Conquer Me (Sawtooth Shifters, #4)

by Kristen Strassel

  “We don’t need the candles,” I said. Major lit up the room all on his own.

  He shook his head, then stripped the pillow of its case. He took one of my hands, then the other, holding them over my head and looping the fabric around my wrists. It was a tight fit, getting everything bound to the headboard. Major tugged on the binding, making sure the connection was secure.

  Holy shit.

  I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Mainly because I’d waited thirty-five years to have a night like this. It wasn’t our first night together, but it was the first one that didn’t have to be conducted under a veil of shame and secrecy. I wanted to experience everything Major had to offer. But to completely turn myself over to Major, bend to his will, was something I never expected.

  His beard tickled my nipple. He ran his chin over it repeatedly, and the nub strained to meet him. I’d never been very ticklish, but I squirmed under his feather touch. Just when the sensation became too much to bear, he lowered his mouth, blowing hot air on the aching skin. I arched my back, moaning, wishing he’d take the bud in his mouth, suck on it, anything to alleviate the pressure he sent rushing through me.

  Major was in no hurry; after all, he’d thought this through. He circled the other nipple with his tongue, scraping his teeth against the tip. I gasped. Just the tiniest amount of pressure against the taut skin could rip me open, in more ways than one. He continued his slow, gentle play until I bucked below him, all the little lightning bolts zinging my nerve endings.

  God, I wanted to touch him so bad. To rake my fingers through his hair and push his head down to my throbbing core. Or put something else there. His erection rested against my leg. Long, hard, and ready. How could he be so patient? I was ready to explode. But I loved the way he gazed at my body, like it was something he’d never seen before, taking his time and making sure everything was perfect.

  I ground my thigh against his erection, hoping to have the same effect on his body as he had on mine, and it worked. Major pinned my hips down, and now there was no escape from what he had planned. He nudged my legs open with his knee, and positioned his cock to enter me.

  “I want to feel you.” Major’s voice was strained. “Is that okay?”

  “I want the same thing.”

  Skin on skin he filled me, burying himself completely in me. My body bowed, welcoming him home. Major picked up my legs, placing them over each shoulder before beginning to thrust. Our gazes locked, he pistoned his hips back and forth. I had no control over anything, my body absorbing every sensation as it rollicked through me. He fell forward, trying to catch my lips in a messy, stolen kiss, but the momentum of his thrusts put me just out of reach. I half laughed, half cried out, trying to help him, but I couldn’t do it.

  Even though the first eruptions of my next orgasm were starting to build, this was my favorite part of the whole night. The hunger, the messiness, the honesty.

  I loved him. More than I ever knew how to put into words.

  “I’m going to come,” I said, panting.

  “Why’d you tell me that?” Major grinned, but his words came between labored breaths. “Nothing makes a guy come faster than hearing those words.”

  “What’s wrong with that? I want to watch you lose control.”

  “Fuck, Cass.” His shaft swelled inside me, and he pulled out quickly. I would’ve taken his cock in my hand if they weren’t tied over my head. I would’ve offered to finish him off with my tongue if I hadn’t made good on my promise, but my body throbbed, his absence echoing as the climax rolled through me.

  Major untied my arms, rubbing sensation back into them. He kissed me as he worked, trying to make up for all the ones he missed just minutes before. “Just think. We can do that every night for the rest of our lives.”

  I couldn’t stop kissing him. “Every night? What happens when we get old?”

  “Old people have amazing sex, Cass. And I told you already. When I die, I’m going to do it with your taste on my lips.”

  Three Months Later

  Cass

  I’d never actually moved before. I lived with my parents until I got married. Even through college, I already knew what I was going to be when I grew up, and I hadn’t wanted to miss a second of stolen time with Major. When I moved into Walter’s house, all I had to do was bring my clothes. He took care of everything else.

  Moving was exhausting.

  One of the ranch managers bought the farm from me, and I was glad to sell it to him. He’d worked his way up from ranch hand, and he loved the animals and the land. Major made sure he hadn’t been one of the men who’d fought with Walter and his father, standing guard over the dog fights. I wouldn’t have spit on him if he’d been on fire if that was the case, but the coast was clear.

