by J. Sterling
My dad started laughing. “No? Not even gonna lie to me, son?”
“Why would I lie to you?”
“Don’t most kids lie to their parents to stay out of trouble?”
“Am I in trouble?” I asked with a little more arrogance in my tone than I had intended because what was he going to do, ground me?
“Looks like it to me,” he said with a smug look on his face before pushing away.
“I’m sorry, Dad. I’m just pissed off.”
“At who?”
“Myself,” I breathed out in frustration. “Who else would I be pissed at?”
He shrugged both shoulders. “Never know. You could be mad at Danika. Or Coach Jackson. Or the commissary for being open.”
I huffed out a quick laugh. “You and Mom raised me better than that. I don’t really deflect.”
“You can thank your mom for that one. Taking responsibility for your actions. Owning up to your mistakes and not blaming others. That’s all her,” he said with a smile, and I didn’t say anything. “How long did Coach kick you off for?”
“Just today.”
“That’s good,” he said with a nod before snapping his fingers. “Oh, hey, how was your test?”
“I got a B minus.”
My dad’s grin grew even wider. “Nice. Guess the tutoring’s working then,” he said before taking a few steps away. “Hey, Chance. Don’t beat yourself up too much for today. Just don’t let it happen again.”
“Never,” I reassured him because I wouldn’t. What had happened this morning could never happen again, and I’d make sure of it.
“And don’t show up today. No matter how badly you want to, do not come to the field.”
“I know. I won’t.”
I spent the rest of the morning damn near sulking in my room until well past noon. It was weird as fuck, being home alone while the rest of my teammates were at the field, practicing. I wanted to be there. I needed to be there. I was supposed to be there.
But I wasn’t.
Grabbing a bat, I walked into the backyard where a tee and a small net were already set up. I might not be able to hit with my boys at the moment, but I could still practice at home. It wasn’t quite the same, but it would have to do. I’d swing this bat until my fingers bled.
It might have looked extreme to someone from the outside, but when you loved something as much as I loved baseball, you fought for it. And when you fucked up and had no one else to blame for your mistakes, you punished yourself for it.
My phone buzzed and kept buzzing. I wondered who was actually calling me instead of texting as I pulled it from my pocket. Cole’s name flashed across the screen.
“Hey,” I answered.
“Hey. I thought I’d swing by later. You gonna be home?”
“Yeah. I’m here all day. Come by anytime.”
“All right. That was easy. See you later,” he said with a laugh before ending the call.
Most of us guys didn’t tend to chitchat. We got straight to the point and then got on with our lives … with the exception of Mac. I was pretty sure that guy would talk on the phone for hours if you let him.
I kept hitting off the tee, even as sweat dripped down my forehead and burned my eyes. Only when my stomach growled and I felt a little dizzy on my feet did I stop. I needed food. And a shower.
By the time I got out of the shower, the house was loud, and I knew that my roommates were back. Toweling off my hair, I pulled on a pair of shorts and walked out of my room to find Cole sitting in the kitchen, drinking a beer with Mac, Colin, and Dayton.
“There he is.” Mac gave a nod in my direction, and Cole swiveled in his chair to face me.
“Hey.” He stood up and walked over, patting my back with both fists.
I hadn’t realized how much I missed having him around until he was standing right in front of me.
“Hey, man. It’s good to see you,” I said.
“You too. Heard Coach kicked you out today. What happened?” he asked before sitting back down and reaching for his beer.
I eyeballed the rest of my roommates, who were waiting for me to answer. “I was late to weights.” I tried to play it off like it was no big deal, but we all knew that being late during the off-season was as unacceptable as being late during the regular season.
Cole gave me a knowing look. “Coach Jackson doesn’t fuck around, man.”
“Tell me about it,” I agreed, and he finished off his beer. “How’s ball?” I asked, dying to know how playing professional baseball was from his perspective. He was already doing the one thing we were still striving for.
“It’s good but hard.” He looked me dead in the eye. “It’s different than this was.”
“How so?” Dayton asked.
We were all practically foaming at the mouths for this information. Every one of us wanted the chance to play professional baseball, and Cole was currently doing it. He was living the dream.
“Every player is good at what they do. Don’t get me wrong; the guys here at Fullton are good, too, but it’s just different,” he started to explain, and we all seemed to lean closer toward him on instinct. “Everyone has the same goal. Every guy is getting paid to be there, and they all want to get to the next level. No one is there to stay in Single-A baseball for long, you know?”
I nodded my head and noticed that the guys were all doing the same. I’d had at least a million talks about this exact subject with my dad, but maybe things were different now. “What’s the biggest change that you’ve noticed from college to pro?”
Cole stayed quiet for a minute, clearly weighing his answer. “It’s twofold, I think. The hitting is one.”
“What do you mean? How?” Colin asked, and I knew it was because hitting was the one area he was constantly trying to improve. He struggled on and off at the plate.
“Pretty much every guy can hit. Home runs, I mean. It doesn’t matter if you can hit singles and doubles. As long as you rake in the homers consistently, you’re golden to coaches.”
