by T. Styles
“Not sure,” she shrugged as she rested her hand on top of mine. “Just know that we have to take care of each other now. My family stopped dealing with me after I got with Rufus. Said he was mentally unprepared for life and that I should leave him alone. I could never do it so they cut me off.”
My eyebrows rose. “So you want me to stay, in your house?”
“I need you to stay,” she replied, before drifting into a hard snore filled sleep.
****
My homemade breakfast potatoes were done and sitting on the table in a red ceramic bowl. The bacon was in the oven and I whipped up some blueberry biscuits that I planned to trickle with warm brown sugar butter when they were out the oven. I was humming a Marvin Gaye song while stirring eggs heavy with cheese, when a warm sensation flooded my belly, rising up toward my throat.
It was morning sickness.
Something I never had before.
Just as I was about to turn and run to the bathroom Jackie came up behind me. Her chin rested on my shoulder as she looked into the bowl. It felt awkward, like we were lovers. “I don’t know what I would do without you.” She seemed happy while secretly my mouth filled with vomit. All I wanted her to do was go back into the room so I could rush to the bathroom. I couldn’t even speak because she would know that something was in my mouth.
And how could I explain sickness?
“You hear me?” she asked.
I nodded.
“So you not talking this morning, grumpy?” she giggled as I heard her feet scurry across the kitchen floor. At least she was away from me. “That’s fine, as good as this breakfast smells you can be as quiet as you want.” When I heard the refrigerator open my jaw relaxed and vomit slapped into the egg bowl.
I was just about to toss it into the sink when she said, “I’m gonna do the eggs. You don’t make ‘em cheesy enough for me.” She had a block of cheddar in her hand and bumped me softly with her hips. “Go check on the biscuits.”
“I don’t think I like this batch,” I said softly. “The eggs smell bad.”
“Girl, I bought these the other day. Just check on the biscuits.”
I stood behind her, watching her pepper up the eggs and add more cheese, which eventually concealed my throw up even more. Not being able to hold back anymore, I ran to the bathroom and finished releasing the contents of my gut in the toilet.
****
I was four or five months pregnant, my belly was getting larger and the morning sickness all gone. The only thing I had to worry about now was Jackie and the constant attention she desired. I started to think that eating those eggs mixed with my bodily contents did some kind of voodoo thing on her. She seemed obsessed with me.
I slept with her so much that she was no longer use to sleeping by herself, even though most nights I wished she would. Sometimes I would lie on my left side and she would spoon me, which was cool until her hand rested on my growing belly one night. “Whoa, mama, getting big ain’t you?”
My eyes widened as I tried desperately to think of a lie. I could feel sweat forming around my hairline, my breath quickening and my heart pumping. I would have to tell her I was pregnant and pray she would believe it was by a stranger. And then I heard her snoring.
I was off the hook.
For now.
Rufus called a lot and talked to Jackie but I wasn’t allowed to answer the phone. The few times he wanted to speak to me I pretended to be in the bathroom or busy. My loyalty was with Jackie now and I didn’t want to disrespect by talking to him. It didn’t stop him from trying to reach me although he never could. These days it was about my baby and me.
I was focused.
As the weeks went by something else happened. Otis came over more; he said it was to check on us for Rufus. But I knew that was a lie. If the night ran long during his visits, we would wait Jackie out and sneak in a suck. One thing I liked about Otis was that he loved to eat pussy and would often jerk his dick as he licked me clean. His attention relaxed my spirits and I convinced him that flipping my clit was not doing his friend wrong. Because at least we weren’t having sex.
While his lips were pressed against my clit I would say stuff like, “You are such a good friend.” Moan. “This is so much better. And don’t worry, Rufus wouldn’t mind and I’ll never tell.” Moan. Moan. “Ummm, keep it right there.”
He seemed to want to please me and since I was pregnant with a child nobody knew about but Rufus, I welcomed his attention and touch. I was lonely and sleeping in the bed every night with Jackie was only good for warmth, but I wasn’t into women. And as far as I knew she wasn’t either.
His private lick sessions went on for days until one night, while lying in bed with Jackie I noticed she seemed restless. She shifted a lot, pulled the covers off of me, forcing me on the cool side of the bed alone. I didn’t know what was wrong but felt something was off. And then she said, “You fucking Otis ain’t you?”
I nodded yes in the darkness, not sure if she could see me.
“I know you’re his cousin but Rufus wouldn't like it, with Otis being married and all. Maybe you should stop it.”
Otis is married?
I swallowed the lump. The last thing I needed was her telling Rufus about me and Otis. “Then maybe we shouldn’t tell him, Jackie,” I said softly. “With him being locked up and all, no sense in making his days longer.”
She was quiet and I could hear my own heartbeat in my eardrums. Would she keep my secret? Suddenly I felt her kiss me on the back of my shoulder. “You’re so funny, Bernice. That’s what I love about you. Always willing to do what’s right for family.” She exhaled and covered my cold body with the sheet again. “So glad you’re here.”
Crazy bitch.