  I let him have everything. The furniture was just stuff, and I didn’t want to be reminded of the house at all. This new beginning deserved a clean slate.

  “We’re so glad to have you back, Cassie.” My old next door neighbor, Freda, kissed me on the cheek, handing me an apple pie. It was still warm and smelled divine. How’d she know I’d been craving apples? Being back in the forest, so close to nature, I couldn’t get enough. “The house looks better than it ever did.”

  “Doesn’t it? I didn’t think we’d ever get it done.” We’d fixed up my parents old house, scrubbing away any decay and loneliness. That saying that it takes a village turned out to be true. The Channing brothers owned a home building company. They helped us with renovations. Some of the older women in the village knew how to reupholster furniture. I loved working with them—they had so many stories about my parents it almost felt like they were here with us. We painted the outside blue with the faintest yellow trim, like a clear sunny day. I wanted everyone who came to our house to be happy. Because I sure as hell was.

  “Your mother would’ve loved what you did here. She was always saying how much she wanted to fix the place up.” Freda smiled, following me in the front door. “Where’s that beautiful girl?”

  “I’m in here!” Emma didn’t let a little thing like bashfulness get in her way. She sat at the table, legs swinging, crayons everywhere, working on a masterpiece for our newly opened refrigerator art gallery. She sniffed, straining to see what I had in my hands. “What’s that?”

  “Apple pie.”

  Her eyes widened. “Can I have some?”

  “Not until after dinner,” Connie said. She sat next to Emma, helping her with her lesson. Connie and I had had a heart to heart after Walter’s service. Turns out, she was just as afraid of my husband as I was. I had an easier time forgiving her after I found out her and her late husband’s past with Walter, and things started to make more sense. She loved Emma, so I gave her another chance. She was here on a volunteer basis. I didn’t have that kind of money anymore, without the income from the ranch and after buying Emma out of her contract. I hadn’t been convinced she’d come for free, but she did. Almost every day. It wasn’t always smooth sailing, but I didn’t want to strangle her anymore. “Show Mommy and Freda your picture.”

  “Okay.” Emma picked up the sheet of paper. She specialized in abstracts. “It’s me, and Mommy, and Major, and Nini, and Roscoe.” Roscoe was our dog.

  “You should frame it,” Freda said. “Give it to her when she has her mating ceremony.”

  “I don’t know if I’ll be one of those parents who embarrasses her with baby pictures on dates.” I took the paper from Emma, loving the way she saw us, even if it was a bunch of crazy scribbles. “I might frame it though.”

  Emma beamed, loving that idea. “Nini, come play on the swing with me.” Emma’s favorite part of her new house was the rope swing that hung from a tree branch in the back yard. I’d spent so much time on that thing as a kid.

  “Is everything all set for your mating ceremony?” Freda wiggled her eyebrows.

  “As far as I know.” The forest was in a frenzy over this. I’d lost all control over the situation. Everyone wanted a hand in planning it, and
honestly, all I cared about was promising myself to Major. Being able to kiss him in front of everybody. Truly be his. The rest of it was just details.

  The door closed behind us. “You’re going to have to answer to every man in Sawtooth Forest, Cassidy.” Major smirked, kissing me on the forehead before taking off his leather jacket. “They’re in an uproar that there’s no Full Moon Fever Party next month.”

  “Oh, please.” I rolled my eyes. “They’re all perfectly capable of getting laid on their own without you throwing a kegger in their honor.”

  “They’re teasing. This is a big deal. We haven’t had a mating ceremony in over twenty years. They’re just as excited as we are. Because they could be next.” Freda’s eyes teared up. “I’ll let the two of you settle in for the night. I’ll go out the back so I can say goodbye to the girls.”

  I grabbed Major by the shirt collar, pulling him in for a kiss. I craved him more than I craved that pie.

  “Fuck, it’s so good to come home to you every night.” Light danced in his topaz eyes. He took Emma’s picture out of my hand. “What’s this?”