Colin’s face dropped. He almost looked like he was about to cry. “That’s not even realistic.”
“I know. It’s not how I was taught to play either,” Cole agreed.
“A home run every now and then is nice, but a three fifty batting average with a high number of RBIs sounds better to me,” Mac said, and I knew that we were getting into the one thing that most players never thought about—the business aspect of baseball.
Thankfully, I had been well versed on the business side of the game because of my dad and uncle. “They don’t care about that right now. They haven’t for a few years. You can strike out ten times out of fifteen, but if those other five at bats are home runs, they’ll practically throw you a parade,” I said because it was true.
I’d been watching the game shift and bend and move since I started playing. It had basically evolved into a Home Run Derby of sorts, and it went against everything I’d ever thought about the sport.
“What’s the second thing?” Dayton asked. “You said there were two things. The hitting was first. What’s the second?”
“You’ll like this one.” Cole looked right at Dayton and grinned. “The pitching.”
“What about it?” Dayton turned serious.
“The pitchers are all fucking on point. They have control. Speed. Accuracy.”
Dayton nodded. “They should. Or else they shouldn’t be there.”
I laughed at the way Dayton had said it, but I completely understood what he was getting at. He was most likely going to be our Friday night starter this season, and you didn’t earn that honor by being a half-assed pitcher who couldn’t do his job well.
“You’re right,” Cole said. “But the big difference is, if they’re struggling at all on the mound, they get yanked. There’re just too many other pitchers waiting to take their place.”
“Damn,” Colin breathed out, and he still looked a little pale.
I clapped him on the back. “You all right, man?”
“Just feeling overwhelmed, and I’m not even there yet,” he admitted, and I respected his ability to be so candid and vulnerable when the rest of us played tough all the time.
“You think it’s hard now?” Cole asked Colin but didn’t wait for a response. “Once you get drafted, the real work’s just beginning. Every day, you have to get better. You can’t slack. You can’t ease up. You can’t not improve.”
I watched as Colin swallowed hard, his hands folding in, and I knew instantly in the pit of my stomach that he didn’t have what it took to play professional baseball. This game required mental strength above all else. You could be a great player, but if you were easily rattled the minute something went wrong on the field, you were done for.
I figured I’d help Colin out and change the subject a little. “So, how’s Christina?”
Cole’s face lit up. If there was one thing he loved more than baseball, it was his girl.
“Great. Super busy with work and with me.” He grinned before wagging his eyebrows. “She’s amazing. So talented. So smart.”
“Jeez. Marry the girl already,” Mac deadpanned.
I was expecting Cole to have some kind of smart-ass response.
“I plan on it.”
I jerked my head back. “Really? Already?”
“I mean, at some point, yeah. Of course. She’s it for me, man.” He sounded so sure of himself, which was a little surprising after all the drama he’d gone through to be with her. But that was probably why he felt the way he did. Maybe when you blew the world apart to be together, you ended up on solid ground.
“It’s crazy to hear you say that when last year was such a shitshow,” I said, merely meaning to point out the obvious.
“Last year was pure hell. But I’m grateful for it. We had to go through all that, you know? It was all worth it,” Cole added confidently.
“You’d do it again?” Mac asked seriously.
“If it got us to where we are now? Abso-fucking-lutely. Plus, I can’t imagine going through all of this without her. Having teammates is one thing, but they really only care about themselves. Everyone is trying to get to the next level, and that’s a journey of one. Having someone who believes in you and supports you and is on your side?” He blew out a breath. “It’s something else entirely. I’d be really lonely without her. I’d feel like I was doing all of this by myself.”
“Damn,” I said, unsure of why I sounded so shocked since I couldn’t imagine Cole without Christina.
I guessed I’d never heard anyone describe getting drafted and getting the opportunity to play in that way before. No one had ever mentioned that it was lonely. Not even my dad.
“What about you knuckleheads? Mac still making out with every willing female on campus?” Cole looked around at the four of us and waited to be filled in.
“Hey, I’m right here,” Mac practically whined.
“Well, are you?”
Mac shifted in his seat, like the topic made him uncomfortable when he was usually so overly cocky about it. “Ask Chance about his love life instead.”
Cole’s face morphed into a look of instant amusement. “Carter, you have a love life?”
I smacked Mac’s arm as Colin and Dayton all started talking at once.
“No,” I practically shouted over the noise.
“Tell him about Tutor Girl,” Mac pushed as Colin and Dayton oohed and aahed like a couple of fucking kids.
“Tutor Girl?” Cole looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to say more. “Are you actually dating someone?” Cole asked, totally confused, and Mac howled with laughter.
“That’s the best part.” Mac was still laughing. “She has a boyfriend!”
“Not sure why that’s so fucking funny.” I shot him a look that only made him laugh more.
Dayton and Colin both smiled, but so far, they weren’t laughing, which I appreciated because I started to feel like a joke.
“It’s not funny, per se. It’s irony at its finest,” Dayton said before adding, “Chance Carter finally likes a chick. And she has a fucking boyfriend.”
Cole’s hand gripped my shoulder. “Never thought I’d see the day.”