I didn’t stop being with Otis, just got more creative in how we saw each other. He was still allowed to stop by, so on those days he would fix her favorite drink—Harvey Wallbanger. A mixture of vodka, orange juice and Galliano, it always put her out after two drinks.
As the days crept by the only things that changed was the size of my belly and Jackie’s attitude. For some reason she took to spoiling me rotten, buying me new clothes, getting my hair done and even giving me money. I wasn’t sure if Rufus told her to be generous but I had a feeling that Jackie didn’t do anything she didn’t want.
I was showing so much now it was hard to buy baggy clothing big enough to hide my pregnancy. As I showered one day, and looked down, I noticed I could only see the tip of my big toes.
It was settled, I could no longer share Jackie’s bed.
On the night I made my decision I cleaned up the kitchen and decided to watch TV. Wearing the biggest sweatshirt I could find I tried to wait her out. It worked until about one o’clock in the morning. I was dozing off when she came out of her room, rubbing her eyes and yawning. “Cut the TV off, Bernice. I need you in bed.”
I continued to look at the TV, didn’t even bother to gaze her way. “I was thinking of staying up tonight.” I fluffed a pillow next to me. “Gonna watch Benny Hill.”
She laughed. “Well watch it in my room, silly.”
“You don’t like the TV on while you’re sleeping.”
She looked dead into my eyes and it was obvious she was no longer tired. “I’ll make an exception, now come to bed.”
This isn’t going to work. I have to get her use to not sleeping with me. “Jackie, please don’t be mad, but I’m gonna stay up and go to bed in my room. I think you need your space and I do too.” I smiled, realizing I looked dumb. “I hope you understand.”
Her body erected and her expression was cold. “So you don’t like sleeping with me? When you know how much I need you?”
I shrugged. “Just for a few nights that’s all.”
Yeah, until after I have this baby.
“I know you pregnant, Bernice,” she said with an attitude. It was like she could read my mind. “But what I don’t know is how you gonna tell Otis.”
“What…what
you talking about?”
“No use in lying. I had a feeling you were fucking him when Rufus was home, just didn’t say anything because Rufus can get bananas over the craziest things. You carrying his baby and anybody can see it.” She paused. “Now don’t make me wait…come to bed or get out of my house!” She turned around, pushed the door open and walked inside.
It looked like she entered the black abyss.
I wasn’t feeling this bitch coming at me hard. So for two minutes I thought about my options. I was done being a sucker and it was time I lived my life for me.
It didn’t take me long to remember that I was eighteen and unwanted. Where was I going to go? So I found myself cuddling against her sleeping body, a gut full of her husband’s baby rubbing against her back.
****
After days of cuddling and being Jackie’s personal toy, I was glad when she had to work the night shift. Some major publisher needed printed books and she was responsible for managing her team to ensure the quota was met.
While she was out I prepared a big dinner for Otis. There was steak, mashed taters and kale greens. The moment he came inside, smelling like he’d been at work all day, my pussy tingled.
As he ate his food, I looked over at him, a huge smile dressing my face. For a moment I imagined he was mine and this was our life. Our house. Our marriage. A strange thing was happening, I found myself falling for him even though we could never be together.
“Why you staring over here, mama?” he winked. “Want some dick or somethin’?”
“You always do know what to say to me.”
“I know what that pussy like too.”
I smiled and then allowed it to disappear. Swallowing I took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant, Otis,” I blurted out. “Have been for some time now.”
He placed the fork down. “Go on.”
“Now I don’t expect you to take care of—”
Otis broke out into laughter and it scared the hell out of me. What was funny about the baby I was trying to put off on him? “I started to let you finish but let me stop you now because I can’t take it.” He laughed so hard he was tearing up. “Bernice, I’m not able to have kids, woman.”
I frowned. “You a man. Why not?”
“Got hit in the penis with a bat at twelve, fucked up some of my internal organs.”
I imagined how that was possible but my brain was too foggy.
“And anyway, Rufus told me he planted that spawn months ago. So no need in putting it off on me.”
My eyes widened. “But…I…uh…” I was trying to clean up my lie but finding it impossible. The only reason I thought about saying he was the father was so that Jackie wouldn’t put me on the streets. I hadn’t counted on Rufus telling his best friend about the pregnancy. Besides, Otis never said anything despite all the time we spent together.
“Don’t be so surprised,” he continued tearing into his steak. “I know why you wanted me to be the father.” He talked with his mouth full of meat. “And because that pussy so sweet I’ll go along with it for the mean time. After tonight you can tell Jackie it’s mine. I’m okay with it.”
I was relieved and embarrassed all together. The guilt of what I was about to do, by lying and saying it was his baby, weighed on me. And still he was so calm.
When he finished eating he walked over to me, pulled and tugged my chair so that it was pointed outward, toward him. Once in front of me he dropped to his knees and raised my skirt. “Never lie to me or do something you know could ruin my life. If you do I’ll never talk to you again.”
I felt a sense of loss already.
Before I knew it he was sucking on my clit, getting it juiced up. My hands ran through his silky hair and all my troubles were over as he licked and flipped my pussy until I had an orgasm. When I was done he stood up and looked down at me. “Stand up, turn around and put your hands on the table.”
