Finaly My Heart's Desire (Meant for Me Book 2)

by St. James, Brooke

  "How do you think you did on your finals?"

  "Fine, I think. My most difficult one was Wednesday, and I already got my grade back. I did well on that one, so I'm pretty confident with the ones I had yesterday and today."

  "Are you all done now?"

  "Yes ma'am, my last one was today."

  My hands were resting on the bar and she reached out and gave them a loving pat. "I bet that feels good. You'll have a nice little break until after the first of the year."

  "I was thinking about getting a job," I said.

  She regarded me with obvious surprise in her expression. "Really?"

  I shrugged. "I know I don't have to, but I thought it might be fun to work at a bookstore or something."

  "Is everything okay with you and Robin?" she asked.

  "Of course!" I answered, maybe a little too quickly.

  She started to ask me something, but just then we heard the door open. "We have sour cream!" I heard my brother yell. Thomas had Down Syndrome, and the familiar excitement in his voice over something as insignificant as sour cream, put a smile on my face. Thomas was such a sweet spirit that he could draw a smile from me no matter my mood. "And my sister, Emily's, car is here!" he added.

  "I'm in the kitchen, Thomas," I yelled.

  "Emilyyyy!" he exclaimed rounding the corner and catching sight of me for the first time. He always lifted his arms in a victorious pose when he got excited, and he crossed the kitchen to hug me with his arms straight up in the air with the small grocery bag, which I assumed contained sour cream, dangling from his hand.

  "Thomasss!" I returned, standing to hug him. The sour cream was still in his hand, and it pressed against my back as he squeezed me tightly. Thomas was strong, and my arms were still tender. I did my best not to grimace at his embrace.

  My dad was watching the whole exchange and I smiled at him even though it hurt. "Hey baby," he said.

  "Hey Dad."

  "My brother's marrying Carly and the girls are having a party tonight," Thomas said. He made no move to hand mom the sour cream, so she walked over and took it from him.

  "I'm one of those girls, remember?"

  "You're going to Carly's party?" he asked.

  "Of course she is," Mom said, chiming in. "She's one of Carly's bridesmaids."

  That earned one of Thomas's satisfied smiles. "Mom made black bean soup and we have sour cream."

  "It smells really good, but I think I'm eating dinner with Carly."

  Thomas was staring at me as if contemplating what he thought about my dinner plans when Mom changed the subject. "Emily's done with her finals," she announced.

  "That's great, honey," my dad said, reaching out to give me a hug. "How do you think you did?"

  "I did well. I was telling mom that I already found out my grade on my most difficult one, and it was good."

  "That's my girl," Dad said, patting me on the back. After he did that, he slid his hand over to my shoulder and gave me a loving squeeze. He meant it as a sweet gesture, but it hurt yet again, and it was with great effort that I did not shy away from his touch.

  Within a few minutes, my brother Micah's soon-to-be wife Carly came in. Regardless of how I felt about my brother's decision to marry so quickly, I could tell she really loved him, and it made me happy seeing that.

  We sat around the kitchen talking for a few minutes before Carly asked if I was ready to go. I had assumed everyone was meeting us there, but she said the others would be waiting for us at the restaurant. She told me on the way that the plan for the evening was to have dinner and then do a little pottery painting.

  I'd met the girls before. They were easy going, and I knew we'd have a good time together. There were only three bridesmaids, two girls she'd gone to college with, and me. Because they planned the wedding quickly, it was small and void of the usual pomp and circumstance. Rather than special ordering our bridesmaids dresses, we all met at a department store and bought them straight off the rack. I had been a bridesmaid two other times, and the dresses we were wearing for Carly's wedding were every bit as lovely as the special-order ones I'd worn before.

