anyone would want to be addressed like that by me without having met me before.
“No. It will not. Angels take family very seriously. He will call you his granddaughter with pride because you are proof the woman he once loved had lived. She is long gone from this Earth. Her seed of life has yet to be replanted, but I expect she will find herself with a winged lover in her next future. For now, she rests safe in His care. Some souls have active afterlives, some slumber. She rests for now. While your grandfather is willing to wage war without hesitation, his love is equal to his aggression. He is one of the more aggressive angels, a general of His army. That is why there will be trouble for a time. A lieutenant of the hells and a general of His army in the same room will be entertaining for some of us.”
Emmanuel raised his hand. “I will be very amused.”
“You will also have to keep your grandfather from attempting to slaughter your brother-in-law.”
“I’m not worried about it. Elize will be crying and trying to cuddle with Layla, and I suspect my niece will not react well, there will be a fight, and it’ll be chaos. Her father’s parenting instincts will kick in, and he’ll recognize Layla is his descendant and try to calm the situation. If you could try to resist murdering your parents when they come into your space, that would be appreciated. That instinct is your father’s fault, and he’ll be able to teach you how to control it. You do that because you have no idea how to distinguish friend from foe, so you eject everyone from your space.” Emmanuel grinned, and he rubbed his hands together. “Do make sure your dampeners are good, Paul. She’ll have a lot of rogue instincts we’ll have to teach her how to control.”
“I will make the dampeners last a period of three years with a gradual decay,” Paul replied, “Six months will not be sufficient with her heritage, and we would not wish for her to damage her male in her enthusiasm.”
Dean sighed. “I’m going to be Layla’s male in this family, aren’t I?”
“Yes,” the angels and the incubus replied.
I laughed. “Your family seems determined to call me your mare. We’re even now. If you take me to the art store again to look around, I’ll suggest they should call you my stallion.”
“You don’t even need to negotiate that. If you want to go to the art store, I’ll take you to the art store.”
I wasn’t sure w
hat to say to that, and of my options, I picked Xena as the one most likely to offer somewhat reasonable advice on how to react.
Xena smiled. “Just say thank you.”
“Thank you, Dean.”
“You’re welcome. If you would like to hide behind me for the initial chaos, I should be able to withstand a few cranky angels, a devil, and whatever else shows up when the shroud drops.”
“Perhaps you should transform first,” Emmanuel suggested. “Even a devil hesitates to attack a unicorn, especially when there are other unicorns in the room. Unicorns have a reputation.”
That sounded interesting. “They do? What sort of reputation?”
“They hold grudges for longer than most beings, and they are willing to use the weapon attached to their head whenever they’re annoyed. Unicorns decided long ago they weren’t going to participate in the war between law and chaos or good and evil. They also decided they’d bang heads together on both sides if necessary. That’s why they’re battlefield shepherds. They’re neutral more than anything. The whole nonsense about them being pure beings is just that: nonsense. They just look pure and innocent until they’re hungry.”
“I was warned they had special dietary requirements.”
“Once the shroud drops, you will not find their special dietary requirements a bother. If anything, you’ll like it. Your heritage makes a matter of souls serious to you, and it’ll appeal to you to shepherd souls to their proper destinations despite needing to take a nibble or two from the body. Your devilish ancestry will make it so you have other tricks to dispose of the bodies and perform your other duties post conversion. And, should your male expire prematurely, you can shake off the conversion at your will.”
Dean frowned at that news.
“I can shake it off?”
“You’re a blend of devil, demon, angel, and a lot of other things. If you’ve got access to your angelic powers, you’ll be able to purge your new unicorn DNA without issue. That’s an angelic ability. You might even be able to teleport in time.”
“Okay, Dean. I have to give you some credit. You’ve gone and gotten yourself ensnared by one hell of a woman.” Xena giggled. “I can’t wait until Mom finds out you’re dating a daughter of the heavens and hells.”
Derek pressed the palms of his hands together and held his hands close to his chest as though he prayed. “Actually, she is more like a daughter of Hell. She was just born on Earth because a new demonic seed of life became available to the Lord of Lies. He rewarded his lieutenant, Layla’s father, with the seed. Had no seeds been available, she would have been born a human. But He offered His fallen angel a new seed. That is kin to giving him a new child. He forged a new angel that day, too. I suppose you can consider them sisters. She was the first angel born of this emergence, too.”
“What does that mean for me?” I asked.
“Very little. You are a demon, but the Lord of Lies offers his demons many freedoms. It is his nature. You have the free will to do as you please. When the End of Days comes, it will become a battle like none other, and demons, devils, and angels will have to decide what roles they play. There is no record of what must be during the End of Days. Nobody knows except Him, and those are secrets He will hold until all has been lost and the seeds of life are planted anew, and the cycle begins again. But it seems those days will be a long time in coming. You will be able to enjoy your life as you want with your stallion, have your children as you want, and live. I will not tell you if any of your children will become demons, devils, or angels. Some things are best left discovered naturally.”
“I like that you used the word children. Children is plural.” Dean grinned. “I don’t want a number. Knowing there will be more than one is good enough for me.”