  “Us, according to Emma.”

  Major held the picture away from his face, squinting and then brought it in closer. “I can make out the dog, but the rest of it’s a blur.”

  “I love it.” I snatched it back from him. “Freda said I should frame it, and I think I’m going to. But Emma’s going to have to draw another family portrait.”

  I took his hand in mine and placed it on my belly. The baby couldn’t be bigger than my fingernail right now. She’d never remember it, but that was the first time her parents held her.

  Major tipped his head in confusion, then he blinked rapidly, and his jaw dropped. “No way.”

  I nodded, covering my mouth because my smile was too big for my face.

  “Holy shit.” Major leaned back against the counter looking completely dazed. “None of us ever thought...” He picked me up and sat me on the counter, his gaze fixed on my belly. “I can’t wait to meet our baby.”

  Major brought his hand to my stomach, brushing his fingers lightly back and forth. I think he was actually in shock. The good kind, when a dream came true. The shock wouldn’t go away for me for a long time; every morning when I woke up with Major’s arms around me, when he came home to me at the end of every day, when we ate together, and when he’d crawl back on the couch and kiss me after helping put Emma to bed. The same look was in his eyes, he couldn’t believe it yet, either. We’d be lost to each other all over again for a spit second every time. He was mine. Ours. But now, with someone to carry on the Lowe name and the traditions of Sawtooth Forest, my future husband was going to be invincible.

  Thank you!

  I hope you loved Major and Cass! All Channings and the Lowes will get mates, and next up is Shea. The Lowes have a bad reputation, but Shea is the one who throws a punch first and asks questions later. So naturally, I gave him the Christmas story. CELEBRATE ME will be available December 15, but it’s available for preorder and you can snag your copy now. Let’s keep in touch!

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  Chapter One

  Shea

  “Don’t even think about it.” Trina, my new boss, glared at me. She’d been on my case all week. Trina hated my guts. When we met, I was in the process of killing someone. Didn’t make the best first impression.

  Nothing a little hard work couldn’t fix. I might be an asshole, but I was an asshole Trina needed desperately. As soon as she announced plans to expand her animal shelter, Forever Home, to include livestock, she had a line of animals needing good homes. She couldn’t say no to the animals, and in turn, couldn’t say no when I asked for a job.

  This had to work, for both of us. And it would, as long as I kept my mouth shut. And she didn’t tell me what to do.

  “Think about what?” I knew exactly what she was talking about, and I didn’t like it.

  “Delaney.” Trina motioned to the girl on the couch. I’d never seen her before today. She hugged her knees to her chest. Curly blonde hair shielded her face, and I didn’t need to see her expression to know she was terrified. “She just got here, and hasn’t settled in yet.”

  “No shit. So the best way to make her feel welcome is to ignore her.” I’d been given heads up about the girls who worked at Forever Home from Shadow. He was the new pack alpha and Trina’s mate—if wolves could actually mate with humans.

  And I killed Shadow’s brother. As far as Shadow was concerned, I was on a need-to-know basis. Good for me that I knew something that no one else around here did—how to care for livestock.

  I ignored Trina, approaching Delaney. I knelt in front of her to introduce myself. Maybe she didn’t feel welcome. Join the club. Trina had barked orders at me the minute I walked in. Not exactly a ‘Welcome to Forever Home’ banner and red carpet.

  Delaney put her head down on her knees, trembling, hair falling over her legs like a veil.

  Didn’t expect that.

  She was fucking terrified. It went way beyond Trina not knowing how to drive the welcome wagon, and it fucking broke my heart. The only good thing about that is it confirmed I still had one.

  I looked to Trina for guidance. She had to know something about this girl. She motioned for me to follow her. I glanced back at Delaney, not ready to walk away from her. She stayed in the knot she tied herself in, even after I left.

  Trina leaned against the outside wall of the shelter and took a deep breath. “I have no idea what to do with her.” She looked back to the door, but no one had followed us. Her eyes were glassy. “It’s never been like this before. I’m not sure what you know about us here—“

  “Shadow told me a little bit.” I made it easier on her. I couldn’t handle it when girls cried.