  Carly and I talked about the wedding the whole way to the restaurant. The wedding and reception were both being held at the church my parents had been attending for years. My brother and Carly went there now, so it was the obvious choice. The main sanctuary was gigantic, so they were using a couple of the smaller rooms for both the service and the reception because they only expected about a hundred guests. We talked about flowers, and food, and dresses, and all the other things discussed when a wedding is about to take place. That same conversation continued after we met up with her friends for dinner.

  I had a lot in common with Carly's friend Trish. She was a beautiful girl with red hair and freckles and a fun personality to match. She was a couple of years older than me, but she had graduated from the same college with a degree in English Lit, exactly what I was studying. We swapped stories about professors and things about the program we liked and didn't like. Carly's friend, Annie, was nice as well. I found myself having a lot of fun with all three of them. We laughed and made easy conversation all through dinner and into pottery painting.

  "Tell me about your boyfriend," Annie said while we were busy working on our pottery projects.

  I glanced up to find that she was directing her question to Trish. Trish shrugged. "He's a good guy."

  "Is it serious?" Annie asked.

  Trish shook her head. "I like him, but we haven't been dating all that long." She let out a little laugh. "Longer than Carly and Micah, though."

  "Ha ha, very funny," Carly said, with a you better knock it off expression that made Trish laugh.

  "I'm just messing with you," Trish said. She turned to Annie. "I like him and everything, but we're not making wedding plans."

  "What's his name?" Annie asked.

  "Shane."

  I wasn't sure why I chose to say what I said next—maybe I wanted to distract them from picking on Carly. But either way, I felt compelled to share a random piece of information at the mention of the name Shane.

  "I had a crush on a guy named Shane for the majority of my adolescence," I said.

  All three of them looked at me. "Seriously?" Carly asked.

  "Yeah. It was at least all of middle school and probably into high school—from like 11 to 14, or longer."

  "What happened?" she asked.

  "He was the center of my universe for the longest time, and one day, I professed my love only to realize he had no idea who I was."

  I recounted the whole thing with a huge, good-natured smile even though I remembered how devastated the 14-year-old me had been.

  "Aww, poor thing," Carly said.

  "I can't imagine anyone turning you down," Annie said sweetly.

  "Me neither, you're so gorgeous," Trish added.

  I smiled. "You guys are sweet, but he was older than me, and I probably looked a lot different back then. Anyway, I just remember him every time I hear the name Shane."

  "What was his last name?" Trish asked.

  "I don't even remember," I said, just in case by some crazy coincidence it happened to be the same guy she was dating. I knew that wasn't the case, but that's how scarred I was by the memory of Shane Rollins.

  We laughed and joked about old crushes, but thinking of Shane brought back waves of memories that I did my best to hide from the other girls. He was a little younger than my brother Micah, but he didn't go to the same high school, so they didn't know each other. His dad managed the YMCA where my best friend's family worked out when I was a kid, and I saw him every time I went there with her, which was often since we hung out all the time. I had it so bad for him, that by the time I got up the nerve to call on the phone and ask for him, I thought he would be happy to hear from me and would probably ask me out on my first date. I had the whole thing planned. I was whole-heartedly convinced that I would call, explain who I was, and Shane Rollins would ask me if I wanted to be his girlfriend rig
ht then and there.

  It didn't happen like that at all.

  The memory of that dreaded phone call was etched into my brain forever. When I finally got up the nerve to call the YMCA and ask for him, he got on the phone, and I spent three or four minutes trying to explain to him who I was. I went into detail, describing what I looked like and what time of day I usually saw him. He had no idea and even went so far as to say he thought it was a prank call. At one point in the terrible, horrible conversation, I said, "Remember? You told me I had pretty eyes?" only to have him laugh and say, "Stop messing around! Is this Isabel?" Who the heck was Isabel and why did he not remember telling me I had pretty eyes?

  Anyway, it was over three years of my life wasted on a stupid crush, which culminated in the most horrifying phone conversation of my entire life. I had a sudden loss of interest in going to the YMCA after that.

  I hoped Trish had better luck with her Shane than I did with mine.