Feeling too dumb to do anything else, I obeyed. The next minute I was stuffed with dick from the back. I guess we were off the “pussy eating only” tip, and I was thankful because I needed him. I had the feeling that even though he had a wife, he needed me too.
He never talked about her much. I’m not even sure if they’re happy. All I know is that when we are together nothing else matters.
His cool hands remained on my hips as I received his dick massage. “This gonna work out just fine, girl. Wait and see.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
BERNICE
As the weather got cold, and snow piled up outside, I noticed Jackie got meaner.
Throughout the summer she was easy going and spoiled me so much I wondered was God finally giving me a break due to being born to awful parents. I don’t feel that way anymore. It’s like she knows that with the weather being bad she can treat me however she wants and what could I do?
I’m totally depended on her.
It was pitch black in the room. I was lying in her bed, my back faced against her back, It was too hard to spoon these days because being nine months pregnant meant my hard belly was pressed against her back, which irritated her. But still she wanted me in her bed, if nothing else for body warmth.
I was just about to dose off when I heard a squishy noise. At first the noise was soft and then it got louder, and was followed by her moaning. As the bed rocked lightly I finally understood what was happening. This nasty bitch was fingering her pussy.
With me next to her.
I didn’t mind holding her, because most nights I needed the connection myself, but I wasn’t into girls and would never be. Before now she never did anything like this and I was hoping she never would again.
Suddenly I heard her moan louder. It was heavier than the last sound so I figured she must’ve came. I was hoping she went to sleep but instead she turned around and placed her hand on my thigh.
Her fingers were creamy wet and it made my skin crawl.
I screamed inside.
I was about to get out of the bed thinking she wanted something else, instead she drifted off to sleep.
****
Otis came over the next day and shoveled snow out of the walkway. He and Jackie had been trying to get in contact with Rufus for days and were unsuccessful. When they called the prison they said no information could be given and Jackie made plans to go there next week to find out what was up in person.
I didn’t think about Rufus much. Otis gave me the attention I needed and when Jackie was around he played up our lie, that the baby was his and he couldn’t wait for it to come. Several times I thought I saw a hint of jealousy in her eyes as he doted over me. I think she wanted me to be alone and totally dependent, but he made it known that he liked my company although I didn’t understand why. We all agreed that Rufus couldn’t know about Otis and me but to tell you the truth I didn’t care if he did.
With Otis in my corner I was cool.
After enjoying hot dogs, fries and cold sodas we were all sitting on the sofa watching TV. I was lying on Otis, my head in his lap as he softly stroked my belly. I could feel Jackie’s prying eyes on me but I avoided them, doing all I could to dodge an argument. Sometimes she would make up things to fight about and I didn’t have the energy anymore.
Suddenly Jackie sat up and looked at Otis. “Ain’t you got to get home to your wife?“
My eyes widened because she never came at him so hard in the past.
“Damn, mama…why you rushing me out?” His eyes were still on the TV and his fingertips still cruising along the length of my pregnant belly. “You know I go home when I’m ready.”
She stood up, stomped toward her room and slammed the door. This time we both looked in the direction she walked. “What’s up with her?” I said, mostly to myself. “She been acting funky lately.”
He coughed, covered his mouth with the hand that touched me and rubbed my belly again. “She fuck you yet?”
I sat up and looked over at him. “Fuck me?” I repeated. “What you talking about, Otis?”
He laughed. “Don’t get me wrong, Jackie loves dick but she has a passion for pussy. Always has. And if you giving it to her she gonna be hooked and that’s when your real problems will begin.” He gazed into my eyes. “Hold up, you really didn’t know?”
I shook my head.
“Wow, I would’ve thought Rufus told you that before you moved here. If nothing else so you could be on the look out.”
“I…I don’t understand.”
“Me and Rufus met her while we were in middle school. She was in high school. But the three of us were best friends. She was dealing with Samantha, a lesbian who used to beat her ass. After Jackie got out of high school, she and Samantha bought this house together. We thought things were cool in their relationship until Jackie called us one night and said Samantha had broken her nose.”
He stopped talking but I hadn’t gotten all of my answers. “So what happened after that?”
“We took Samantha with us to stop them from fighting. Rufus dropped me off home and Samantha went with him. Let’s just say nobody ever saw her again and a few months later, when he turned 18, Rufus and Jackie were married.”
The hairs on the back of my neck rose. “Did he kill her? Samantha?”
He looked at me for a moment, not saying anything. “Don’t fuck with Jackie. Don’t let her touch you either. That’s a warning.”
I wanted more on Samantha but I could tell it wasn’t going to happen. “You don’t have to tell me not to sleep with her, I don’t go that way. With women I mean.”
He smiled. When I glanced down at his pants I noticed his dick was stiff. What was up with the people in this house? Everybody seemed to get horny for the strangest things.
Now that I think about it, me too.
“Now we got a situation I need you to take care of.” He looked down at his crouch, snaked is fingers through his pants and whipped out his dick. “Come here and fix it.”