“It’s nothing. There is no day.” I tried to play nonchalant, but everyone knew I was faking it. Or at least trying to.
Cole snapped his fingers. “Wait. You said she was a tutor? I totally know who you’re talking about.”
My entire body tensed with his words. “How could you possibly know who we’re talking about?”
Cole looked me dead in the eyes. “ ’Cause there’s only one female in the athletic tutoring department who is fine as hell and hasn’t graduated yet,” he said before adding, “But I thought she quit after what happened to her last year.”
I glanced at Mac, wondering if he knew what Cole was talking about, but he looked as confused as I felt. “What happened last year?” I asked.
“You guys never heard about the football player who stalked his tutor?” Cole asked, and the story vaguely rang a bell in the back of my mind but not really.
“I feel like I might have heard something about it, but I didn’t pay it that much attention,” I admitted before feeling like an asshole.
“I didn’t hear anything about it,” Mac said with a shrug.
“Me either,” Dayton added.
Colin sat there, still sulking from the baseball conversation. I wasn’t even sure he was listening anymore.
“What happened? You’re sure it was Danika?” I asked.
Cole’s head yanked back in recognition. “That’s her name. From the East Coast, right?”
“Yeah, New York,” I added, feeling defensive and angry.
“Mmhmm. It was definitely her.”
“So, what happened? How many times do I have to fucking ask you that?” I practically bit his head off.
Cole huffed out a small laugh before pointing a finger at me. “You really do like this girl.” He continued to grin, and I was about to lose my damn mind if he didn’t tell me what the hell had happened to her. “So, I don’t know much really. Just that the guy stalked her. Like, he showed up at her place a few times or something. It got pretty bad and she threatened to go to Compliance if he didn’t stop.
“Who was it?” I ground out, wanting to tear the guy’s throat out.
“I don’t know for sure, but I always heard it was Kenny.”
“That football douche who got drafted?” Mac asked with a snarl.
I didn’t hang out with non-baseball players unless we shared a class, so I didn’t know most of the other athletes on campus. But I remembered Kenny—not because he’d gotten drafted into the NFL last year, but because he was always acting like a fucking idiot whenever I saw him around. The guy did things like pound his chest, proclaiming to be Tarzan while he tossed girls over his shoulder and spanked their asses. It made me sick, thinking about a guy like him pursuing Danika. Her distaste for athletes made more sense now.
“Yeah. I don’t know a hundred percent that it was him, but that’s what I always heard.”
“He seems like the type who wouldn’t take no for an answer,” Colin added out of nowhere, and I swore my blood started boiling inside my veins.
“Carter?”
I met Cole’s watchful gaze.
“You good?” he asked.
“No,” I admitted.
“Let it go. She handled it. He’s long gone,” Cole said, clearly trying to calm me down.
“The same way you’d let it go if it were Christina? The same way you let it go last year with Logan?”
I was being kind of a dick, and I knew it, but this was Danika we were talking about. The thought of someone stalking her, showing up at her house and not taking no for an answer, was making me feel violent. I couldn’t believe she never told me this had happened to her. But then again, when had I given her the chance? And why would she bring that up to me now? What would have been the point?
Something additional snapped inside me. Another piece of the Jared
puzzle slid into place without warning. This was just another example of him being there for her when she needed someone. One more thing that had connected them, that bonded them together, that made their relationship stronger. One more thing that I could never compete with.
Maybe it wasn’t about the money at all for Jared. I really didn’t know, but I did know that it was none of my fucking business.
Secrets Brought to Light
Danika
I was nervous for my next tutoring session with Chance. As I walked toward the library by myself, scanning my surroundings with each step, I felt those familiar butterflies come to life in the pit of my stomach. Maybe it wasn’t nerves at all. Maybe I was just excited to see him.
Neither option was good, especially with the current state of my relationship. I hadn’t talked to Jared since our fight in the commissary yesterday. I’d ignored all two of his calls and text messages. I knew that he felt like I was the one who was wrong, so I should be apologizing and chasing him, but I was tired of trying to fix the things that kept breaking between us. His controlling behavior was exhausting. And I was tired. Not to mention the fact that I was genuinely pissed at him. So, no, I wouldn’t be doing the chasing this time regardless of my role.
Climbing up the stairs, I turned toward the private tutoring offices and spotted Chance already sitting in there, his back to me. He was gorgeous, all broad shoulders and strong arms. And don’t get me started on that chest. Guys in college shouldn’t look that good. They shouldn’t be able to look like men who could slay dragons for their women, just to keep them safe.
But Chance Carter did. He’d looked like he wanted to kill Jared yesterday, and even if it made me a bad person, it’d turned me on. I’d never seen Chance look so angry, and I still had no idea why, but I assumed it had to have been about me.
I paused for a moment when I reached the door and inhaled a long breath before grabbing the knob. The moment my hand touched the cold metal, Chance turned around, his hard green eyes meeting mine and instantly softening. I tried to stop the smile from forming on my face but failed. It was official: Chance Carter made me giddy.
“Hey,” I said as I closed the door behind me.