  Chapter 3

  "I had a really good time tonight," I said to Carly, who was giving me a ride back to my parents' house when we were done painting pottery.

  "Me too," she said. "Thank you for coming and for being a part of everything."

  "I really am happy for you and Micah," I said. "It's good to see him happy."

  She smiled at me from across the console. "We should all get together again sometime. Trish and Annie both said how much they liked hanging out with you."

  "They're both really sweet," I said.

  She nodded. "Annie's gonna take my room when I move into Micah's place next week, so she and Trish will be roommates."

  "I don't think I knew you and Trish were roommates," I said. I didn't know that much about Carly at all, but that was understandable when you consider how quickly she and my brother decided to get married.

  "Yeah, we live in a four bedroom house not too far from here. Trish and I share the place with two other roommates, Isaac and Ryan. You'll meet them all at the wedding."

  I was staring out the window, lost in thought about roommates and the fact that I didn't have one when she said, "Trish is volunteering at the Happy House starting next week."

  The Happy House was a nonprofit place started by my parents. My brother, Thomas, was the inspiration, and it was a place for people with special needs to take classes, play games, and just hang out and have fun. Carly was a science teacher and had been volunteering for a little while, but it was the first I'd heard about Trish.

  "What's she gonna be doing?" I asked.

  "Your mom left it pretty open. She's an English teacher, which you know. She was thinking about giving them some simple creative writing ideas, but maybe even something as simple as story time." She glanced at me from over the console with a smile. "I just kept going on and on about what a blessing it was to work with those guys, so Trish wanted to try it out. I think she'll love it."

  I felt a tinge of negative emotion as a result of this news. My parents opened that house over five years ago, and I'd been around there quite a bit, but I had never even thought about volunteering on a regular basis. I wasn't sure if I was feeling guilt, or jealousy, or maybe some combination of the two, but either way, the news of another English teacher beating me to the punch made me feel funny inside. I tried not to show it and smiled when Carly glanced at me.

  "That's really sweet of her," I said. "I know they'll be happy to have her around."

  My initial instinct was to blame my mother for not asking me to do it first, but that was ridiculous. I knew she and Thomas would love to have me volunteer, and I just never made myself available. It was my own fault.

  "Forgive me if I'm babbling and you don't care to hear any of this news," Carly said, glancing at me apologetically. "But while we're on the subject of new positions… your brother just hired Trish's boyfriend's brother to do concrete with him."

  "Really?"

  "Yeah. I was talking to Shane about his brother, and his story sort of pulled at my heartstrings, so I told Micah about it, and he hired him on the spot." She glanced at me smiling proudly.

  "Why'd he need a job?" I asked, wondering what she meant by the pulled at my heartstrings comment. "Does he have problems or something?"

  "Oh, I forgot you went to the bathroom when Trish was talking about him tonight." She paused and glanced at me, "Yeah, Shane's brother was in the Navy. He was in some special-forces unit or something. Anyway, he was in rehab for a long time and just got home like two weeks ago. He was honorably discharged with injuries, but Shane said he's got some issues. I think he wasn't too hip on working anywhere or doing anything until he met Micah. He's gonna try it out next week and see if it'll work out."

  "What's wrong with him?"

  "Physically he walks with a little limp, but you can't see any scars or anything… at least not with his clothes on."

  "And mentally?" I asked.

  Carly shrugged as if that was something she was curious about as well. "I think he probably has PTSD. Shane doesn't say much about it, but I know he was relieved that Micah was willing to work with him."

  "You think he's dangerous?" I asked, worried for my brother.

  She shook her head. "No, Shane's a good guy, and he said Brock would never cause anybody any harm. He's just been through a lot."

  I was about to say something about my friend, Chelsea's, uncle who had issues with PTSD, but my phone began to vibrate in my purse. I picked it up to see that it was Robin.

  "I should take this," I said to Carly.