  Shadow and I’d never gotten along, and I didn’t need new friends. Just a springboard to a paying job. He’d taken me aside, and warned me to be careful. Everyone who worked here had come as part of their recovery process. I knew about being an outcast, so I’d fit right in. As soon as the girls stopped looking at me like a pariah.

  Trina relaxed, the corners of her mouth turning up slightly. Thank God she didn’t cry. “Okay. Good. We’re all here from a place called CAST. It’s the Center for Anxiety and Stress Therapy. I wound up there after a car accident that killed my fiancé. Before CAST, I was like that,” she said, pointing at the door towards Delaney. Whimpering sounds came from inside. “Completely catatonic. The animals were the only thing that helped me. Anyway, all of us had some pretty serious shit happen. But Delaney... all I know is that she was severely abused. She doesn’t talk. She came to my house this weekend, and she was like that most of the time. Curled up in a ball. Won’t even look at any of us.”

  “Because she’s scared out of her mind. I’d think you, of all people would understand that,” I said. Trina better make her point quick because she was pissing me off.

  “I do. I know what was going on in my head when I was like that, and it wasn’t good. But no one could force me out of it. I want to help her, and I plan on it. It’s horrifying, because sometimes it would be really easy for me to go back to that place. When the other girls came to me, they were further along in their recovery. None of us know what to do with her. We want her to feel comfortable, without alienating her more.” Trina rubbed her hands against her bare arms. She’d come outside without putting on a jacket, and a sharp December breeze whipped through the parking lot.

  “What makes you qualified to help her? That it happened to you?” I rolled my eyes.

  “I volunteered because CAST didn’t know what to do with her. What if they gave up and sent her back to where she came from?” Trina shuddered. “I wanted to help. There aren’t any books on how to human. All I know of you, Shea, is that you’re a loose cannon with a short temper. I don’t know Delaney yet, but I protect my girl
s. This needs to be a safe place for everyone.”

  I’d argue with her assessment of me, but she nailed it. “I don’t like it when people make up their minds about me before they’ve given me a chance. I’d be willing to bet you don’t like it when it happens to you, Trina.” I paused, and she shook her head. “Maybe I’m not such an asshole. You met me at the absolute lowest time of my life. I did what I needed to do to survive. If it wasn’t Archer who died, it would’ve been me. I’m not perfect and I don’t claim to be. But you know what? I bet Delaney would agree with us. That looks pretty close to rock bottom to me. She’s hanging on, trying to get through it.”

  “I look at you and I can still feel Archer take his last breath in my arms.” Trina shook her head, her voice cracked. She’d rescued all of us from a dog fighting ring. My family and the Channing pack had been imprisoned in our wolf form, and it was kill or be killed. She’d been too late for Archer. “If we do the wrong thing with Delaney, we might not be able to undo it. I’ve been through this before. I know you’re trying to help, but follow my lead. Please.”

  Trina headed up the stairs, her hand on the doorknob, waiting for my answer, or apology, or something. At one point I would’ve told her to take her job and shove it up her ass, but the fights changed all of us. For the first time in a long time, I cared about someone besides myself.

  Delaney.

  She needed someone to fight for her.

  “I’ll try.” It was the best I could do. My brother Xavier waited for me in his truck, my ride for the barn. He could wait a few more minutes. I went back in the shelter. I had to see Delaney one more time, but I’d never tell Trina why.

  Trina smiled. “Good. I’m actually glad you’re here, Shea. The barn is in amazing shape already. I want this to work. For all of us.”

  I sat beside Delaney on the couch but she didn’t notice, trembling even harder now. It resonated deep inside me. She was braver than me, letting her fear out. I kept mine buried deep inside. I’d done so many shitty things to shield it, and I never knew what was coming next. I was caught in a culture I’d helped create and grown to hate. Fighting, blood, fear, uncertainty. Chaos. For now it sustained my brothers and I, but at some point, it would be our downfall. We’d be the weak, relying on someone to take care of us. Would they?