The angels snorted, and Derek replied, “You will wed a succubus, and they are simply unhappy if they do not have their offspring around. As soon as you get rid of one, you will have another, and truth be told, it won’t be long after they have learned some independence, she will desire another child. You will have many foals, and it will be rare times you do not have one, two, or even ten running around at your feet causing you trouble.”
My brows shot up at the thought of having more than one child around while Dean kept grinning. “I like this math,” he replied.
Juan shook his head and sighed. “You are even worse than Dad.”
“There’s nothing wrong with Dad. He loves Mom, and he’s always loved us. Dad is a most excellent example of a good father.”
“He speaks the truth,” Clarence announced.
Well, that was something. I couldn’t stop my jealousy from surging, but I did my best to ignore it. “And my father?”
Emmanuel snickered. “Your stallion will be kept busy making sure your family doesn’t take you into custody without him. Devils are not usually all that skilled with social grace when it comes to their offspring’s partners. I’ll try to remind your parents you’ll be more comfortable if they take your stallion along for the trip, too. Especially as you grow more into your powers, you’ll probably get rather unhappy to be separated from him. My sister gets very irritable when she’s separated from her mate. Once a succubus bonds and wants to stick around, good luck getting rid of her. Incubi like me don’t tend to bond as readily, but we can figure out the loyalty thing under the right conditions—or if we have an angelic slave driver around keeping us on the straight and narrow.”
The angels snickered, and Clarence stretched out his wing and smacked Emmanuel with it. “You would be among the first incubi approached for a triad, and you know this.”
“I like threesomes a lot.”
“Of course you do. You’re an incubus,” the angel muttered. “If you had your way, every day would be a public orgy.”
“This is true. Threesomes make dedication worth it, and there’s little as enjoyable for us as having our way with an angel.”
Some things I didn’t want to know. Listening to someone who was supposedly my uncle flirt with an angel ranked fairly high in things I didn’t want to do. “Please stop. I don’t care if you want to go bang an angel, but please do so where I’m not forced to listen to it.”
Emmanuel laughed. “Well, that’s all the evidence I need that you’re definitely going to be the white sheep of the family. If your wings come in white to match your unicorn, I’ll be amused. I’ll also enjoy taunting my sister about her unique daughter. We’ll have a good time, especially if we offend your stallion. Unicorns are great entertainment when offended. If we stole you off to one of the pits of hell for a visit, he’d storm the place to get you back.”
“Yes, I would. Please don’t. I would become covered in soot. Do you know how hard it is to remove soot stains?”
“Soot is a good look on me. So is a pretty woman. Angels are even better on me.” Emmanuel leered at Paul. “Find yourself a human lady and pay me a visit. I’ll keep you both company.”
“Heaven help me,” the angel replied. “What did I do to deserve that?”
“I want to taste your rainbow.”
Wow. I opened my mouth, closed it, and frowned, not sure how to handle being related to a shameless pervert.
“You will be a shameless but dedicated pervert within three years, so try not to be too upset with your uncle,” Paul said. “You will get used to it. As far as incubi go, he is a friendly one. He is a good candidate for a triad despite his perversions. He is dedicated to his offspring and will not create new offspring until his are fully grown. To his standards, fully grown tends to be his offspring’s entire lifespan. He has only had human children, as he has not been granted a new seed, and he does not wish demonic offspring enough to take one from a more ambitious demon.”
“Can we go back to beating art counterfeiters? I’m much more comfortable with that conversation.”
“That is your father in you. He’s much more comfortable with violence than affection. Your mother has worked wonders with him, but he does still prefer a good fight.”
Dean laughed. “Don’t beat up your uncle, Layla. While it’s tempting, he’s part of your family.”
Helpless over how to handle the situation, I turned to Xena for help.
“Don’t look at me, Layla. I have an entire herd of relatives. Once that shroud drops, it will be chaos.”
“Can I run away now?”
“No, but you can hide behind me. First, we reclaim your family. After you have a chance to meet them and my family, we’ll go beat those who are responsible for your mistreatment. I plan on enjoying it, and I don’t care if I ruin the reputation of the entire unicorn race in the process.”
“He means that,” Clarence said.
Dean meant a lot of what he said, something I’d figured out without the angel’s help. “Am I reclaiming them, or are they participating in a hostile invasion? I’m not sure I want to deal with a hostile invasion. They might damage my painting supplies.”
“That’s a good point. Emmanuel, I don’t suppose you can do the responsible thing and call her parents so there isn’t a feud in the room? Those supplies are treasures to her and damaging them or her painting would upset her.” Dean narrowed his eyes. “I will have an issue if she is upset because her work is damaged.”
“I have seen a lot of things in my long life, and I’m ashamed to admit I’m concerned over what you will do if you have an issue.”
“That depends on how upset she becomes.”
If I let the unicorn do whatever he wanted, I worried there’d be bodies—bodies he would eat. “You don’t have to do that, Dean.”
“I don’t have to, but I’ll certainly enjoy it. If it makes you happy, I’ll present their heads on a silver platter for you.”