  She gave me an understanding nod and smile as I pressed the button to take the call and held the phone to my ear.

  "Hey," I said.

  "Where are you?" he asked.

  "I'm with Carly."

  There was a long pause, and then he sighed. "Emily, why is there an application to C.C.'s bookstore on your table?"

  "Are you at my apartment?" I asked.

  "What other table would I be referring to?"

  "I thought you were hanging out with Ted and Jason tonight."

  "We came by your place to see if you were home." His voice turned to a whisper when he said, "I'm throwing away this piece of crap job application." Then his voice went back to normal volume. "What time are you gonna be home?"

  His statement made me feel angry and defensive. I figured he wouldn't love the idea of me getting a job, but I couldn't believe he said he was going to throw the application away. "I'll just have to pick up another one," I said stubbornly, though in a happy tone so Carly wouldn't pick up on any tension.

  "What'd you say?" he asked.

  "I said I'll be home in a little while. I'll probably see you tomorrow, though, since you have plans with Ted and Jason."

  "Did you say you'll have to pick up another one?" he asked. In a calm, measured, but obviously annoyed tone.

  "We'll talk about it tomorrow, Robin. Have fun tonight, okay?"

  "We won't talk about it because you don't need a job, Emily. End of conversation."

  "Carly's right here," I said, feeling embarrassed. "I can call you when I get home. Have fun tonight. I'll see you tomorrow." Then I added, "Love you!" in an effort to appease him and distract from my awkward phone conversation.

  "What time will you be here?" he asked again.

  "Probably within an hour," I said.

  He sighed and hung up. Robin had mentioned several times that working a retail position was beneath me, and I knew finding that application must've been a shock, but I honestly didn't think he was going over to my apartment, or I would have hidden it. Getting a job wasn't even a priority for me, but having him get so mad about it made me want to do it even more.

  "Okay, love you too," I said, for Carly's sake even though Robin had already hung up.

  Carly glanced at me, and I smiled as I put my phone away.

  "Robin?" she asked, being polite since she already knew who it was.

  "Yep," I replied.

  Thankfully, she could tell by my short answer that I really didn't feel like elaborating. We talk
ed about other things until we got back to my parents' house. She thanked me again for coming, but left straight from the driveway without coming inside. I, on the other hand, went inside to visit with my parents and Thomas for a few minutes, mostly because I didn't want to give Robin the satisfaction of knowing I went home right away.

  My dad was already in bed, but I talked with my mom and Thomas for a little while about how the evening went. Thomas thought of Carly as a science teacher, so he was really curious about us painting pottery and wondered if that was in some way related to science. I told him it wasn't and tried to explain to him that Carly only did science for a job and that she liked doing other things for fun, but he seemed skeptical like I'd forced her to paint pottery when what she really wanted to do was a science experiment. He finally came to terms with it once I insisted that she made the plans and not me.

  My apartment wasn't that far from my parents' house, so I was still smiling about the conversation I had with Thomas when I pulled into the parking lot.

  I knew the second I pulled up that Robin was still there. Ted's black Hummer was parked sideways in two parking spots. I was so confident it was his, that I turned the doorknob without even using my keys.

  "There!" his friend Jason said impatiently the second I opened the door. "She's home. Can we go now?"

  Ted and Jason were sitting on my couch watching TV, and Robin was sitting at my table with his chair cocked to the side. He was sprawled out with one hand on the table and the other on his knee.

  I looked back and forth from him to his friends, wondering why they were sitting there waiting for me. "He's so whipped, he wouldn't let us leave until he knew you got home safe," Ted explained, standing up and stretching as if he thought they'd be leaving now that I'd arrived. Robin put out a hand to stop him and Ted plopped back on the couch with a defeated expression. "I thought we were going out!" he whined.

  "We are," Robin said. "I just need to talk to Emily for a second, and we'll go. Why don't you guys wait in the truck?"

  Ted huffed. "Why'd you tell me to sit down?"